Jason's POV
WARNING! DO NOT READ THE ITALICS, IF YOU CANNOT TAKE CHILD ABUSE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, OR SUICIDE ATTEMPT!
"Shut up, and bend over!" He yells, pushing my face into the cushion of the cars seat. "Please, please I don't want to do this, man." I hear the telltale signs of a wrapper being torn open, causing me to panic. If I don't fight, it will happen again... for the second time.
I lift my head up, failing to squirm out his tight hold on my body. I kick, scream, yell, as well as hitting him with all my might. But nothing seems to make him stop him from groping me sexually.
"Help! Help me please, anybo-" He shoves my face roughly into the seat, plunging his disgracefulness inside of me. Nothing but a muffled scream comes out of my mouth. "I told you to fucking shut up, so you brought this upon yourself sweetheart." Cyrus spanks my bottom, as he plunges aggressively inside me for the second time in this week. I'm still so sore from the first time he took my virginity.
"Mmm." I cry softly, trying to be strong as I can. I'm only twelve, how strong can I be while a twenty nine year old man take me. "Yes, right there Jason. I love you baby boy, you're doing such a great job." He lifts my head up, turning me around to kiss me on my lips. Disgusting!
For the next ten minutes, I endure nothing but pain and torture. I tried to run when he wanted to change positions, which only caused me to get a fat lip. As well as Cyrus angrily thrusting into me harder than the first time. When he was reaching his peak, he pulled of the condom, releasing all over my chest. Forcing me to suck him clean. Nothing but disgust is what I have for him. He's a low dirty scumbag, who rapes young children. Young boys at that. He waited a whole year to butter me up, and finally molest me.
"See that wasn't so bad I would've liked for you to listen, I didn't want to burst your beautiful lips baby." Cyrus pulls up his pants, as I do the same to mine. "I know you're a little upset, but you'll get used to it. The pain turns into pleasure after a while. Let's get you home, it's getting late." He hops into the drivers side of his flatbed pickup truck, with me limping to the passenger side.
"Buckle up your seatbelt. I wouldn't want you to get hurt if we got into a car accident. I love you way too much to see you hurt. Cyrus rubs my thigh, making me whimper silently. "Okay Cyrus." I quickly buckle up, hearing him nasty cough, as he shoots a wink my way.
I hate him.
:::
"Now Jason, please be a good boy for me. Your dad isn't going to believe you if try to tell him. You've already tried last time... which really hurt my feelings. What's trust if we don't have it for one another? I love you Jason McCann, I truly do." Cyrus leans over to me, giving me a peck on my swollen lips. I turn my head away, only causing him to turn me back around to him. "Don't move away from me again, I won't hesitate to fuck you some more. Tell me you love me, and I want to hear it clear this time. Last time you had to get a black eye, since you refused." Nodding sadly, I look at a piece of paint splatter under his eye.
He would've given me a hit to my chest, if I didn't make "eye contact" with him.
"I-I lo-love you." Hating myself for saying it, I look out my window. "That was better sweetheart, I love you too. So very much." He turns me to face him once more, smashing his lips onto mine. Even shoving his nasty cigarette-tasting tongue, inside my mouth.
"Mmm, yummy boy," He pulls away from me, rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs. "Go on ahead inside, get yourself cleaned up. I'll see you later, make sure you sleep tight. Not that you wouldn't. I love you." He kisses my cheek once more, before I step out of his truck.
He waves to me, as he pulls off into the evening sunset. I kick a rock on the ground, nearly falling as I do so. I feel dirty, used, and worthless as I can possibly be. Sniffing a little, I take my time walking through my yard, to my front door of my house. I would've went to see Malarie's house, but I'm not allowed to see her anymore. I turn the knob of my front door, walking inside. Only to be met with strippers, drugs, and lots of my father's gang member friends.
"Hey Jason!" A tall guy, who goes by the name Stiletto pats the top of my head. "Hey." I reply, walking past the kitchen, up to the stairs.
There's no need to look in the kitchen, there's never food in there anyway.
I go to knock on Alex's door, but I see he's preoccupied at the moment. I can see the 'Don't Disturb' sign on his doorknob. Sighing sadly, I go to my bedroom, pulling all my essentials needed for a long hot shower. I'm in lots of pain, on top of me feeling like a complete disgrace. My mother would be so disappointed in me letting Cyrus harm me like that. At least this time I braced myself for the painful thrust and plunges inside my opening. He not only molested me, but he tore my spirits.
