Chapter Fifteen: If You Never Try
Rick and Shane left at dawn with Randall. They were going to leave him at some high school with enough food to last several days and some dinky little knife. I was glad he was finally gone; I'd fed him a couple times and he gave me the creeps. He'd called me pretty, stared at me (and my chest) longer than necessary, asked if I'd had a boyfriend.
When they came back with him cuffed in the backseat I took Alfie's hand and went straight inside the house, where Maggie sat angrily. Beth had somehow gotten into the bathroom, broke a mirror, and slit her wrists in an attempt to commit suicide. Hershel was stitching her up in the kitchen.
"Is Bethie gonna be okay?" Alfie asked Maggie and climbed on the couch to sit next to his former babysitter.
"She'll be fine." Maggie nodded, and I left him with her so I could sit with Lori on the porch. Maybe she knew why they brought him back.
"He knows Maggie and Hershel. He knows where the farm is. What if he found that group of his, and they wanted to get back at Rick for shootin' at their men?" Lori shook her head, "Leaving him out there isn't really an option now."
"I don't want him here. He creeps me out, to be honest." I admitted.
"Yeah, me as well." She brushed her bangs away from her eyes, and Patricia called us in for supper.
Alfie sat on my lap, and announced to everyone that Daryl was his new Daddy. Well that sure got a reaction out of Shane; he stormed out the front door and straight to the RV. He was so dramatic!
"Mr Shane is a grouchy goat!" Alfie exclaimed and continued to shove mashed potatoes into his mouth. He looked much healthier now, no longer skin and bones.
"Can't argue with that." Dale smiled fondly. We finished eating and Daryl carried Alfie back to our tent.
I sat outside with Glenn, Maggie, and Beth when Shane (of course it was Shane) asked if he could speak to me, alone. Glenn was hesitant to leave me alone with Shane because of our past arguments but I told him I could handle it and I'd be fine.
"We'll be right inside if you need us." Maggie nodded, and followed her sister and boyfriend into the house.
"What did I do wrong this time, Shane?" He either wanted to insult, lecture, or pick a fight with me.
"Why Daryl? You can do better, deserve better. He's just some nobody, Cal." Shane asked in a hushed tone.
"Why Robyn? Lori? He may be a nobody to you, but to me, he's somebody. Can't you just be happy knowing I'm happy for once? Is it really that hard for you?" I started for the door, but of course, Shane's hand found itself around my arm. "Let go of me or I'll scream. No joke."
"Sure ya will." He laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.
"You know what? Let me know when your hobbies don't include being a complete fuckbag." I glared and he let go of me. I joined Maggie, Glenn, and Beth in the kitchen.
/:/:/
Daryl woke up super early to interrogate Randall, leaving his knife with me. I tried to get at least another hour of sleep but couldn't, so I just watched Alfie toss and turn in his sleep. He often had nightmares about his father and stepmother, the walkers as well. But I think we all had nightmares involving walkers.
I know I sure did.
"Are we goin to the house for breakfast? I hope Maggie and Bethie made me pancakes!" Alfie pulled on his socks and Spider-Man shoes, making sure the Velcro lined up evenly. He sure loved those Spider-Man shoes.
"Yea, I guess." I had to keep telling him not to run ahead, to stay by my side in case a stray walker happened to cross paths with us. Once we passed the barn, I let him run the short distance to the house.
I'd noticed Daryl stepping out of the shed Randall was being kept in, and curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to know what Randall had told him, and judging by Daryl's bloodied knuckles, not much had been said. "Hey."
"I was hopin' you'd still be asleep." He kissed my forehead, "Where's Alfie?"
"In the house. So how'd it go in there?"
"His group's bad news. Go eat somethin'. I gotta talk to Rick." Daryl slung his crossbow over his shoulder, gave me a quick hug, and made his way towards the group. I went inside and ate fried eggs with Alfie.
From what Daryl had found out about Randall and his group, Rick knew he couldn't just be left somewhere like we'd originally planned in case he found his group and led them to the farm. Randall couldn't become a member of our group. Daryl wanted him gone, and so did Hershel, Andrea, and Lori. And to be completely honest so did I. We couldn't keep him locked up in that shed; Rick said the only option was to execute him. He'd just be another mouth to feed and that was something we couldn't afford. Not with winter coming soon.
Dale pleaded with Rick, practically begging him not to kill Randall. Rick told Dale he had until sunset to convince the group to vote against Randall's... Execution. He came to me first.
"He gives me the creeps. I don't want him around Alfie, or Carl. Or me. Killing him may be the wrong thing to do, but our options are limited. It's not like any of us would be comfortable with him joining the group. I'm sorry, Dale. I do t really want him to die, but maybe it's best for the safety of the group."
