A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for checking in on another update. This entry is lined up with Chapter 17 in TMMM, which is a favorite chapter of a lot of people. I didn't go into too much detail in what happened during their 'camping trip' because I think Charlotte gave us a good peek into that. Hope you enjoy!
***
I like to think I'm a smart man.
Sure, my path to success has been long paved before me by my father. I'm not exactly building an empire from scratch here so not much credit for that will go to me. But because of that, and because I've always felt that my father expected so much more from me, I worked my ass off my whole life to deserve what I stand to inherit someday. I don't always admit that out loud, and maybe other people can't really see it, but my whole life was a mission—to get excellent grades, to learn every aspect of running a business that they couldn't teach me in class, to carve my entire existence around my priorities.
It's not just about making money. While Dad taught me well how to do that, what he really drilled into my head was that what we do, and what I will someday have to do on my own for a little bit, is critical because of the lives it supports. I don't just have my family's mouths to feed—I've got several thousand others.
The gruelling education to become the running force behind Maxfield Industries isn't for the faint of heart—or the weak-brained for that matter. The constant decision-making required ultra-sharp focus and keen reasoning, like a mental chess game you endlessly played with fate.
So yes, I like to think that I'm a smart man. If I hadn't been born one, I've been made into one simply because I had to be to handle the responsibilities that come with my future.
I won't say that since meeting Charlotte I've stopped being smart.
I think it's mostly realizing that dry, clear-cut logic isn't the master key I've always considered it to be when it came to many decisions I've made in life and business.
Charlotte and I—we're not a straightforward equation with an irrefutable formula. We're more like a brilliant equation in the making—lots of trial and error and revisions. Someday, we'll make total sense—or maybe we'll just stay as one of those beautifully complicated and unsolvable mysteries. I don't really care.
The point is, I can't just walk into this thing with her thinking that I have an answer for everything. I doubt that she can either, for all her old wisdom about life. We'll have to figure out how to do this as we go along.
I'm perfectly alright with not knowing our next steps, or making smart decisions. I pretty much told her that when she stood there in front of me at the parking lot of the grocery.
Regret was written all over her face and her head hung low after her fervent admission that she didn't mean the harsh denial about caring far more than we expected. It had stung, I'll admit, even as I refused to believe it because denial or not, Charlotte cared. It was hard for her admit. I could see it in the flicker of fear in her eyes as she rattled off the words.
And I get why it terrifies her. The most basic of love she would've learned from her parents was practically non-existent. For majority of her life growing up, the people she'd loved, and had hoped would love her back, disappeared in some way or another.
And considering why I came to her in the first place, and how we came to be, she'd be foolish to trust me so blindly with her biggest gift and her greatest fear.
But, as bold as ever about anything, she found the words.
They weren't I-love-you but it was enough to make me want to say them myself.
And so the camping trip became something more than just our honeymoon.
I know I said I was going to wait, to give Charlotte more time to get used to the idea of being with me, but after hearing every vulnerable confession from her that day, I realized she had to know exactly how I felt so that there would be absolutely no question.
So the idea was for me to tell her how I felt as I held her in my arms under a blanket of stars, surrounded by nothing but nature.
But like all best laid plans when it came to Charlotte, it didn't quite work out the way I'd planned it in my head. I could blame it on our detour but then if we'd never taken that trip down to Plympton, I wouldn't have known the perfect future I'm working for in great, vivid detail.
It's a sight that stopped my heart for a few good seconds, stealing my breath away only to give it back to me in an overwhelming surge.
Charlotte, sitting on the bench with a sleepy Stuart in her arms, laughing when the baby carelessly brushed a tiny, drool-covered fist right past her cheek, leaving a wet trail behind it. Her blue-green eyes were bright with her smile, her face flushed rosy, her mouth crooked as she tried to hold back her laughter. I think I permanently damaged a part of my heart just from watching that scene and knowing how she'd be a beautiful and wonderful mother someday. She'll be the kind who'll race out with the kids to the backyard and sit with them on the grass for hours playing with bugs. She'll be the type to let the children build their own burgers and giggle at their faces and hands sticky with ketchup and mustard. I already knew all of this having seen her with Rose and Mattie but to see her with the baby... It made me want to fast-forward into the future.
And that future precariously hung on the balance of what Charlotte would say after I tell her that I love her.
The perfect setting I had in mind, once we finally made it to the campgrounds hours later than planned, became a scene from Twister in no time. The thunderstorm came down hard and fast and as much as I hated the disastrous outcome of another honeymoon idea, it was almost a relief when Charlotte insisted we head up to my cabin instead of trying to float inside our tent during the downpour.
Marissa hired a cleaning company to regularly visit the cabin and keep it in shape so I knew we were going to be comfortable. Charlotte obviously thought it was more luxurious than comfortable but I think she didn't really put much heart into that complaint after she saw that there was a bed and plumbing and hot water. Yeah, I wouldn't say my wife is made for the outdoors.
Yes, Charlotte, my wife—in truth, at long last.
I wouldn't say more about the irrevocable next step we both fell into that night. I probably couldn't, even if I wanted to. Suffice to say, it was perfect. Perfect because it felt as new to me as it was for her. Perfect because it was with her. Perfect because we didn't stop with our bodies. We both laid out our hearts that night, finally saying to each other what we could only say in secret for so long.
Charlotte loves me.
Isn't that crazy?
I'm a smart man but more than that, I'm a lucky man.
I was going to simply tell her I love her that night, and ask her for a chance to prove to her why she should stay beyond the year we'd agreed on. She gave me all that and more. She gave me her heart, her love, earnest as always despite the many times she'd had the poor thing trampled on.
Am I honored? More than I can ever say.
Am I terrified? Not as much as I should be.
Am I happy? God, yes.
And I think Charlotte's happy, too.
That weekend was the happiest I could recall in my life. The hours blurred into each other as we spent them out on the beach, going for walks, taking a swim, or holed up in the cabin cooking and eating together, making love long into each night. I haven't seen Charlotte smile or laugh so much. I don't think I've smiled or laughed so much myself. We were slightly sun-burnt, sticky with seawater and sand, our bellies full, our hearts even fuller.
Despite the lie that got us here, despite the many years between us, despite the different worlds we'd come from, and despite knowing that it doesn't end here and life has more surprises in store for us, I felt peaceful.
Charlotte and I are going to be alright.
They say it gets complicated once you can't tell the lies from the truth.
It's still as complicated as hell but I think, in our case, the lie became the truth and there was no difference to tell.
- B
***
So, what do you think?
I think if Brandon's capable of being deliriously happy, that's what he'd be right now. LOL!
Anyway, hope you enjoyed it!
P.S. I like this song because it's so bubbly happy which is what I'd be feeling if I were these two.
XOXO!
-Ninya
♪♪♪ Chapter Soundtrack: Paradise by Katie Sky ♪♪♪
Talk about love like its easy to do,
Talk about fame like its somethin new,
Talk about flesh like its somethin you wear,
Talk and about cash, baby, I don't care,
Oh boy, What I'm about,
You know you got to figure out, oh,
Now that we know, know,
Lets live in paradise,
Want you to show, show,
Show me this feeling is right,
I need you so, so,
Tell me that you care,
I Know this feeling,
I, I know this feeling is right.