I walk inside the bathroom, setting my towel and pajamas on the closed toilet seat. Slowly walking over to the shower, I turn it on, making sure it was hot enough for me. I brush my teeth roughly, making sure to get the nasty taste of Cyrus out of my mouth. After making myself gag to the point where I'm throwing up, I brush my teeth a little more gentle than before. Staring at myself in the mirror, hating every single inch of me. I grumble to myself. Not liking the view, I punch the mirror, shattering it into millions of pieces. The glass shards in my knuckles, makes me shake in fury. Or it could be pain as well.
"It hurts, but I love the pain." I speak to myself, pressing the glass piece more into my knuckle. Causing blood to drip down onto the cold tiled flooring. "Let's see how you feel on my wrist, glass." Taking the glass away from knuckles, I settle the piece on my right wrist. "You. Are. Nothing. Jason. Andrew. McCann. You'll never be anything." I cry through my sliding of the glass across my right wrist, grunting in agonizing pain.
The room becomes filled with steam from the hot shower, making me feel somewhat at ease. This is the first time I've ever inflicted harm upon myself, and it feels so damn good! Not satisfied with the two deep cuts on my knuckles and wrist, I do the unthinkable of gliding the glass over my right cheek. Screaming out in nothing but excruciating pain.
"Jason!" I hear Alex yell out to me, as he bangs on the door! "Baby bro, open up the door!" He shouts in hysterics, banging on the door as if he was a maniac.
My vision begins to blur, causing me to see double. I say something, yet no one is answering. I call out to him- to anyone, but still, no one hears me. That's when I hear it... I hear a voice calling out to me. Shaking my body in their arms.
"Jason!" They shake me fiercely, yet I do not wake up. "Jason, please wake up!" They plead with me, slapping, and shaking me.
"Baby please wake up!" Cyrus voice calls out to me, as he runs his hands over my chest! "NO!" I yell out loudly as I can. Sitting up to choke him- to kill him for what he has done to me.
"You're going to die Cyrus!!" I hover over his body, placing my hands around his neck. "You're dead you fucking asshole!!" I choke him and choke him, receiving several weak hits upon my bare chest.
Not liking his filthy hands on me, I go to punch him, yet I hit the pillow beside his head instead. He tries to say something, put I grasp his silky hair into my left hand. He squirms underneath me, as if he's trying to get away from me. No, he's not going anywhere.
"You're dead." I slap my hand over his mouth, causing him to cry out in nothing but pain. I know I've drawn blood to his lips, as he did the very same to me. "You're gone." I reach over to my drawer, pulling out my gun.
Skillfully taking off the safety with one hand, I cock the gun ready to put a bullet into his skull. Shoving the gun into the middle of his forehead, he squeals like some damn girl. Hitting me a bit firmer than before... almost as if he is pleading with me.
"Say goodbye forever, you fucking asshole!" I go to shoot him, but he bites me quite hard on my palm, probably making blood appear on my skin. "Somebody please help me Jason's going to kill me, Jason's going to kill me!!" He screams in nothing but a scared anxious tone, trying to wiggle free. That only makes me angrier than before.
I bring my hand back, going to hit him with my gun. Although a body knocks me down, causing us to crash to the ground. Feeling the need to protect myself from any harm or danger, I try to pull the trigger on my gun. Yet another body kicks it out my hand, sending nothing but an unbearable aching feeling through my right hand.
"AHHH!" I screech thrashing in the persons grip, receiving several slaps to my face. "JASON CALM DOWN, MAN!" I feel a freezing cold sensation being poured on my face.
"I have to kill him! I have to kill him let me fucking kill him!" I plead, still not backing down without a fight, as I struggle in the individual's tight hold on me. "HEY! Hear the sound of my voice, it's me Alex! You are okay, baby brother. It's me, okay? You're fine man, calm down!" I hear Alex's voice, immediately stopping my movement.
Coming to my senses, I open up my tightly closed eyes. Looking around, I see that I'm in my room, in fact in my brother's protective arms. As I still shake uncontrollably, I search the room, to see my mom walking out the room with a crying Malarie holding onto Jasper and Ariel. I go to get up, but Alex holds me down. With Za, and Ryan, stepping forward. Not quite understanding as to why I can't see my woman, I attempt to get up again.
"No, Jason. Not right now." Alex speaks in a sad tone. "What do you mean 'no'? I-I'm not sure why you're holding me down, but my woman is crying her eyes out. What's going on, why are you guys looking at me like that?" I cry tears of frustration and confusion.
