"My Immortal"- Evanescence
******
Years it's been. Years since she left me. It all happened in a blur, and I still remember it like it was yesterday. We were going great, and all of a sudden things went south. Literally and emotionally.
I was fresh out of high school and in what I thought would be a long-term relationship with (y/n). We'd been together since sophomore year, friends since the third grade. I thought she would be okay with me going off to Anaheim for hockey, but I guess I was wrong...
*Flashback*
I'm beyond excited, I'm-I'm ecstatic! I've been drafted into the NHL, and even though it's in a city far away I'm willing to go. (y/n) is at an interview for a college in Michigan, so she wasn't able to make it to the draft in Los Angeles.
My phone has been buzzing non-stop with congratulations from family members and friends, but there's been nothing from (y/n). I decide to call her, nearly bouncing up and down with excitement. "Hi!" I nearly squeal once she answers, and I hear her giggle. Oh, what I would do without that melodious laugh I have no idea.
"Hey babe, what's up? How was the draft? Did you get picked?"
"Yes!"
"Oh my goodness, Cam, that's amazing!" She exclaims, and my grin widens even further. "Who picked you? Toronto? Detroit?"
"Anaheim!"
"Anaheim...like California?" She asks, immediately sounding deflated.
"Yeah! What's...what's wrong with Cali?" (y/n) sighs, answering,
"It's just...it's so far away, and I was gonna go to school at the University of Michigan..."
"Didn't you apply for USCLA?" I question. "Or was that me?"
"That was you, Cam. Nice try."
"Come on, babe, it's amazing here, I can't imagine the feeling of being in the actual NHL! It's in the state with some of the best places--especially beaches-- in the world! There's Hollywood, Disneyland, the Golden Gate Bridge--"
"Those aren't related to Anaheim anyway," she interrupts. "Listen, I gotta go."
"Bye--I love you, (y/n)!" She doesn't answer, and the line goes dead as I frown.
"What's up?" My sister Payton asks, but I shrug it off.
"Ah, nothing, I'm just really excited, and I called (y/n) to tell her the good news."
"Lemme guess, she wants you in Detroit?" I'm surprised, nodding.
"Yeah..." I'll have to make a note to call her again later to straighten things out...
***
"No, you can't go to a team in California!" (y/n) insists. "I'd literally never get to see you, Cam, and you know how those long-distance relationships work. Or rather, how they don't work."
"Listen, baby, I know it's hard, but we can do it," I say encouragingly, clutching the phone tightly as I make my way to the gate where my plane is scheduled to take off from. "I know we can, I love you too much to let you down like that."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously what?" I question, confused. "What am I serious about?"
"The fact that you think we could do it. We're teenagers, Cam, we're 18. We can barely drive a car, never mind hold together a cross-country romantic relationship." I'm shocked by her reaction, asking quietly,
"So...are you saying you don't want to be with me any more?"
"If you're going to stay there...then yes, that's what I'm saying," she says harshly. "We should be done." Those four words echo in my head over and over, throughout the plane ride and through the hours after it when I arrive home.
I look over at the photo album on my dresser of the two of us ever since we were 8. Is she really willing to let 10 years of friendship fly out the window? Is she really done? My phone beeps, and I glance down at it to see a message from (y/n). "'I'm serious'," I read aloud. "'I can't do a long-distance relationship, no matter who it is... Have fun in Cali.'"
*Flashback Ended*
I haven't seen her since, haven't even come into contact with her. She apparently blocked me any way there was--on every social media site, through texting, and even email. At the time, I didn't think she was serious about it all.
To be more precise, I talked to her once after that. I got a message about six months ago saying that she would come to my game in Detroit, which rather shocked me. Guess she unblocked me.
I told every family member I could, excited beyond belief but nervous about who I'd come in contact with. (y/n) had grown up, just like me, and we were both changed since high school graduation.
