"Well?" Marko said after a few seconds. "Who's the mystery chick?"
I snapped my head up, a stupid smile still plastered on my lips. Upon reading the note, I'd barely resisted the urge to chuckle. Though a small part of me did think that what she'd written was slightly cryptic, for the most part I'd found her message to be amusing and quirky.
You won't understand this now, but know that I wasn't insane.
I'm going to help you remember, hopefully then you'll feel the same.
L Y L A , those are the letters that make up my name.
"Lyla," I said as I re-read her poem. "Her name is Lyla."
"Oh," Dan said surprised; clearly he'd been expecting someone else. "I don't think I know her."
"Definitely not a name I've heard," Marko added as he tried to reach over and pluck the note from my hand. "Sage, lemme' see that."
"I know how to read," I said defensively. Immediately I pulled it out of his reach and re-folded it. "It says Lyla." Well, more or less. I figured she'd written her name like that so it wouldn't clash with the rhythm of the poem or something. "Anyway, why is it that you guys looked so worried? Who did you think it was?"
When it seemed like no one would answer, Dan sighed and said, "I don't know, maybe Ava if she somehow managed to get away from Finn and Biff. Or perhaps someone even worse. The point is that I don't like leaving you unguarded, okay? Something could've happened."
"But nothing did," I reassured him. "Crisis averted. I mean, look around; if Lyla wanted to kill me she could've done it easily. There are plenty of pointy syringes that are ideal for stabbing."
"Not funny," Dan said wryly. I could tell he was trying to stay mad, but was having trouble keeping up the facade.
"Also there are ear-swabs and tongue depressors," Wayne added cheerfully. "Good for optimum poke-age. Which, while it wouldn't kill, could be very annoying."
"Not to mention these," Felix added, holding up a glass jar and saying in his best eerie tone. "Sinister cotton balls."
I couldn't help but laugh, and at that the mood in the room seemed to immediately lift. After asking a few more questions about my visitor, of which I could only answer few since I knew little myself, the subject of Lyla was momentarily dropped.
Eventually Wayne and Felix left to go find out what had happened with Ava, and shortly after they were followed by Jude and Marko who had their own jobs to get to. I didn't mind being left with Dan though, in fact I enjoyed it. While I knew that this past year we'd obviously been living in the same faction, I still felt the undeniable need to catch up on time lost.
"You're looking good," Dan noted as he turned from my monitors to study my expression.
"Not lookin' bad yourself," I grinned back. "Dude, have you been lifting?"
"I have, but that's beside the point, you know I'm naturally good looking." He looked like he was about to playfully punch me, but at the last instant he dropped his hand. "I'm talking about your stats though, the readings are all great."
"Cut's practically non-existent," I added in wonder. "I'll never be able to thank Banks enough."
"Hmm," was all Dan could say to my last statement. Unlike before though, he didn't appear as irritated at the mention of his name. "Speaking of Banks," he reached into his pocket and produced a capped syringe.
"What is that?" The liquid was slightly murky and brown, and instinctively I wrinkled my nose and attempted to edge away. "It looks like dirty water."
"Technically, I couldn't really tell you. Banks said a bunch of mumbo jumbo, science-y stuff and I sort of got distracted," Dan admitted. "But the main phrase that he kept using was that it was for mental clarity." He shrugged. "Said it was perfectly safe. He even gave me a shot."
"You?" I frowned. "Why would you need it? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, actually, I feel fantastic," he said sincerely. "It's no secret that Banks and I haven't been on the best of terms, so as a display of peace he offered it to me as a way to show that it would be harmless."
"Why would he feel like he had to prove that to you?" I asked, trying to form a picture of how the two would've acted around each other.
"Well," he said hesitantly, giving me a guilty smile. "I may or may not have accused him of trying to drug you." I gaped, but Dan quickly continued. "I know I was wrong though, because after he gave me the shot I didn't really feel any ill side effects."
"What did you feel then?" I asked, finding myself worried even though Dan appeared unruffled.
