Just when things were looking up is when I should have realised not to let my guard down.
"What do you mean you can't find him?" I asked, how can you lose a child?
"I thought he was with you both." my mother said, her green eyes only showing concern now that Hercules and I had returned from our walk without Noel. We were only gone for twenty minutes, what could have happened in this time.
"I checked the barn and he's not there," Cameron said, rushing into the kitchen where we were all gathered up.
"Is he with dad?" I asked, "call him and ask."
"I did, he went to the market to get stuff and he's not picking up the phone."
There was a feeling of dread filling up the inside of me as I looked at Cameron who was probably thinking the same thing I was. I still didn't want to tell my mother why we were really here, about the threat because all she would do was worry even more.
"I'm sure he's with dad. We'll have another look." I said signalling for Cameron to meet me outside.
Once the three of us were far away from mother and her hearing abilities I spoke.
"Is this Lionel?"
"Probably," Cameron said, "He's the only one still alive." before he turned to look at Hercules, "Unless you know something about it." he said.
I could feel Hercules stiffen next to me, "Why would I know something about it?"
Cameron then looked at me, confused, as his green eyes narrowed, "Why didn't you tell him?" he asked.
Now both of them were staring at me and I shifted on my feet, "Because I know the truth, she's dead. I don't know where you got your intel from Cameron, but I don't think Hercules would have met her, right?" I said looking at him.
"Meet who, neither of you are making sense right now." Hercules commented.
"I'm going to go check the barn again, you both can look elsewhere." Cameron said before rushing off in that direction.
"What is he talking about Gia?" Hercules stood in front of me, as I sighed, shrugging my shoulders.
"When we came to Damien's pack and you all were there, we wanted to know why? During that investigation we got intel that you visited Catherin, but that can't be true because she's dead. So I never bothered to ask you." I knew in my bones and heart that she was dead. There was no way you could stitch her head back on when she was in wolf form and expect her to life.
There was just no way.
But the way Hercules was staring at me started giving me doubts "Did you...meet her?" I asked. I couldn't even phantom how that was possible if he said yes, but thankfully he shook his head.
"I have no idea what you are talking about. I didn't visit her, she's dead. Who gave you this intel?" he asked.
I shrugged, "I'm not sure Cameron got it from somewhere. I didn't bother asking you because I thought you would most likely tell me if you did...or maybe not I'm not sure she is your cousin's mate after all. I didn't want to risk asking you and having you lie to me to protect Caine."
Hercules reached for my arms, holding them till I met his intense gaze, "I would never lie to you Gia, you come first, everytime." he said, "Except now, let's go find Noel."
There were more important things than trying to figure out where the incorrect intel came from, why would someone send that through to Cameron and me?
"Cameron is checking the barns, is there anywhere else Noel likes to hide or play?" Hercules asked.
"No," I said shrugging, the truth was I didn't know that much. Ever since he was born I tried keeping my distance from this family, so I could bring him no harm. I had no idea what he liked, what he disliked, where he liked to play or anything.
This was the first time in the moment of a critical emergency my mind just wasn't functioning. My stomach was in knots, my head was a mess and I felt jittery all over. All I could think about was that I might fail the promise I gave her.
And if I failed that one promise, I didn't deserve to live.
"Promise me something," sometimes I wondered why good things happened to bad people, and bad people happen to good people.
My eyes avoided hers, instead they focused on the beeping machine, with each beep it was slowing down. And I knew exactly what it meant.
"Illa, promise me."
"I don't want to." I said.
I could hear a faint cry in the distance, it was awake, I mean, the baby was awake. Would the baby know that it's-his, his mother was dying in this room."
"Come on Illa, you'll grow to like him."
This time I turned to see her face, meeting her eyes as she stared at me, half smiling, "It's not that hard."
"His grandparents can look after him."
"I want you to look after him," Her voice was softer, it was nearly time, "I want you to be his godmother."
"Don't do this." I shut my eyes. How can I take care of him when I knew every day that I was probably the reason his parents had died. The reason his dad was dead, the reason his mum stood no change giving birth to a wolf without her mate helping her.
One day that kid was going to grow up to hate me, when he was old enough to find out the truth. I couldn't lie to him all his life, I couldn't hide the fact that I was the one who made him turn out to be an orphan.
"Promise me."
Why was this so cruel, was this her way to torture me for the rest of my life, as revenge for her husband. So everytime I could look into the baby's eyes all I saw was my brother?
"Fine." I opened my eyes
"Fine?" She smiled, "You mean you would love the honour to be his godmother, isn't that right?" The beeps were getting further and further apart. Even during a time like this, she was smiling.
"Yes."
"Is that a 100 percent yes Illa?"
"Yes." I nodded, this time more sincere.
And knowing that he was in good hands, his mother closed his eyes for the last time.
"Gia," Hercules looked at me concerned, bringing me back from my painful memories, "Are you okay?" he asked.
I shrugged and started to walk, "Where would they take him? Why haven't we heard anything yet?" I asked.
"Is there any part of this land that has good hiding spots?" Hercules asked.
"No, it's just farm land," I said confused.
"They wouldn't go out of the territory as that might be another pack land, they wouldn't risk going there unannounced so at least we can narrow it down to here." Hercules said, stopping as he looked around. His wolf sight was far more heightened than mine.
"Talk me through your property."
"There's not much, the house, the barn where the pigs are. Cameron is there so he'll let us know. Then you have the apple orchard and grape vineyard and that goes down for 10 acres and it hits the main road."
"We would have heard something, what about this side," Hercules said pointing out to hills of greenland.
"Sheep and cows, again they all go towards the main town there aren't any hiding spots there. This side here is the barn, house, and flowers. There's no hiding spots there either."
"What about this way?" Hercules said, turning around.
"Nothing, that's the way we came, it's three kilometres of grass and you get to the beach which is public."
Hercules pursed his lips, deep in thought, I watched him close his eyes and I just wished my wolf could smell him out for me, but I could barely feel her presence.
"Beach." Hercules said opening his eyes, "Beaches have caves, hiding spots."
"You think he's there?" I asked.
"It's our best shot." he said rushing towards the car.
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