Chapter 5: Dracuwoman and Gwenpee
“Is this for real?” I asked as I drew the curtain back, the loud screech of metal on metal making me cringe. Raising an eyebrow, I turned my body to look in the mirror of the department store.
My day of shopping was going surprisingly well. I had managed to find the mall that was a mere 15-minute drive from Aunt June’s house. The mall had been surprisingly empty due to the fact it was a school day allowing me to roam around freely.
Apart from accidently bumping into a woman with a coffee because I was too busy gawking at the mall, everything was going fine. That is until right now. Because at the moment I am trying my school uniform that consists of a skirt. Yes, I said skirt. A fricking S-K-I-R-T, who…what…why?
Aunt June had already paid for the uniform it was just a case of getting a blouse that fit, unfortunately my aunt had miscalculated my size and thought I had a body of a five-year-old resulting my shirt being a couple sizes too small, which meant it was tight in both the stomach and chest area. I wasn’t a self-conscious person, but there was only so much I could tolerate. I tugged down on the back of the skirt in an attempt to make it reach my knees, not a chance. It sprang back up to half thigh length.
The woman came over to me and brushed my hands away before running her hand over the skirt, rushing away invisible dust. “Oh yes, Crystal high is one of the most prestigious high schools in the state, it is an honour to attend there. Hopefully, my daughter will be attending their next year.”
My eyes followed her and as she left to go pick up the black pumps in my size I mimicked her, “Oh yes, Crystal high is one of the most prestigious high schools in the state, it is an honour-”
She turned around my shoes in her hand, with a raised eyebrow she questioned. “Did you say something?” pressing my lips into a thin line I watched her in the reflection in the mirror as I shook my head.
I slapped my hand against my thigh as I looked at myself in the mirror, letting out a disgusted noise; I held it up, “Why is it so fucking short?” I hissed as I once again tried to yank it down. The assistant looked round her eyes wide as she eyed me with disappointment.
“Gweneviere, that language is not tolerated in this store.” she said her voice a stern whisper.
“Call me Gwen…” I narrowed my eyes, “and I look like a slut.” I concluded as I reached for the shoes she was holding up, waiting for me to take them. Her hand lowered and I held a hand up cutting her off when she started to say my name.
“Gwe-” she started, I put my finger to her lips before she gave me a lecture on my bad language.
“Sorry, I can’t help it. No swearing.” I told myself and offered her a slight smile when she stepped back her lips pressed into a tight line.
Clasping her hands in front of her she asked in a forced tone, “Shall I go get your cardigan?”
I nodded and as she left I turned to walk into the dressing room, not before I accidently stubbed my bare toe on the corner of the wall as I went to turn around to walk back into the dressing room when I did the worst thing possible- I stubbed my toe on the entrance of the wall. Hopping around, I clutched my bruised foot and hollered in pain. “Ow! Fucking, OWWWW!”
My wails of pain where cut off when the lady swung around and shouted my name making me turn around to glare at her. Has she never stubbed her toe on the corner of something before? Has she never felt this pain? I feel like I just got shot!
“Yeah, yeah.” I managed to hiss out as I sucked in sharp breaths through my clenched teeth. I made my way into the dressing room, still hoping I tried to avoid her stares as I closed the dressing room curtain, effectively blocking her out. Turning around I stuck my leg out and pulled my lip back in disgust, the dull grey checked pattern did nothing for my skin. I wasn’t pale and I wasn’t sun kissed, I was well…me. I was told by my dad that I had inherited a lot of my mums features, the green eyes included. I jumped when the curtain was pulled back and met the eyes of the woman through the reflection as she stood there with my cardigan in her hands.
“Your cardigan.” She chucked it in my outstretched arms making me pull a face, well, someone on their Jammy Dodger.
I didn’t bother closing the curtain as I tried to lift my arms since I only had a limit amount of room to move in the blouse since it was restricting me.
“Um, “ I began as I pulled it over and down my middle. “Look, I know you work here and everything but is it really meant to be this tight?” I asked.
