"Holy shit" I sighed to myself after catching my breath from the stirrup less posting trot.
"I don't want any of that language in my stable." Carl scolded me.
I was about to remind him it wasn't his stable but I let it slide considering the breathless state I'm in.
"Samantha, come to the middle. I would like to talk to you." Carl said.
With just a squeeze of my heels on Cinnabar and a pull of direction with the reins, he started walking over to Carl. As soon as we had reached Carl I pulled back Cinnabar to a halt using very little contact. Who's my smart boy? I grinned at my thought.
"Samantha," he started. Why do all our conversations start with Samantha? "You must focus on your training and not frivolous relations with the stable hand." Wait what? " He is here to be your aid to continue training, not sidetrack your thoughts. Remember, you are above him. You come from a long line of showjumping champions while I don't even know his last name." Smith I said to myself. "Just remember everyone's standing, it'll do you good." With that, he waved me off to continue to walk out Cinnabar.
Is Hunter really below me?
Of course he is. My ego trained my Carl replied.
Should I stay away from him?
No, who would untack Cinnabar?
I sighed having a mental debate between my ego and my heart. As much as I fought my ego perfectly 'trained' by Carl, I couldn't win. It's easier to think the things that they brainwash me with. It's easier to get along. It's just easier.
•after the lesson•
As I got off the Cinnabar I noticed Hunter standing against the arena door waiting for Cinnabar. At least I hope he's waiting for Cinnabar. As I walk toward him with Cinnabar on my left, I see Hunter's smile widening. He uncrosses his arms from his chest and comes to greet me.
"Pretty brutal." He joked with a grin etching its way onto his lips.
He's below you. He's not a champion show jumper as you aspire to be. He is just some rodeo cowboy. My ego and Carl's voice filled my head.
"Yes." I retorted coolly. "Please untack Cinnabar and have his stall ready for him. I'll be back later tonight to check on him. Make sure he has his hay and his food schedule is on the white bored upstairs along with his food and hoof supplements." I continued. "Don't mess it up." I gave him one last glance, actually the only glance I gave him during this whole conversation.
As I looked at his eyes I wanted to apologize and hope he excuses me for being such a... A... Bitch! But I couldn't. I needed to kick the idea of apologizing to a barn hand to tell him to do his job.
I couldn't let him get in my head.
I couldn't get sidetracked.
I had to keep my eyes on my future.
I had to become a champion.
I stared at his eyes a second longer seeing an emotion cross his face but the emotion quickly vanished.
I couldn't figure out what it was... Hurt? Confusion? Anger? I couldn't pinpoint it.
I couldn't stand to be around him any longer. My ego told me it was because he's just a barn hand. Although my heart told me it was because of the expression laid across his face. I ignored both of them and walked pass Hunter, handing him Cinnabar's reins, while he still had a confused look on his face.
I ran up to the changing room and changed my clothes. I look in the mirror when I was finished and just stared. I saw my reflection but I didn't see me.
But this is what I'm supposed to be. I reminded myself.
I couldn't keep my eyes on the prize if they were too busy in the skies.
...or in his eyes...
[Author's note]
Hey guys!!
I'm not even sure if people read this but whatever. XD
So Samantha is fighting with herself to decide what's right: her heart or her ego??
*dramatic pause*
So anyways, I know this was kind of a filler chapter but don't worry it's leading up to the big rise where some drama starts ;)
I just needed to set the scene as to where Samantha's head is at.
Hope you guys liked it and thanks for reading so far!!
-julzsmiley