With her gaze locked on me, I watched as the girl's lower lip trembled, and a second later the tears she'd been holding in spilled down her cheeks. They were unending, but even so her eyes only continued to burn with an emotion I couldn't quite place.
I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but found myself momentarily speechless. Of its own accord, my heart had begun to hammer in my chest, a frantic tempo, and adrenaline was running throughout my body like living electricity. More than anything, I wanted to move, to be by her side, to comfort her.
The girl dropped the bag she'd been carrying, quickly taking three steps forward before her body tensed. I could've almost sworn she'd been about to run to me, ready to leap into my arms before she'd stopped herself. But that couldn't be right; obviously it had to be a trick of the mind.
"Hey?" I said, suddenly wondering if maybe this wasn't actually my visitor, but a stranger who'd picked the wrong room. I couldn't even ask Iris or Felix since they'd quickly slipped out of the room. "I'm Sage."
Her eyes widened as if in disbelief, and she opened her mouth to respond, but then appeared to change her mind. When she finally did speak after what felt like an eternity, it was but two words.
"I know."
Then before I could even react, she'd rushed forward, throwing her arms around my neck. For a fraction of a second, I just sat there, letting my hands hang limply by my side. She'd caught me off guard. However, even before my surprise had worn off, I found myself hugging her back; instincts screaming at me to get rid of any distance between us. As her hair skimmed my nose, I caught her scent; clean, vaguely flowery, with undertones of earth.
After what had happened with Ally maybe I should've reacted differently, been wary or suspicious of this strange new girl, but I found that I couldn't muster up even the slightest hint of distrust. There weren't any words exchanged between us, all we could do was hold each other. She wrapped me in her arms so fiercely; her affection seemed to seep into my very bones, infusing me with a shot of bliss.
Our embrace was intimate, and not only in the physical sense, but because when our skin touched it felt as if our souls weren't just meeting, but reuniting. I tried not to hug her too hard, but I couldn't seem to help myself, and apparently neither could she. Wrapped up in each other, the rest of the world seemed to fade away, leaving me with only the sound of her breathing, and my own thundering heart.
"Who are you?" I found myself murmuring into her ear; my voice sounding strangely mournful. Not knowing who she was, it actually pained me. How is it that you make me feel this way?
She didn't respond, instead clinging harder to me, burrowing her face in my neck as if to hide from the world. I could feel her tears seeping through my hospital shirt, and in turn I found myself reaching a hand to gently brush her hair. In that moment, I guess I didn't care, I just wanted her close; needed her as simply and clearly as a heart needed blood to beat.
I don't know how long we stayed that way, but the moment she tried to pull away, I found my chest seizing with genuine dismay. I'd been holding onto her with all the afflictions of a man torn by new emotions he didn't know what to do with. I was unwilling to relinquish her.
Reluctantly, I did eventually let go when I realized I might be hurting her. She didn't move away though, only straightened and again wiped at her face. Her tears had ebbed, but I could still feel the damp spot they'd left on my shoulder.
"You're alive, you're really alive," she said breathlessly. "I-I'm so sorry. Sage, you don't know how sorry I am."
"It's fine, really," I answered, assuming she had to be referring to the reaction she'd had upon seeing me. Perhaps she even feared she'd caused further injury to my wound. "Cut's healing well, so no damage done. Plus, I love hugs."
"What?" She repeated in confusion. Then a moment later she seemed to understand as a look of horror crossed her features. "Oh god, I didn't even think. I'm sorry! How are you feeling? Did I hurt you?"
I chuckled, holding my hands out in an effort to calm her. "Like I said, it's fine. I'm healing really well actually."
"Really?" she said, and I watched as her eyes curiously flicked over to the monitors that were connected to me. "That's surprising. I mean, it's also fantastic, but–"
She trailed off, and when she spotted a clipboard on my side table, she picked it up and began to quickly leaf through the pages. It was then that I took notice of the fact that she was wearing a hospital uniform. So she was a nurse?
"None of these say anything about what medication you're on," she said, her brow furrowing. "In fact, they don't hold much information on you at all."
I shrugged. Dan had told me that Banks hadn't wanted any of the hospital staff to have knowledge of his serum, and so that was why my written information was so limited. Though I'd found it odd, I couldn't complain; Banks had saved me, and I had to trust that he knew what he was doing.
"I'm doing well," I reassured her. "Alive and kicking. Well, not quite kicking since I'm not supposed to be walking around yet. That's what the wheelchair is for, you know? Though -uhh- I mean, of course you'd already know that. Everyone knows what a wheelchair is for, I'm not trying to insinuate anything, I'm just–"
I forced myself to stop talking, feeling my face heat with embarrassment. In my heart and mind, there were just so many feelings and emotions that I wanted to express, but when I opened my mouth everything seemed to collapse. I couldn't understand why I felt this way; more than happy, I was euphoric, damn near giddy. Stranger still, I felt relieved, as if I'd somehow had a weight on my shoulders that I'd not been aware of until she'd appeared to free me of it.
