"If you get up from this chair, Darlin', without finishing your food- I will spank you like a child. Do you understand me? Eat your fucking meal before I lose it."
I stared with wide eyes up at Zayn, who towered over me, his arms outstretched on either side of me, preventing escape.
"W-what?" I whispered softly.
"Do you need me to repeat myself, Darlin'?" He snapped, his face turning into a sneer. Even with such an ugly expression, Zayn still managed to look beautiful.
"I. Will. Spank. You. I will take you over my knee and lay into you if you don't eat your food." He taunted angrily. I immediately shrunk back from his threat.
"You promised." I muttered quietly. My hands trembled as I brought them up to touch Zayn's face.
"What the bloody hell are you going on about?" He caught my wrist roughly in his hand, bringing my touch away from him.
"You-you promised me that you would never lay a hand on me again. You promised... Remember, three strikes?" I clasped my other hand over his. He narrowed his eyes down at me.
"I remember, but all that bollocks went out the window you tried to leave me and move back to the States!" He shouted, pushing my hands off of him roughly and slamming his fist down. I flinched back.
"I swear to you that I will take care of you. I won't injure you, I'll keep you healthy, I'll protect you, I'll keep you happy, but I'll be damned if I let you sit there and go on a hunger strike because you're pissed at me." He snarled, pacing back and forth before me.
"Zayn, if you treat me like this- like an incapable child- I don't know if I'll be able to forgive you." I informed him, my eyes looking everywhere but at his. I heard a dark laugh escape his lips, making it hard to keep my fearful yet curious gaze downwards.
"You think I don't know that you hate me? I don't give a damn anymore! I used to want you to love me, to be with me, to be my girl, but now I just have to keep you safe and this is the only way I know how to take care of you. So I don't give three shits if you hate me- I'll get over it." He shouted loudly. I felt tears brim over from my eyes.
"You-you think I hate you? Zayn, I could never, ever hate you- no matter how hard I try. And believe me, I've tried. After that first time you took me out, I wanted to hate you. After you beat me in the alley when I tried to pull you off of Andrew, I wanted to hate you. But for some messed up reason- I couldn't." I cried out, pulling my feet up on my chair so I could bring my knees to my chest.
"And now, you know, after how we were. After how you were... I keep thinking about how well we fit together and how, despite all of this, I just want to be with you and I HATE myself for it, but I can't hate you ever. Never." He looked down at me and chewed his lip, the adorable, nervous habit he constantly displayed.
"Darlin', I need you to please eat and please let me take care of you. I need you to just listen to me. This isn't up for debate. You promised me, too." He decided finally. His voice was softer, less harsh, but still held the ring of authority to it.
"I-I won't eat, Zayn," I crossed my arms over my chest, "not until you give me freedom."
"Why won't you let me take care of you?" He muttered, kneeling in front of me so that we were eye-level.
"Because I can't let you just control everything. I can't let you just control me. I don't want to be here with you right now." I finally regained the steadiness in my voice. I still had to wipe tears with the back of my sleeve but at least I didn't sniffle or cry like I was doing before.
"You just said that-"
"I want to be with you. I did say that, but I can't be with you right NOW. I am angry with you and I want nothing more to punch you in the face." He stood up and looked amused at my honest and calm answer.
"Why are you angry with me?" He smirked, crossing his arms over his chest, his muscles flexing.
"Because."
"Because?"
"Do you really have to ask that? Zayn, you defended the man who raped my best friend, you're holding me here captive AND you threatened to SPANK me! I'm allowed to be angry with you."
"And you have every right to be angry with me, but my threat still stands." He determined, leaning back against the countertop again. We glared at each other for another moment. Silence enveloped the kitchen, neither of us willing to give in. I let out a reluctant sigh. If we were going to be stuck here all night, might as well start a conversation.
"S-so, if I'm gonna stay here with you, then I gotta get that finance intern job interview at that firm lined up." I mutter, pretty much against my will. Zayn looks at me through narrowed eyes.
"You think I'm going to let you step foot out of this flat, nonetheless get a job? Darlin', I want you to be happy but I know that the second I give you freedom, you're outta here. You're going to run away and leave me here." He spoke slowly, watching my reaction cautiously.
"I won't run. Zayn, I have nowhere else to go. Even if I could make it to the airport, I don't have enough cash on me to by a third class ticket." He thinks this over, his eyes glancing up at the ceiling in thought.