"Bruh, you tried to kill Mal." Za speaks sadly, looking down at his sock covered feet. "WHAT?! Oh my- no, no I didn't." I cry, shaking my head in refusal, not believing a word he's saying.
"You did, Jase. You tried to shoot her, because you thought she was that piece of shit Cyrus." Ryan kneels down, wrapping a towel over my hand. "I was having nightmare about him, and tried to kill the woman of my children." I state, watching as he wraps the towel around my bloody right hand.
"Yeah." They answer remorsefully in union. "I didn't mean to, I swear I was sleeping. I swear I didn't know what I was doing." They nod weakly, sighing all together.
"I think I broke your hand, man. I had to kick the gun out your hand." I look down at my swollen left hand, feeling a stinging sensation as Ryan pokes a part on my skin. "I think you broke it too." I look at my swollen left hand, then to my bloody right hand. Great, I got two fucked up hands.
"Did the kids see?" I ask lowly, not wanting to hear the answer to my question. "No, Cal got to them before they could see anything." I breathe a sigh of relief, looking into space.
"Hey, don't do that. I'm sure she knows you didn't do it on purpose, clearly her name isn't Cyrus." Alex releases his grip on me, ruffling my hair. "I put my hands on her, yet again." Getting up, I walk to our ensuite bathroom. All three of them follow me.
"You know, I'm not too fond of you three looking at my dick while I take a piss." I roll my eyes, handling my business as they converse amongst each other. "We just have to hang around you for a while, you scared the shit out of Malarie. To the point where she was having a bad asthma attack. But you were chocking her... so I guess that could be the cause too." Za explains, earning a smack to his chest by Alex.
"Are y'all going to watch me as I take a shower, too?" I attempt to turn on the shower, but my messed up hands wouldn't let me. "Can one of you tell her to please help me wash my body, so I can go to the hospital." Nothing but shakes of their heads were my answer.
Huffing loudly, I push pass them to walk back into my and Mal's room. I glance around, seeing that our room was a total mess. Fuck my life, I caused all of this.
:::
"Come back in six to eight weeks, so we can check your hands recovery. Take care of yourself, and no more fighting for you." My manly woman doctor taps my red cast, dismissing me to leave. "Thank you doctor, I will for sure take care. I don't know about the fighting though." She chuckles, waving goodbye to me and Za. Alex and Ryan decided to stay in the waiting room.
We've been at the hospital since six this morning. It's now ten. Yes, I unfortunately attempted to kill my wife to be, around five o'clock this morning. On Fourth of July. I tried to talk to her back at the house, but everyone... and I mean everyone, stopped me from approaching her. I was sad about it, but that didn't stop me from trying to call her.
Which she declined, making me feel as if I was nothing at all. She must've felt something too, because she quickly shot me a quick text. It was a response to my text asking if she was alright, and that I was so sorry. All she said, was that she was fine, and it's okay.
She's for sure not fine, and it's definitely not okay.
"You you can't light any fireworks for your kids. Ryan, fucking messed your hand up... and Mal took a bite out your other one." I stare at my hands, chuckling weakling. "At least my fingers aren't broken, they're just sprained. Malarie biting my hand isn't so bad, I didn't have to get stitches. That's always a good thing, right?" He nods, as we walk into the waiting room.
Alex and Ryan exchange goodbyes with two young women, sitting next to them. Za and I continue to walk out the double doors of the hospital, while Alex and Ryan hurriedly make their way to us. We got into the car, making our way back home. I had already bought our fireworks weeks before, being early on getting good packages. Now that both of my hands are messed up, I can't popped them for my kids. I'm sure their uncles will crack them for them.
"Do you have to get pain medication from CVS?" Alex asks, entering the freeway entrance. "Nah, my doctor didn't feel them. That's exactly why I lashed out the way I did." I look out my window, yawning to myself.
The drive back home wasn't bad at all, on this Monday morning. There weren't many cars on the freeway, but I could tell later it'll be hell of a lot then. My mom had texted me, asking for us to pick up a few things for our dinner for tonight, so we happily bought the essentials for our barbecue meal. I was also warned to not talk to Malarie, but will I fucking listen? Hell no! She's mine, and I'll talk to her if I want to.
"Do y'all need my help with the bags?" I ask politely, looking at the cast on my left hand, and the ace bandage on my right. "You asshole, you can't even help yourself." Za smacks me upside my head, walking passed me.
"At least I suggested, unlike y'all rude asses. Y'all don't even help me when I go grocery shopping, but you like to eat up my damn food." I call out, walking behind them into my front door of my house.
