#SAT9S
DEDICATED TO : Kylle Zyrene Orcino Carual
CHAPTER 60 : SO WRONG
"Kung ano man ang alam mo, masmagandang sarilinin mo na lang." She hissed.
"Why? You're afraid that I might tell it to Rhea? To Ren? Tell me why."
She glared at me. "Why would I? Hindi kita kilala maliban sa pangalan. Huwag kang umasta na parang alam mo ang buong pagkatao ko dahil lang sa konting impormasyon na nalalaman mo."
"I have proof. Isn't that enough for you to fear me?" I grinned at her.
She yanked her hands from my grip. "You're not some god. Huwag kang umasta na parang pag-aari mo ang mundo dahil lang may kakarampot kang alam. That's one stupid move."
"You know what stupid, my dear? You fighting against me. You might regret it." I grinned wider.
"Regrets? That's not for me." She smirked at me.
"Really? Hindi ka nagsisising nagpagamit ka sa isang tao?"
Her face hardened. "Are you pertaining to me and Ren?"
"Isn't it obvious? Where's your common sense? You know what? You two are perfectly matched. Isang abusado at isang nagpapaabuso."
Her hands had a solid touchdown on my face in a blink. It's something I expected. Naagaw no'n ang atensyon ng mga bisita at lahat ay napatingin sa amin. Georgia didn't seem to mind. This girl has guts but she used it in the most stupid ways which is not very remarkable.
I was about to say something when someone nabbed my suit, the next thing I knew, my back hit the floor. Someone punched me. Narinig ko ang sigawan sa paligid. The commotion started. I opened my eyes the same time that Ren pulled my necktie. His eyes were furious, so do I.
Hinila ko siya at bumawi ako ng suntok. Mas tumindi ang sigawan at naramdaman kong may humawak sa akin.
"Shinn!"
I can recognize Rhea's voice even in a loud room. Hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko kay Ren Delgado na tulad ko ay inaawat na rin. From overflowing emotion, he became impassive again. He easily divert his emotion. While I couldn't help but gave him a sarcastic grin to piss him more.
"Shinn!" I felt Rhea's hands on my arms. Sandali ko siyang nilingon bago binalingan si Ren na ngayo'y nakatingin na kay Rhea. Beside him was Georgia. Pathetic losers.
"Shinn, t-tara na." Hinila ako ni Rhea palayo sa mga tao. Hindi ko hiniwalayan ng tingin ang ex niya. I don't want to go. I have so many things to spill. I won't let them escape again.
But Rhea was desperate to drag me out of the venue. She won in the end. Nasa labas na kami nang maramdaman ko ang panginginig niya dala ng tensyon at pagkataranta.
"D-Did you bring a car. Come on, Shinn. Let's go home."
Tinungo namin ang parking. Binuksan ko ang Ford at pinasakay siya. Mabilis kong pinatakbo 'yon paalis.
"Shinn, punta muna tayong ospital. M-May dugo yung bibig mo."
"I can manage."
"Shinn-"
"I said I can, Rhea. Don't force me." I said drily.
"Shinn naman! Hindi ba pwedeng kahit isang beses makinig ka sa akin? Please, naman!" She sounded so frustrated. Mas lalo kong binilasan ang pagpapatakbo. She frantically fastened her seatbelts.
My mind was already blurred in anger. I thought I already mastered self-restraint. Man, I was mistaken. My anger takes over. It slipped away.
"Shinn, slow down." Hinawakan niya ang braso ko. "P-Pull over, please. B-Baka maaksidente tayo."
I breathe out in irritation. Tinabi ko sa gitna ng daan ang kotse. Sunud-sunod na paghinga ang ginawa ko para kumalma.
"Shinn, you should've listened."
"You know that I'm not a good listener, feisty."
"Then, be reasonable! Come on! Kung ano man 'yang mga pinaplano mo. Cut it out! Stop it now. Shinn, wala kang mapapala sa galit."
Of course, she wouldn't understand. For someone who grew up with a family, of course it's hard for her to understand my actions.
"Hindi ka na lang dapat pumunta."
"Why? Para walang gulo?" I laughed. "Sa ating dalawa, ikaw ang maraming dapat malaman."
"Hindi na kita naiintindihan. Shinn, hirap akong intindihin ka kasi hindi ka nagpapaliwanag ng maayos. Most of your actions were done impulsively! Malalaman ko na lang pag wala na akong magagawa. Shinn, nahihirapan din ako."
"That's it, Rhea. Inaalis ko lang sa landas mo ang mga taong nagpapahirap sayo."
"Oh, God." Napahawak siya sa kanyang ulo. "Shinn, you don't have to do that. I won't even ask for that. H-Hindi na nila 'yon kasalanan. Remember, I was the one who made a decision and this is just one of the consequence that I have to face."
