Steve's PoV
He knocked on the door, flattening down his uniform and taking a deep breath.
After a few moments, the door opened and Steve's jaw dropped. She was wearing the dress that she had worn over two years ago in the bar. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of her. The deep red dress hugged her figure, showing off her gorgeous curves without being risqué. The material fell perfectly, making it even more flattering. She looked gorgeous.
No, she looked flawless.
The smile that graced her lips when he met her gaze made his heart skip a beat. She was stunning. He wished he could draw her all the time - the woman who had stolen his heart - in an attempt to capture her beauty.
He grinned at her, his heart melting slightly as he looked into her eyes. Steve bowed slightly, holding out the flowers he had bought for her.
"Flowers for the lady," he said, smiling up at her.
"Why, thank you, kind Sir," Peggy replied, grinning.
She took the flowers from him and brought them inside, while Steve waited in the hallway, trying to calm his nerves. Peggy returned to the door shortly afterwards, purse and coat in hand. Steve took a step back to allow her out of the apartment and, like the eternal gentleman, let Peggy go first.
"Ready?" He asked as she stepped out of the apartment.
"I always am, Steve."
*
Once they had arrived at Murphy's and Steve had introduced Peggy and Seán, he left to bring their coats to the coat room. He headed back out of the main room and down a corridor to the right, getting lost in his thoughts.
"What would Bucky say if he saw me here with Peggy," Steve thought. "No doubt it would be somethin' bonkers, very inappropriate or down right embarrassin'," he chuckled quietly as he continued down the corridor. "If only he could."
Steve stopped where he was, putting his face in his hands, the coats over his arm. He had tried to put it out of his head, to forget what he had seen, but he couldn't.
"How was he there?! I saw him fall, dang it! He couldn't have survived it! No one could have. What happened? Why-" Steve cut himself off, sighing angrily as he moved his hands to his sides, fists clenched.
"No. He's dead. I saw him die," he said aloud. "This is just a sick joke. It has to be," he muttered to himself, pacing the corridor now.
Steve didn't understand. How could he? His mind went wild, thoughts flying left, right and centre. He was fed up of this. He was delusional. He had to be. It was the only thing that made sense.
He sighed, putting his hand in his head as he leaned against the orange wall. He needed to get out of his head. He brushed his hand through his hair and looked around him. He stood up quickly, looking down at the coats on his arm.
Damn.
He had forgotten where he was and was only realising that he was gone a lot longer than he should have been. Steve brought them to the coat room before rushing back to the bar. He took some deep breaths as he walked, calming himself down. He would deal with what had happened later. Right now, he just wanted to have a nice night and forget about it.
When he finally reached the main room again, he could see Seán and Peggy talking, but he couldn't hear what they were saying. He made his way over to them, sitting down on the stool beside Peggy when he got to them bar. He sighed, just wanting to get his mind off the mission.
*
As the band started playing "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong, the Captain turned to Peggy. He couldn't help but smile like a fool when he looked at her. Her eyes flickered over to him and she grinned back at him. That grin changed quite suddenly to a more serious face as her lips pursed and her eyes filled with worry and concern.
"How are you?" She asked.
Steve knew what she was asking behind that question, but he didn't want to talk about it yet, not here. He looked away from her and across the dance floor at the happy couples.
"I've been worse," he replied quietly.
"Steve, you know you can talk to me."
He knew she was still looking at him, he could feel her eyes watching him, but he couldn't bring himself to look back.
He should tell her. He should tell her how he thinks he's going crazy and how he doesn't know how to deal with what happened, but he just can't. The middle of Murphy's in a busy Friday night was neither the time, nor the place. Steve felt her hand on his arm. Her looked down at her hand before reluctantly meeting her gaze.
"What's wrong?"
"Well, I just got beat up and nearly killed by some punk who died over two years ago and I think I'm going crazy. Say! Did I mention that it was my best friend?" Steve thought to himself.
