You're hiding something 'cause it's burning through your eyes I try to get it out but all I hear from you are lies." - Newfound Glory
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My heart was practically beating out of my chest when I arrived to the restaurant. Alessio's car was already there. We'd agreed to meeting here. We had both had work to attend to. I suspected only one of our jobs had been within the limits of the law.
I stayed holed up in my car, just me and the folders full of people Alessio had ruined. I checked myself out in the vanity mirror of the car a few more times until I saw Nash pull in across the street. I brushed a few strands of hair away, forced a smile and got out of the car.
I didn't have to tell the woman at the desk who I was here for. They all knew me. She smiled when I entered and it seemed genuine making me feel even worse.
Despite the fact that I had been spending time with Nash as he plotted, I loved Alessio. I really loved Alessio. And up until this very moment I had made no move against him, not one. Unless you count the act of agreeing to work against him a move, I sure felt guilty enough. I hadn't told Nash anything about Alessio. Not that I really had a ton to tell him to begin with. Alessio kept that side of his life away from me for the most part. I could have told Nash how I met Alessio, I could have told him about the times he had come home with knuckles raw and cut open, I could have told him about the men I met in the casino before it was raided. But I didn't.
But I had to stand up for all those people. I had to do write by everyone. Dad and Uncle Sam would be so disappointed if I did anything less. So I would do this. Not for Nash, and not against Alessio, but for the men and women and children in those folders and the family they left behind. So I would not tell Nash anything, but I would help him collect his information through the wire. It was wrong on both counts, and right on both counts.
Basically...I was torn, and I had no fucking clue what I was doing.
The files I had gone through time and time again were burned into my mind. When I closed my eyes I saw haunting images, the images of the badly beaten, bruised, traumatized, and killed. I knew I was doing the right thing, but that didn't help me sleep any better at night.
"Ah, Miss Santoro, Alessio has been waiting for you."
"Not long I hope." I said with a smile and followed her.
Alessio was on his cell phone until he saw me walking towards him. I couldn't remember ever feeling more nervous than this. He hung up the phone quickly and stood. "Katherine." He said and it sounded almost dreamy. He'd been out of town, we hadn't seen each other for the last four days, which was perfect for Nash and I to plot, but not so perfect for my heart. He was genuinely happy to see me, he kissed my cheek and pulled my seat out for me.
"Hi." I smiled.
"That dress." He said and let his eyes leisurely run over my body. I had to fight to keep from putting my hand over my chest as if he could see straight through it and to the necklace. "It fits you well."
"It does." I agreed. "And how much did you pay for it?"
He chuckled. "It was within our agreed budget."
"Barely I'm sure." I half teased and he smiled. I shifted awkwardly after a few moments of silence. "Stacey was hoping to set up another double date. I wasn't sure what exactly to tell her." Oh yeah, we'd gone on not one, not two, but three double dates since I'd agreed to bring Alessio down. Normal things like movies as I had complained we didn't go to and dinner. It was as though he knew I was plotting against him and was determined to make it that much harder for me.
"Tell her I would be flattered to have her company."
"Of course..."
"What's wrong now?"
"Nothing!" He raised an eyebrow and waited for more. "Do you remember the first time you took me out? To the orchestra? You said you played the cello. Why don't you have one anymore, I mean, you have just about everything. There's a ton of empty rooms in the house you could set it up in."
He frowned. "The cello? That is what you really want to talk about?"
I looked down to the table. "Yes."
He shrugged. "I stopped playing when I hit fourteen and my father started having me work clean up."
"Clean up?"
"You know. Disposing of bodies, paying off feds, destroying evidence. Simple things like that."
I nearly spit my drink out. Simple things. "You were only fourteen?"
"Well I was doing petty drops and passes long before then. I was to be the new leader someday. He wanted to ensure I knew what I was doing. And trust me when I say, I do know what I'm doing."
"Of course you do." I agreed and sighed. "So you just stopped playing?"
"Why the sudden interest in my musical expeditions?"
Telling him I was terrified to bring up anything else didn't really sound like the best idea. "No reason. Just feeling curious about your life. You know everything about mine and I nothing about yours."
"You know all of the important parts."