"It's hard to explain. Before he gave it to me I had a lot on my mind, so my thoughts felt like a tangled and indecipherable mess. However, minutes after the injection I realized that I was able to prioritize things better. It was like I could suddenly see how stupid it was to worry about stuff that was trivial and out of my control." He shrugged. "I guess the best way to describe it would be like when you're really tired, and then you pop an energy drink and suddenly feel awake."
"That's interesting," I said slowly. Dan must've heard my uncertainty because he cocked his head and gave me a sympathetic look.
"Sage, trust me, if I had any doubts about the serum I wouldn't have even bothered bringing it to you," he said. "Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like it might even be able to help with your amnesia."
He had a point. With a sigh, I nodded at the many tubes that were still connected to my arms. "Okay, I trust you. Take your pick."
He grinned, and then proceeded to inject the medication through one of the ports of my main IV. Then I waited, and waited, and for good measure waited some more. Nothing happened though.
"You feeling it yet?" Dan asked.
"Nope, nothing. You sure you didn't just give me dirty water?" I joked.
"Maybe if you close your eyes?" he offered. "Just relax and let it happen."
I nodded and then tried to channel a Zen-like sort of attitude. When that didn't work, I changed tactics and tried to picture myself in what I liked to call, my quiet place. I thought I might be feeling the beginnings of something when the swish of a door and the thump of feet startled me.
Who's interrupting me in my quiet place? I wondered, feeling slightly peeved.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes," a voice purred.
"Jade," I said, recognizing the girl as soon as I opened my eyes. "Hey."
"You remembered me," she said approvingly, flicking a hand through her wild blonde hair. "That's a good sign."
"What brings you around?" I asked.
"You, of course," she replied, giving me a quick wink. "I brought some stuff." From a bag she had slung over her shoulder she pulled out a disposable razor, a small bar of soap, and a towel. "You look worse for wear."
"You don't say," I laughed, actually feeling happy to have some brutal honesty thrown my way. "Now, Jade, tell me how you really feel."
"I'm just saying a trim wouldn't hurt," she replied. "And really, I'm not trying to be rude; I just say what others are thinking."
"Don't tell me," I said, already knowing what she'd reply. "You're a candor transfer, right?"
"Yeah, just like you. It's easy to recognize our own kind, huh?" she smiled back. "Even though we transferred, some things tend to stick."
I nodded in agreement, and then placed the supplies she'd brought on the table near me. Though I knew it probably had to do with the fact that I still identified myself as candor, it was actually reassuring to have someone like Jade around. I didn't have to worry; she'd tell me what she was thinking, even if I didn't ask.
Out of my peripheral vision I saw Dan glance at his watch and then groan as he began to head towards the door.
"I'll be back in a few," he said. "Jade, can you keep him company?"
"Sure," she replied breezily. "It'll be my pleasure."
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"I almost forgot I had a client scheduled for a tattoo today," he explained. "They set up the appointment weeks in advance. I already had a bunch of time off too, and I don't want Tori to think I'm not taking my job seriously."
"Say no more," I said as I held up a hand to interrupt his explanation. "I totally get it. It's okay, like I said I'm perfectly safe."
Dan smiled, looking relieved, and then jogged out of the room. I stared after him, eager to be out of this bed to explore the compound as well. I was a man of action, not the kind to just lie around and wait to see what would happen.
"He's one of the best you know," Jade said matter-of-factly. "Really in demand. When he took time off to watch over you, it didn't matter, people kept adding their names to his waiting list."
"He always did like his art class best," I said, remembering how even during other lectures he would always doodle on the edges of his notes. It was as I remembered school that a thought occurred to me; I had seen Jade before. "We knew each other, right?"
"You were an instructor during my initiation."
"I meant back in our old faction," I clarified. "Did we know each other then? I'm sorry, but it's not just dauntless, some of my memories of life back in candor are missing too. I don't even remember taking my aptitude test."
"Wow, that's farther back than I thought," she gawked, her eyes wide. "Yeah, I used to be Vera's best friend," she said offhandedly, quickly returning to the subject of her interest. "So, you don't even remember getting your aptitude results?"