The woman cocked her head to the side, her eyes gliding over my figure. “It fits perfectly; it’s not too tight at all.” She assured and I hummed as I pulled at the buttons.
Turning my head to the side, I frowned. “Don’t you think I look like one of those girls from the cliché movies? The one that’s a real bitch and always gets her way.” I asked and the woman just smiled as she began picking up plastic wrapping that had held my uniform.
“You look like the sort that will fit in perfectly.” she told me and my mouth slightly dropped as I blinked at her through the mirror. Did she just indirectly call me a bitch?
Turning around I motioned to my uniform, I should just ask and get it over and done with. “Do all the girls dress like this?”
When she nodded I internally groaned and mentally cursed the woman for adding to my list of ‘why I am dreading my new school’. Had my aunt really sent me to a prestige’s school, where everyone was uptight and snobby? I sure a public school isn’t like that. Wait? I am going to a private school, right?
“In that case, I would like a bigger size, please.” I asked turning to face her. She blinked a couple of times as if she wished she hadn’t heard me correctly. When she didn’t say anything I raised an eyebrow.
“Is there a problem with me getting a bigger size?” I asked, annoyance creeping into my tone. My patience is already wearing thin and this lady really knew how to push my buttons.
Fiddling with her thumbs, she said. “Your guardian has already paid and it takes a couple of days for the clothing to be processed and made. We can call you when we have more material in stock.” She suggested and I let out a long sigh as I brushed my bangs away from my face.
“Forget it; I will just talk to my aunt tonight.” I told her as I scurried away to get changed back into my jeans.
How can they not have a bigger size? This is a shop for goodness sake!
After everything was neatly wrapped into a bag I stepped away from the woman only to bump into a shelf of blazer, I cringed when some of them fell on the floor, the hangers making a loud clattering sound as they met the wooden floor.
“Woah, sorry!” I jumped away only to stumble into some skirts. I grabbed a hold of them to stop myself from falling.
Right that’s it! I am going to army crawl to the door!
The lady offered a hand to steady me. “It’s fine... and so is that.” Her voice betrayed her and I could hear the hint of annoyance as she practically guided me to the door making sure I didn’t cause any more destruction. She probably wanted to bitch slap me.
I wanted to bitch slap me.
After she practically pushed me out the door my smile fell and a scowl took over my face when the raindrops began to pour down, the droplets thick and heavy instantly soaking my hoodie and jeans. Sighing, I pulled up my hood and tucked the uniform under my hoodie so it was pressed flat against my stomach, keeping it dry. Quickening my pace, I headed towards the direction of where I think I had parked my car.
As I half ran my converse began to squeak as I took one hand away holding the uniform to stop if from sliding down to wipe away the raindrop that was dripping of my nose. I watched it drop and chuckled to myself, if anyone saw me know cross eyed and watching raindrop’s they would probably think I’m crazy.
I was almost to my car when I roughly bumped into someone sending me a couple of steps back, my nose hurt and my ankle throbbed from the force of reacting so quickly to catching myself. A frowned and moved my hood away from my face to look at what I had walked into. Did I walk into a wall or a parking ticket post?
Of course it wasn’t. It was a guy. My eyes widened when I realised it was the boy from last night, the one who didn’t have a shirt on. I think his name is…Kai? No, Kris? Um…Kyle! That’s it Kyle. Even beneath the blue baseball hat that had turned black from the rain I could recognise him. I didn’t get to open my mouth when he growled out a, “Watch where you going!” before roughly walking past me, his shoulder roughly bumping into mine making me step back.
Mouth agape, I turned and shouted back. “You watch it, moron.”
Ugh, what a dick. I preferred him when he’s intoxicated. I moved my shoulder in a circular motioning an attempt to ease the pain as I carried on walking back to the car, the whole time I grumbled about rudeness and how he hadn’t even acknowledged me when I had shouted back, he just kept walking!
You know what Gwen? You should have ran and dropped kick him in the back!
I snickered at the mental images that formed in my head. My smile soon dropped when I realised I had parked my car on the other side of the freaking world (it was on the other side of the car park).
