Storming out of the huge dining room and leaving an arrogant Mei and a confused Maria behind I headed for the stairs, decided on confronting the bastard that was Gabriel Shaffer on the matter at hand. He had no fucking right to make me his damn property. Especially not behind my back, the fucking bastard.
From the top of the stairs I could see Mathew being posted in front of the office' door, the look on his face, a frightening one. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, I willed my feet to take me there, stopping right in front of Gabe's wingman and raising defiant eyes at him.
"I need to see him." I said, my hand automatically reaching for the knob just to be pushed away by the mountain of a man standing in front of me. "Mathew, I said I need to see your boss. Now let me pass." He slowly shook his head, refusing to budge from his spot.
"I'm sorry, judge, but not even you can go in there right now. He's not alone." I hoped to God that 'not alone' didn't mean that he was with another woman in there. That would've been too much and I was afraid for my already frail nerves not to snap.
"I'm sure that he'll see me, Mathew. What I have to say to him is really important." His face remained impassive, his arms folding over his chest.
"And I'm sure he won't see you at the moment. In fact, he can't see anyone at the moment since he's in the middle of a meeting and therefore not alone in the office. You can't just barge in there." He said, keeping a perfectly calm tone of voice. I have no idea if what happened next was only a coincidence or the fate finally deciding it was the time to lend me a hand, but I could only be thankful for it. Angelique -Mathew's fiance- appeared in the hallway, heading for us and that was all it took for the huge man to get distracted. Knowing too damn well that it was my only chance to see Gabriel, I pushed past him and through the door he was guarding, entering the office and interrupting the man currently speaking mid-sentence.
All eyes turned to me, Gabriel's shocked hazels getting my entire attention. Seemingly keeping his composure and without breaking eye contact, he addressed the other people in the room.
"Gentlemen, I'm afraid the meeting is suspended for now. I'll have to ask you to excuse us for a moment. Mathew will take you downstairs where you can have a coffee or something to eat. I'll see you again in half an hour." Without making a sound, the men started heading out, Mathew waiting by the door for them, his eyes throwing daggers at me.
Waiting for all of them to exit, I could feel my barely contained fury bubbling up to the surface. The fact that Gabriel was watching me carefully, probably trying to understand my behavior and the innocent look on his face while doing so were of no help to me. If anything, he was making me want to jump at his throat and apply him the same treatment his protege had applied me the night of the ball. Don't get me wrong though. What I felt was not only furry -it was pain and anger and even a little bit of fear for what his reaction to what I had to say would be. Slowly letting out the air in my lungs I tried to regain my composure and clear my mind of all thoughts.
I could feel Mathew looming somewhere behind me, waiting for just a signal from his boss to pick me up and carry me out of the room. Well, that was not going to happen. I was going to stay and say what I had to say to Gabriel with or without his wing man being present for it.
"Gabe, I'm really sorry. I told her you weren't alone. I only took my eyes off of her for a second..." Lifting his hand in a silencing gesture, Gabriel shook his head.
"First of all, I think there are some men in the hallway waiting for you to take them downstairs. Second of all, I only have half an hour so we'll talk about this later." There was no place for arguments on Mathew's side. I almost felt sorry for the poor man, but then I remembered his lack of cooperation and the pity turned into simmering anger, directed at him this time.
Without making another sound and walking out of the office, Mathew closed the door behind him, leaving me and his boss alone. I breathed out a sigh of relief, finally being capable of unleashing my feelings and fought to unfasten the bracelet that was the cause of my anger. Standing up from his leather office chair, Gabriel extended his hand to me in an inviting gesture, his lips parting as if to say something, but I didn't let him follow through on his intention. Finally getting the damn thing off my wrist, I threw it across the room at him. His eyes widened, the bracelet hitting his rock hard chest and falling at his feet.
"You know..." He sighed, briefly closing his eyes and hoplessly shaking his head.
"Surprisingly, I do, in spite of the fact that you'd forgotten to tell me what this bracelet really meant. How could you do this to me behind my back? How could you not tell me the truth? How could you let her throw it in my face?" Throwing his head back on an angry growl, Gabriel's hands grabbed the edge of his desk, his knuckles whitening.