"Yeah. And I'm the one who made it messier?"
"I don't know what to do anymore! Hindi na ako makapagdesisyon ng maayos! Hindi na ako makapag-isip ng matino kasi walang nagpapaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang nangyayari!"
"It won't start from me, feisty, unless I have to explain my side."
"That's too selfish." Humina ang boses niya.
"I was never selfless. I'm not like you, like them and even your ex. Kaya hindi mo ako maintindihan."
"Wala silang magawang masama sa'yo. Ikaw na rin ang nagsabi na ako ang nananakit sa sarili ko. Let it be, Shinn. Kasi gusto ko rin 'tong pigilan pero hindi ko kaya! Alam mo naman 'to simula pa nung una, di ba? Sinabi ko na sayo 'to." Her voice shivered. "Alam mo na mahal na mahal ko pa rin siya."
I didn't dare to speak because I know I would burst if I do that and I would end up hurting her feelings in the greater extent. I want to scream it out. Kung alam lang niya ang mga rason. Kung alam niya lang. . .
"Stop this, Shinn. Pull out your investment. Ilang beses ko bang ipapakiusap sa'yo na huwag kang magalit sa kanya? Ilang beses pa ba? May rason din siya."
"Then, what is it? Do you know his reasons? Did he tell you why? Di ba hindi naman? Up until now, nanghuhula ka pa rin kung bakit. Up until now, umaasa ka pa rin magiging kayo, di ba? I saw you with George, Rhea. Wala kang matatago sa akin."
Her eyes widened. "H-How did you know that? Pinapasundan mo ako?"
Gusto ko sabihing hindi lang siya kundi lahat sila. If she wants me to spill it all, I'll do it. But I know she's scared to know the truth. I could understand that part. She's traumatized.
"I won't tell you anything against you agree with me."
"Paano ako sasang-ayon sa gusto mo? That's illogical! Anong balak mo sa kumpanya nila Ren? Pababagsakin mo? I know you can do it in a blink of an eye. But I want you to know that their institute is helping a hundred charities, Shinn. Kung sisirain mo lang dahil sa pansariling kagustuhan, maraming madadamay!"
"Then, what? Of course, I'll always be the bad one who ruins everything. I know you think of me that way-"
"Hindi gano'n ang tingin ko sayo! Ayoko lang na isipin nila ng mga tao na masama ka dahil gusto mo akong ipagtanggol. Kilala kita. Hindi ka gano'n. If you're thinking that way, please think again. Hindi mo ba naisip na nasasaktan ako pag pinanindigan mong maging masama sa iba? You're one of the finest man that I've ever met. Marami kang nagawa para sa akin. I can't even think a better way to give back those favors! Shinn, huwag naman ganito. Walang ginagawa si Ren. Walang ginagawa si George. spare them-"
"You know what I hate, Rhea? You keep on blaming yourself. You keep on defending them na parang napakainosente nilang dalawa. Normal lang na magalit sa kanila. Alam mo kung ano yung hindi normal? Yung sinisiksik mo ang sarili mo sa maliit nilang mundo. I don't want to see you like that. You don't have to be that desperate. If you insist, sorry but I will continue this."
A long moment of silent passed. She cleared her throat before she speaks.
"Kung ikapapanatag mo, fine. I'll stay away. Just stop this. Don't interfere. Tama na 'to. Huwag ka na sumali sa gulo. Nanahimik sila."
That's what she thought. That's what she only knows. I pity her. I pity them all. The world is full morons.
"So, you want to escape again?"
"No," Umiling siya. "I regret it, Shinn. I wish I didn't escape. We wouldn't go this far kung nagawa ko lang humarap sa katotohanan nung una palang."
I was immobilized. I didn't expect that she'll say it. Pinagsisihan niya. Damn it. That hurts me pero pinili kong manahimik. Kahit kailan hindi ko pinagsisihang tinulungan ko siya. Hindi ko rin pinagsisihang ang pagtakas na ginawa ko sa kanya because that's the reason why I fell for her.
Four days had passed. I'm not very fond of drama, so I dismissed the thoughts right away. Kinalimutan ko na lang agad. Hindi ko na rin inalala ang mga nangyari kagabi. I spent my nights in bars, I sleep in the morning. Walang kwenta ang pinunta ko rito kung patuloy na ganito ang mangyayari.
Rhea won't understand. No one will understand. Ang madalas talagang kinakampihan ay ang mga martyr at laging naagrabyado. Though, hindi ako naghahanap ng kakampi. I'm strong and I don't need anyone's sympathy. Kinaaawaan ko ang mga gano'ng klaseng tao. Rhea is a classic-example but along with my pity is that special feeling that keeps on blooming.