"No, but if I'm here then obviously I got dauntless, right? I mean, why would I pick a different faction if I wasn't assigned to it. That would be dishonest to my inner nature," I explained, thinking that my answer was pretty straightforward. "How's Vera doing anyway? I know she transferred to dauntless too, but I haven't seen her since I've woken up."
"Yeah, I guess you must've gotten dauntless." Jade nodded as she carefully nudged my leg and made space so that she was able to perch herself next to me. "I don't know how Vera's doing, honestly we haven't really spoken to each other in a while."
"Why?" I asked, noticing her brittle undertone.
"Things changed when we got here. Mistakes were made. A distance was created, and it's one that neither she nor I feel like crossing," she replied, her eyes filled with obvious contempt. "It's mutual, trust me. She wants to see me just as much as I want to see her, which is not at all."
"Ouch," I winced. "What exactly went down?"
"I guess you could say it started with a guy, then blah blah blah, and in the end we couldn't stand each other," she sighed, absently playing with the many rings on her fingers. "Nothing worth retelling."
I was about to call her out for being cryptic, when I remembered the obvious. She'd been candor, past tense, and like me she was probably still learning to reign in her outspokenness. She wasn't in the wrong, If anything I should've been the one trying to emulate her; I was still acting as if I were back home, free to speak my mind in its entirety.
"You don't have to say more," I said apologetically. "Sorry for snooping."
"It's not a big deal," she shrugged. "And I don't mind talking about it if you truly want to know more."
I was about to shake my head when I realized that there were many other things I could find out. I was tired of being shielded from the facts, but with Jade here I felt that I'd finally be able to get some solid answers.
"No, but I'd like to ask you some other things if that's okay with you," I said, trying not to seem overeager.
"By stuff, you mean Ally, right?" Jade said knowingly. "I can imagine that Dan's been trying to avoid even the mention of her name around you."
"Yeah," I sighed. "I know he's just worried, but it's driving me crazy to not know the whole story."
"Well, maybe I can help with that," Jade grinned conspiratorially, and began to speak in a slightly quieter tone. "Tell me what you know so far, then I can fill you in on the rest."
"Her name is Ally, she came from amity, she was ranked first," I said as I began to list off what little I knew on my fingers. "She stabbed me during a fight in the Cage, people said she looked completely bloodthirsty and..." I trailed off, furrowing my brow as I tried to think of something else. "And I guess that's it."
"Not much," she noted. "Okay, well you're right about the amity thing. Because of our last names, she actually went after me during the choosing ceremony. I remember, because she stumbled on her way up to the podium. All those long amity skirts, you know? Super inconvenient."
"I guess," I shrugged, not at all interested in the fashion lesson I was getting. "What else?"
"Right, so the thing is that Ally and I have never really gotten along. I mean, she was amity, I was candor, naturally I didn't want anything to do with her. That faction is full of sly and deceitful people, always trying to trick you with their innocent lamb eyes, but you just can't trust them," she wrinkled her nose. "Anyway, what I can tell you is this; almost as soon as we arrived here, Ally was quick to make ties with the people that mattered."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that she was fucking smart, she knew how to play her cards to get into the inner circle of the dauntless born. She wasn't just ambitious, she was also clever, I'll give her that. Right off the bat she didn't hang around with the transfers, since obviously we weren't worthy; only dauntless born. And if she wasn't trailing behind Iris, then she was draped over her new boy-toy."
"Boy-toy," I repeated. Already I wasn't liking the beginning of this story. Though I knew I had to take into account the fact that Jade probably wouldn't speak nicely of someone from an ex-rival faction, it still didn't hide the fact that it sounded like Ally was into the business of using people. "Who?"
"Zane, one of your old students. I always used to see them together," she replied. "It was a surprise when they broke up. Zane later told the rest of us that she used him so he'd teach her how to fight. Then, when she was done with him, she tossed him out like last week's trash. He said she had her sights on bigger fish."
"He said that?"
"Those were his exact words," she nodded. "I'm just relaying what he said."
"Poor guy," I said, shaking my head as I wondered who the next sap had been to fall under her spell. "Who was the big fish?"
