How many days had it been since Brooklyn was found? Celeste wasn’t sure. Maybe it was weeks? She still couldn’t tell. Days seemed to blur together, none any different from the last. She was just going to through the motions of school, dance classes and home. The same routine as she had once been used to. A routine that was as easy as breathing at one point in her life, not all that long ago - though it felt like a lifetime. A different life. One where she was in the shadows and no one paid attention to her. Now though, everyone looked at her - stared really. Some even tried to talk to her. It was a bit strange and unnerving.
There had been no word from Nate in the time since she had seen him outside of Sam’s brothers house. She hadn’t seen him either. He hadn’t bothered coming back to school since that night. She didn’t blame him, he was most likely still trying to get over everything that happened. It did hurt like crazy every single day though. The up side to it all was that she got a call from Mr. or Mrs. Anderson every night and she got to see Jessica every day.
The morning after Brooklyn was found both Anderson parents showed up on her doorstep with tears in their eyes. They hugged her and cried, she cried with them. They thanked her over and over for bringing Brooklyn back to them. Saying that if she ever needed anything - anything at all - to let them know. They felt as if they owed her so much for something that anyone would have done if they had been in her position. To Celeste, no one owed her a thing. She would do it all again in a heart beat.
Celeste stared at herself in the mirror and sighed. The bruises left behind from Sam’s assault were steadily fading away. But the pain left behind by Nate’s obvious avoidance was what hurt the most. She missed him so much it was physically painful. She needed to see him or at the very least talk to him. But talking was out of the question since his phone had been turned off for days. She wasn’t certain how many voice messages she had left, she hadn’t gone too over board with the messages.
“You ready to head out?” Aaron asked
Looking up in the mirror she spotted him leaning against the doorjamb of her bedroom. “Yeah,”
“You’re healing up nicely” he commented
“I guess,” she shrugged
“He’ll come around”
Celeste let Aaron’s assurance go in one ear and out the other. She understood that he was just trying to make her feel better and pull her out of the rut she was now in. But, the truth was, it wouldn’t work. The twins had tried to cheer her up as well by taking her on a day trip to Phoenix that didn’t work so well either. Nothing felt right without Nate. Celeste knew that she was too young to be wallowing over the whole situation, it just couldn’t be help. She also knew that people would say that she was too young to know what true love was. But when it was real, you just knew. And what she felt for Nate was more real, more consuming than anything she had ever felt before.
Before her older brother could try another attempt at making her feel better she walked out of the room. Through this whole ordeal she didn’t one hide the bruises with makeup. What would have been the point? She wasn’t ashamed of them, didn’t want to hide them. It’s wasn’t like any one was in the dark about what happened. News had spread damn fast after that night, everyone in town now knew that Nathaniel Anderson had a child. It seemed to make him all the more endearing to the girls in school.
The drive to school was a blur as it had been lately. She didn’t stop at Danny’s like she usually did, hadn’t been there in a while if she was being honest. For a while after pulling into the school parking lot Celeste just sat in her car staring blankly at the building in front of her. She didn’t want to be there. Didnt’ want to hear what people were saying. It was wearing on her last nerve. What she would give to have Nate there beside her, telling her everything would be alright and they could get through it together.
“Hey babes,” Nina said softly as she opened the drivers side door.
Celeste sighed “Not now”
Hoisting her bag onto her shoulder she stepped out of the car, closed the door and locked it up. She didn’t bother looking to see if the girls were following her into the building. SHe already knew that they were.
“I don’t need any babysitters” she said
“We’re not trying to be.” Maddie assured
“So Aaron didn’t enlist any help from either of you? Yeah, like I’m going to believe that.”
“We just don’t like seeing you like this.” said Nina
“Just don’t,”
It took everything in her not to bolt. She couldn’t stand the look of pity that the twins wore more often than not these days. Lord knew she didn’t want or need their pity.
“I’ll see you both later,” she muttered. Praying that they wouldn’t follow her as they normally did she made a break for the school building. She just wanted a few moments to herself, just for a little while.
They didn’t.
Thank goodness.
Celeste made it into the building and to her locker without incident. It didn’t escape her notice that as she walked through the halls majority of the conversations going on stopped. She could feel everyones eyes on her as she made her way through them. She ignored it. With a sigh Celeste switched out her books and headed for homeroom. At least there she wouldn’t have to deal with all the stares and whispers for a bit.
Walking through the classroom door Celeste breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that it was empty. Making her way to the back of the class she dropped into her seat and rested her head on the cool wood. She was exhausted both physically and emotionally. Foot steps ahead had her sitting up in her seat. It was a surprise to see Jessica walking over to her with Hunter on her heels.
