{Vain}
-Nine years ago-
I was not sulking.
To the odd stranger walking through the small park by the lake, it might look like the small pale boy sitting silently alone in the bushes might be sulking.
But I wasn't.
I was just... Holding still so that I wouldn't scare off the Butterflies... For purely scientific reasons...
And I had to do it alone because some people... Not thinking of anyone in particular here... Just didn't have the patience for this sort of thing...
And I wasn't jealous either.
No, I couldn't care less if someone would rather swim across a dangerous, miserable, cold lake and sit on a rock until she got bored, instead of staying with me and doing something that was... I don't know... Safe.
God forbid anyone would want to do anything safe every once and while...
Doesn't matter.
She'll do her thing, and I will do mine.
It's fine.
... And, even if I had stayed and tried to explain, she wouldn't listen.
She would stare at the bruises on my arms and look guilty and try to ask me questions and get herself involved and...
Hurt.
If I told her, she would go and get herself hurt.
Or, even more likely, I'll lose my temper and hurt her feelings... Again...
Which is why I'm here.
Not sulking.
It was only when I felt my teeth beginning to ache with the force with which I was clenching them, that I admitted to myself that it was time to stop trying to convince myself that I was calm... And actually, focus on being calm.
Forcing my body to relax, I made myself take a slow breath outwards, releasing the coil of frustration inside of me.
It came out in a deceptively calm sigh, no outwards signs of the inner turmoil showing as I sat watching the blue butterfly. The small creature sat lazily batting its wings inside the jar I held in my lap.
Though I had caught it ages ago, achieving my purpose for coming here in the first place, I still couldn't bring myself to leave the park.
....because I was... maybe... probably... sulking.
It was likely because of this that I didn't notice that the butterfly wasn't the only thing being stalked.
I never heard him approach, had no idea he was there. Not until he spoke in my ear.
"How interesting."
I yelped in terror as large hands suddenly grabbed me from behind and I was abruptly lifted into the air.
Very uncomfortably high up.
Still covered in leaves and reeling from my sudden assent, I couldn't react as my assailant carried me like a trophy, away from my bushes and across the park to where someone else was sitting behind a tree.
"Brother dearest!" The voice from behind me called. "Look what I found!"
"Put it back."
The boy behind the tree spoke flatly, not bothering to look as we drew close, sitting against the tree with his back to us.
All I could see of the new stranger was his narrow shoulder poking from behind the tree.
The person holding me seemed to wilt with the cold reception.
"But... "
"Now. Before it's mother finds it missing from the nest." The boy sighed moodily. "What's Green going to say if he catches you tormenting the wildlife again?"
The hands holding me shifted, arms wrapping around my torso and holding me against a chest, rather than above the stranger's head.
"Ahh... I think he might be a little more concerned with the fact that you're trying to sneak a ciggy..."
Sure enough, the boy behind the tree lifted the incriminating object up for us to see, along with his middle finger.
"Well excuse me, but last time I checked this was my body, to do with as I please." In a less snarky tone, he added. "Besides, it's not like it's going to kill me anyway... "
"No, but it's an expensive habit to keep when you're not even chemically affected by the things."
"Screw you. I'm legal, and I didn't pay for it or steal it so bite me." He growled back.
There was pause
"To put it delicately, Alexander, I'm not sure seducing cigarettes off an old woman to feed you pseudo-addiction is the better alternative here... "
With a groan of frustration, the boy pushed himself up from the tree. "Listen here you, I don't need your... "
The boy rounded the tree, cigarette clenched between his teeth...
And came face to face with the disapproving look of his brother...
And the child he was currently abducting.
In the sunlight, the stranger's hair proved itself to be an unnaturally vibrant red, left to fall wild about his face. Wide with shock and growing horror, the odd colour of his eyes stood out in his pale face.
One eye Green, the other blue.
For a long moment, the smoking teenager stood staring at us, unable to react as his brain crashed and he was left scrambling to reboot it.
In the awkward silence that followed, the person holding me hesitantly spoke.
"... can I keep it?"
Blue and Green eyes twitched as the other brother finally came back online.
"...seeing as kidnapping is generally frowned upon in civilized society, I'm going to have to say NO. ALAN ."
"...but I want it... "
"We've been through this. If even your pet rock dies, you don't qualify as a pet owner. "
"... My rock didn't die, you threw it out the window of a moving train..."
"It's not my fault if I firmly believe that wildlife should not remain in captivity."
"We were five Alex..."
After going through the gradual processes of shock, surprise and disbelief, I had finally lost my ability to deal with his situation.
"I hate to interrupt," I muttered furiously, feeling my eye twitch in that way it does when I'm failing to keep calm. I tilted my head back, trying to catch a glimpse at the person holding me captive.
"But I actually have better things to be doing right now, so please let go of me."
The first thing I saw was the smile.
The amused eyes that met my own.
All in the same face as the person standing before us.
Twins.
"Ah, so it does speak. I was beginning to wonder." The brother holding me murmured, watching me curiously as I glared up at him.
"Though I thought you would start crying or something. Isn't that the normal thing children do?"
My eyes narrowed in irritation.
"Would you rather it if I cried?"
"Perhaps." The boy mused, looking up at the sky. "Alex always reacts in the same way, and Olly never bites, but you..."
He looked back down at me with a cheerful smile.
"... Seem like you would be a fun one to torment."
Though I'm sure it wouldn't show on my skin, I felt myself grow pale.
I had faced bullies in the past. This was different...worse...
The same sort of person I am.
"And you accuse me of not being normal... " I murmured, scowling back coldly. "Manipulation and petty distractions. If you weren't so emotionally stunted, you'd be able to comfort your brother the traditional way, rather than resorting to such obnoxious tactics."