"Even if I had a place to go, I'm not quite sure if I'd want to leave..." I added in, pretty much against my own will. His eyes snapped back to me.
"I can take care of you." He whispered. I glanced down at my food and then back up at him.
"I know, but I can take care of me too." I added in.
"I'll call Niall or one of the guys to pick up your clothes and whatever you have left at your flat." He mumbled, fishing out his cell phone. I saw the ends of his mouth go up as he tried to resist the urge to smile. He started to move towards the other room so he could make his phone call.
"And Darlin'," he paused in the doorway, "My threat still stands. Eat your food." I watched him walk away, disappearing into the other room.
"Hey man," I heard him greet.
"Nah, I got her. She's good." He laughed at something said on the other line.
"Mate, we'll head out and take care of that shit tomorrow night, yeah? Been a while since I've done a job like that."
"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. Make sure all the other lads know about it too, yeah?"
"Thanks man. D'you think you could do me a favor?" More deep chuckles.
"Not that kind of favor, mate, get your head out of the gutter- you sound like a fucking school boy."
"I just need you and one of the guys to go to Hannah's place and fetch her shit. She's moving in."
"Yeah, drop it off whenever. But Niall, do me a favor and ask either Liam or Louis. I don't want Harry coming around Hannah anytime soon." More chuckles.
"It's not him I'm worried about. She'd kill 'im, mate. I've no doubt about that."
"Thanks again. You too." Silence. I waited a moment before I heard his footsteps come closer. I pushed out of my chair and placed my plate in the sink. I turned around just in time to watch him come into the kitchen.
"Niall said that he'd go fetch your..." I met Zayn's eyes, which instantly narrowed at me. His jaw clenched as he looked at me.
"Are you fucking serious?!" He yelled at me. I winced at how loud and angry his voice got.
"Zayn, I'm not-"
"What the fuck did I just tell you?! Huh?! Didn't I fucking tell you to eat your damn food?" He stormed over to me, his tone harsh. I put my hands up to brace against his chest, keeping as much distance between us as I could.
"I don't understand what the big deal is! It's just food!" I argued back, never one to take it lying down. He curled up his fist and tried to breathe in.
Suddenly, his fist hit the drywall next to me. I let out a small yelp in surprise.
"The big deal, Darlin', is that you won't listen to a damn thing I tell you. You don't fucking know how to take orders. I told you to eat your food and you didn't. That's what the fucking big deal is!" He lowered his voice so that he was no longer yelling. The menacing edge was still there though.
"Well you know me, Zayn. You knew that I wasn't about to take fucking orders from you. Did you think I would actually sit there and eat just because you threatened me? That's rich." I sneered, ducking under his arm so I could walk away.
Just as I tried to do that, though, Zayn caught my torso. I panicked for a second, but Zayn didn't hurt me. He just held me, tilted like I was.
"You can't run from me." He snarled. He dragged me over to the table roughly. I tried to fight against him, but I knew it was of no use. Zayn always managed to get me, grab me, hold me, whatever.
He slammed me against the wall and tilted my head back. I started to tremble at his violence, knowing damn well that in the past he's taken it too far.
"I don't understand why you can't just eat your damn food." He growled, forcing my mouth open. I tried to kick and struggle against his hold, but he ignored my fighting easily.
I tried to protest, but the only sound that came out of my mouth were moans and unrecognizable grunts. Zayn gripped my jaw tightly, not allowing me to close my mouth at all. In fact, I couldn't move any part of my head with his iron grip.
"I won't let you starve yourself." He continued harshly as he grabbed a handful of food on my plate. I allowed the building tears in my eyes to overflow down my cheeks. He forced the food into my mouth and then immediately clamped my lips together.
I tried to open my mouth again to spit it out, but Zayn's hold was too tight.
"Swallow it." He commanded sternly. I can't understand how he can just look at me while I'm crying and trembling. How can he just stand there and watch that? I guess he truly is cold-hearted.
I reluctantly swallowed the food, choking on it a little. Zayn let me go when I started a coughing fit but then grabbed me again and forced another handful of food down. After repeating it about three or four times, he finally let me go.
Immediately, I collapsed to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.
"I won't let you starve yourself," he repeated, "I'll do that every meal if I have to." I struggled to stand up, but ignored the outstretched hand offering to help me. As soon as I stood, he offered me a glass of water, to help with the coughing.
