Harry
I was gritting my teeth and wincing in absolute agony as Tom drove the winding, bumpy roads to this apparent safe-house Harvey had promised us. Ethan kept eyeing me out of the corner of his eye and when he wasn't looking so damned concerned, he was glaring at Harvey, baiting him to make any sudden moves.
I wanted to cry when Harvey instructed Tom to turn off of this already tumultuous road onto an even shabbier one. I had most definitely broken a rib – maybe two. I could see Tom was trying to drive as carefully as possible but his attempts were futile. I would still be in agony even if I was in the comfiest bed in the world right now. My energy seemed to have become non-existent since we started driving. I was assuming the initial adrenaline at getting out of Hugh's house as fast as possible had been very short term.
My head was resting against Ethan's shoulders in an act of comfort but to be frank, it was the most uncomfortable position I could be in right now. The pressure in my chest was relentless and my shot arm was in agony.
I knew that the comfort wasn't for me, though. He had just watched me die and come back to life. He was the one who needed this physical, reassuring contact.
I had thought I would feel more badass about rising from the dead like Jesus or the zombies in The Walking Dead. But I was being a wimp – the pain was overbearing. I could be badass tomorrow.
"Welcome home, boys!" Harvey cried as we left the brambles and mess of trees and arrived onto the grounds of fucking Downton Abbey.
The house was huge – it wasn't even a house, it could have been a hotel. It had old stone walls that gave it character and ivy climbing towards the roof. The grounds were manicured and magnificent. Where the holy fuck were we?
I tried to sit up to get a better view of the place but a hiss escaped my mouth at the movement. My limbs seemed to have gotten heavier too – my neck was like lead.
"We need to get him some medical attention," Ethan instructed in a no-nonsense tone, not acknowledging where we were.
"Relax Ethan – I'm fine," I lied. Wow – I never realised how much energy I needed to talk. You never appreciate the given things in life until it's made ten times harder to do. I always dream of the good old days whenever I have colds. Blocked noses make you appreciate your life with your perfectly unblocked nose, able to smell and taste everything.
My mind was wandering – where had I been going with this? I was beginning to notice a stabbing pain at the back of my head, too. I was choosing to ignore it, though. Ethan was worried enough as it was. I would say it quietly to the doctor when I got there.
I knew myself that I was a drama-queen at the simplest of injuries. I craved the attention and milked every ounce of sympathy and help from people. That was because I knew that there was nothing to truly worry about. It was just a bit of fun – always the joker.
But when I was truly injured – when Ethan got that look in his eye – I felt compelled to hide it. I didn't want to worry him and I didn't want to worry myself. My tactics were going against me though. He knew that the quietness meant I was hurting. The lack of jokes meant my mind was screaming.
"Like hell you're fine," Ethan growled, easing me off of his shoulder gently.
"I'll get a wheelchair to the car pronto – don't fret!" Harvey said dramatically, running from the car and up the steps to the grand entrance of this super-mansion.
"This place is a nice change from the shithole we've been living in the past few months, eh Ethan?" I tried to joke lamely, my laugh falling flat at the stabbing in my chest. Jesus, who would have known that ribs were motherfuckers when they wanted to be?
I was beginning to feel extremely tired but not like a tiredness I'd felt before.
Ethan looked at me with a knowing expression, completely ignoring my hilarious joke. "How many?"
"How many what?"
"Ribs."
"You'll have to specify."
Ethan sighed in annoyance, his worry and shock leaving little tolerance for my humour. Humour I was grasping at to stay sane through the pain. My arm was beginning to go numb and that was scaring me.
"How many do you think you've broken?"
I rolled my eyes. "How can I know that? I'm not a fucking doctor. I might not have even broken any." My voice was getting droopy.
"You definitely have," Tom piped up.
"Shut up, Tom," I grumbled.
"How's your arm?" Ethan asked, his eyes looking out of the window of the car, presumably for the wheelchair Harvey was bringing to mortify me with. I didn't have the energy to argue about it, though. I also doubted I could walk, which was another useful factor.