I close and lock the doubled doors, straightaway smelling an extremely delicious aroma coming from the kitchen. Letting my nose lead the way, I finally reach the kitchen. Where I see everyone talking to one another, while my mom... and Malarie make a late breakfast. I stare at her in awe, as she prepares scrambled eggs. She finally looks up at her surroundings- she scopes the room, finally landing on me.
We make eye contact with each other, causing her to whimper scarily. I walk more closer to her, making her shiver into Cal's side. Frowning at that small move, I move to approach her. Alex grabs my arm, sitting me down in a chair. I comply, waiting for my breakfast to be served. I couldn't stop looking at her... and busted lip. Or the bruise in the middle of her forehead, do to me shoving the gun there. My huge handprints on her neck didn't make the situation better, either.
I'm a fucking monster- this is what happens when the pharmacy doesn't fill my dream suppressants. It's not even their fault, it's my own psychotic fault. I deserve to live in an asylum for the rest of my natural born life. What if Jacob, or Jasper... even Ariel has my craziness. That would literally kill me, I couldn't take it if they have this shit. I mean Jacob already has ADHD, and anger issues. God why, why would you give that to hi-
"Eat your food baby bro, you're thinking way too much." I shake my head, looking at everyone staring at me worriedly. "Oh- uh yeah, I am I guess." Gazing down at my delicious breakfast, I see a familiar hand slid my pills across the table.
"Thank you." I whisper, not daring to look up. "You're welcome." Malarie responds with hesitancy in her shaky voice. I drink some water, popping my psychiatric medications into my mouth.
"Daddy do you like your smiley face pancakes?" I nod, weakly smiling at Natasha. "Daddy why are you so sad?" Mal taps Tasha with her fork, giving her a glare.
"I'm not sad, I'm just tired." I horribly lie, hoping she doesn't asks anymore questions. "After you eat, take a long nap." I smile, looking at Mal softly munching on her bacon. Her lip, God it's so swollen.
"Uncle Ryan, Uncle Ryan, this one is for you." Jacob points his finger at Ryan, burping loudly. "Bro, you got to do better than that." My mom clears her throat, stopping Ryan's burping actions.
"Er, sorry Ms. Pattie." She nods, glancing behind her to look at the twins. "Why aren't you eating your food, Jason?" Cal points to my still full plate, turning everyone's attention to my plate. I hold both my hands up, earning surprised gasps from my small children... and Cal.
"Oh no, Prince daddy! Did that mean crazy monster get you too? The one that got mommy right on her lip, head and neck." I glance at Malarie looking down at her full plate, still trying to still eat on her piece of bacon. "I-I- who told you a crazy monster got us?" She stuffs her eggs into her mouth, pointing to Cal eating on his sausage.
"Excuse me, I'm not really hungry anymore." I push my chair out, getting up from my seat. "Oh come on Jason, don't leave." Alex shouts out. Ignoring him, I make my way up to the stairs to my and Malarie's bedroom.
Throwing myself facedown on our unmade bed, I bury my head into my pillow. I could hear loud talking coming from downstairs, meaning they were having some type of undercover argument. Probably talking about my absence from the table. Being called a 'crazy monster' after you accidentally harmed the love of your life in your sleep, it's not too pleasing to hear.
I lay in silence- looking up at the beige ceiling for a five minutes, not knowing how I will apologize to my sweetheart. I do what I do best, begin to cry silently. Feeling like a complete pussy, I hit myself in my chest with my cast... only causing me pain. Not wanting to stoop lowly of harming myself, I begin to pick up our messy room- with my two useless hands, but I do a hell of a job. I sing along to different songs that shuffles on my phone, as the day passes by.
:::
"Said it's 2 am, I-I-I want it girl. I-I-I want this girl, I know you're horny girl. I I I want it gir-" I was cut off by a light throat clearing, behind me. I halt my actions, not making any moves to turn around. "I'm not horny, so you don't know." Mal's light voice makes my heart accelerate.
I don't say a word, I just continue to organize our closest. I'm working on my side, as I just finished hers about twenty minutes ago. I hear her sigh, walking over to my dock- she turns the music off. I shift on my knees nervously, watching her walk over to me. She takes a seat right in front of me, sitting criss cross. I can really see her busted lip and bruises even closer now.
"You've been up here for hours, and I wanted to bring you lunch. I know you left out on breakfast earlier, so I wanted to make sure you get something to eat." She mumbles softly, flinching when I move to sit on my butt. "Alright, you can leave." Not meaning to sound rude, I just want her to leave so I won't feel more badly than I already do.