“Hey,” Jess greeted softly
“Hi, Jess. Hunter” she replied “What are you guys doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you but I didn’t know where to find you so I asked Hunter.” Jess answered “First though, how are you doing?”
“As good as I can be.” Celeste shrugged “How’s Brook?”
“She’s doing better. She hasn’t woken up screaming these last two nights so that’s good and she’s been asking for you.”
Celeste’s heart broke a little more. She had heard that Brooklyn had been waking up every night screaming and crying. It hurt so bad to know that the little girl was still not free of everything that happened. She hadn’t seen Brook since that night either and she missed her, so much.
“You should go and see her.” Jess said
“I’m not sure that would be a good idea. Nate and I aren’t speaking at the moment.”
“Nate hasn’t really spoken to anyone. Maybe you should come over to the house after school to see Brook and talk to Nate.”
“I don’t know.”
“Jess is right, Ce. As much as Nate wants to act like he doesn’t need anyone right now, he does. That person is you.” Hunter added
“I’ll think about it.” she conceded
Celeste didn’t lie. She would think about it. She had thought about it since the last night she had seen him. Everyday she found herself sitting her car debating on whether or not she should head over to his house. Everyday she ended up chickening out and just going home. Maybe she should go over and see him. Find out where there relationship stood. If there was a relationship left.
The hours seemed to drag on and on. The end of the day felt like an eternity away. When the final bell of the day rang Celeste walked out to her car, slowly. Her mind was yet to be made up about heading to Nate’s house. She wasn’t sure what to do. What would happen. Only one way to find out she supposed as she got into her car.
During the drive to Nate’s house Celeste wanted to turn around and head home. She was a wimp simple as that. When Nate’s house came into view she slowed to a stop in front of it and just stared. Everyone was home, that much she could tell. If she worked up enough nerve to get out of the car it shouldn’t be too awkward when she knocked on the door. If she knocked on the door. With the way she was feeling it was almost like her first time she had ever gone to the house. She still remembered how insanely nervous she had been that day.
“Just get out of the car and go knock on the door.” she muttered under her breath. “The faster you do it the faster this will all be over.”
Blowing out a slow breath she stepped out of the car and made her way to the front door. It seemed to loom over her, frightening her. What the heck did she have to be frightened about though? Nothing, thats what. Okay, so that wasn’t necessarily true. She was afraid that once she went into the house and spoke to Nate every thing was going to change.
“You’re not just going to stand on the door step all afternoon are you?”
Celeste jumped and spun around. Mrs. Anderson was standing at the bottom of the steps with a smile on her face and freshly picked flowers in her hands. “H-hi,” she whispered
“Coming in?” Mrs. Anderson asked, stepping past Celeste and opening the front door.
“Um, yeah.” she nodded
“You know, I was wondering when you’d stop by.”
“I wanted to give Nate some time.”
“That boy needs you, honey and from the looks of it, you need him too.”
Celeste tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Where’s Brooklyn?” she asked changing the subject. Nate didn’t need her. If he did he would have at least contacted her.
“She’s down for a nap right now. Nate’s in his room though, wont come out much. Why don’t you go check in on him.”
Celeste bit her lip and nodded. This needed to be done. She needed to see him, talk to him. They both needed to figure out - together - what they were going to do. Celeste knew what she wanted but she no longer knew what Nate wanted. For all she knew it was something totally different from her.
As she stood in front of his bedroom door, her hand poised to knock. She hesitated. What if he didn’t want her here? What if he told her to leave? Screw it! She thought. If that was the case he would have to wait until she said what she needed to before she walked out. Things needed to be said and they would be. She just hoped that what she had to say to him would be enough.
She knocked.
She got no response.
She opened the door.
Nate was sitting at the edge of his bed staring down at his clasped hands. He didn’t look up as she closed the door behind her.
“What are you doing here?” he asked. His voice was hollow. Emotionless.
Celeste stopped her progress farther into the room. She had never heard him sound so. . .empty. “I wanted to talk. We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Yes, there is and we both know it.”
“Just leave. There’s nothing for you here.” he said
Celeste felt the burn of tears in the back of her eyes. “Let me help you Nate, please.”
“I don’t need help.” He spat. Standing from the bed he turned and pinned her with a glare. “I don’t need help from you or anyone else.”
“Why haven’t you answered my calls?”
“There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t have time for you or this relationship”
Celeste took a step back. The words were like a slap to her face. It would have hurt less if she had actually gotten slapped.
“Nate, I love you and I just wanted to be there for you and Brooklyn.” Nate froze. It looked as if he wasn’t even breathing for a few seconds.
“I can’t do this. I have more important things to deal with right now and this relationship is not one of them.” Nate said with a shake of his head.
“So, that’s it then?” Celeste asked trying her hardest not to let the tears fall.
