{Patrick}
I roll over onto my side, and force my eyelids to open.
The sun blinds me for a few seconds, as it streams in through the open curtains in my room.
I slowly force my eyes to open more and more, until they are fully opened.
I look to my left and see Abigail lying on her side, her breathing slow and quiet.
Her light brown hair falls around her face elegantly, and her skin is sweet and soft.
A small smile is written on her lips, even while she sleeps.
It's Saturday, June 18, at about 10:30 in the morning.
Abigail and I were out at a Blackhawks team dinner last night, and are both still pretty tired from that.
Last night was great.
This whole experience of winning the Stanley Cup for the fourth time in just six seasons has been incredible.
2010, 2013, 2014, and 2016.
It's unheard of.
I'm still in shock at the fact that the Blackhawks have managed to do all this.
I am happy.
Not the kind of happy where if something bad happens, you become extremely down and discouraged.
No, not that type of happy.
That type of happy is dangerous.
But I am happy in the sense that I am pleased with the way my life is right now.
I couldn't ask for it to be much better, to be honest.
Abigail and I have been together for a while now, and we are very happy with our relationship.
We've grown ridiculously close.
I don't know if it's weird to say, but Abigail is one of my best friends.
I love her in so many ways, one of which being as a friend.
Of course I'm in love with her because she is my girlfriend, but I'm also not afraid to tell her anything.
She's always there for me, no matter what.
And I appreciate that a lot.
Right then, I hear her begin to stir in her light sleep, until she is awake.
I look over to her, and her eyes meet with mine.
They are sleepy and hazed, but she looks absolutely adorable.
"Hey Abbers." I say quietly.
"Hey love." She replies, rubbing her eyes.
"What time is it?" She asks.
"10:45." I reply.
She smiles.
"That was a good sleep in." She giggles.
I nod, approvingly.
She then moves herself over until she's cuddled up with me.
I kiss the top of her head, and she wraps her arms around my body.
She's wearing a white v-neck and spandex, and I'm wearing loose grey sweats and no shirt.
Her arms are warm against my skin.
Abigail has been one of the biggest blessings in my life throughout everything.
Excluding our breakup a few years back, we have been dating for a total time of about six years.
Abby has finished her photography degree from the University of Chicago, and has opened up her own business.
She's now the manager, and has many co-workers.
Being the manager of her own studio, she creates her own hours, and has her own clients.
She is the photographer for lots of photo shoots, but recently she has been doing a lot of stuff for the Blackhawks, so she doesn't have to be at her studio all day.
She has already decided that she is taking this summer off, so we can spend more time together.
Her last day of work is at the end of this month, and then she will go back to work once September rolls around.
Things get busy during the season; she works a lot, and I'm always busy with games and practices.
Summer is when we truly get to reconnect, and whenever I'm in town during the season, we are almost always together.
We both live in the same apartment, at Trump Tower.
She officially moved in to the apartment about two years ago, around the same time Jonathan moved out.
Man, I miss Jonny around here.
But in saying that, I know he loves his new apartment, and it's a really nice place.
We spend a lot of time together, whether it be here or at his place.
We've grown even closer over the past couple years.
Jonathan has been strong.
Two years ago, Ally Summers was killed in a car accident.
I'm going to be straight out and honest about all of it.
It killed Jonathan.
Killed him.
I had never seen another human hurt as much as he was for months after it happened.
It broke me, too.
It broke a lot of guys on the team, as well as my family and Ally's family.
It was so unexpected, nobody saw it coming.
What Jonathan and I were forced to see that night, still haunts me to this day.
Two years later, and I still can't get that goddamn image out of my head.
Never.
Jonathan and I both underwent therapy.
We took a whole season off, because of both injury and personal related reasons.
I had broken a few ribs and my clavicle in the accident, that I underwent surgery to fix.
Jonathan had broken his arm in multiple places, and he too, also needed surgery.
There was no way either of us could have played the rest of the season anyways.
But I think an even bigger reason for our absence, was the mental aspect.
I've tried to put emphasis on how you don't just un-see what I saw that night.
You don't just "forget" what happened.