The Jerk's eyes widened in surprise.
I blinked.
"Just saying."
In the following silence, both brothers stared at me. When they eventually spoke, it was at once.
"...Creepy... "
"...Cool!"
I hissed in surprise as I was suddenly pressed into a bone-crushing hug.
Emphasis on the bone-crushing.
So much for scaring him off with psychology...
"... Alan, put that thing back where it came from... Or so help me... " The grumpy brother began only to cut off with a squawk when Alan shoved me towards him.
"Quick! Quick! Do Alex!"
"What!? No!" Alex yelped, actually backing away.
I sent a wary look over my shoulder at Alan.
"I'd rather not."
"I'll leave you alone if you do. "Alan promised, gaze sincere.
" Hey... "Alex said, starting to sound nervous as I slowly turned to look at him.
Thinking about it.
Face red, the moody twin crossed his arms threateningly.
"Stop pointing that thing at me, Alan! Or I'll... "
"Guilt," I announced flatly, meeting the horrified eyes of the older twin brother. "Self-loathing. Loneliness. Anyone can see that you're miserable. That you make yourself miserable by focusing on nothing but regret." I lowered my gaze to the ground.
Alan asked me to do this... Said it was cool...
What an idiot.
"No wonder your brother can't interact to you honestly. You're an emotional Vampire. Any love offered to you is returned with despair."
By the time I looked up.
Alex was gone.
The sun went behind a cloud, and just like that, the sunny park lost its warmth.
"I did what you asked," I said flatly. There was no snark.
Only numbness.
"Now put me down."
Without a word, I was lowered gently onto my feet.
I stood, not turning around. Not because I was afraid of his reaction. If he was angry or hurt or even pleased, I could deal with it.
I didn't want to look, in case he was just.... gone.
In the end, the decision was taken from me as large hands gripped my shoulder and turned me to face the remaining twin.
"Do you feel ashamed?"
I refused to look up, even as Alan crouched in front of me.
"Why would you think that?" I murmured, clutching the butterfly jar to my chest.
"You shouldn't be. "
"I Don't-" I started to snap, lifting my head to glare...
But he wasn't smiling.
"Because you were wrong." Gaze serious, the tall red-head lifted his hand to rest on my head.
"Your words have a basis of truth but are tainted with the need to inflict pain. You're only saying what you think will hurt most, a biased analysis at best."
I stared at him, too shocked to really react as his hand slid down to remove my glasses.
"Not about me...hit the nail on the head there really..." He fiddled with the glasses, not looking at me. "But the reason I picked you up wasn't just to distract Alex from him moping. I did it because I was curious."
Feeling suddenly unsure, I took a step away from the older boy.
"I don't... "
"I saw you earlier," Alan explained, lifting his gaze to mine. "Getting dragged around by that loud little ball of energy you came here with."
He smiled in a way that was somehow...implicit.
My gaze narrowed irritably.
"Her name is Maddison...and she's not that loud... "
Alan hummed thoughtfully.
"I thought love was supposed to be blind, not deaf."
I snatched my glasses back out of his hand, prompting Alan to send me a knowing smile.
Idiot.
"Did you have a point?" I asked, deceptively calm.
"I saw you catch the butterfly." His smile widened into a cheerful grin.
Effectively making him even creepier.
"Observation is something of a hobby of mine. Not much gets past these watchful eyes, except... you did. I had no idea that you were there in those bushes, not until you moved. Catching this." He pointed to the butterfly in the jar.
He placed his hand on the glass, watching the butterfly instead of me.
"You said that your friend's name was Maddison..." His smile lost some of its cheerful edge, becoming a little crooked.
"Is it a coincidence?"
I didn't say anything.
The redness in my cheeks probably spoke for itself.
"Interesting... " He murmured, lifting his knowing gaze to meet my panicking one.
"You know, you said some pretty mean things.... and made poor Alex cry." He pulled a tragic face. "Maybe I should go and complain to your little girlfriend about this..."
I forgot that he was bigger than me. That he was creepy and probably not a very nice person.
With zero hesitation, I took advantage of the fact that he was crouched at my height to grab him by the collar.
"Stay away from her."
His eyes widened with amusement, hands rising in obvious surrender.
In great contrast to his following words.
"Hmm? Or what?"
I grimaced.
"She'll eat you alive. "
I couldn't have been more serious.
That didn't stop him from laughing, though.
...a lot.
" Stop it... " I growled as he clung to me, laughing so hard he couldn't keep his balance. "I wasn't joking. "
"I know...!" He gasped. "That's why it's funny! And you didn't even try to deny that she's your girlfriend... "
"Shut up!" I snarled. Now it was me trying to pry his hands off. "You're such an idiot!"
And just like that.
He stopped laughing.
I flinched about to speak when I noticed he wasn't looking at me. His bicoloured eyes weren't focused on anything at all.
When he snapped out of it, he looked at me... Like he knew something I didn't...
Something devastating.
"Go to the lake."
He stood, yanking the butterfly jar out of my hands.
"What...?" I could get the question out as he gave me a shove.
"I'm going to get a doctor." He turned, leaving me standing there with a single word.
"Run."
I don't know why I listened to him.
Why I was afraid of what I might find.
He couldn't have known. It was impossible.
But as I stumbled to a stop, panting at the same place I had left her...
It was to the sight of the older brother, Alex, carrying a pale, limp body out of the water.
Swearing, the red-head placed the soaking wet child on the bank, lying them on their side in the recovery position.
She wasn't moving.
I had left her alone.
"... Maddison!"