"Mei..." The word was barely an angry whisper but I'd heard it, just as I'd heard the deep, calming breath he took afterwards.
"How could you make me a protege without even letting me know? Without even fucking asking for my opinion, Gabriel." I yelled, the sound of my voice stronger than I'd expected.
"Would you have accepted?" The confusion must have been showing on my face, because Gabriel silently sighed, shaking his head once more. "If I told you about it -if I asked for your permission... Would you have accepted to become a protege?" Accept becoming a protege? Accept being held captive by some invisible, crazy bonds? Accept becoming his damn property? Hell, no. "I didn't think so." I was quite sure that I hadn't actually said those words out loud, confusion drowning me further. "You didn't have to say it, judge. That's how well I know you. I can actually tell what you're thinking. That has never happened to me before. And that's also why I didn't tell you anything. I knew you wouldn't agree with it." I let out an incredulous laugh, the irony of the whole thing not lost on me.
"So you knew that I wouldn't agree, but you still went on and did it." Gritting his teeth, Gabriel let out a strangled moan.
"I had a fucking good reason for it. You needed my damn protection..." Using the same silencing gesture he'd used on Mathew earlier, I let out a deep sigh.
"Look. I don't care what you thought or what your reasons for doing this to me were. What I'm here to say to you is that I'll never be a protege. I'm not like the rest of your girls, Gabriel." His eyes narrowed in warning, but I couldn't give a crap about it. He'd tried to make me a protege and all proteges were calling him by his first name, so I was supposed to have gained that right too."If you don't want me anymore just tell me. I don't need something in exchange and I sure as hell don't need your protection. I know how this works. You've told me. And you don't owe me a thing." My cell started vibrating in the pocket of my jeans and I pulled it out, checking the text I'd received. It was from Lila.
It's almost midnight. Why the fuck aren't you at home and where exactly are you? We need to talk. I'm at your place. It's urgent. Please!
The please gave me chills. It meant it was fucking serious and that I had to get home fast. Turning on my heels, I started for the door just to be stopped the moment two strong, muscular arms wrapped around my waist holding me still.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Gabriel growled into my ear. His proximity was too much to stand at the moment, so taking him by complete surprise, I pushed him away from me continuing my way to the door, only for the damn thing to be slammed in my face. "I asked you a question. What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm going home." I sighed, trying to escape from the cage of his body.
"No, you're not. It's dangerous for you out there, especially at this hour of the night and I'm not letting you go." I could've poked his fucking eyes out at that moment. He was already treating me like I was his damn property.
"I think you didn't understand what I came here for. Let me explain it to you again." Grabbing my hand and quickly spinning me around, his hazel eyes locked on mine.
"Oh, trust me, I understood. That doesn't mean I like it nor that I approve of it." A sarcastic smile pulled at my lips.
"Then it's good you don't have to like it. I'm not your damn protege. You don't own me like you own the rest and you sure as hell don't get to order me around. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid, in fact." His brows furrowed, his mouth setting into a grim line.
"That's what you think this is all about? That's what you think being a protege is?" When I nodded my head, he sighed deeply. "Well, it's not. That's not why I wanted you to become one."
"Is it or not how this protege thing works for the others?" The look on his face gave him away this time. He was trying to decide if to tell the truth or not and how exactly to do it.
"It's for their own protection." He finally mumbled. "If I order them around, Julia, I do it for their own protection. That doesn't mean that I own them. They're not mine. None of them. And if something happened between me and some of them, that had nothing to do with the fact they were my proteges, ok?" Unfortunately for him, that wasn't making me change my mind. His reasons were not enough for that. I had my own damn reasons too. "You're not like any of them. I'm not trying to make you a protege because I feel like I owe it to you, because I don't want you anymore -which is simply stupid- or anything else that you might think. I wanted to make you a protege because I actually wanted to protect you in case you needed it -like today in that parking lot." He was hiding something from me and that thought made me lose it.
"What do you want to protect me from? What are you not telling me?" Taking a quick look at his watch, Gabriel took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
"We've only got a few minutes left before the others are back. I'll talk to you when I'm done here, ok?" I nodded my head, starting for the door for the third time already.