Thankfully, rather than cast me a weird look, the girl actually broke into a smile. And at that sight, my own heart seemed to swell with satisfaction; which again, was a reaction that puzzled me.
"Sorry," I said, grinning sheepishly. "I'm not normally this un-smooth."
"You don't say."
"I do say," I answered, nodding my head emphatically. "In fact, not to brag, but I'd say I'm pretty nifty. My best quality being my extreme humility, well, that or my very masculine chin." I ran a hand over my jaw, feeling the tell-tale signs of scruff, and then gave her a wink. "See this stubble? I grew it myself. So not only am I humble, but I'm also talented."
They never tell you how much something as simple as laughter can change you; making you smile when you're not even in the mood to deal with the world. However, I was learning firsthand just how that action could lift my spirits. Hearing this girl's laughter was like listening to a sound that was so beautiful, it made me want to obsessively keep finding ways to hear it.
"That's truly impressive," she said teasingly, and I couldn't help but notice that she'd seemed surprised by her own outburst. "You almost left me speechless."
"I tend to have that effect on people," I grinned. "I mean, not that I've seen myself in a mirror lately, but from previous experience I'd say I'm probably ravishing." I ran a hand through my hair. "Glamorous, no? I call it the I-just-got-out-of-a-coma look."
"Trendy," she said, nodding playfully as if she really believed it.
As her obvious joy filled the room, and I found myself amazed at just how easy it was to talk to her. Could it simply be because she was so obviously concerned for me? Or was it her undeniable kindness and compassion. While those were all valid reasons to feel at ease, I had a sense that it had to be something else as well.
Why does she feel so familiar to me? At that thought, I came to the realization that I still didn't know who she was. Did she even know about my memory loss?
"So, you're a nurse?" I asked, nodding at her clothes. She didn't wear a name tag like Grace had, but I figured she'd tell me her name soon enough. "It's nice to meet you."
"So it's true then. I mean, Iris and Felix explained a little of it to me, but I didn't want to believe it," she said, her eyes sad once more. "You really can't remember anything involving your life here?"
I shook my head dejectedly. "No. When I woke up, as far as I was concerned I was still completely candor."
She nodded, her face looking studious as she began to pace back and forth. "Why are you here?"
"Hmm," tapping my chin, I pretended to look thoughtful. "Probably because I was stabbed?"
Banks hadn't directly said it, but he'd hinted at the fact that no one outside of our circle should know that I'd actually died on the surgery table. If this information was brought to light, questions would be asked, ones he wasn't prepared to answer. Again, though I absolutely hated the thought that I was omitting information, I was willing to do it because I felt like I owed him; a debt like mine wouldn't be easily repaid. He'd given me a second chance.
As she took in my words I thought I saw her recoil a little, almost as if she'd been struck. "No, I mean in here," she said after a hesitation. She gestured around the room at the walls of my padded cell.
"Oh, that," I said, peering around myself; trying to see the place through her eyes. "I'm not crazy, and I didn't have some kind of nervous breakdown," I quickly explained. "The truth is that my friends brought me here to keep me safe. You see there's this girl -the one who shanked me- who's apparently out and about doing everything in her power to find me. You might've heard of her. Her name is–"
"Ally," she said, her face pinching with something that almost looked like shame. "Umm, so what have they told you about her?"
"Stuff," I answered vaguely. I couldn't lie, didn't actually want to since it went against my nature, but I was honor-bound to Banks and I wasn't sure yet what I could and couldn't say. "Nothing good. Mostly warnings. Why? How much do you know of the situation?"
"You could say I'm well acquainted with what happened in the ring," she said, seeming to choose her words carefully. "You don't seem scared," she added, appearing oddly hopeful. "Or angry."
"I guess I'm not," I admitted. "Though I probably should be."
"What would you do if you saw her?" she asked. "If she found you?"
I hadn't actually considered that possibility. Common sense said I should turn and walk away, to avoid her at all cost and just get on with my new life. However, my gut said otherwise; it said to find her, to have a confrontation if necessary, and finally learn the motive behind of her attack.
"I don't know," I answered, feeling torn. "I really don't know."
While this answer didn't seem to please her, she did appear to understand it as she nodded in agreement. In fact, moments later I watched as her entire demeanor changed. She set her jaw, squared her shoulders, and new light of fierce determination shone in her eyes.
"That's fair," she said, "and honest. Most people don't like to admit they don't have all the answers."
"I'm not like most people," I answered. "Speaking of not having all the answers though," I gave her a grin and then nudged her arm with my own. "You've been really mysterious. I literally know nothing about you, well, other than you're exceptionally cute."
