BLAKE
So everyone knows the expression 'fight or flight' right? Well what happens when 'flight' doesn't even seem humanly possible for the situation?
Well if that happens, then you replace 'flight' with something else. For me, that something else was 'die'.
So now I stand here, thinking to myself, how this is a 'fight or die' situation.
And I know that I would die for it.
That's what love does to you. You'll die for that person. That person for me, just happens to be Casey McClinton.
Now, this may not seem like the typical situation for that saying, but to me, it makes no difference.
I guess you're probably wondering why I'm blabbing on and not telling you the story, so I might as well start.
But first, (yea I know get to the story already) this is all over the span of one day. And here it goes........
"Happy New Years Eve baby" I whisper into Casey's ear.
But she doesn't respond, she doesn't wake up. I feel scarred. My blood runs cold as I tap her shoulder and she limply rolls to her back.
Her skin is pale, her lips are blue.
God no! Please don't let this be happening. I just got this beautiful creature put back into my life, don't take her away from me now.
Is she breathing? Please be breathing!
I lean my head down slowly and put my ear close to her nose and my palm on her chest.
Shallow breathing. Slow heartbeat.
Without thinking, I grab my phone from the night stand and 9-1-1 makes its way to the dial pad.
"Help is on the way, please stay on the line until the paramedics arrive."
My phone drops from my hand to the pillow and I weakly press the speaker button.
Time goes by in slow motion as I hold Casey's unresponsive, and clod body close to me.
Wetness falls from my eyes as I gather her in my arms, along with my phone, and go downstairs to wait for the paramedics.
Time goes even slower as I listen to the 9-1-1 operator speaking to me.
"Sir just make sure her breathing continues."
I do as I'm told.
Everything immediately becomes a haze as I hear faint sirens from outside.
I remain on my knees in the side of Casey who lies on the floor.
I hear nothing, everything happens slowly as I try to comprehend what's happening.
The front door flys open and 3 men run into the room and to where Casey lays on her back. She looks so lifeless.
I step back and let the men get to work.
I follow as the wheel Casey on a stretcher out to the ambulance.
I'm running but it seems like I'm going slower than a turtle.
I climb into the ambulance and the doors shut as we head for the hospital.
My hand finds it ways to Casey's and I hold it close to my lips.
Her hands are cold.
Her body's cold.
She's.....no! She's not Blake she's not!
The voice inside my head repeats this and I try to think that it's right.
We get to the hospital.
I run along side the stretcher as they wheel her in through the hospital doors.
But this is as far as I go.
I fall to my knees. The tears fall, not scarred to show themselves anymore.
I watch as Casey is wheeled through the doors and I am no longer able to see her.
I watch as the biggest part of me is taken away.
I feel a part of me die.
*********************************
Four hours.
I've been in this damn waiting room for four hours.
There's no doctor to tell me what's happening. There's no family here for Casey.
They were called, but they're not here.
How can you know that your daughter is in the hospital, and not come to make sure she's okay?
It's sickening to think some people are like that.
"Are you family of Cassandra McClinton?"
Oh my god finally!
"No" I reply standing up from my seat, "her family isn't here, I'm a very close friend. I was the one who came with her to the hospital."
"Very well," she says back and motions for me to follow her, "I'll take you to see her now, follow me."
I do as I'm told and after walking for a while we round our final corner.
"She in that room there." She says pointing to the room that contains Casey.
"Thank you" I weakly say as my hand finds its way to the door nob.
You can do this.
No I can't.
Just open the door it's going to be alright.
But what if it's not? What if she doesn't wake up. What if she-
Stop! Do not even think that!
But what if it's true...
It's not true!
I hope not.
Go be with that girl.
She not just 'that girl'.
She's your girl.
She's MY girl.
Yes she is.
And I love her more than anything.
Then open the damn door and go see the girl you love.
And with that I open the door.
I walk in quietly.
The door shuts behind me and I lean against it.
I don't know if I can actually go in further and see her.
Dude, I just gave you an intense pep talk and your back to thinking this way!
I mentally groan.
Before I know it, my feet have made their way to Casey's hospital bed.
I stare down at her beautiful face. She's still pale. She has an IV in her arm and a heart monitor hooked to her.
I pull a chair from the wall and put it next to Casey's bed.
I sit down and grab her hand in to both of mine and squeeze it tightly.
I don't know what's wrong, but I do know that I don't ever want to let her go. She means everything to me.
Now remember how I said there was a strange situation for 'fight or die'.
Well this happens to be that situation.
"Casey," I say bring her hand up to my lips and kissing her knuckles.
"I know you can't hear me baby, but I need to talk to you. I hope you know that I love you more than anything in this whole world.
I realize that I only told you this a couple days ago, but I've felt this way for so many years.
No matter how much it hurts me to say this, I don't know if you're going to be okay.
But Casey, I want you to know, that I wish this wasn't you in this situation.
I hope that you make it through this Casey.
With you Casey, I'd fight or die.
If we had problems, I'd fight for you, I'd fight for us.
If something happens to you, I'd rather die then go on with you.
I love you Casey, more than I love myself. You have to make it past this Casey please!"
I can't continue because the words become mush in my mouth as I a salty wet tear slips from my eyes.
Only the girl I love can make me feel this way.