"Fine."
"Harry."
I sighed. "It's going numb."
"Right, that's it. How long does it take to get a fucking wheelchair?" With that, Ethan stormed from the car and bounded up the steps of the house. He was being an erratic idiot – a nice change for me. Normally it was me who was being the idiot. Take today's events as an example. I was a pro at idiocy!
What if they were in there with loaded guns, waiting to kill him? What if they had rigged the place to explode when he entered? What if – oh, I could see him through the front window, arguing with a sheepish looking guy. Never mind – he was fine.
That was annoying. If it was me who had run in all dramatically like that, this definitely would have been a trap and I would have been labelled the idiot once more. But no, since it was Ethan who ran in 'heroically', it's all worked out perfectly.
Typical.
"You're in a bad way," Tom pointed out.
"Wow, thanks for pointing out the obvious Tom!" I rested my head against the neck rest, feeling like the whole car was spinning slightly. I was secretly freaking out – I was deteriorating and even I could admit that.
Tom didn't even flinch at my retort.
"It's... nice that you try and hide it from him to stop him worrying. Honourable," he said carefully.
I frowned, waiting for a 'but'. It never came, though.
"Oh. Well, thanks." I replied awkwardly. I hated when people I disliked complimented me. Even if they had just risked their own lives by saving mine.
Ethan finally emerged from the building, a wheelchair held in his arms. He was going to trip himself if he kept running like that. It made me feel nice, though. Knowing this was for me. This urgency and panic. The worry was appreciated.
He flung open the back door and reached in to get me.
"I'm not a fucking invalid, Ethan! I can get out myself," I muttered as I attempted to shuffle along the seat to get out. My vision went blotchy as I tried to move but I ignored it. After a strained thirty seconds where I eventually gave up and allowed Ethan and Tom to help and lift me, I was out and onto the wheelchair.
Ethan started wheeling me towards the main entrance immediately. I had been about to question how we were going to get the wheelchair up the stone steps but before I could, Tom was in front of me, lifting me from the front while Ethan lifted the chair from the back.
I remained silent. I wasn't embarrassed anymore – my mind was clouding and nothing was breaking the surface. My ribs were fucking killing me too, making any attempt at speech during this journey impossible. I started prodding my injured arm with my left arms fingers, feeling nauseous at the lack of feeling.
That wasn't a good sign. I prayed that there was a doctor in this place. Harvey surely wouldn't have taken us here if there wasn't – right?
"Go straight down that hallway and take a left. Then keep following that hall until you come to the end – the ward is right there!" The guy Ethan had been arguing with had a shake to his voice. Obviously Ethan had put the fear of God into him.
"Tell Harvey we couldn't wait – that we're down there," Ethan responded without looking back.
I didn't get a chance to take in my surroundings as Ethan jogged along the corridors, wheeling me silently. Tom was in front, his gun securely in his hand. I didn't know why he still had that thing out. If they were going to kill us they were going to kill us! We were on their territory now – there was nowhere to run or hide.
My vision started getting even blurrier and out of focus and I felt wetness along my side. Weakly, I reached over to feel it.
Blood.
Between my broken ribs and my shoddy stitching finally giving up, it was too much on my body. I couldn't remember when I had drank or eaten last, either.
"We're almost here, Harry. Keep your eyes open," Tom instructed, looking back at me.
"Are his eyes closed?" Ethan asked, picking up the pace.
"Not yet. They're closing, though," Tom shouted over his shoulder.
I wanted to open my mouth and tell Ethan I was fine. I had been able to do that easily back in the car, hadn't I? Why in the matter of a few minutes had my condition deteriorated so much?
I was crashing. That was why. I hadn't slept, eaten or drank in I don't know how long. I had broken ribs at the very least and a gunshot wound that was probably infected. My decline was bound to be sharp and ruthless.
"Harry!" Tom roared again. I hadn't even realised my eyes were closing. I pried them open, feeling like I was on the brink of sleep and being jolted awake every couple of seconds.