He took a deep breathing, looking down at his beer bottle and began picking at the label. He quickly came up with something else to say. Not to lie, but to just tell a half-truth.
"It's nothing. It's just the mission reminded me a lot of the war," he said, still not meeting her gaze, hoping that that would be the end of the conversation.
"Alright," she said quietly, removing her hand from his arm.
After a few moments of silence apart from the band, Steve set down his beer bottle. He decided that a dance with Peggy was well overdue and that needed fixing.
He stood up, moving over to her and held out his hand.
"Shall we dance?" He asked, grinning down at her.
She didn't move at first. She stayed where she was and looked at him.
"I don't know, Steve."
"Come on, Peg. I owe you a dance, remember?"
Peggy bit her lip, causing Steve's heart to jolt. He wanted to kiss her right then, to stop her from driving him crazy as she bit her lip, but knew where the line stopped and it was way before that.
She looked at the dance floor and then back to Steve before jumping up and taking Steve's hand.
"Alright," she said, smiling broadly up at him, causing him to smile goofily back.
Steve led Peggy to the dance floor, where she taught him some basic moves as "In the Mood" by Glenn Miller started playing. After a few stumbles, Steve and Peggy laughed at Steve, before laughing at themselves laughing. While everyone else kept dancing around them, Steve clutched at his sides trying to catch his breath as Peggy wiped away tears of laughter.
As the band started playing "Sing, Sing, Sing" by Benny Goodman, they tried again. This time, Steve felt more confident and threw in some moves that both Bucky and Howard had taught him on separate occasions. One of these occasions had taken up most of Steve's day before he collected Peggy. Of course, this was unknown to everyone apart from them, but Steve couldn't have gone dancing with Peggy and not be able to sweep her off her feet.
He loved dancing with her. It was one of the best things in the world. He wore the biggest and brightest smile possible which was mirrored on Peggy's face.
He twirled his best girl a few times and reeled her back in, earning a laugh from her. Just as the song was coming to an end he twirled her out and quickly pulled Peggy in close, before dipping her. As the crowd around them cheered for the band, he slowly lifted her back up, noting her reaction. She was in pure shock. Steve couldn't help but smile as "Moonlight Serenade" by Glenn Miller began playing softly in the background. He let his hands drop to her waist as he swayed them to the music. Peggy was still stunned, but after a few moments her hands moved up to his shoulders. She still wouldn't look him in the eye.
"You dipped me," she said quietly, not believing what had just happened.
Steve chuckled at her surprise. He glanced around the room and saw all the couples were the same as them; happy to be together.
"Yeah, I did," he said, looking back at Peggy. "Was that okay?" He asked, hoping he hadn't overstepped the mark.
"Yes. Yes, that was okay." She looked up at him, her eyes landing on his lips for a split second before reaching his eyes. "Just unexpected."
Steve leaned in close to her so that his mouth was next to her ear.
"You know, Bucky was a great dancer, as is Howard, but they're not as good at being my partner as you are," he whispered, causing them both the laugh quietly.
They danced together, completely content with the fact that they had had the chance to have their first dance, even if it couldn't lead anywhere.
Steve was happy he had waited. He might have been too late for it to work out like he wanted, but at least he had gotten a few dances with the right parter.
As "Blue Moon" by Glenn Miller began playing, Steve started thinking about what had happened during the war and how things turned out a lot differently than either of them could have imagined.
He never expected to fall in love, but he had also never expected to have that love snatched from his grasp.
His mind wandered to Sergeant Woods, wondering if he was making Peggy happy. He hoped so, but before he could stop himself, words came pouring out of his mouth.
"So you and Woods. You seem happy."
He mentally slapped himself. Why did he do that? He had probably just ruined the whole evening. Peggy took a moment before answering.
"We are," she said quietly, not meeting his gaze.
"Well done, Rogers," he scolded himself.
"Well, then so am I," he replied softly, smiling down at her, trying to convince himself that what he had said was true. Even if it wasn't he would make it so. He had to.