"Ok, I'll be at my place. I'll see you then." Grabbing my hand and tugging on it, he pulled me back against him. Fuck! Of course I wasn't getting off the hook that easily.
"I told you you're not going anywhere." Giving him an incredulous look, I let out a short laugh.
"Yes, I am. Lila's at my place waiting for me. She needs me and I'll be damned if I won't be there for her. So let me go." Growling deep and low in his throat, Gabriel scowled at me.
"Julia, you can make this easy and stay here, or I'll keep you here." The look on his face was serious as fuck and just as determined, but I couldn't care less. I was going home either he liked it or not.
"You can't keep me here." The fire in his eyes burned darker for a moment.
"Watch me!" Swiftly bending down, he wrapped his arms around my thighs, picking me up and carrying me out of his office.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Climbing up the stairs to his penthouse, he pushed the door open with his foot, taking me to his bedroom and throwing me onto the bed. "Gabriel, I need to go home. Lila needs me."
"I'm sure she can survive without you for one night. Please, don't make me restrain you." He wouldn't have... Would he?
"I'm not your fucking property. You can't keep me here against my will." Smiling a mischivous smile, he headed for the walk-in closet, returning a moment later and finding me making a run for the door. Taking two large strides toward me, it was enough for him to reach out and grab my wrist for me to be thrown back onto the bed, with him on top of me.
"You may not be my property, baby, but I'll be damned if I won't keep you here. It's in your best interest, trust me." Presenting me a black, silk scarf, Gabriel reached for my hands. "Now I need you to stay still." Ignoring my struggle and the kicks in the guts I served him, he used the scarf to tie my hands together, repeating the procedure on my legs and then tying my hands to the bedpost as well. I was mortified. "I'll come back later to untie you. Try to be good and calm down until then." Crawling back on top of me, he placed a lingering kiss onto my lips, in spite of the fight I'd put on. "Think about the protege thing. When I get back, we'll also talk about it."
"I don't want to talk about anything, Gabriel. Just let me go. You can't keep me tied to a bed. It's not normal." I was fucking desperate and on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
"Oh, yes, I can. And just so you know, if you refuse to cooperate, I'll keep you here for even longer. You need to calm down, Julia." He growled at me, completely ignoring the fact that I'd called him by his name. Was he starting to get used to it? And if he was, what was that supposed to mean?
"I'm calm. Can we please have a civilised conversation now? One in which I'm not tied to a fucking bed?" I yelled, pulling at my restraints and moaning when the scarf bit into my skin. Gabriel scoldingly shook his head, one of his hands caressing my cheek.
"You have no idea what a civilised conversation we already have. If you were anybody else, dea, being tied to a bed would've been the least of your concerns." My eyes widened at the unexpected piece of information. Bending his head and letting his lips wander down my neck, he slowly took his mouth to my ear. "I'm a really powerful man, Julia and you're probably the only person capable of pushing all of my wrong buttons and staying alive afterwards." He whispered, his tongue drawing the contours of the shell of my ear. "You're very, very lucky that I'm literally incapable of hurting you." I allowed a small, satisfied sigh to escape me and the bastard smiled. "I'll see you later." Standing up from the bed, Gabriel wickedly winked at me and started for the door. Oh, no, he wasn't leaving me like this.
"Gabriel, wait. You can't leave me like this. I swear to God that if you leave me like this, as soon as I'm free I'm leaving and you'll never see me again." Mischivously laughing from where he was standing -next to the door, Gabriel gave me sarcastic look.
"I may be a bastard, baby, but I'm not a stupid one. I can't let you slip through my fingers. I know that if I let you go now, I won't find you here when I'm back and I can't take that risk. We have issues, baby. Issues we're gonna talk about and fix as soon as I'm back. Now, why don't you take a nap until then?" Smirking a superior smirk, he just turned his back to me, turned off the light and then exited the bedroom. By the time the front door was slammed shut I was already planning my escape from Gabriel's very own, very modern 'dragon guarded tower'.
$$$
The time started going by fast, the only indication of the passing hours being the slightly duller light spilling through the windows. There must have been more than three hours since Gabriel had walked out the door, promising to be balk soon and free me from my restraints, but he hadn't shown up yet, keeping me captive and depriving me of the presence of another human being. My mind was in turmoil, trying to come up with new plans of escape just for each and every one of them to be quickly turned down by my over rational conscience.