If I don't go to bars, diversion will be very difficult. I have to go with some girls to stop on thinking about Rhea's issues. Ang natitirang kontrol na lang sa akin ay ang para sa sarili ko. It's easy to confess, yes. Hindi ako naduduwag na magsabi ng nararamdaman pero bakit ko pa gagawin kung alam ko namang walang patutunguhan?
The next day, inumaga na ako ng uwi. Nadatnan ko si Rhea na naghihintay sa labas ng suite ko. She's holding a plastic bag. Nang makita niya ako ay tumuwid siya ng tayo.
"Kanina pa kita hinihintay. Magtatatlong oras na. Saan ka galing?"
"Why are you here?" I asked coldly.
She tensed. "Galit ka pa rin ba?"
Binuksan ko ang pinto ng unit ko at pinapasok siya. "What is it this time? Wala pa ulit akong ginagawa. You should be grateful."
"Can you stop being caustic? Gusto kong makausap ka ng maayos."
"Anong pag-uusapan natin?"
"I just want to say sorry. I know you got mad at me the other night. H-Hindi mo na ako kinontak pagtapos no'n." She said sincerely.
I smirked. "Why? You missed me?" I couldn't help but be sarcastic.
She paced the floor as she whispered her answer. "Of course. I miss you, Shinn."
I got stunned. She admit it. She agreed with me. I don't know where should I base it. I'm certain that she just said it to make our conversation lighter.
Nilapag niya ang dala niya sa mesa. "I bring you home-made foods." She cleared her throat. "Baka hindi ka kumakain ng maayos at puro alak na lang ang laman ng sikmura mo."
She forced me to it. She annoys me a little bit but I can't deny the fact that I enjoyed the way she takes care of me. The last time I depend on someone is when I was with my family. Days that I still nanny and Rome with me and Armour was still alive.
"Kailan ka babalik ng Amerika?"
I gave her a bored stare. "Why? You want me to go back in States now?"
She looked away but enough for me to see her pained expression. "Tinanong ko lang. Wala akong ibig sabihin."
"Good."
"Uhm, may ibibigay nga pala ako." Inabot niya sa akin ang brochure na may kasamang GC. "Resort 'yan sa Palawan. If you want to go to the beach, pwede kita pasamahan sa secretary ni Papa."
I frowned at what she said. "Your father's secretary? Why not you instead?"
"I-I'm busy. Papatapos na kami sa trabaho. Minamadali ko na nga para mapaaga ang bakasyon ko at ma-tour kita kagaya ng gusto mong mangyari." She smiled at me. "Nasasayanan lang ako sa GC kasi may expiration 'yan this week. Sayang naman kung hindi magagamit. Para na rin makapaglibang kd at may iba kang lugar na mapuntahan. Hindi yung puro bar ka lang."
"I'll accept this but you have to do me a favor."
Her face brightens. Tuwang-tuwa sa sinabi ko, "Okay. Ano 'yon?"
"Dress up like a boyish Rhea." Natigilan siya. "Can you do that for me?"
"W-Why?" Tanong niya na tila biglang naasiwa. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I just want to see the old you,"
She did exactly what I've said. Nang sumakay ulit siya sa kotse ko galing sa bahay nila ay nakasuot siya ng malaking t-shirt, faded and loose pants, rubbes shoes with no trace of make-up in her face.
"This is embarrassing." Sabi niya habang naglalakad kami sa loob ng Ocean Park. Dito niya ako unang dinala. "Ang pangit ng suot ko. Nakakahiya."
"Kinakahiya mo ang dating ikaw?"
Sumimangot siya. "Of course not, Shinn. Pero nakakaasiwa ang tingin ng mga tao. Baka isipin nilang ang weird kong manamit."
I reached her hands and squeezed it lightly. "Don't think about it."
She tour me in Manila. Dinala niya ako sa matataong lugar. I enjoyed the oceanarium. Bukas ay aalis ako papuntang Palawan. Babalik rin agad after four days. That's a perfect time to relax. Maybe, I deserve a break.
Rhea set a leave to take to the airport tomorrow evening.
"Are you sure na okay lang sayo na mag-isa? Masmaganda kung may kasama ka. Pwede ko pa ipahabol ang secretary ni Papa kung magbabago ang isip mo."
"No thanks. I'll be fine. Buti sana kung ikaw na lang ang sasama."
She smiled. "I have-"
"Yeah, yeah. Work. You have work. Mahirap makipagkompetensya sa trabaho mo." I kissed her forehead. "Take care. Don't do anything stupid while I'm away. I love you."
She smiled warmly at me. "Okay. Enjoy, Shinn."
Mabilis akong tumalikod. Hindi na ako umasang sasabihin niya 'yon pabalik. Hindi na kailangan. I'll get over it sooner. I'm stronger.