"You think I'm cute?" she repeated, apparently shocked by my audacity. It was what I thought though, so naturally I felt I had to say it.
"Oh yeah, in fact if being cute were a crime, you'd probably get the chair," I said, feeling my smile pull wider. "You're a regular fiend."
"Are you flirting with me?" she asked incredulously, her own lips twitching as she suppressed a grin.
"I might be," I answered, then after a paused gave in and nodded. "And by that I mean, yes, I totally am."
At my admission her cheeks flushed a warm rosy color, but she didn't look away. It was a good sign. In candor, we were honest about everything, and that included relationships. There, if you were certain that you liked someone you simply told them, and if they didn't feel the same, they let you know on the spot.
My father had told me once that when he'd met my mom, he'd simply known. It was an honest truth that he knew he'd never be able to reject or dispute. A truth that had not only shaped his future, but also structured his life. He'd compared it to something as irrefutable as a human needing air to live.
At my young age, I hadn't completely understood his words, but now...
While I'd always been hard pressed to believe in love at first sight, I found myself inexplicably drawn to this girl. And even though it lay deep in my subconscious, a part of me knew that the moment I'd laid eyes on her my life would be forever changed. I didn't know the why or how, but I did sense it lingering in the future. Never before had I felt this quick of a response to anyone, both physical and emotional.
"You're certainly audacious," she said, quirking a brow. "You weren't quite like this before."
For an instant I felt like I'd been caught doing something wrong. As if there were a specific reason I should be hiding my honesty. The smallest shiver of uncertainty creeped through my spine, and for an instant a wisp of a memory came.
You'd be wise to stop being so honest... The single thought drifted waywardly in my mind, only to disappear seconds later. Shaking my head to clear away my confusion, I figured that had to be a side effect of my accident.
"Candor brain," I said apologetically, tapping my head for effect. "Sorry."
"No, don't be sorry," she laughed, "I like honest. In fact, I prefer it. Really, it's just surprising. I'm used to you being more–" She broke off, and her eyes suddenly became more analytical.
"To me being more?" I prompted.
"Different," she answered slowly.
Different; for some reason that word struck a chord with me. I thought I felt something like nerves stir within me, but couldn't really pinpoint why. It makes you uncontrollable... unpredictable. You don't conform to the way society feels you should act. You're not a mindless follower, and that makes you a risk.
A sudden twinge appeared at the base of my head, and I tried to concentrate on the thought that had momentarily surfaced.
"You okay?" the girl asked when she noticed me frowning.
"Headache," I explained, completely losing the grasp I'd had over the memory. "I've been getting them a lot since I woke up."
Again she had that steady intellectual look to her, as if she were trying to complete a puzzle with half the pieces missing. She turned to me then, and without seeming to think about it she took one of my large hands in between her delicate one, running a thumb over my scarred knuckles absently.
"Sage, I'm about to tell you something crazy. I need you to believe me, but for that you'll need to keep an open mind, can you do that?" When I nodded, she continued. "What if I told you we knew each other well?"
While I'd sort of assumed that, especially after our embrace, it was a relief to have confirmation.
"How well?" I asked as I turned my hand so that our fingers were just barely interwoven. In answer, she merely grinned mischievously.
"You'll remember." Looking back into my eyes, she continued to speak, her voice sounding hopeful. "That's the other thing I wanted to tell you. I have a theory about your memory, and if I'm right I think I might know of a way to get it all back."
"Is that possible?" I asked. "How could you restore my memories? Tell me. I'd do anything. You can't even begin to imagine how much I crave the truth."
"Do you trust me?" she asked instead, and in that moment I didn't even have to think before answering.
"I do."
That was apparently all she needed to hear. She laid her free hand on my chest, gingerly resting it where I'd been stabbed; almost as if she'd known the exact location. Though there was a layer of gauze, surgical tape, and the fabric of my shirt, I could still feel the warmth emanating from her skin. My heart was thundering again, and my breathing had grown shallow.
She leaned close, so much so that our noses nearly touched.
So much so that as I looked into her eyes, all thoughts abandoned me.
So close, that if I were to tip my head forward just a few centimeters our lips would...
"We have to go," Iris suddenly said, opening the doors to the room with a single shove as she strode in. Immediately I noticed that she appeared flustered, and also that Felix wasn't with her.
"What? Why?" I protested.
"But Iris–"
"Don't," Iris said to the girl, quickly looping a hand around the crook of her elbow to lead her away. "We have to go. There's been a code red emergency."
Biting her bottom lip, the girl nodded unwillingly. "I'll be back," she told me fervently, and I had no doubt she intended to keep that promise.