"I can see the doors – we're almost there. Baby keep your eyes open!" Ethan cried desperately.
It was futile, though. I couldn't stay awake. I was so tired. So fucking tired that not even Ethan could keep me awake.
I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
- -
"The surgery... he should be... no long-term... very lucky..."
Everything was black but I could hear voices. Coming in waves, penetrating the silence. I wanted to open my eyes but couldn't. Was I dead? I would be so pissed off if I was dead.
I felt something warm touch my hand – it was another hand. It was squeezing mine, stroking it with their thumb.
Ethan.
Why wouldn't my eyes open? Oh shit – was I blind? That was just fucking great. I was blind and I'd never get to see Ethan again. I wouldn't be a spy. I'd just be average. An average disabled person who Ethan would get bored of. Who I would get bored of. How was I going to truly enjoy a James Bond film again if I couldn't see the sheer creative genius?
Suddenly white light exploded into the blackness.
"His pupils are dilating to the light so that's a good sign. He should wake up any time," a foreign voice said. The doctor?
Wait, that meant I wasn't blind. Okay – I wasn't blind.
Wait, maybe that wasn't the doctor. Maybe it was Jesus. Oh shit, please don't be Jesus. I wasn't ready to go to Heaven yet! I had so much more to fulfil – I hadn't even gotten to properly see the inside of the Downton Abbey look-a-like! I'd always wanted to stay in a pre-modern mansion!
I heard sniffles. "What if he... he... never wakes?"
That was definitely Hugh. His accent and the sobbing were clear indicators. I would have to slap him when I woke up and tell him to man up in future.
"That is... unlikely."
The hand holding mine suddenly squeezed harder. It actually kind of hurt a little.
"Wait – you mean there is a chance?" Ethan's voice sounded strange. It sounded crackly, exhausted and sad.
"Well, there's a chance with anything in life. But I'm telling you, the odds are completely in his favour. I'm confident he will make a full recovery and that we caught the infection on time. The only worry is when he hit his head when he fell after being shot – the bleed to the brain has been dealt with, though."
Bleed to the brain? I then remembered the stabbing pain at the back of my head.
"But not certain?" the sadness in his voice was killing me.
I would wake up. Fuck that doctor – he didn't know me! I was Harry Taylor. I was a fucking badass. I rose from the dead once. I would do it again.
"Oh God! This is my fault!" Hugh burst into tears and my other hand was suddenly grasped by his. I would kill my brother when I woke up.
I wanted to scream that I could hear them. But along with my eyes, my voice refused to work. Even my hearing was starting to suffer again.
"Hugh... dramatic... supportive..."
The voices started getting muffled again. No! I was fading away again, back into oblivion.
And then, it was blackness again.
- -
"... do you understand me?... get through this... love you... can't lose you..."
Tiny hints of words and sounds were breaking their way into my head. After a couple of seconds of thinking I was dead and blind again, I realised where I was and who was whispering to me.
Ethan's hand was still in mine. I didn't know how long had passed since the last time I had come-to though. Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks?
This time, I wouldn't fade back into the oblivion. The terrifying oblivion I didn't know I would wake from. I refused to be stuck in my own head. It was driving me insane that I couldn't reach out and caress his cheek and promise him that it would all be okay.
I felt different now however in comparison to the last time. His voice was clearer and I could actually feel the warmth of his hand.
"Stop being so dramatic Harry and wake up. I won't stand for this – it's been eight days you son of a bitch. I'm so tired – exhausted. I can't sleep without you beside me. Without knowing that you're able to wake up, too. Just... just open your eyes."
I was slowly getting some form of feeling back in the rest of my body. Beforehand it had merely been my hands but now, I could twitch my toes and I could feel the pressure of Ethan's head resting on my stomach.
Time meant nothing to me. I didn't know how little or long it finally took me to flutter my eyelids. When I opened my eyes halfway I had to shut them again from the glare of the bedside lamp.