At the pre-game practice I skated around the ice with more excitement than I'd had in a long while, and I even had a few guys ask me what was wrong. "Wrong?" I asked. "Nothing's wrong, my friend is coming to see me play! I haven't seen her since high school!"
At that they'd laugh about teenage crushes, but I ignored their taunts. I'd simply think about (y/n), and about all the wonderful things we did together...
*Flashback*
"He cut me!" I exclaim angrily, stomping inside with my hockey bag over my shoulder. "Coach cut me cause I hit somebody too hard!" Now, for a 12 year old hockey player, getting cut is the worst thing that could happen to you ever.
"Cam!" (y/n) squeals happily upon hearing my voice, but her smile fades when she runs into the living room to see me in tears. "You're crying! No, don't cry, please, that makes me upset. You shouldn't be sad, it's okay."
"It's not okay, (y/n)," I cry, swallowing hard as she hugs me tightly. "He cut me from the JV team--JV!"
"I understand," she says softly, "But you'll get another chance, especially if you explain yourself and apologize. That's what coaches like to hear, that you always want to do better. It makes them have more faith in you, and they give you second chances for things like this. I know he will." I think about her words, my tears drying.
Maybe I should explain, and ask what exactly I should do to do better, to be a better player. (y/n)'s always been the logical side while I've been the goofball. I'm into hockey but she swims. We're best friends despite our differences, which surprisingly draw us closer together.
"Wanna get ice cream?" She asks, pulling out a $20 with a smile. I dry my cheeks, nodding.
"No duh!"
*Flashback Ended*
Right before our game started I heard my phone go off in my bag, but I ignored it to focus on Coach's pep talk. I can check it after. Hockey comes before everything else.
I remember my first shift on ice I was terrified I'd mess up in front of (y/n), but I eventually got it together and strung together a goal and an assist, along with a penalty that I'd like to take back. Oops. He shouldn't have been in the way of my stick, that ignorant Red Wing... Oh well, the two minutes in the box wasn't that bad, since Perry ended up scoring the game-winning shortie.
*Flashback*
Did I mention we won 5-4? It was amazing, and after showering and changing into my suit I grab my bag and sticks and meet my mother outside the locker room. "Where's (y/n)?" I ask enthusiastically after I hug her, but she just shakes her head. My heart sinks. "She couldn't make it, I suppose...school stuff?"
My mother can't even get out the words, handing me her phone. "Voicemail," she chokes out, and I nodded, pressing play as I listen to it. My expression goes from confused to sad to horrified, and I replay the message several times before I hand it back to her.
"No," I breathe, my heart caught in my throat as I process the information. "She's a safe driver, she'd never get in a car accident. That--it's just a prank call."
"No, Cameron, it's true," she whispers. "She's gone." Tears come to my eyes, and I think about (y/n) holding me close and whispering kind things every time I was upset or whenever I cried. She was always there for me, and I took her for granted. Now no one can comfort my sorrows...nothing will ever be the same.
"No, no, she can't be dead," I gasp out, my throat swelling up with emotion. "She's still here, mom, she can't be--"
"Cameron!" She exclaims, her eyes red and puffy. "(y/n) is gone, you need to--" Before she can finish I sink to my knees on the ground, my face in my hands as I sob.
"How can it be?"
*Flashback Ended*
Now I have nothing. No one to hold, no one to hold me, no one to love. People tell me she watches over me, that she really is always there, but I can't feel her. I need her here on Earth, I need to hear her voice tell me she loves me one last time, I need her to tell me lame jokes until I smile wider than I was before...
I just can't accept that she's gone. She's really, simply...gone, and that's the brutal truth of it. I'll never forget her, never forgive the drunk driver that killed her, never give up on trying to get her back. I know she was destined to be my wife someday, a destiny interrupted.
(y/n). My one true love, waiting for me up above among choirs of singing angels, watching over me. I have to believe it, or else I'll go crazy. She's waiting for me. She's always there.
It's the only thing keeping me sane.