29 Weeks.
I have been in the hospital four weeks now, it feels like it has been forever. I am confined to this room and bed. I have bathroom privileges and that is it. I am cranky and miserable to be around. My blood pressure is stable as long as the keep my IV medication going, my ankles are still non existence, I am puffy everywhere and I look like shit.
"Rayalyn you really need to stop looking at twitter." My mother tells me from across the room. She knows me too well. I have been keeping tabs on Harry when he isn't here at the hospital with me. He comes every day, sometimes morning, afternoon or in the evening. I love when he comes in the evening because he always stays till I fall asleep.
"Mom I can't help it." I whine dropping my phone on to my bed and I look in her direction. She is sitting in Kyle's said chair knitting a baby blanket. I didn't even know that she could knit. "He looks happy." I say with a sigh.
There are pictures of him and Sarah out and about in the city, the ones that really caught my eye was the three of them at the Santa Claus parade. Which was just yesterday, I hated that I had to spend thanksgiving in here. My mom and Kyle had spent the day with me, Harry came in before I went to sleep.
My mom sighs and looks at me. "He cares for you as well."
"I know that mom. There are times when I want to fight for him, I want what they have......I want us to be a family.......but there are times like I don't want to ruin what he has. The light in his eyes when he is with them. That beautiful little boy." I say and I can feel pressure in my head starting to build as I am getting upset. I wipe away the tears that are fallen down my face. "I want that for her mostly." I cry as I run my hand over my growing stomach.
"Raya you need to calm down." she warns as my monitor for my BP starts to ring off, not seconds later my nurse comes through the door.
"Miss Anderson you need to take some deep breaths." She tells me as she looks over the monitors. She checks the fetal monitor second to make sure my little one is still happy in there. "Your blood pressure is higher right now that it has been in a few days. Is something upsetting you."
"No." I lie looking at the younger nurse. "I might have to sedate you." she tells me looking the numbers over again. "I am going to call the doctor on call."
I turn my head and notice my mother on her phone, she is texting someone.
"Harry is on his way." she tells me gathering her things up. "He seems to be the only thing that can calm you."
I sigh knowing she is right. As soon as I see him my body seems to relax. I am so in love with him. I just want him here with me all the time, but I don't push as I know he has other responsibilities.
My mother comes over and kisses my forehead. "I will see you in the morning Ray.....try to stay calm over night."
"I will......love you."
"Love you too sweetie. Harry will be here in a few minutes, he texted and said the car dropped him off and he is in the building."
"Okay." I tell her as she leaves my room. I run my hand over my belly. "You need to wake up little one so daddy can feel you kick today." I sigh and re adjust myself in this stupid hospital bed. I was so bored and tired of being in this stupid thing.
"Hi Ray."
I looked up and seen Harry rush in the door. He looked exhausted and stressed. His brow was furrowed and he forced a smile onto his face. He crossed the room and pulled up a chair at my bedside.
"What is wrong?" I ask knowing that something was up.
"What makes you think something is wrong?" he reaches for my hand and takes it in his.
"You are stressed." I looked at him as I reached my other hand up to cup his face, he leaned his hand into my face and sighed. "Tell me Harry."
He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter."
"Sure it does, if it is upsetting you than it matters." I tell him as I brush his curls back from his face.
He sighs. "It will upset you and I am not going to tell you. It won't happen anyway, there is no way I will let it happen."
I chuckle at him and his vagueness. "You are making me upset by not tell me."
He smirks at me. "Are you hungry?"
"Stupid question to ask." I roll my eyes at him and he laughs at me a little.
"Well I stopped by the bakery down the street from your apartment, the one you love." he pulls a brown paper bag of his man purse, is what I liked to call it, which always made him pretend he was upset with me.
"What did you bring me?"
"Cheesecake." He said as her presented me with the container. "Just for you and the baby."