The rough way he forced food down my throat had me choking a little. I swallowed and swallowed, refusing to take the water. Finally, he had enough and shoved it in my face.
I took it from him, but immediately flicked my hand in his direction, causing the water to be thrown out of the glass and onto his face. Before he could respond, I slammed the cup down on the table. I stormed out of the kitchen, ignoring him as he called my name.
Just as I was about to enter the guest bedroom, I flipped him off, and then slammed the door shut.
The rest of the night, I stayed locked up in the guest bedroom. Sometime around eight I heard Liam and Niall come drop off my stuff from my apartment, but Zayn made no move to come and get me.
I guess we both needed some space.
When I was finally tired, I stripped down to my undies and got under the covers. I was lying in bed for hours, literally, but sleep never came. I kept tossing and turning, switching from lying on my left side to lying on my right side and onto my back, never being able to find a comfortable position.
Besides that, I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about Zayn. I mean, how dare he just treat me like he can control me? Asshole.
I heard Zayn's heavy footsteps down the hall at about 1 a.m, causing me to perk up a little to listen. I waited until I heard the sound of his door shut and then I lay back down and tried to fall asleep.
Nothing.
Nothing at all. No sleep. Not even a ten minute dozing off.
I decided on a bold move. I slipped out of my bed, yes only in my underwear and bra, and left my room. I crept down the hall, not really sure where to go. I guess I could try to escape, but I didn't really want to.
But then again, the fire escape is sealed off and the elevator is deactivated.
I padded softly into the kitchen, but immediately spun around and walked back out. My cheeks flushed just at the memory from earlier this evening.
I found myself in the TV room. I guess I could have put on a movie or something, but I didn't feel like it to be honest. I didn't know if it was because I didn't want to wake Zayn or if I just wasn't in the mood.
I turned back around and headed towards the hall again. This time, I didn't turn into the guest room like I should have. This time, I slowly put my hand on the doorknob.
What am I doing? The thought crossed my mind but it wasn't enough to make me stop. It wasn't enough to prevent me from turning it slowly and stepping inside. I bit my lip as carefully walked towards his bed.
Zayn was in the shower. The bed was still made with no one in it.
For some reason, something inside me compelled me to climb under the covers. I curled up there, instantly feeling better.
In no time I was coming in and out of consciousness. Sleep was so close, I could feel it. My eyes were shut and my breathing slowed. The only way I knew I wasn't sleeping was because I could hear Zayn in the bathroom.
Turning off the shower.
Fumbling around in the cabinets.
Flushing the toilet.
Opening the door.
I didn't even realize it but my breathing stopped when Zayn opened the door. I heard his wander around the room for a couple minutes, opening drawers and sliding on his boxers. I made no move to acknowledge him. I decided my best bet was to pretend I was asleep.
I heard him walk up to the side of the bed I was lying in. The bed dipped down next to my waist as he sat down.
I stiffened once I felt his fingers trail along my cheekbone.
"Beautiful. You're so, so beautiful, Darlin'." He murmured before getting up. I heard him shuffle around to the other side of the bed and climb in. I kept my back faced towards Zayn as he got comfortable.
I stiffened even further when I felt his hand rest on my lower back protectively. After a moment of waiting for Zayn to move his hand, I allowed myself to grow comfortable at his touch. He started to rub circles, his fingers gently scratching right in between my shoulder blades. I couldn't help but let a small smile grace my features.
Zayn didn't even realize that I was awake, but his attempt at comfort felt so good.
I rolled over a little, causing him to completely remove his touch from my back in surprise. I waited another moment before turning to him completely. My gaze met his shocked eyes.
"I couldn't sleep." I whispered.
"I gathered that," he answered quietly. We stared in each other's eyes. You'd think it'd be all romantic, but it really wasn't. I think we were just too tired to really process much.
"I'm sorry." I shut my eyes and scooted a little closer to him. Our chests were touching and our legs entangles.
"So am I." He responded, wrapping his strong arms around me and pressing my body flush against his. I curled into him willingly, allowing his body to envelop mine. I reached up and pressed my lips to his softly, and only once. Just a small peck, but it caused him to freeze up in surprise.
I didn't linger. I brought myself away from his face and nuzzled me face back into his warm chest. He tugged the blanket up around my neck.
And that's where I fell asleep. Safe in his arms.