"Okay," She gets up to walk out our walk-in closet, walking toward the double doors. "I'm not mad at you, I'm just a little shaken up." Shaking my head, I look at my hands.
"You should be. You know, since I'm a "crazy monster" in all." Sarcasm laces my words. "I didn't tell him to call you that, I didn't even know he told the kids that." I wave her off, folding my shirts.
"So your mad at me now? I've done nothing wrong?" I ignore her, finishing up my color coding and folding of my clothes. "Why am I getting the silent treatment? What have I've done so wrong? I've taken a blow to my mouth, a chocking, and this stupid lump on my head... and all you can do is childishly ignore me. Grow the hell up!" I get up, making her scream in mock terror. She goes to run out the door- I weakly grab her wrist.
"I am just trying to get up! Fuck, I'm not going to hit your ass!" She breaks away from my hold, stumbling back into a wall. "Well you did." I ball my fist at my sides. I'm so disappointed in myself.
"I didn't know what I was doing, you know that!" I try to get my point across. "I don't care, you should've ordered your medication on time. You could've really killed me, leaving my kids motherless." Her voice cracks, still shying away against the wall.
"'My'? They're our kids, not just yours. We made them, and adopted her together. So don't sit here and think you do everything on your own, you have my help!" I raise my voice, seeing her shake nervously. "I'm so scared of you right now. I haven't been scared of you since a long time ago, now I'm reverting back!" I drop my head down low, turning back to what I was doing before. Folding my clothes.
I remorsefully watch her scurry out the room. Leaving my clear shot of her beautiful face, to be somewhere not in front of me. I just realized, our whole household witnessed our dilemma.
Nosey, paranoid freaks!
:::
Malarie's POV
After we ate a lovely dinner prepared by Pattie, me and Cal, we all popped some fireworks in the street. My other half didn't join us in dinner, though he did come out for a little while to see the fireworks. I have a feeling it was because of our children's sakes. After watching four fireworks being lit he went back inside. I could feel him watching me from one of our many of windows- he was. When I turned around, the library window shudders were moving from side to side.
"I got this Malarie, go put your four babies to bed." Pattie takes the sponge out my hand, continuing my job of cleaning off the stove. "Thanks a lot Pattie." I wipe my wet hands off on my jeans, walking into the living room.
I lift Jacob up from his comfortable position on the couch, balancing his body in my arms. I walk up the stairs, passing by my room. Not before seeing Jason pacing back and forth. Stripping my big baby boy clothes off, giving him a kiss on his forehead. I go to get Natasha, but Jason beats me to it. I take the time to scoop up our twins, seeing Jason hurriedly going to warm up their bottles.
"You two are getting kind of heavy, you know two months looks good on you both." I whisper, walking up the many stairs. "Ooh Jasper Jason, you smell like a trashcan. And you Ariel, you're so quiet." I take a hesitate seat on my spot on the bed, laying the babies in between my legs.
After changing the most stinkiest baby ever... aka Jasper, I begin to feed him. Looking down at Ariel as I coo sweet words to him. Did I not mention I'm being weirdly watched by Jason. He hasn't said a word this entire time, yet he can't take his eyes off the children.
"Why do you keep looking at them like that?" I question, not taking my eyes off our children. "I'm not looking at them?" He speaks lightly, burping.
"Then what are you looking at?" I tug on my bottom lip, wincing in pain. I forgot I had a hurt spot there. "You." Jason states, shifting a little on the bed.
"Why are you looking at me?" I burp Jasper, laying him on the bed to change Ariel's diaper. "B-because I love y-you, and I'm an asshole... and I'm really really really sorry." Facing him, I see he has dried tear stains on his face.
"I know you are." He looks up at the ceiling, crossing his bandaged and cast covered hands over his still fully clothed chest. "It was about him molesting me for the second time- the nightmare I had." I walk over to the cribs, putting our babies inside.
He tells me all about his horrible nightmare he had this morning, as I remove his clothing. He cried loudly in my arms, apologizing several times to me. Even though I am still a bit scared, I put my emotions aside, being a shoulder to cry on for my man. I love him, and he doesn't need me to be angry with him. He didn't know he was harming me, while he was dreaming of killing an already dead Cyrus.
"I need you." He sniffles into my shoulder, while I run my fingers across his back soothingly. "For?" I speak in his ear. "Ever." He whispers to me, pulling my body more closer to his.
I need him forever too.
___________________________
- Chapter 9 is now done. I hope it was okay. You got a flashback of Jason's second time being harmed by that nasty Cyrus.
- Alexis -