"Thank you." I take it from him, opening it up and seeing the yummy goodness inside. It had fresh berries on top of it. I take a bite as soon as I open it. " mmmmmmh......so gooooood." I mumble as I shove another bite in my mouth. "You want a bite?" I ask. He is distracted with his phone.
"What?" He asks not looking up.
"Nothing." I say sitting the container down, I have lost my appetite. "You can go if you want too.....you don't need to stay."
"I want to." He mumbles still not looking away from his phone, he is typing a message. I am beyond upset with him at the moment. If he didn't want to come then he didn't have too. I reach over and grab his phone.
"Give it back." he says sternly looking at me.
"Who is so important that you have to keep messaging." I ask as I look at the flash on the screen of the incoming message. My heart sank as I read the message that his wife just sent him.
From Sarah.
"Cant wait for you to come back tonight.....I will be waiting, naked in the bedroom. xxoo can't wait to make another baby with you."
I handed the phone back to him and didn't say anything, I knew he was married. He never indicated we were going to get back together. I just hoped and wished that it would happen.
"Why are you even here?" I ask softly not wanting to get upset.
"Because I care."
"Harry you can go back to London if you want. Take your family and go back home. I will be fine, this baby will be fine. I think it is better for you. Obviously you and Sarah are happing since your trying for baby number 3 technically."
"We are not trying.....she is just saying those things in hope that you see them and get upset. She wants you to lose this baby......our baby. She wants us to live happily ever after, which isn't going to happen considering that I am in love with you." He looks at me, his emerald eyes shining. "She threatened me that she would take Grayson away from me, which I know she can't. I am a good dad, I have money for the best lawyers.....but she said if I don't stay with her she will cause you trouble because you are a recovering drug addict......she would try to make them see you unfit and take the baby from you so we could raise it."
"What the fuck.....is that what you want. Do you want to raise my baby with her!?" I say as my voice raises and my anger is getting the best of me. I can't believe that just came out of his mouth. "You don't love me."
"You know that isn't what I want, I will never let it happen." He said back to me with sternness is his voice. "Don't tell me I don't love you when I fucking do." He spat as his hands grabbed my face and he pulled me to him, his lips crashing against mine. It had been months since I felt his soft lips against mine. He sighed into the kiss as we both accepted what was happening, his tongue found mine and moved softly against mine. I cupped his face as we continued to kiss. It was amazing.
I pulled him to me, he was now lying on the bed next to me, I lifted one of my legs up on his hip and pulled him even closer, I could feel ever inch of my body heating up. I ran my fingers through his softy curls as I continued to kiss his lips, never breaking the contact.
Harry pulled back and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" I asked breathless.
"Did you not feel that?" He asked placing his hand on my stomach, then I realized what he was talking about. Someone was awake and kicking the crap out of me. "I felt her on my stomach." He grinned as she kicked where his hand was. "Hi baby girl." he said rubbing the spot she just kicked.
"She is awake." I smiled as I watched him become completely interested in the little monster "She is kicking up a storm."
He moved off of the bed and sat back down in the chair, pulled my t shirt up over my stomach and placed his lips softly on the exposed skin.
"Hi baby.....this is daddy." he said softly to my stomach. "Your mummy here is beautiful.....you are going to love her. She is going to be such an amazing mummy to you. I can't wait to meet you.....I hope you look like her as I just said she was beautiful."
The baby kicked his hand again. Harry laughed lightly, he had a huge smile on his face. "I think you are going to get on well with your Uncle Naill and Uncle Louis, you feel like you might make an excellent football player. I am sure they will both try to teach you."
I smile at him, he smiles up at me.
"I love you Ray." he says softly. "I am going to make things right."
"I Love you too Harry." I lean towards him and brush my lips up against his. "Are you going to leave her?"
He sighs and looks at me. "Just give me time to figure it out."
I nod my head and take his hand in mine. I reach for the remote control and turn the tv on. I didn't want to talk about this any more as it just upsets me. I would have to trust in Harry to do the right thing.