Jade grinned in amusement, raising a brow as if that were an answer in itself. "You."
"Get out," I said, unable and unwilling to believe her. Not me; I refused to believe Ally had managed to wrap me around her little finger. "No, you've got to be kidding me."
"I shit you not. Sage, you were the freaking shark she was after." Pausing to glance at the door, Jade continued in a hurried manner. "This is where things get complicated. You see, when stage one of initiation was over, Ally had managed to raise her rank enough that she was in the safe zone. Just safe though, not at the top, which meant not good enough. Do you follow?"
I had the sickening feeling that I did follow. However, I found myself saying, "Explain."
"This is what I've heard," she said, putting an emphasis on the last word and leaning closer. "Ally wanted to eventually be in a position of power, to be a dauntless leader. However, everyone knows that to even be considered, you have to be ranked as number one in your initiation class. With her scores only considered average in stage one, she would've had to make up for it during stage two and three."
"Stage two, that's where you face your fears," I said, remembering that Dan had previously mentioned it. "And three is the fear landscapes."
Jade smiled grimly and nodded. "And who do you think was in charge of administering those tests?"
"Wait," I said firmly, my head pounding with a sudden lash of anger. I didn't want this to be true, I didn't want to accept that I'd been a pawn in her games. "Dan said that the dauntless born and transfers were kept separate. Wouldn't that mean that Banks was the one to admin–"
"Nope," Jade broke in, cutting away all of my hope. "You took over for all of stage two, and most of three. You missed the final test because you were here, in a coma, fighting for your life."
"This doesn't make sense," I said obstinately. "Why would she go through all the trouble to get me on her side, only to turn around and stab me."
"I have my own theory, but this is what people are saying," she confided, "It all goes back to you. See, Banks is currently the youngest dauntless leader, but it wasn't always going to be that way. Originally Max had head-hunted you for the position, considering you the optimum candidate."
"Why did I refuse?"
"Not sure," she shrugged, "but word is that you were rethinking your choice this year; that you were actually going to accept his offer. Max always liked you, so no one doubted he'd give you the position, even if it meant retiring one of the older leaders."
"And by retire you mean kick out to live with the factionless, right?" I said sourly. How had I become like this? Someone, that sounded and acted just as ambitious as Ally? "That's sick."
"It's the way things are," Jade shrugged again, easily returning to her story. "Okay, so upon hearing that you might be the one to take the spot she'd coveted since she transferred here, Ally managed to find a sponsor to get her into the Lockdown fight that you were scheduled to be in. There she feigned temporary insanity and stabbed you to get you out of the way. She knew that even if there were witnesses, no one would ever rat her out because it's a Lockdown rule."
"No," I said numbly, the corners of my vision blurring with spots of white. I was beyond angry. I'd been used and discarded, just like Zane; another name in a long list of others.
"With you out of the way, she would've been next in line for leadership. After all, with your help, she was ranked number one during stage two and three of initiation. Unless she totally bombed her final test, there was no way she'd have failed."
"But," I protested weakly. "How could she have tricked me?"
"The truth can be subjective when spoken by the wrong person," Jade sighed. "She probably worded everything she said just right, so that she was never caught in a lie. Remember what they taught us back home, Sage, the amity are liars."
I sat in stony silence for a long time, all the meanwhile Jade staying equally quiet. My blood was boiling, my hands clenching and unclenching of their own accord. If I ever laid eyes on Ally, well... she'd better pray I never did. I couldn't be sure of my own actions. If I had to look into the face of my killer, would I be able to show any amount of restraint?
"What was your theory?"
"Huh?" Jade replied, blinking in confusion.
"The things you told me were technically all here-say, stuff you'd heard from people in the compound," I shifted so that I was looking directly into her eyes; I wanted to be able to read her every move. "But you said you had a theory of your own, what was it?"
Jade seemed to sense that this was a critical point in our conversation, because suddenly she was equally straight faced, cold even. She spoke in words that were so cutting, they left no room for doubt.
"I think she's mad. Stark, raving mad."