It was the middle of the night it seemed. I opened my eyes slowly, allowing them to adjust to light I hadn't seen in days. Staring at the ceiling, I waited another few moments before attempting to move my head. Jesus, I had hit it hard. I winced as pain shocked through me from the small movement but it was worth it.
Ethan was beside me, his head lolled back on the chair he was sitting in, sleeping. His appearance was gaunt. Dark circles under his eyes, pale as a ghost and he even looked thinner. He had been through hell.
I hadn't anticipated how serious my injuries were. On the way to this place in the car, I had assumed I would have some minor treatment and be brand new in a few weeks. I didn't anticipate being in a fucking coma or whatever this was for over a week.
I stared at Ethan as he slept, tingles rushing through my veins as I took in the sight of him. I had thought for a while that I would never see his face again. It was overwhelming.
I was in a hospital room but I was sure this wasn't a hospital. I was assuming I was still in the mansion. I had vague memories of being in the wheelchair, rushing to some doors.
There were monitors all around me and I had needles sticking into me from everywhere. I didn't even want to think about what was going on below the belt.
I stared at Ethan for half an hour or so, not wanting to wake him from the well-needed rest he was having. I wondered when was the last time he had slept before this.
He suddenly stirred, his head jolting to the side in what seemed to be panic.
"No... no!" he mumbled. He was having nightmares again. "Please – not him! NO!"
I reached over in what was a strained move, tapping his knee has hard as I could. My arms were sore from disuse.
He jumped up when I hit him again, his eyes wild and bloodshot. He scrambled up into a standing position, looking for the source of who had woken him. He looked terrified. What had he been dreaming about?
When his eyes met mine they filled with tears instantly.
"You're awake," he whispered, sitting down again instantly as his knees buckled. His chair was pulled in as close as possible to my bed and his hands found mine.
"Yeah – I needed that sleep-in. I was exhausted," I joked, trying to stop the tears from spilling from his eyes. He didn't have to be sad anymore. It hurt me more than these physical wounds to see him in such pain.
His tears fell anyway and he dropped his forehead onto my stomach, a muffled sob filling the room. I ran my fingers through his hair and urged my own tears away. They were determined to fall too, however.
"Has it really been eight days?" I whispered.
His reddened eyes met mine as he lifted his head. "How did you know that?"
"I could hear you. Sometimes – I mean twice."
He let out a shaky breath. "You heard me?"
I nodded, not knowing if I should have disclosed that information to him. He was so vulnerable.
"That must have been awful. So terrifying..." More tears fell.
"No," I half-lied, "It was nice to hear your voice."
We looked at each other for a couple of seconds, not talking. We didn't have to speak to know what we were thinking. My lips twitched and he brought his eyes to them.
Leaning in slowly he kissed me softly, trailing his thumb along my cheek and jaw, as if I were made of glass.
"I love you," I said quietly when his lips left mine. He started crying again. "What's wrong?" I asked urgently, lifting his head so his eyes could meet mine again. I would have thought that saying 'I love you' would be a good thing.
"I... I never thought I'd hear you say that again. I thought... We never thought you'd hit your head. I never... I'm sorry..." he gushed out.
"Don't you dare apologise to me. Ethan, don't you ever apologise. Going back to that house was my decision, made in a panicked moment. The person who did this to me," I pointed to the new, neat stitches on my arm, "is the person who is to blame. Okay?"
He closed his eyes and nodded.
"When can I get out of here?" I asked after a few moments silence. Ethan was nearly on top of me in the bed, leaning out of his chair as much as he could.
Ethan laughed. It came out weird, as if he had forgotten how. "You've just woken up, Harry. Give it some time."
"I'm sick of being in this fucking bed!"
"I wish you had that mentality back at the agency when we had to go for our morning jogs," he muttered with a small smirk.
I grinned at how the smile brightened his face. It made the dark circles look less striking.
"I need to get the doctor in here to check you out," Ethan said suddenly, moving away to get up and leaving me cold.
"No! Don't go!" I urged.