"Like what? I know you're in the mafia. What else?" I practically groaned. This wasn't the conversation I had planned. This was supposed to be about Alessio and the Mafia, and I was trying to steer the conversation in any direction but. I mean, at this point it looked more like we were going to have a conversation about our relationship.
"You know I am the Mafia. So you know what I do. You know my values, I protect my people and my family is of the utmost importance. You know I love you. What else is there to know?"
"I know what you do, but I have no clue who you are."
He raised an eyebrow. Clearly, he didn't understand.
"Well if someone asked you who I was, what would you say?"
"People know better than to ask me questions."
I groaned again. "Alessio, pretend they didn't."
"I would say you were my girlfriend." He shrugged.
I sighed and let my elbow hit the table, I dropped my chin into my palm and watched him.
"Fine. I'll play along." He said in a tone that sounded nothing short of bored. "I would say you were Katherine Santoro. I would say you were a writer, that's what you do. I would say you're obnoxiously impatient, though you're often, no, always late yourself. I'd say you're annoyingly stubborn and spiteful. You get attached to people at the drop of a pin. If I had to say I would say you're easily manipulated because you're just about the most damn empathetic person I've ever met and you'd throw yourself into the fire if it meant helping someone else. You're terrified of clowns but have had a gun pointed to your head almost as many times as I have and kept decently composed. You ramble too much, and when you get confused you stutter, you get confused a lot. I would say you didn't have a cruel bone in your body and are obscenely dramatic. I would say you drink when you get frustrated and never just for fun. I still have no clue what you turn into when gin is involved but I've seen plenty without. You're too independent, you hate to have anyone help you but you expect everyone else to let you help them. You blush too much, you didn't live a sheltered life but it never made you hard. If you had a thicker shell you wouldn't hide in bath tubs and blow up when things get to be too much. But all the annoying things about you, the way you stutter, the way you continue to fight with me about how expensive your clothes are, the way when you look really surprised like you do right now your brows come together but the one is just a hitch higher than the other, if you didn't worry about shooting the bad guys who have kidnapped you, if you didn't argue with me and laugh when I tell you not to do something or do it twice because I said not to then you wouldn't be Katherine. And I wouldn't love you. I would say that's who you are. The person who stutters, and fights, and cries, and clings to me even when she hates me, the person who needs to stop chewing the inside of her cheek when she's especially nervous and the person who curses more than I do. I would tell whoever asked that you are mine, this is who you are, my rarity, the only one who can terrify me. I would tell everyone that you are different than the rest, you are the single rose in a field of daises, and should they ever hurt you I would...well, I would tell you but I know you hate such talk so I will leave my actions up to your imagination which I know is always running wild."
I sat in complete silence across from him. I had no clue what to say. I didn't trust myself to say anything. I didn't know one of my eyebrows went higher than the other, I was half tempted to reach up and feel for myself but I didn't. I just stared at him.
"Now, who would you say I am?" He finally asked.
"That's the problem." I finally croaked. Oh no, I was failing. I was about to fall right into his lap. The way I did every single night. "I don't know who you are. I thought I did but..." Falling, falling, falling so fast, had to catch myself somehow. "I'm sure Sarah Mitchell knows exactly who you are."
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Hey guysssss.
Here's a double update! Because...I've reached 1k followers, WTSGD is half way to a million reads, yesterday WTSGD was #NINE on the whats hot list (13 today) and Chasing stars broke top 50 at #49 anddd you guys haven't had any Alessio action in weeks! Plus I know you're all pretty pissed with Kate and some of you are getting antsy with the whole story so maybe I'm trying to stay on your good graces too (; So plenty of reasons for a bonus update.
But the last chapter hasn't even been up for twelve hours and already over 100 votes! Now I've had a few people who are getting SUPER frustrated with the story, some who have even expressed desire to stop reading. First off, if you want to stop reading you can do so without the public announcement lol. Second off, if you're going to stop reading wait until the end of the NEXT chapter to make your decision. Trust me. It's a good one.
And in case you've forgotten Sarah Mitchell was one of the victims in the folder who had been raped. The one Nash actually pulled out and showed her. Squee.
Please do remember to VOTE and COMMENT! Next update, Mondayyy.