“Don’t let me go, ‘cause I’m tired of feeling alone.” Harry Styles
Lena Rose Winter
I walked towards his house, my hands already freezing from the snow falling. There was a possibility of him kicking me out, or not even answering the door. I was mortified of coming to talk to him, but I had to tell him.
Last night was a night where I’d stayed awake until dawn, finishing my application for NYU. He’d promised for us to go get coffee together once we submitted them.
I was aware, of course, that we were far from friends. But it seemed unthinkable for me to forget about that. I couldn’t bare the thought of losing everything.
Best Case Scenario: He smiles at me, he admits that he sent his application too and was just about to come see me. We go out for coffee and doughnuts or we can stay at his house and I can spend time with his more than lovely grandmother; Darla Black.
Worst Case Scenario: He doesn’t open the door and hides for me.
My hopes deflated a little, but I forced myself to expect the worst yet hope for the best.
I knocked at the door three times, stomping my feet on the floor to get snow off my boots.
No answer.
I knocked again, and decided to leave if the door didn’t open in ten seconds. They seemed to pass by too fast, and I could feel disappointment rushing in my head.
Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me. “Who you lookin’ for?” I turned to the voice and saw a woman in her thirties, leaning on the window with a scarf over her head.
“Liam Black and his grandma. Do you know where they might be?” I replied. She chuckled as if I were an ignorant child.
“They’re at the hospital! Darla’s sick.”
I froze. “S-sick?”
The woman grimaced. “Yeah. It’s bad, though. Last time I saw her, she was as pale as the snow you’re stepping on right now.” She stopped for a second, as if thinking. “Her little boy hasn’t left her side in forever.”
“Is it grave?” I asked.
The woman sighed. “Yeah. She has a few days, maybe two weeks left.”
“Do you know which hospital?”
She nodded. “Sainte-Catherine’s.”
“Thank you,” I said, before calling my mom. I gave her a quick resume of what I’d just found out. She came to pick me up in minutes and started driving me to the hospital.
It was a silent, yet long car ride. Sainte-Catherine’s was about half an hour far from my house, and forty-five from Liam’s.
Mom broke the comfortable silence. “Do you think she’ll be okay?”
Darla Black was one of the kindest women I knew. When I went to study at Liam’s house, she always made us hot chocolate and cookies and she made those horrible jokes that make you want to bang your head against a wall yet laugh at the same time.
Liam looked at her as if she were his home. She was the only family he had left, except for two estranged cousins who lived in Australia. She represented the only shelter he had from everything in the world. She was his grandmother, his mother, sister, and most importantly, friend.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.
If the loss of that amazing old woman would affect me in any way, that feeling would be amplified a million times for Liam.
We got to the hospital a few minutes later, and Mom decided to stay in the car. I promised to get her a coffee from the hospital and I rushed inside.
The hospital was quite elegant. It had wards with a circular design, where the nurses' station was at the center of the ward with all the rooms visible to the nurses. The walls and doors were glass and they had curtains that can be closed for patient's privacy. I heard people moaning and calling for the nurses. The lights were dim. I heard beeps and monitors buzzing and an occasional intercom call.
“Excuse me?” I tapped on a nurse’s shoulder. “Where’s the reception?”
“Take a left, you’ll find it right there. As a matter of fact, I’m going there right now. Follow me.”
I followed the nurse with fiery red hair that was stuffed into a net, and the reception was right where she said it would be. I walked to the receptionist and gave her a smile.
“Hello.” She didn’t answer. “Would you possibly know where a boy, Liam Black, would be? He’s here, right now.
She looked up at me, dark brown eyes piercing through me. “And who are you?” Her jaw chewed gum noisily and rapidly. I felt as if I was wasting every minute of her life.
“His best friend,” I replied in less than a second. The nurse grimaced.
“Look, he’s in the third floor. Room 561. Floor 3.”
I went into the elevator, and practically ran to the room. I stopped in my tracks in front of the room.
Why was I even doing this? Liam still didn’t want to be my friend.
Because he’s suffering and you care about him.
I took my courage in two hands and knocked on the door three times. After a few seconds, the door opened, revealing a disheveled Liam. My heart softened at the sight in front of me.
His hair was completely messed up, there were tear streaks on his cheeks, and his eyes were empty looking. They widened at the sight of me.
“I know I shouldn’t have come here, but I wanted to see you, I wanted to tell you something.” I stopped for a second, my eyes falling on the elderly woman sleeping in her bed, a million wires connected to her. “Why didn’t you tell me, you idiot?”
He looked at me with a blank stare, and I walked past him and sat on one of the chairs beside Darla Black. She was pale, and tired. The soft risings of her chest were the only sign of her being still alive, and her faint heart beat.
“Hey, Darla.” I said, tears forming into my eyes. “Can you believe your grandson? He didn’t tell me that you were here.” I chuckled dryly.
Someone tapped my shoulder, and I turned to the familiar screen of Liam’s phone.
“CHD, (Coronary Heart Disease). She's been fine, but about two weeks ago she got an attack. The doctors say that she doesn't have much time.”
My heart fell, even though Liam’s neighbor had mostly informed me. I couldn’t believe that this was real, that this was really happening.
"I'm sorry," traced his lips.
I replied. “No, I am.”
And I hugged him.
He stiffened. I could feel him hesitating, but he reluctantly wrapped his arms around me as well. We stayed that way for a long time, and time seemed to pass by slowly, every second taking its time to pass by.
There was a silent confirmation of our friendship.
“Lena! Is that you, dear?” said a throaty voice. I jumped in the air, but smiled at the sight of Darla. She was awake now, her blue eyes, and the same shade as Liam’s, holding a twinkle that I’d seen so often.
I went by her side, and so did Liam. “Darla! Long time no see, eh?”
She chuckled and coughed at the same time and Liam tensed.
“How’s your life going?” She asked, as if she was home, knitting a winter sweater for Liam.
I shrugged. “Nothing special. I sent my college application last night, actually.” I felt Liam’s eyes on me. Darla’s mouth dropped a little and she patted my hand.
“So did Liam, yesterday!” She chuckled softly, a small coming out as well. I was alarmed, and I clutched her hand in fear.
“You okay?”
She waved her hand over her face, and nodded. “Never better.”
Liam reached out and held her hand as well, placing it over mine. I tried to ignore the shocks that slightly jolted my body. Darla’s eyes went to our hands and she chuckled, as if sharing an old joke with herself.
“Do you have any new jokes?” I asked.
Her eyes lit up, and the wrinkles on her face seemed to fade from the joy. “What did the green grape say to the purple grape?”
I stayed silent.
“Breathe, idiot. Breathe!” And she broke into laughter. We laughed heartily with her, still cautious.
I had to admit; hearing Liam laugh made me feel better. And it felt like old times, when Darla would sit on her old, oak rocking chair and tell us jokes, as her face glowed with tranquility.
She blinked several times, and her presence was deflated every time she blinked. She finally closed her eyes, and soft snores were heard. She’d fallen asleep again.
I looked down to our hands, which hadn’t left Darla’s. He typed something on his phone with his free hand and showed me.
“You came for the coffee, didn’t you?”
I simply replied with: “You promised.”
“The hospital’s cafe has the best coffee around.”
I smiled. “Let’s go then. Mom wants a coffee too; I’ll give her one and then tell her to go home. You’ll drive me home anyways.”
I turned to him, and his eyes were burning into me.
They could say every word his lips and tongue couldn’t. They were the way he expressed himself, and I found it bizarre yet normal that I could read them so easily.
There was fear laced with relief.
I nodded. “I’m glad we’re friends again too, idiot.”