Brie and Rash
Summary: This was before Brie and Rash was brought to the hotel. Back in the supermarket where they were in their own separate food aisles and after Oscar buying them... their lives started to change
[A/N: Obviously, this was inspired from Oscar's Hotel. Yeah... I now ship a strip of bacon and cheese. Next, this is somewhat inspired from Annoying Orange. I want to practice crossover fan fictions as they seem interesting.]
Warning: No sex but there will be a few puns/word play that may ruin the way how you eat your food
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Brie and Rash were located in different sections of Daneboes Supermarket. Brie along with his friends Cheese, Gouda and Cheddar are just finishing high school to prepare for their future while Rash was one of the sole surviving bacon from the Bacon Invasion of 2012 and is now close friends with Pear and somewhat acquaintances with Orange. Both living separate lives and they were happy.
But like all food products, they have to be bought so one day, a man we all know as Oscar came to buy some food for the hotel. He has a full grocery list with names of all the products that needs to be purchased or else Octochef will be upset and angry.
"Ok... let's see what needs to be bought today..." Oscar sighed has he can imagine Octochef butchering their guest if no food is collected. It's a really, really disturbing image.
"Excuse me sir, welcome to Daneboes! Do you need any assistance?" A worker named Nerville asked as he approached Oscar.
Brie and his friends was just hanging at a strip cheese club where single slices and hanged as they find someone to get shredded with. They were having a drink as they are about to enter their next stage in life.
"So Brie, decided yet what course you want to do?" Gouda asked.
"Not really" Brie responded. "I'm still deciding. What about you guys?"
"I want to take a pilgrimage and fulfil the prophecy of being consumed!" Cheese answered. "Just waiting for that moment to be chosen!".
"I want to work in pest control" Cheddar answered.
"I want to go see the world. See the sights beyond the cheese aisle" Gouda said
Meanwhile, Rash was being annoyed with Orange's pun in the fruit cart.
"Hey Rash... getting itchy. Hahahahaha" Orange said.
"Not again" Rash said.
"Rash... got a kitchen? Because I know you got your bake - on. Hahahahaha" Orange laughed.
Rash hopped away to Pear and Midget Apple as he was getting annoyed from Orange's puns.
"Is he always this annoying?" Rash asked.
"Don't worry, you'll get used to it" Midget Apple said.
"Why are you still here? I thought you returned to the frozen meat aisle" Pear asked.
"Well, I am the last of the Rasher Bacon for this month as Apple here burnt them all and all the other bacon seemed fat or buff" Rash answered. "And the field of Turkey bacon became too loud since Thanksgiving is around the corner".
Suddenly, Oscar arrived as Nerville showed him to the last Rasher Bacon left after Oscar got 12 packs of other kinds of Bacon. Rash started to yell in order to escape but he knows there is nothing left you can do since it's the unstoppable fate of all food creatures... to be fully consumed by humans (or in this case, the mythical and fascinating creatures of Oscar's Hotel).
"Nerville, how could you?!" Pear asked. "Rash was our friend".
"What!?" Nerville freak out. "I-I-I... NOOOOOO!!!!"
On the same day, Brie was hopping home to his family of cheese. But as he was just a few rolls away, Oscar came and took Brie away from his friends. Everyone yelled but Cheese became jealous since Brie took what he always wanted to do.
Hours later, Oscar placed them in the fridge. Rash and Brie ended up falling to the farthest corners of the fridge. Both bacon and cheese woke up from being crushed and unconscious while in the far distance, they can hear the screams of the other food creatures who are about to be collected to be given to Octochef to become a meal.
"W-where are we?" Rash asked.
"Well... from what I can remember, we were in a supermarket" Brie said. "I guess this is the fridge of a human".
"Are we going to be consumed?!" Rash asked in fear.
"I don't think so since we're far off the entrance" Brie said. "I think we need to keep on going. At this rate, the humans may find us and eat us. Plus I guess a piece of bacon like you isn't used to the cold".
Brie saw Rash shivering so he picked him up and carried him on his head to the nearest mellon cave. They stayed there for the night as they got some soup to keep Rash warm. Brie was used to the coldness of the fridge since the cheese aisle was always cold but Rash was mostly at the Fruit Cart that he was climatised to the warmness of the outside.
"I'm Brie by the way" the cheese spoke. "Cheese aisle".