Though I desperately wanted her to stay, if it was an emergency –and for god's sake, we were in a hospital, meaning that someone could possibly be dying at this very instant– then I knew I had to let her go. It would be selfish to monopolize all her time, even if the last thing I wanted was to let her out of my sight.
"Okay," I said, nodding reluctantly. As she turned to leave though, I called out. "Wait!"
"What's wrong?" she asked, rushing back, though not as closely as she had before.
"You never told me your name."
Behind her, I thought I saw Iris gape in disbelief, but maybe I was wrong; a second later she'd already turned away and begun to peek her head out the door. Probably, she was just anxious about the medical emergency.
For longer than I thought was necessary, the girl thought over my question. Eventually, she picked up the clipboard she'd previously been flipping through and pulled out an unused page. She flipped it over so that it was all white, and then scrawled a message.
"What are you doing?" I asked, unable to hide my interest. She didn't answer as she folded it up into a little square. Instead, she placed the note in my hands and then promised again.
"Sage, I will be back." Then, just as soon as she'd appeared, she was gone; out the door, following closely behind Iris. I stared after her, silently cursing my position. If only I wasn't bound to this stupid bed.
I looked down at my lap, about to unfold my note, when I was surprised to hear the doors swish open yet again. My heart leapt, but it wasn't my mystery girl. Storming in with a look that said don't-fuck-with-me came Dan, Marko, and Jude. Trailing behind them, looking reprimanded, were Wayne and Felix.
"Sage, what happened? Are you okay?" Dan immediately asked, looking me up and down as if looking for an injury that he'd expected to be there. "I can't believe you were left alone."
"I'm fine Dan," I told him, gesturing at myself as if to say; See, all in one piece. "Relax." When he didn't, I playfully punched his arm and wrinkled my nose at him. "For someone so cool, you've sure turned into quite the mother hen."
Dan wasn't the kind of person to stay angry or upset; it just wasn't in his nature. His brain was wired for fun and by default there was usually a smile on his face. Though I might've been missing two years of my life, I knew this couldn't have changed.
"I'll have you know," Dan replied after a second, his smirk betraying his authoritative tone. "Chickens are notoriously devious, so I'm going to take that as a compliment. Besides, if I'm a hen, by default that would make you a chick."
"Well then, cheep-fucking-cheep," I replied, happy to see the spirited Dan I knew and loved.
"Wow, you two are a pair of idiots," Marko snorted, rolling his eyes. He looked over to Jude as if for support.
"That isn't exactly news to me," Jude shrugged. Then, totally dead-pan, he said, "I don't care who gets called a hen or chick, so long as neither of you start in on the cock jokes." It took me a second, but then I realized Jude had just made a joke.
"Dude," I laughed, and then I raised a fist for a congratulatory bump. "Nice!" Jude shrugged, but obligingly tapped his fist to mine. It was then that I remembered. I tilted my head and nodded at Wayne. "You okay man?"
Wayne blinked at me, appearing confused, but then seemed to understand. Before he could answer though, Jude spoke up. "He's fine, just being a little drama queen."
"Was not," Wayne protested. "Suspicious moles are always an important topic to discuss amongst family."
"It wasn't even a mole, it was a piece of dried chocolate frosting," Jude retorted.
"True, but it could've been serious," Wayne insisted. "You never know." Jude sighed, but I could see that the love for his brother prevented any real annoyance from appearing.
"So Felix, why did you leave?" Dan suddenly asked.
"Had to take a leak," Felix replied, and again there was that hint of untruth in his words. I wasn't the only one to notice it either.
"That so?" Dan said, his tone suspicious, and for an instant I saw Felix and Wayne share a look.
"Well, not exactly," Felix answered grudgingly. "You see, Iris really wanted to see Sage."
Actually, though Iris had indeed seemed concerned for me, it had been my mystery girl who'd really been the one who'd wanted to spend time with me.
"Oh, Iris," Dan said, and I could hear the relief in his voice. "Why didn't you say so earlier?"
"Thought you'd be mad," Felix said, giving a kid-like shrug.
"Nah," Dan said, and before my very eyes I saw his entire disposition go soft. "I trust Iris. I was going to bring her myself later actually." Had it been my imagination, or had he said Iris' name with a tender undertone? I was going to have to investigate later. "I was just working some things out before I brought her here."
"You should bring her friend too," I added quickly. "Maybe when she's not working?"
"Friend?" Both Marko and Jude repeated.
"What friend?" Dan demanded. His tone, which had previously been gentled, had turned to ice as he threw Felix and Wayne distrustful looks. "What was her name?"
I looked down at my note. It felt wrong to read it in front of them, but I did feel the need to provide a name. When they all saw it in my hand, I clutched it just a little tighter.
"I was just about to find that out now," I said.
Then carefully, so as to not rip or harm my letter in any way, I unfolded it.
"Her name is–"