RECAP
"I will do all my best to set Justin free as long as you promise to stay out of it." I declare.
She thinks for a while. "I will promise to stay out of it. But, I won't promise to not help you. I will help you."
I nod. She won't have any idea about what I'm up to. Or maybe she will.
My phone rings as she opens her mouth to say something. I look at the caller's ID. Fakhir.
I frown at it. Swiping it, I bring my phone to my ear.
"Hello."
"Aayan. Mum." He wheezes.
***********
"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." Jim Morrison.
Chapter Thirty Four
Do I've To Lose You Too?
(Maahirah)
Before a single word can leave my lips, Aayan gives me a brief look, and then, quickly spuns around his heels, opening the door, he rushes out -- leaving me behind with unanswered questions.
Anger surges in my veins at his extreme rudeness. My first instinct is to let him deal with whatever problems he has, but, then, I don't know, what clicks in my mind, and I find myself following him.
Even though, I'm late in trailing behind him. However, a vague nagging tells me where exactly he headed.
Elton Local Hospital.
My heart beats wildly in my chest by the time I push through the gate and run to the ICU room where Ruqayya, my mother-in-law has been for about a week.
When I open the door, and set my foot in, I thank Allah for the clogged nose due to the cold I had.
Everyone has surrounded the bed. The people who know her, who adore her, who care for her -- all are here. I stay glued to the door, afraid of what will meet my eyes.
Low mutterings go on on and my ears to catch on the words. The more I focused, the more it gets inaudible.
"Maahirah." Destiny calls me out. And, then everyone's looking at me. Self-conscious, I only cast a look at Destiny.
She beckons me to come forward. Pained expressions laced across her face. I walk, slowly as the crowd breaks allowing me to walk through.
Hope and Mr.Brackson nod glumly at me. They stand across the bed. I gasp when suddenly Ruqayya grabs my wrist.
I put my head down to glance at her. My breathe hitches in as I take in her expression. The severity of pain can be easily explained by just gazing at her. Subhan'Allah even then there is a beautiful smile on her face and her face, despite the burning pain, glistens with Noor.
My eyes pool up with tears, and I look away -- ashamed of my tears.
"Maahirah,...don't cry...child..." She rasps for air at every word. "My time in.....this world is done....is over... However, I can't....leave without...seeing the two of you...happy..." She
coughs and sputum pours out.
"Mum.." Aayan pleads.
"Hush, child...let me speak.....work out.....your differences....fights happen...resolve them before...they are severe.....your marraige was rushed...I understand.....but...I hope you two...." She coughs and this time blood sprouts out. Her eyelids drop slowly and gently, almost as if she is falling in a deep sleep, but this time, forever.
I step back, shrieking, and collide into someone. The person steadies me as persistent tears fall out. I whirl around; Darren.
He smiles forlornly as he loosens his grip. For a second, I cast a look across the room, Aayan locks his eyes for milliseconds before looking away.
***************
Life. It's just life. The moment you've actually realized this, is the moment you've actually matured. I don't know why I say this on and on, but, God, just how unexpected life is !?!
Since six days of her death, all I keep thinking about it is how we forget that our life here in this Duniya is unpredictable! How we keep chasing the attractions of this world, forgetting our Deen, forgetting our reason to be alive in the first place. We keep on forgetting that we have to answer about our doings, our deeds to Our Lord? Death can happen at any time, at any place. For, Surely We Belong To Allah And To Him Is Our Return.
Ruqayya's death reminded me all this. It taught me lessons which I ignorantly let slip my mind. Her death is like a wake up call for me.
"Maahirah. Hey..." Mum says as she emerges out of the washroom.
"Yeah." I raise an eyebrow.
Her hair are dripping with water. Coconut shower gel scent spreads in the entire room. She walks up to me and sits on the bed.
Grabbing my hand, Mum smiles, "I know her death has put you in a deep turmoil. In fact, each one of us is shaken by it. But, darling, Allah had planned this all for us, for her. You have to accept this, we all have to. Life, its a cycle. Ruqayya's time here in this world is over....InShaaAllah she is in better place. Pray. She needs prayers. And, that is all we can do. Do you get me?"
I nod.
