~Ross's POV~
What's wrong with me? How could I do that? Why do I even try trusting myself anymore?
Yesterday, I had screamed at my landlord. I told him off, just because he asked for my monthly rent payment for my apartment.
If that wasn't enough, I threw a glass at him when he told me to calm down.
Regardless, I'm being evicted. I now have 30 days to move out.
Maybe if I had told him...no. Nobody can know about this. If they did, they would look at me like a freak. They would be afraid of me. They already have a right to be.
I wish I didn't have my outbursts. I wish I could control myself.
But I can't. And I never will.
I separated myself from everybody. I knew what I could do if I got out of control. I could easily kill somebody.
So, I left my family behind. My mother. My father. My brother. Even my pet chicken, Thundercluck.
I had also left my friends behind, Jin, Adam, and John.
I didn't want to hurt them.
It was three years ago when I discovered my unstable mind.
It happened in my Geometry class. My teacher asked me to answer a question on the board. I did what I was told.
"Wrong answer, Ross." She said.
Out of nowhere, rage filled my mind. I ended flipping desks, throwing things, and screaming random things.
I later tried to convince everyone that I was just stressed out, and that there was nothing wrong with me.
But really, I knew exactly what was happening.
I realized that there was something seriously wrong with my mind.
When I discovered that I couldn't control it, I segregated myself from everyone else.
I stayed in my room all the time. I didn't pay attention in school, because I was so busy worrying about keeping myself calm. I just barely managed to graduate.
I moved away as soon as I possibly could. All I had was the money I'd left with. I even stole some from my parents to pay for it.
And now, I would have to find a new home.
I couldn't go back to my parents. If I did, they would be dead in minutes.
What now? I can't go anywhere. I can't do anything.
I have contemplated suicide before. But I had just a sliver of hope that prevented me from finishing the job.
But I am still depressed all the time. The only times I'm not, I'm throwing things around the room and screaming at everyone.
I decided to get up off the floor I was lying down on, and try to get a job.
Hopefully, they fire me for an outburst before I end up murdering someone.
I walked out the door, putting on a fake smile.
I saw my landlord on the way. He had a bruise on his face from the glass. At least it hadn't shattered until it hit the ground.
I was pretty lucky he didn't call the police on me for assaulting him.
"Off to find a new apartment?" He said, a little bitterness still resonating in his voice.
"Yeah." I said quietly.
"Good. And try not to kill your new landlord."
I could feel rage slowly filling up in my mind.
No, Ross. You can't do this. You can't. Try...to calm...yourself...
Just as I was about to snap, he walked away. That gave me the opportunity to take my anger out on a nearby flower pot.
I threw it and hit a nearby car. The alarm went off, and I ran as fast as I could.
This job thing is going to be harder than I thought.