"Rash" the bacon strip answered. "Fruit cart".
"What is a piece of bacon doing in the Produce section?" Brie asked.
"The Rasher bacon wanted to invade the Fruits but a small apple noticed a gas leak so an old lemon drove his motorcycle to the leak and burnt all the bacon strips and a really bad grapefruit. I was the sole survivor of the Rasher Bacon that I was sent to be their prisoner but when I was then released, going home felt different since the Rasher Bacons plans for another invasion and I want no part of it".
"So you stayed with the fruits in the Fruit Cart. No wonder you're no longer used to the cold" Brie said.
Rash nodded as the small bowl of soup kept Rash warm.
"So what was your life like in the cheese aisle?" Rash asked.
"I just finished high school and apparently, this life was what my friend wanted but instead, I was chosen for the pilgrimage he always wanted" Brie answered. "I'm still deciding what I want to do".
"Well, you do know what food creatures are like, why not Foodology?" Rash said.
Brie gave it some thought and may consider it. Soon, the soup lost it's warmth and Rash began to shiver. Brie came to Rash and told him to wrap himself around him to keep warm.
"Thanks Brie" Rash said with a warm voice and drifted off to sleep.
The next day, it was the screams that woke the two food creatures up. They knew they have to keep on going or else they will be consumed. They hopped along the icy terrains. They then found another mellon cave but it was different. This mellon cave was more religious and cleaner than where they were. As they were walking, they were captured by a spaghetti noodle cage and minutes later were then approached by Brock the broccoli and Carrie the carrot.
"Who are you?" Brock asked.
"We come in peace!" Brie yelled. "We are just running away! That's all!"
"Yeah! From the humans! We need a place to hide and stay!" Rash said.
Carrie left and came back with the elder who was a tender piece of meat (He wasn't old yet). The elder inspected the two and soon destroyed the cage with his asparagus.
"These two food creatures would do!" the elder spoke. "Come... bring them in!"
The food creatures were then entered to the mellon cave and they stood in front of Carrie, Brock and the elder.
"Welcome pilgrims to the tribe! We've been waiting for creatures like you" the elder spoke. "I am Sir Loin and these two are Brock and Carrie"
"It's nice to meet you" Rash said. "But you've been waiting for us?"
"Yes... according to the prophecy, you two are part of the ingredients in order to obtain freedom" the Sir Loin spoke.
"It's been told that once we are freed, we will be sent to happiness and it will end our despair!" Brock declared.
"We've searched far and wide for cheese and bacon like you and no one surpassed the prophecy's expectations till now" Carrie said.
Brie and Rash were shown the prophecy and in the list, it showed a photo and names of their food race. It needed a rasher bacon and brie cheese for the freedom. Brie and Rash looked at each other with multiple emotions in their mind as they have no idea how to react. Sir Loin explained the whole thing and how life in the fridge is like and pleaded the two to stay.
"Um... I'm not sure yet if we can be heroes" Brie said.
"It seemed interesting thou" Rash responded. "But are we really that important?"
"We've seen many food creatures come and go and some fulfilled their destiny!" Sir Loin spoke. "Some were consumed and killed during the wait as they were about to die! We are the only ones left!"
"What about the other food creatures?" Brie asked. "The other food that came with us?"
Carrie, Brock and Sir Loin looked at each other with no clue on how to respond. The elder knows there are other food tribes out there but some of their initiation process and rituals and beliefs are more far fetched and complex on what they do.
"I'm sure there are other food tribes out there looking to rescue them" Sir Loin responded.
"But the leader of all food tribes is the ginger root who hides somewhere in the fridge" Carrie said. "She took care of the elder when he was young".
"We would like to help you... we really do but we need to really decide on this decision" Brie spoke.
"We understand" Sir Loin offered. "Why not sleep here for a while. We have a spare room just for you two".
Brock lead the two food creatures to their side of the mellon cave and as usual, they're roommates. Brock left them and Brie and Rash decided to talk about it.
"So... this offer, would you take it?" Brie asked.
"I might since I've been exposing myself to different food creatures!" Rash answered. "I mean, I've spend some amounts of my life in a fruit cart!".
"I'm still deciding about it" Brie answered. "I've just finished high school with no idea what I want to spend the rest of my life doing!".
"But do you have anyone in mind on who you want to spend it with?" Rash asked as he looked away.