Plan: Find a knife or a scrissor and cut yourself free.
Conscience: And how exactly are you planning on finding them?
Plan: Scream for help.
Conscience: Yeah, like this place isn't full of his people. Oh, and they surely have no idea that you're being held captive here. Come on, please...
The sarcasm dripping from the little voice inside my head was really starting to piss me off. I mean, I was aware of the fact that my plans were not so bright, but after staying awake for the best part of the night, trying to fight off anger and exhaustion, it was fucking hard to get my brain to work normally. In fact, my system was really eager to shut down, the power of my will being the only thing preventing that from happening.
The sound of the front door being opened and then shut got my attention, my breath catching in my throat. Bright light flooded Gabriel's bedroom the moment somebody stepped inside, but I had to allow my eyes to adjust to the light, before I could make out who the person walking into the room was.
"I brought you a late nigh snack." Mathew's voice mumbled, the man grudgingly looking down at me.
"Thanks, but I'm not hungry." I mumbled equally low, trying to move a little and whimpering the moment I understood I couldn't make myself more comfortable than I already was -and I was lying in the most uncomfortable position ever.
"Are you ok?" Gabe's wingman asked, the little sweetness in his voice barely noticeable.
"No, I'm not. My muscles are sore, thanks for asking." His face softened up a bit, his big hands placing the tray with the snack on the small table by the door, his feet then taking him towards the bed.
"I'm not allowed to untie you. Actually, I shouldn't even be here after the stunt you pulled earlier, but Angie insisted on me checking up on you and bringing you something to eat." Of course she had. I thought. She was probably the only truly nice person in this place.
"Well, tell her I said thanks. That's a good woman you've got, Mathew, just so you know." He smiled a little.
"She's my angel." The words drifted in the air between us for a moment. It was good that he had an angel watching over him. Every man needed one of those, in my opinion, just as any woman needed the demon inside her man.
"What are you still doing here with me, Mathew? Go to her." Apparently lost, the man suddenly looked up at me as if not remembering how he'd ended up here.
"Do you need anything, judge?" He kindly asked, all trace of grudge now gone. I smiled, knowing fully well that he couldn't possibly give me what I needed, and yet giving it a shot nevertheless.
"I suppose you can't help me get out of here, can you?" I didn't mean it, of course. I wasn't going to cause him more trouble than I already had. His eyes widened, amusement lighting them up.
"You suppose well. As much as I'd like to help, I really like my head attached to my body." I couldn't help but laugh at his comment and I realised that it was the first time in a long time that this man was making me laugh. Remembering that he probably knew more about the whole protege thing than I did, I decided to give it a try and dig for more information. It was not like I really had something better to do at that moment.
"What is he really trying to protect me from, Mathew? 'Cause it really comes hard to believe that he only did it to prevent me from harm, generally speaking." Mathew slowly shook his head, a kind smile pulling at his lips.
"Why does it come so hard for you to believe that? He may not be too good at showing what his feelings are judge, but that doesn't make them any less real. And he cares for you, that much is obvious. It's just too bad you can't see him from the outside. See how you change him every time he's with you." Unfortunately, those changes weren't always good. It was enough to look at me being tied to his fucking bed to realise that what we had was a disfunctional relationship if a relationship at all.
"Maybe I do change him, Mathew, but I'm not sure I can handle the whole package. I'm not sure I want to have to fight for him. I'm not sure I want to be lied to by him or for him to hide things from me." Tears were threatening to spill from my eyes, the events of the day finally bringing me close enough to the edge. I was finally about to let him go and just as I'd always thought, he had been the only one capable of pushing me away. And yet, you need more... My conscience pitifully mumbled, the truth in her words undeniable. I still couldn't fully give up on him. I still needed more reasons to do it. Maybe I was just too stupid to see sense or maybe I was simply sadistic. I thought, my eyes closing in frustration. And then Mathew sighed and that brought me back to the here and now. Walking to the door he made to leave, the prospect of being left alone again making me cringe.