They were quiet for a moment, still swaying thanks to Steve. But soon Peggy broke the silence, along with Steve's heart.
"Steve, we're engaged."
Steve stopped swaying. His stomach dropped. He felt like time had slowed down as he was hit with her words.
For a moment he thought his heart had stopped in the carnage that was her last sentence. He couldn't breath. It felt like the shards of his shattered heart had lodged themselves in his lungs, preventing him from taking a decent breath. He could feel himself yelling against the pain of the impact inside, but it didn't show. He wouldn't let it. He managed to take a slow shallow breath, almost like a delayed gasp and his heart began beating again. He could hear it pounding in his head.
Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump.
As time sped up again, so did his heart. He must have heard her wrong. That was it, wasn't it? So then why was she looking at him like that? Like he was a puppy that she was about to abandon.
Then it hit him. Because it was true.
Steve's brain started going at 200 miles per hour. He looked around the room again as thoughts flew everywhere.
"What? What just happened? She's engaged that's what happened. But she doesn't wear a ring! That doesn't matter! This is what you get for crashin' into the ice. It's your own fault. What did you expect? Was Peggy supposed to sit around and mourn your death for the rest of her life? No! Of course not!"
He knew this wasn't a joke. He looked back to her, a lump forming in his throat. He felt him insides crumble as it truly hit him.
They would never be together.
He knew it was possible, but now it was set in stone.
He tried to smile, but failed miserably. He was happy for her, or at least he would make himself be. He held himself together only barely, clearing his throat and taking a deep breath.
"W-wow. Con-congratulations, Peg," he said, half smiling down at her.
She looked up at him, eyes filled with sadness. He pulled her in close and hugged her tight. He took another deep breath, putting on another fake smile as he pushed back his emotions.
"You eh..," he paused and sniffed back the tears that stung his eyes. He looked at her shoulder so he didn't have to look into her eyes. "You don't wear a ring," he said, swaying them slightly.
"I didn't want one," she said softly. "Scott has a tendency to go for something big and gaudy. I just wanted something plain and simple so I told him that a w-wedding band on the day would be much better than a massive rock," she finished, trying to get him to meet her gaze. "Steve," she said soothingly, finally getting him to look at her. He had his jaw set, using that to hold his emotions back. "You were gone," she said so quietly, it was almost inaudible to Steve.
He smiled down at her.
"I know. I'm so sorry for leaving you," he said just as quietly, his eyes filling with unwanted tears.
"You had no choice, Steve. I know that," she replied, pulling him into a hug and resting her face on his chest.
Steve wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. They stayed like that, swaying to the music as Steve tried to control his feeling. He took a deep breath, breathing in the vanilla scent of her soft hair.
"I'm so proud of you, Peggy," he whispered after a few moments.
Peggy pulled away, but only enough so that she could look up at him.
"For what?" She asked, raising an eyebrow,
He smiled sadly down at her.
"For moving on. I would never have been able-" he stopped himself, squeezing his eyes shut, biting back painful tears that threatened to escape at the thought of losing her.
"I wouldn't be proud of me if I were you," she said, leaning back into the hug.
This time it was Steve's turn to step back.
"Don't say that Peg-"
"Steve," she said softly, grabbing his attention. "I wouldn't say that because.." She paused and laughed sadly. "Because I did a bloody awful job."
"What do you mean? Sergeant Woods is a lovely fella. He's a gentleman and I was honoured to serve with him. Peggy, I saw the way you looked at each other. He adores you and I know you adore him," he paused, watching her eyes fill with tears. "You could have done a lot worse," he said softly, brushing away a single tear that fell down her face.
"I love Scott," she said, looking down at his jacket and away from his eyes. "Believe me, I do. He's perfect. He's everything a woman would want. And he love me. I just..."
"Peggy, what is it? You said it yourself, he's perfect, so why wouldn't I be proud of you for finding someone as great as him?! What's wrong?" He asked, raising his voice slightly, causing Peggy to snap back at him.
"He's not you!"