Brie looked as Rash and hopped towards him. He nuzzled his head towards his slippery exterior knowing he chose someone.
"Brie... we just met" Rash smiled.
"Yeah but I've kept you warm and you didn't leave me when we were sent to this icy prison" Brie answered.
[I really... REALLY want to put some really weird food sex scene here but I have no idea how a strip of bacon and cheese have sex and I don't want to imagine it as it will just ruin breakfast for me!]
Brie woke up earlier than Rash after the night they had. Rash has his body wrapped up around Brie as they both slept. Brie gave the bacon strip a soft kiss and left the mellon cave. He saw that all the other food creatures are sleeping so it was his chance to escape. He needed to find the Ginger Root to seek guidance and it was his quest to do on his own. After a few hops away, Rash managed to catch up and called out to Brie.
"Brie.... where are you going?!" Rash asked. "Why did you leave me?"
"Rash... I'm not like you! I have no experience on how life actually worked! I was bought years before my due date and want to make sure I spend my life in the best way possible!" Brie said.
"But why didn't you leave me? Wasn't I tasty for you?" Rash cried. "I know our food race isn't compatible but we made it work! Am I not worth it?"
"No... no, no, no, no, no! It's not like that!" Brie said.
"Then what is it?!" Rash asked.
"I just want to know who I want to be!" Brie said. "I'm sorry Rash... even if you make me happy... I want to decide if I want to join their tribe! I know you want to since you have explored the supermarket before you landed here! You had amazing adventures and all I got is studying and going to a strip cheese club!"
"Then at least make me come with you!" Rash said. "I want to be with you! No matter what your decision is!"
Brie and Rash hopped all day and night, for days and weeks to find the ginger root. Many food creatures have been added and removed and the two became lost. They've been camping in multiple mellon caves, other food groups and almost fell to the food dispenser chasm. After weeks of marching, the got lost and have no idea where they are.
"Oh Ginger Root... where are you!?" Brie yelled in exhaustion.
Rash was getting used to the cold weather but still cuddled up next to Brie whenever they sleep. Rash became concerned for the cheese but didn't lose hope on him. Brie was about to crumble in despair till something emerged behind them.
It was the Ginger Root.
"I have heard your call" the ginger root said.
"Oh great root! I'm Brie and this is Rash and we came from far areas of the fridge just to seek your presence"
"I know who you two are" Ginger Root said. "And I know the nasty thing you've been doing... naughty creatures but I won't stop you! What is it you seek?"
"Miss Root... I need your wisdom and guidance" Brie spoke. "I need to know what I should do with my remaining life in the fridge. I'm too young to die but I want to see the world... learn more things".
"You cheese... so young yet thoughts of a creature who got the moulds" Ginger Root said. "There are many paths you can choose. Go to the front lines and get consumed just to fulfil your destiny as food creature, explore and start an new life in the fridge with your lover or join a food tribe and fulfil their prophecy. There are many things a young slice of cheese can do and I don't want to choose it for you. You have to choose it for yourself. Take your bacon friend right there. I can tell he has seen war and conflict yet he decided to switch sides and befriend his enemies... the fruit creatures. Rash here has seen many things in his life that he knows what he wants to do. I know you came to the fridge in such a young age but you still have a chance to find your place in the fridge".
The ginger root left and Brie was left to a decision. Rash was surprised to see that the Ginger Root was able to read him that easily but it didn't matter. Brie was still deciding what he wants to do so he faced Rash and asked him.
"So... what do you think I should do?" Brie asked.
"I don't know but whatever that is... I want to be there with you" Rash said as he kissed him.
Brie knew he can't be consumed in a young age and at the same time, he can't start a life with Rash. Well, he could but the two food creatures aren't compatible to make food babies with each other. The idea of having babies made Rash feel bad as back in Daneboes, he has left his wife with his food babies after the bacon invasion. His wife wanted a brave warrior rather than a survivor. The only option left is to join a food tribe.
So they got on an ice cube sled that was left by the Ginger Root herself and they rode back to that mellon cave and accepted their offer to become ingredients for the freedom. All that's missing now is an olive but for now, Brie and Rash had each other and they have all the time in the world before their expiry date do whatever they want in their life.
Later that night, both cheese and bacon kissed and slept together in the food cave.
"I love you Brie" Rash said.
"I love you Rash" Brie said.