"Don't make any decisions tonight, judge. Sleep on it. Mornings are always better moments for thinking things through and making hard decisions. Just know that even if he's never told you this, he really cares for you. Maybe even more so than he ever cared about anybody else. And well... That's something, you know." Nodding his head once, Mathew left me alone, taking the tray of food with him.
I envied him then, because while he was able to leave and fall asleep next to the person he loved, I was still stuck there with my hands and feet tied up, trying not to think of the person I loved. Not that I loved Gabriel or something...
$$$
I was roughly woken up from a very troubled sleep half an hour later when the beautiful, petite, brunette woman who considered herself Gabriel's lucky charm, entered the bedroom, a shocked expression taking over her face the moment her eyes found me.
"Oh, isn't it great? You're Gabriel's new toy, aren't you? That judge, or something..." My brows furrowed while trying to understand who that woman was and how she dared talk to me like that. And how the fuck had she gotten inside anyway? I thought that the only persons ever coming to the penthouse were Gabriel, Mathew and ocasionaly me.
"I..." She didn't let me say anything, her small legs taking small steps towards the bed, one of her fingers going to my mouth and silencing me.
"Hush now, dear. As I see, you're in a quite difficult position and if you want me to help you, I'm afraid we have no time to lose with unimportant chatting. That's if you want my help, of course." I nodded, refusing to think of all the reasons why I shouldn't have accepted her offer. If she represented the only help I could get, then so be it. I was going to let her help me. "I wasn't expecting to find you here, like this, just so you know." She mumbled while fighting to loosen up the knots of the scarves that were holding me captive. "I just wanted to talk to my husband and since I couldn't find him anywhere, I thought to try here as well." She said as way of an explanation, but I wasn't listening to her anymore. The word husband was simply replaying in my mind.
"Um, excuse me." I said when she kept talking, my head already spinning. "Did you say?... What do you mean by your husband?" Questioningly raising one of her perfect brows at me, the woman seemed to be well and truly shocked judging by the look on her face.
"You didn't know?" Know what? I was still hoping for it to be just a joke. "Oh, dear." She said, trying to look troubled, the joy in her eyes telling a different story. She knew I had no idea about her and Gabriel and she was more than happy to break the news on me herself. "I've been married to Gabriel for more than eight years. By now I'd gotten used to him cheating on me, but the women he does it with usually know that he's married." Releasing one of my hands, she kept working on the other one, throwing ocasional, quick glances in my direction.
When both my hands were free and I could release my own legs, she stood up from the bed, taking a step back and watching me carefully.
"Are you ok? You must have been tied to this bed for quite a while now." She asked, watching me slowly rub my wrists and ankles.
"I'm fine, thank you." I answered briefly while standing up.
"Can I help you with anything?" The woman asked again as I grabbed a jacket from the walk-in closet and shrugged it on.
"No, thank you. I'm perfectly fine." I made for the door, but she stopped me and I had no other choice but to turn and look at her.
"I'm Stephanie Shaffer, by the way." Oh God! This was a bloody nightmare. Now Gabriel's wife was introducing herself to me.
"Julia Groves." I mumbled, grabbing my phone and wallet from the bedside table and making my hasty retreat. Once again, I needed to get out of that terrible place and I needed to do it fast and unnoticed.
Reaching the huge, front door of the mansion, I tried to open it withtout making too much noise and slipped outside. The morning was starting to fight the night, light replacing darkness and the moon slowly descending, making place for the sun. I just called for a cab, giving the operator another address and then heading to the house matching said address to wait for the car.
When the cab arrived, the driver gave me a knowing look I hated, the conversation between us consisting of me giving him my address and him throwing a 'yes ma'am' in my direction. I wished my mind would've been that quiet too, but instead of that, the cogs spinned uncontrollably, continously reminding me of Gabriel, his wife, the protege thing and the number of things that he was hiding from me. I was a fucking mess.
So I guess that's it... My conscience finally drawled the moment my brain decided to give me a break. I nodded thoughtfully, realising that there had been no need for that huge fight I'd hoped for. In fact, what had destroyed us was quite the opposite. Silence was the thing that had broken us. The silence he'd kept in what concerned the things that mattered most A.K.A the fucking secrets he'd kept from me for all this time.