She wipes the lingering tears on my cheeks. "C'mon get ready for the Memorial in her honor."
|||||||||||||||||||
Mum had laid my outfit on the bed: knee-length simple black dress, tights and, a black jacket. I dress myself quickly. Running the brush hurridely through my hair, I tie them in a rough bun. Wrapping the hijab around my head, I glance at the clock. Five minutes to five. Great. Just great.
Putting on mum's black pumps, I dash out of the room, and make my way to The Great Hall.
***************
My mother stands in front of the podium, and is speaking when I enter The Great Hall. "......Ruqayya Aslam was an amazing woman. .She, despite everything she went through, kept herself headstrong and raised her equally strong children...."
I take a seat in the back. Mum continues to give her speech. I sweep my gaze to find any Aslams or more particularly Aayan. I haven't seen him since the death of his mother. I don't know he avoided me or I avoided him.
A screen behind the podium displays her pictures from her childhood up to the present days. Different relatives and friends come one after other to give short speeches in her honour. Then, fourty minutes through the Memorial, my mother does something despicable. She calls my name. At first, I pretend not to hear and look around like an eagle. She says my name again as low murmurs spread in the Hall.
I slip down a little in my chair so no one can see me but when is luck ever on my side. A girl next to me, (I don't even know her name, for God's sake!) nudges me in the ribs. "Go."
And, what choice do I've? Giving her a rather forced smile, I get up. Removing the wrinkles from my dress, I dust my hand over my jacket, and keep my head kinda high, and walk to the podium.
I give my mother a look that yells what-am-I-supposed-to-say as she gestures me at the microphone. I put my elbows on the podium, and adjust the mic. My hands jitter as I finally open my mouth and I tighten my fists.
"Um. Hello. I mean, good evening, everyone." I look around the hall. "Ruqayya, my mother-in-law, was a legendary woman. She..." I shut up as my eyes lock on Aayan. He sits in the front with his siblings. He is looking at me too. Then, he smiles and mouths, "Go on,"
And, so I do. "I got to know her in a limited time. I spent few days with her and whatever, I gathered in few days was that she had a kind heart and a pure soul: A combination rare to find. Even though her death has dug deep holes in our hearts, but this is what it is. This was how it was supposed to be since the beginning. Fate. That's what it is. And, no one can ever deny fate." I hurriedly clean my tears with the back of my hand. "InShaaAllah she is happy wherever she is and may Allah grant her Jannah and patience to her loved ones. Stay strong." I get down as the hall erupts in light claps.
This time I walk out of the hall with my head lowered as Mum calls it a night and thanks everyone for coming.
Outside, I pull out a tissue from my jacket's pocket and blow my nose in it. After that, I throw in the dustbin placed at every corner in the corridor.
"That was a beautiful speech."
I jump, squealing. My hand leaps to my heart. I spin around to see Aayan.
"Oh. Thank you." I smile. I look past his shoulders to find people exiting the hall.
"Let's walk." He suggests and I agree.
"You fine?" He asks after few minutes.
"Yes." I frown. Shouldn't I be the one asking you this?
"Hmm." He muses. He stops.
"Why are we not walking?" I ask.
"Because I don't want to,"
"But what if I want to?" I shoot back.
"Then, your welcome to do after you hear me talk,"
"What talk?" I say.
He runs his hand through his hair. It is only then I notice him. Dark circles under his eyes. His eyes bloodshot red. His hair tousled, messy. My eyes instantly soften and I just get the urge to hug him. But I don't.
"Ever since mum's death...I realized life is short, Maahirah. And, with the way things are going with us, I don't want to lose you. I mean c'mon really... do I've to lose you too?" He looks at me, his gaze intensified.
"I don't get it." I mumble.
"I see the way Darren looks at you. And, God, I hate him. I'm sorry for what I'm gonna do but I can't wait for you to confess up."
What?
He takes my hand and gives me a slight push against the wall. Before I can say anything, he gently puts his lips on mine.
I'm in shock but I do close my eyes and savor it.
If only you knew Aayan what I feel for you. If only you knew my heart yelled it likes you here, in this alley. If only you had idea my eyes see no one but you. My heart yearns you. I crave you. But I'm scared once I say anything you will run away.
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Dedicated to @fatima_awais for her beautiful comments and vote. Hope you continue reading this book ❤❤❤❤❤
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Unedited Sorry abt that :p