You don't just "recover" from experiencing a tragedy as immense as that.
No.
It takes time, and help, which is why both Jonathan and I had therapy sessions for months after it happened.
I don't know how Jonathan managed to stay sane.
An event like that changes a person for the rest of their life.
He was in a dark place for a while.
But, he's come out of it.
Life went on, for both of us.
We got back to hockey. We went back to hanging out with friends, going out on weekends, playing in games, and just got back into our routines.
And ever so slowly, life started to feel normal again.
Things started to feel okay.
And two years later, here we are, back in our normal lives.
He hasn't dated anyone since it happened, and I don't blame him.
No one has forgotten what happened.
I don't think anyone could forget what happened. We just don't talk about it.
That isn't to say we don't miss her.
Christ, I miss her every single day.
I just don't let it take over my life.
Sure, Ally comes up sometimes, but we never talk about her death.
We only talk about when she was alive, and somehow, we've all managed to separate that horrible event from the rest of our lives.
For months after it happened, it was so hard to find something that made me happy.
Anything.
Nothing seemed to tear me out of the dark abyss I was in.
But time heals everything, and with time, things changed.
Even to this day, I have flashbacks or episodes of tears where I just can't seem to stop thinking about it.
But that's normal.
Post-traumatic stress is a difficult thing to deal with, and it has gotten so much better over time.
So, there you have it.
It is what it is, and nothing changes that.
And that takes us to where I am now.
I'm happy.
***
"Patrick, could you take the salad out to the balcony?" Abigail calls, as she pours two glasses of water.
"Yeah of course!" I say, smiling.
I grab the bowl of caesar salad that is sitting on the counter, and make my way over to the open screen door of the balcony.
The buildings surrounding Trump Tower stand proudly just outside the window, and the sun begins to set on the horizon.
It's gorgeous.
It's about 7:00 in the evening, and Abigail and I have decided to have dinner out on the balcony tonight.
Abigail is a great cook, and she apparently has made something delicious for tonight.
I set the salad bowl outside on the balcony table.
The balcony isn't huge, but it's not a bad size.
It's extremely high up, and it's so beautiful how quiet it is out here.
Abigail and I are always out here having dinner or dessert together during the warmer months.
A candle is lit in the middle of the dinner table, and the crisp evening breeze makes the flame dance.
Within a few minutes, the whole dinner has been brought outside, as well as Abigail.
The two of us sit down, and look out at the view before eating.
"Wow." She sighs, happily.
"Wow is right." I laugh.
"I mean, I know we've eaten out here lots, but I'll never get over this view." She laughs, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
I smile at her from across the table as she watches the city.
Her light brown eyes are elegant and simple; just as she is.
And she is the love of my life.
I quickly take my first bite of spaghetti, and it melts on my tongue.
"This is delicious, Abby." I say, between bites.
"Thank-you, Pat." She says, laughing.
"Do we have any beer?" I ask, trying to remember if we have any booze left.
"No, remember, you used it all up after you had that huge party here right after the Stanley Cup victory." She reminds me, winking.
Shit.
That night. Wow, that was a great night.
"Oh right..." I trail off, awkwardly.
She giggles at me.
"I'll stick with water then." I wink, gesturing towards my water glass.
"Good idea." She smirks, laughing.
"I'm excited for this summer, love." She says.
"Me too, Abby." I nod.
It's going to be a good one.
Abigail and I both need this time to really relax and reconnect.
"I have a good feeling about it." She says.
I nod, in agreement.
"This love is ours." I say, quickly.
There it is again.
It's said every day, I swear.
"This love is ours." She says back at me, her smile small and dimples exposing themselves.
I smile back at her, and then look down at my half-empty plate.
And for a while after that, it stays silent.
Abigail and I both finish our dinners, and then I simply watch her as she eyes the city.
Her light brown hair is up in a loose bun, and she has hardly any makeup on.
She's wearing a loose grey t-shirt, and jean short shorts.
She still looks gorgeous.
I glance out at the city around me, and then back at the girl sitting across from me.
And I know one thing is certain; both are equally beautiful.