"So, Theo's matching donor haven't been found yet." I said slowly as I took my seat.
"Yes, we haven't got a perfect donor." He replied.
"So how long will it take?" I queried.
"I cannot say anything exactly at this moment. This isn't under my control. All we could do is find or wait." He rolled up his shirt's sleeve.
"And what if it gets too late by the time he gets a donor?" I let my fear out finally.
"You have to be positive, Alice."
Positive. Yeah, right! But tht was the last thing I could do with all that stress around.
"Umm, Theo and, umm, I share the same blood group, doctor." I finally started for what I actually came.
"But we can't let you donate your heart." He plainly replied.
"And why?" I felt little agitated.
"Because the person donating the heart should be declared brain dead by atleast two of the doctors. Otherwise, it's not possible. Moreover, it isn't just about the same blood groups, there are various other tests as well which will declare if you are an eligible donor." His explainations weren't going in my head. I was thinking only about Theo.
"Okay, I get it. What if I donate my heart but still have a heart?"
Oh my god! Yes! Light bulb.
"What?" Dr. Phil was unclear about what was in my head.
"I mean what if we swap hearts? Swap my and Theo's heart. Now, that won't be wrong. I'll take whatever the tests you are saying and if I'm eligible then we can do this swapping thing." I cleared his doubt.
"Swap your hearts! Are you insane? Do you even realise what you're talking about? It isn't necessary that if you become an eligible donor and get your heart swapped with the patient, it would work the same way for you, as well. Your body can reject his heart and that could lead to serious problems and even death."
Death. That wasn't something I was afraid of!
"I don't care about my body rejecting his heart or whatever. I am sure you'll be having a solution to that problem as well."
"Look, I don't think we'll get permissions for this. This is a complete absurd point. I don't know from where did you get this idea or who asked you to do so." He was annoyed, and I didn't even knew why.
"His heart is a failing heart. And, with all those injuries it's becoming even more difficult for his heart to pump the blood. Plus point, we are not even ready with a donor. But if I take his heart, there will be a problem and that would be similar to Theo's before case. My body will have to deal only with the heart not pumping my blood as efficiently as it used to but it could be treated and will also have no other pressures on it from my healthy body." I tried explaining him with my basic knowledge about anything medical. And, he did get my point. He knew my point was right.
"Okay, I'll discuss about it with the other doctors involved in this case and if everyone approves we'll try this way. But I am warning you this could become the matter of your life and death. You are not understanding the consequences."
"I don't even want to. I have nothing to loose other than Theo. And, it's request if you don't tell about this conversation to anyone. Also, if it get's an approval, I'd prefer staying as an annonymous donor. Please, you have to save him."
"Yes, he have to but not at the cost of your life." I turned around to find Samantha standing at the door. My face soon turned pale. Did she heard everything?
"Hello, Saman.. I mean Mrs. Bentley!" I stuttered.
"Dr. Phil I really hope you've some senses and you won't consider this stupid idea of hers. I want people dying because of my son." She completely ignored my hello.
"And you! What do you think of yourself? Why would you do this? Do you even realise if Theo comes to know about this he will never let this happen." She turned to me finally.
Thanks to Dr. Phil who spoke in between in my rescue.
"I too thought it was an absurd idea but it could actually work. And since finding a donor is taking time now, maybe by the time she deals with that heart, we would have a donor and she can have a normal heart back. And mam, she herself wants to stay annonymous so don't worry about anyone knowing. I'd ask you to not talk about it anyone, as well."
"I will take your leave, doctor." I smiled and began wailing towards the exit.
"We'll notify you about the decision. Take care." He said. I smiled and walked out as fast as I could so that Samantha doesn't interrogate me again.
As I stepped out of Dr. Phil's office, I felt someone's presence behind me. I knew it was her so I kept on walking. As I reached outside the ICU, I still heard the footsteps that were behind me.
"You will have to answer, Alice. Why are you doing all this? What are you trying to prove?" I heard her voice seeping into my ears as I looked at Theo from behind the glass door.