"Harry –,"
"No, please... Just... lay beside me for a while. Please. I'm fine – look at me! I'm the same Harry I was eight days ago, give or take. The only medicine I need is you."
He looked torn. I moved over in the already big bed, leaving room for him. The movement seemed to help him make his mind up and he climbed in beside me instantly, moving the tubes that were stuck in me aside so he didn't compromise them.
He snuggled into me, pulling the blankets over him and kicking his shoes off. I let out a long breath at the relief that filled me with his arms wrapped around me.
"What is it? Am I hurting you?" he asked worriedly.
"No. The complete opposite of hurting me," I replied, stroking his arm that was wrapped around me.
He kissed my neck twice, his hot breath leaving tingles.
We just lay there, dropping kisses on each other and mumbling 'love you's'.
After a couple of minutes his breathing changed and I knew he was asleep. I was so content and happy, considering where I was. But it didn't matter where I was. It was who I was with.
I didn't sleep. I wasn't tired and I also wanted to be there if Ethan had any more night terrors. It worried me so much that they were back. They only came when we were just about to go out on a mission or when he was so stressed and scared, his emotions started seeping into his dreams.
After a few hours, when the sun had come up, the door to the room opened quietly and slowly. I braced myself for the doctor. I hated doctors. I hated being tested on.
Instead, Hugh's head popped around the door. He looked tired too.
When he saw that Ethan was in the bed with me he got a shock. But when he saw that my eyes were open he nearly shit himself.
"Oh my God you're awake! HE'S AWAKE!" Hugh shouted down the hallway behind him before bounding into the room, tears already streaming down his cheeks with a huge soppy smile on his face.
"Keep it down for fuck's sake! Ethan's sleeping!" I muttered with a glare. It was a nice glare, though. It was a glare that said 'hey older brother, I've missed you'.
"Not anymore, he's not," Ethan mumbled, moving his head from where it had been tucked against my neck.
Hugh was nearly hopping on the spot, staring at me as if I were made of diamonds.
"Can I hug you?" he asked suddenly, moving to hug me fast, in case I said no. I had been about to tell him to be careful before he practically jumped on top of me. I heard a tube or a wire snap somewhere from his roughness and I sighed. Here we go.
A machine started beeping erratically, making Ethan jump up to check that I was still breathing and Hugh untangling himself from me and the wires, looking sheepish.
A nurse came running in, panic on her face before she saw I was awake. She ran straight out for the doctor. I knew then that the time for peace and quiet was over.
The doctor arrived in a few minutes later, followed by Harvey and Jennifer. They both looked like proud parents. Jennifer had a tissue in her hand, patting the edges of her eyes.
"You've finally decided to wake up, Harry!" Harvey proclaimed.
I didn't reply and waited for them to explain to me what exactly the current situation was.
"Well, once Dr Rushman checks you out here and makes sure you're A-Okay, we'll get down to business. I hope you enjoyed your sleep – the time for rest is nearly over," Harvey said with a wink.
I looked to Ethan who seemed to be mentally bracing himself. We were on new territory now. Allies who apparently had the same objective as us – take down Michael Taylor and all known associates and burn them to the fucking ground.
And I couldn't wait.
The LONG AWAITED Chapter Nineteen is finally here!! I can't even tell you how busy I've been the past two months but I still know that it's no excuse to have not posted in so long – I'm realllllllly sorry!! Also, Wattpad wasn't allowing me post a new part of this through my laptop, I emailed them but got the idea to try and do it through my iPad before they replied and voile!
What are your predictions for the upcoming chapters? Will another loved character meet their doom I wonder...
Anyway, I'm really sorry once again for the wait and Chapter Twenty will be up much quicker than this one was!
The photo is of poor Ethan, looking tattered, bruised and exhausted, worried about his man! :(
Also, I have hit over 100,000 reads on this story – I'm gobsmacked and over the moon. Thank you all sooooo much :)
Have a good day and enjoy!
-O.
**Also, I have started a new story called Perspective that I think you should all check out if you get the chance ;)