"I understand where you're coming from, Callie. I really do." He shook his head, clearly disappointed. I would have continued the conversation, if I hadn't seen Shane yelling at Carl and Alfie. They stood right outside the shed, heads hanging in shame and guilt.
"What's goin' on here, Shane?" I glared as Carl ran off. Alfie's chin quivered as he blinked back tears and hid behind me, hugging my leg.
"They somehow snuck in the shed. They were talkin' to that punk!" She was struggling to keep his voice down. He turned to leave, "You best keep an eye on that boy, Cal. Or he'll end up like Sophia."
We found Daryl in the stables, mucking out a stall. I told him what Carl and Alfie had been up to this morning and how Shane had handled the situation Daryl was not impressed but agreed with me that it could have been much worse. We sat down with Alfie and talked to him.
"Did he say anything to you and Carl?" I asked and he slowly shook his head, as if he was scared something bad would happen if he told the truth.
"S'ok, you can tell us. We ain't gonna hurt us for tellin' the truth." Daryl said.
"He said we could go back to his group with 'em if we got 'em outta the shed." mumbled Alfie, hie eyes darting from stall to stall. "I ain't in trouble, am I?"
"No. But I want you to stay away from that shed. I don't care if Carl says it's ok. You don't go anywhere near the shed unless we're with you, understand?" I said.
"Maybe he should just stay with you, not wanderin' off with Carl. Think ya can do that, Alfie?" Daryl stood up and Alfie nodded. We waited for him to finish putting the horses back in their stalls and went back to the house for supper.
Rick wanted to hold a group meeting, to vote on what we would do with Randall. I wanted no part in the decision, and so I sat it out with Beth, Jimmy, and the boys. Carl was annoyed his parents didn't want him to be present for the decision, and sulked on the front steps. We'd only been sitting on the playing a game of Go Fish for twenty minutes when Dale walked out with a look of pure disappointment and I asked if he was ok. Dale shook his head and left. Glenn and Andrea followed after him, and Rick came out to tell us that they were finished. Shane was pleased with the outcome; Randall would be hung tonight, in the barn.
"I'm gonna help Rick. You wanna go back to the tent, or stay in the RV till it's over?" Daryl asked me.
"Well, I'm tired. Alfie's fightin' to stay awake, and the RV is crowded. So I'd rather stay in the tent." I yawned and picked Alfie up. When we first brought him to the farm, he was so thin you could see his ribs and backbone poking through his scarred pale skin. But now he'd filled out, thanks to Hershel's family, and Alfie looked more like a healthy little boy. Maggie told me he would be five in November, less than two months from now.
"'Kay. Let's go." he held the screen door open for me and taking out his knife, led us through a field to our little camp. I put Alfie to bed and sat out with Daryl until he had to leave. "I'll be back once it's taken care of."
"Be careful." I hugged him tight, watching him walk to the barn where Randall was going to die.
"Mommy! Tell me about Hogwarts!" Alfie called impatiently from inside the tent.
xxxxx
I woke up to screams. At first I thought I was just trapped in some really intense nightmare, when I looked over and saw Alfie sitting on his cot frozen in fear. I wrapped my arms around him, told him everything was ok. We heard two gunshots, one right after the other, and his grip on me tightened. "Are we gonna be eated?"
"No, of course not. We're gonna be fine. Daryl'll come for us." I whispered, hoping I was right. Praying Carl and Lori were safe.
And there we sat for who knows how long, huddled together, scared and crying silently.
"Lemme in!" Daryl's voice shook, coming from outside. I reached over and fumbled for the zipper, pulling it up awkwardly. Alfie wouldn't let go of me. "Ya okay?"
"What do you think?!" I snapped, then apologized and asked what had happened.
"Rick couldn't do it, not after we found Carl hiding behind a haystack. Said he wanted to watch. So I took Randall back to the shed, and that's when Andrea started screamin'." Daryl told me after he'd kicked off his boots and sat next to us. "Dale got bit. Walker tore his stomach clean open; there was nothin' any of us coulda done to save him. So I ended his sufferin'."
"Grampie's DEAD?!" Alfie choked out in horror and flung himself onto his cot, crying, when Daryl nodded.
"He'll be okay." I reassured Daryl and straightened out my sleeping bag. Knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep. I was too shocked to cry, to really feel anything but numb. Alfie cried himself to sleep.
"Do... you wanna talk?"
"Not really." I shook my head. "Hey, can you pass me my bag?"
"Here ya go." he placed it in front of me, and I dumped its contents on my sleeping bag, not caring about making a mess. Picking up the small purple brush I tugged it through my knotted hair and didn't fight the tears when they came, didn't push Daryl away when he wrapped his arms around me and held me as I cried.