"What? I am not trying to prove anything. You weren't supposed to listen to that conversation at first. You weren't a welcomed audience there. That was something between me and Dr. Phil." I walked towards the waiting room to make myself some space to rest for a while. It was empty so I took a seat in the corner. Samantha too followed me and settled down next to me.
"It was my son you both were talking about so whether I am welcomed or not, I'll be an audience. You know how Theo will react if he gets to know."
"He doesn't have to know at all." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't want him to know. I don't want him to spend the rest of his life in some sort of guilt."
"I was so wrong about you. You do love him." My eyes were closed but I knew she was looking at me.
"I love him more than anyone can know or understand. You are not going to get involved in this matter. Whatever the doctors will decide, we'll go with that. End of discussion. Now, I'd like to take some sleep, please." This was the only way to stop her from talking any further.
"I am sorry." She whispered and left.
•••
"Okay, your blood group matches with the patient, so you will go on with the further tests. First will be a psychological and social evaluation. Psychological and social issues involved in organ transplantation, such as stress, financial issues, and support by family and/or significant others will be assessed. These issues can significantly affect the outcome of a transplant.
Then, diagnostic tests. Diagnostic tests may be performed to assess your lungs as well as your overall health status. These tests may include X-rays, ultrasound procedures, computed tomography (CT scan), pulmonary function tests, and dental examinations. You'll may also receive a Pap test, gynecology evaluation, and a mammogram.
Several immunizations will be given to decrease the chances of developing infections that can affect the transplanted heart.
The transplant team will consider all information from interviews, your medical history, physical examination, and diagnostic tests in determining your eligibility for heart transplantation. And, if you get eligible, you will be notified about the rest a little later." Dr. Phil's assistant, Daniel explained me.
"So many?" I quizzed.
"Yes, only to make sure that the patient's body doesn't reject the heart." He answered.
"And what if besides the eligibility the heart is rejected?" I was getting one whole new experience and it was interesting as well.
"Then certain medications are tried to make the body accept the heart. Now, no more questions. Keep it for later." He was clearly getting annoyed by by the questions I was shooting at him since last fifteen minutes.
"Later?" I still didn't stop. I don't know maybe I was a little overwhelmed.
"Yes, later. When you will give your written consent about the donation and the surgery. Now, please sit quietly till your pshychiatrist come for your pshychological test. Dr. Maya will attend you. Wait here and don't touch anything." He warned me before leaving me in Dr. Maya's office.
•••
"Congratulations, all your tests makes you an eligible candidate for organ donation. You will final be able to do what you wanted to do for Theo. Give him your heart and take his. True love! People just say it but look at you, you're literally doing it." Dr. Phil teased me. He and I have bonded more of as a friend than a doctor and patient, in all this time.
I rolled my eyes at him. For everyone else, he was a sophisticated and mature kid but hardly anyone knew he was such a kid at heart.
"So when will the surgery take place, doc?" I played with the paper weight kept on his desk.
"Most probably in this week, itself. We just have to go through some test reports of Theo to give a green signal. Alice?"
"Mhmm." I was still concentrating on balancing the paper weight.
"Did you talk about this to your friends?" He rested his chin on the desk.
"They don't have to know." I replied sternly.
"Why? What if you don't get a chance to see them again or vice-versa? You should talk to them." He took the paper weight back from me when I wasn't giving my attention to him.
"Are you nuts? They will never allow me to do this. They'll go crazy and call me an insane for doing so. They'll start with all the emotional stuff which I don't want. So, it's better if they don't have to know." I crossed my arms and looked at him, finally. I know what was he trying to do. He's been doing that since last 4 days. But with these little conversations, I won't change my decision. Samantha too tried talking to me, asking me to back out but I knew this was the decision of my life and I won't change it.
"I am planning to see my parents today afternoon. They'll be happy to know about my helping a poor guy and who knows maybe after all of this, I might even get a chance to finally see them up there. Would you like to join me to the graveyard?" I almost stood up to leave.
"No, I think it would be better if you spend a little alone time with them. Think about everything and everyone, consequences of your this decision on everyone, once again."
"There's no turning back for me now. See you!" I closed the door to his office and stepped out of the hospital, in fresh air.