“What else do you want from me?” he asked
“Give me a reason to stay and I will forget everything that was just said.” she whispered
He said nothing.
In the ensuing silence Celeste heard his unspoken words loud and clear.
He didn’t love her.
Their relationship was over.
This was the end.
“Okay,” she nodded “Okay. Goodbye Nate.”
He had already turned his back on her. His arms crossed tightly over his chest as she stared out the window. With one last lingering glance his way she left the room. Left the house. Left her heart as his feet as she did so.
As soon as she was back in the car and drove a few blocks away, Celeste pulled over to the side of the road and let the tears fall. Heart wrenching sobs broke through her lips. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, as if to hold herself together. Celeste knew it was going to happen so she didn’t understand why it hurt so much.
She didn’t know how long she sat in her car crying. But before she knew it her door was being opened and someone was pulling her out of her seat. Her arms wrapped around Hunters neck, her sobs renewed. She mumbled incoherent babbling not even she understood so she knew that he wouldn’t.
“I’ll take you home.” he whispered into her hair “It’s going to be okay.”
“Put her in the back,” Jay said “I’ll sit with her.”
Celeste felt herself being settled into the back set of her car. As soon as Hunter’s arms left her, Jay’s settled around her shoulders. Her sobs had softened into whimpers though her tears continued to stream down her face. Jay whispered what was meant to be soothing words into her ears. They didn’t get past the fob that was her heart break. How were his words supposed to make her feel better when all she wanted to do was crawl into hole.
The ride back to her house felt like a blink of time. One moment she was being put into back seat of her car and the next she was being led into her house. She could hear the twins talking somewhere in the house, she didn’t bother to look around. All she wanted to do was get to her room and lay in her bed. When her bedroom door came into her view she broke away from the boys and stumbled to her bed. Kicking off her shoes, Celeste climbed onto her bed and pulled the covers over her head.
She didn’t know how long she laid there with her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms locked around them. Time ceased to matter. She could have been laying there for days, weeks even and it wouldn’t have mattered. The bed in front of and behind her dipped. In the next instant the twins arms wrapped around her, sandwiching her body between theirs. Neither of them asked her any questions and for that she was thankful. There was no way she would have been to answer any questions they may have had without breaking down again. She was barely over her last break down.
“It’s going to be alright, Ce” Maddie whispered, smoothing her hair away from her face.
“We’re going to be here for you. We’re going to help you through this.” Nina added
Celeste just nodded as another round of tears fell down her cheeks, soaking her pillow. “I just wanted to help him” she whispered “I wanted to be there for him.”
“We know sweetie.” Nina said
“I love him.”
“We know that too.”
The twins held their best friend in their arms as she cried. Both of their hearts broke for her. For someone who had already lost so much in her young life this was the final nail. This heart break that she was feeling, that she was going through was something that neither of them knew how to get her through. It had taken her years to come out of her shell after her parents died. That was all thanks to Nate. But now, because of him she was once again broken and they didn’t know how to put the pieces back together again. They would try though, no matter what, no matter how long they would do it.
~*~
The following morning Celeste found herself still wrapped up in the twins arms. Her face felt stiff and her eyes felt puffy. No doubt she had been crying in her sleep through the night. Slowly she un-tangled herself from them and walked over to the bathroom. She didn’t want to look in the mirror and see the wreak that was her face. By passing the mirror all together she turned on the shower and stripped down. The hot water felt good as it ran along her skin. She wished it would wash away the last twenty four hours, but of course that was just wishful thinking.
A half an hour later she emerged from the bathroom. Her eyes red from the crying she had done in the shower. Would she ever stop crying? She didn’t know and like every thing else it didn’t matter. The girls were still sound asleep as she crept through her room, closing the door behind her. The house was quiet but than again it usually was. Aaron was most likely down at the store. It shocked her when she turned into the kitchen and her brother was sitting at the kitchen table looking a little worse for wear. By the dark circles under his eyes he looked like he hadn’t slept a wink the night before.
“You got mail” he said nodding to a stack of envelopes on the table in front of him.
Reaching out she grabbed the stack and flipped through them. “Letters from the Colleges I applied to.” she commented
“Are you going to open them?” he asked. Boy, was she glad that he wasn’t trying to get info on what happened the day before.
With a nod she opened the first letter. It was from Columbia University in New York. She had been accepted. Every single letter she opened was an acceptance letter. All from the top schools in the nation. The moment was bittersweet. The first thing that she wanted to do was call Nate and let him know the good news but then reality crashed down on her. He wasn’t there to share in this moment. He wouldn’t be there to share in any of the other happy moments - or what should have been a happy moment. He was gone from her life and she had no idea if he was ever going to come back.