Rhea was right. The islands in Palawan are magnificent. I even extended my stay. For the first time, nakuntento ako sa pansamantalang katahimikan. Though, I miss the booze and party. Mero'n beach party pero hindi ako nagtatagal. I prefer water activities. And lastly, I had a short affair with a foreigner. Easy life with thrill.
Bumalik ako after a week. Hinanap ko kaagad si Rhea. Pansamantala kong pinatigil ang pagpapasubaybay sa kanya pero agad kong pinagsisihan na gano'n ang ginawa ko. I can't contact her. Pinuntahan ko siya sa institute pero naka-leave raw. Hindi na maganda ang kutob ko.
"Kakaalis lang niya kahapon, Hindi ka ba niya nasabihan?" Kausap ko ang Papa niya. Sinadya ko ang bahay nila at nagbaka sakaling nando'n siya.
"No, Tito, Nasa Palawan ako last week. Kakauwi ko lang,"
"I see. Sorry pero hindi niya nasabi sa akin kung saan siya pupunta."
Wala akong napala kay Tito Robi, I called Coby. Sa kanya ko nalaman kung nasaan si Rhea.
"She didn't tell you? I thought you knew."
"Hindi kita tatawagan kung alam ko na. Nasa'n siya?"
"She's with Ren somewhere in the waters of Marinduque. Hindi niya nasabi sa akin specifically kung saan."
That's it. Do'n tumining ang hinala ko. Pakiramdam ko ay ako naman ang nadaya niya. Na pinaalis niya talaga ako para makasama niya ang ex niya. And what about that asshole? Sila pa nung babae niya. The motherfucker is two-timing!
Really, Rhea? After all the help I offered, this is what I will get from you? A double cross? Fuck.
I hired a good tracker. Nasa Marinduque nga sila. Bellarocca Island Resort, specifically. Silang dalawa lang.
I was trying to hold my anger. Ayoko sa lahat ay ang pakiramdam na nalilinlang ako. I feel so fucked up. I want to hurt the two of them. I could exclude Rhea but Ren Delgado will surely taste hell once we meet again. Ano ang pinaplano niya? Ano ang tingin niya kay Rhea? Porke't mahal na mahal siya ng tao, sasamantalahin na niya na agad? I'll kill him.
I checked in. Halos walang tao sa resort na 'yon pero masyado akong galit para pansinin ang ganda ng isla.
Hours after I checked in, natunton ko sila. I saw them kissing in the sea. I run towards them. Hinaklit ko si Rhea paahon.
"What do you think you're doing?" Galit kong sigaw. They both froze. Nagulat sa presensya ko.
"S-Shinn-"
"What is this, Rhea!" Halos kaladkarin ko siya sa buhanginan. "Hindi ka talaga nadadala! Anong ginagawa mo? Bakit ka sumama sa kanya! Pinapababa mo ang sarili mo!"
"Shinn, nasasaktan ako-" Her eyes were starting to get red. Oh, no. Her tears won't stop me. Kahit umatungal siya, ilalayo ko siya sa gagong 'yon.
"I am so tempted to hurt you, Rhea! So damn tempted to strangle you both! Iningatan kita!" Mashumigpit ang hawak ko sa braso niya. Napangiwi at napaiyak siya sa harap ko. "Iniingatan kita! Ginagawa ko lahat para malayo ka sa taong 'yan dahil sinasaktan ka lang niya! Pero ikaw ang lumalapit! You promised, Rhea! You promised!"
"Shinn, masakit." She's now crying.
"Really, Rhea? Nagrereklamo ka na nasasaktan kita pero sa kanya ba nagreklamo ka? What are you thinking? Nasa'n napunta ang utak mo? He's two-timing! You already know it but you still push it! What are you? A whore?"
"Fuck you!" The asshole came out of nowhere and threw a punch on me. Bumagsak ako sa buhangin. He punched, twice. Pilit akong sumasalag. "Tangina mo! Kahit kailan hindi ko siya sinabihan ng ganyan!"
"Tama na!" Rhea screamed.
I punched him back and got a right timing to throttle his neck. Siya na ngayon ang nasa buhangin. Nagdidilim ang paningin ko.
"You've done worse than my cruel words, asshole, Delgado. You made her your mistress!"
"Shinn, tama na!" She's trying to pull me off. I whisked her hands. Bumagsak rin siya sa buhanginan. I get up. I was about to kick Ren when she get down on her knees.
"Tama na, Shinn! Ako na lang! This is my fault! Ako na lang!"
I froze, so did his ex. Parehas kaming napatulala kay Rhea na nakaluhod at umiiyak. Begging me to stop. Para akong binuhasan ng malamig na tubig. I thought I was doing the right thing but everything seems so wrong. So wrong.