I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe some sick freak burnt down my work, I just could not believe someone could do something so awful to me.
I had visited the place I loved a week ago, completely gone, everything had been cleared out and cleaned up, I honestly had gone into a funk, I barely even left our apartment, Alex was reluctant to go back to work, he didn't want to leave me but like I told him, I didn't have a job to go too, he did and I didn't want him to stop working just because I was upset.
Everything in the building was gone, absolutely everything.
So to say I was devastated was a pretty good word right now.
The police were investigating or so they told me, I actually had to go into the police station and they questioned me like I was a suspect and accused me of doing it for the insurance money, Alex almost got thrown in jail for grabbing the cop by his collar and pushing him hard in to the wall, it was only lucky that the sergeant was a good friend of Alex's and was at our wedding.
Also another thing that had gotten me slightly down was Jamie's death anniversary, he died 3 years ago tomorrow, Emma knew about it but I hadn't told Alex yet, I didn't know how to bring it up to him without hurting his feelings.
It wasn't like I was still in love with him, I was well and truly over him but his death still got to me, each year I had gone to the cemetery and placed yellow daffodils over his grave, they were they flowers he had always brought me each week, all on random days so I didn't know when to expect them. It just seemed appropriate to do that for him, to let him know I still cared and thought about him even though he lost his battle with cancer.
I had a text from Alex when I picked my phone up to see if anyone had called, I was hoping maybe the police had left a message but obviously not, come have lunch with me at 1?
I suppose I should, I mean I was being lazy as hell around the house and all the cleaning had been done alright xx. I replied to him.
I had a quick shower and knocked on Emma's bedroom door, she was just as depressed as I was “hey I'm going to have lunch with Alex”
“ok, have a good time” she looked up from her pillow then laid back down.
I closed her door back up and made my way to the hospital, the fresh air hitting my face as I walked to the entrance doors.
Alex was waiting for me at the bottom steps, an elder lady was giving him a hug and kept thanking him over and over again, his surgery he had this morning must have gone really well.
“hey” I spoke once he was free from the little old lady.
“didn't think you'd actually show” he took hold of my hand leading us towards the cafeteria.
“nothing else to do” I muttered hoping he didn't hear me.
Unfortunately he did and just gave me a weak smile and head shake.
“how's your morning been?” he asked as we took a seat.
“same as yesterday, I don't know what to do Alex”
“well why don't we buy another building and you can re build” he had a point, I mean it wasn't as if I hadn't thought of doing that, it was just going to cost a lot and would take sometime to get it up and running.
“I'm serious Lilly”
“I know you are, I just don't know right now, I'm tired and depressed, just let me be like this for a bit” I asked, I wanted to wallow about in self pity for a little while longer.
“you ok?” he asked quietly
“Alex I'm out of a job, I have no income coming in and I stay at home all day, I'm not ok but I'm getting there, sorry for being like this” I reached across the table and placed my hand over his.
He took his other hand and placed in over mine “don't worry about money, like I said last week we can afford for you to never work again, we have enough money to buy another building so don't worry about that either, but I would like to look at buying a house soon”
“maybe I can look through some more houses when I get home then” I stated and he lent over giving me a kiss.
“Alex I need to tell you something” I started but a hand on my shoulder made me jump slightly, it was only Josh but he still scared the crap out of me “don't do that you tool” I hissed punching his stomach.
“bitch” he cursed letting out a fake cough, yeah my brother was real mature.
“so Lilly what's going on?”
“just having lunch with my hot husband” I answered taking my hand back and stealing a handful of Alex's chips, he didn't say anything, he just reached and took my coke and took a large sip then placed it back, best thing was that neither of us minded if we had to share food with each other.
“what did you want to tell me?” Alex asked
“it's nothing” I lied. I would have to tell him later tonight when he came home.
“I missed your surgery, how did you manage to do the transplant if the donors one was doa?” Josh asked and I zoned out to that conversation, I didn't want to listen to those gory details, especially when I was eating food.
When I was done with eating I sat and listened to the boys, they were talking about houses and then moved onto cars and then Josh started talking about how he screwed one of the new interns, that was when I stopped listening again.
“I'm going to head back home” I interrupted there conversation.
Alex stood abruptly “already? You only just got here”
“Alex it's almost 2, you've been to busy talking about Josh's latest fucks to notice” I stood up slightly annoyed, I didn't want to get into an argument with him but heck the man could have noticed I was here a bit better.
“I'll walk you out” he grabbed my hand pulling me with him “sorry” he muttered quietly “I didn't mean to leave you out”
“It's fine, don't worry about it” I smiled reassuringly.
He had walked me to the car and kissed me goodbye, telling me he loved me and that he would try get off earlier so we could go out to dinner and go catch a movie together, have a date night, which to be honest sounds like a perfect idea.
I went home and scanned though the buildings for sale, seeing if there was anything worth looking at if I decided to go ahead and re build what I lost, if I decided to do it. I will admit there was a couple alright places so I bookmarked them and looked at some houses, Alex and I were getting desperate to move.
The apartment door closed and I started getting excited Alex has actually knocked off work early to have a date with me.
“your home” I smiled as he walked in the bedroom.
Unfortunately he didn't return my smile, he wasn't happy and it was a dead give away by the way his chest was rising up and down heavily “when was you going to tell me?” he spoke, his voice was deathly low and serious.
He was really mad and I had never seen him angry before, never had I been to a point of afraid of him like I was now.
I closed the laptop and got up off our bed walking to him about to open my mouth but he stopped me from speaking “don't fucking talk to me, is it true?”
“is what true” I whispered out, tempting to talk even though I was told not too.
“Jamie are you going to his grave tomorrow, is this the reason you've been a fucking depressed mess?” his voice boomed, the people above and below would definitely be able to hear this fight “your not going Lilly”
I felt anger filling my veins “you don't control me Alex”
“go to that grave tomorrow and we are done” he gritted through a clenched jaw.
“fuck off Alex, you know how I feel about him and about you but if you going to be like this then just piss off and leave, go to Jane and fuck her” I shouted throwing a pillow at him as tears spilled down my cheeks.
“you know what maybe I will go fuck her, at least she's not a lying bitch” he spat as he walked out, slamming the door shut and leaving the apartment, leaving me to fall to the floor sobbing as I felt my heart tearing to pieces, would he really sleep with her? Was the question burning in my mind.