Once I got in the car, I pulled the bagged fabric from my hood and chucked it into the passenger seat, I can’t believe I kept them safe and dry. Then again, I would rather keep them dry then walk into school looking like a complete idiot who ruined her clothes after one day.
After, I shook my hair and flicked the heater on and aimed it at my hair in an attempt to take away some of the wetness, the weather was so unpredictable here. First, it was warm, so warm that it was impossible to fall asleep without melting and now it's bloody pouring down with rain. I used my fingers through my locks and hissed every time my fingers got tangled in a knot monster, the evil little beasts.
Don’t tell me you have never heard of the knot monster! No? Well, he is evil, when you’re not looking he will tie you hair into painful knots and as soon as you run a comb through it, he is giggles like a fat kid on a sugar rush < that’s me!
Putting the car into drive, I slammed on the breaks when an old man stepped out. Waving my hands hysterically, I backed out of the parking space ignoring his shouts of abuse. Mother fu**** walks out in front of me and has the cheek to blame me? Why I should run him over.
Seriously Gwen? First you wanted to kill a taxi driver, then innocent birds, a five year old and now you’re contemplating whether or not you should run an old man over? What is wrong with you? You should just walk to the mental hospital and hand yourself over it will make it a lot quicker and easier, crazy bitch.
Grunting at my inner thoughts I watched the man with distaste as I drove away. Grandpa needs to keep his diapers on. He’s on my hit list…
Whoa, now you have created a hit list. I’m really going insane.
Wow, just imagine explaining that to Aunt that I would be going to prison for ‘accidentally’ running an old man over, ‘Hey June, I’m going to prison for a couple of years because I accidently knocked an old man over. I'm sorry, I thought his plastic hip would save him’. For some reason, I have a feeling she will be on my side and purposely try to make out it was the old man’s fault.
Ignoring the near hit and run, I focused on the drive back making sure to watch every road as I tried to navigate the way back without Tom, I needed to learn the routes as quick as possible. As I drove home, I began to go over how I felt about the whole moving thing. I was actually surprised at myself. I had taken to my aunt in a matter of days and it almost feels as if I have known her my entire life. I know it’s weird saying that after I have only been with her for a day, but it feels right, it feels as if it’s meant to be.
Sweet Jesus, I'm starting to sound spiritual!
As soon as I thought those words, the radio became static as I drove through the little part of the woods. I looked around expecting a ghostly light and the doors to heaven open to see ice cream and Michael Jackson opening his arms wide for me (uh, that sounds kind of perverted, but you catch my drift) .The rain had finally stopped and bits of sunlight shone through the canopy, making it look almost magical, I did say ‘almost’ (this isn’t twilight although I wouldn’t mind Jacob black jumping out shirtless in front of my car, I would purposely faint in his arms).
-XO-
Yawning, I rolled over and tugged at the covers that were tucked between my legs, the soft breeze from the open window made me shiver and I frowned when the covers wouldn’t budge. Then I felt it, the stare of another. I kept still slightly scared that I was being watched by something or someone. It’s like the night you watch a horror movie and as soon as you turn out the lights you instantly thing the creature is in the room with you and the only thing keeping it away is by sleeping with your back to the wall and keeping your eyes closed. Which is something I don’t understand, I mean can you see this happening:
Fred: We can’t do anything.
Jason: Why? let’s just kill her already.
Fred: We can’t.
Jason: Why not?
Fred: Her eyes are closed its impossible.
Jason: *Gasps* No! What kind of sorcery is this? Look, she opened her eyes. Rawr!
Fred: That still won’t work, she hiding under her covers.
Jason: God damn it! I’m sick of this shit let’s just find a homeless person!
See? But let’s all not pretend that that’s not the case when where all crapping ourselves and thinking about climbing in our parents bed. Deciding to get it over and done with...I mean I had my covers as protection and we all know that’s ‘un-penetrable’, notice the sarcasm. I peeked open an eye and shrieked, jumping back when I caught sight of the masked face inches from mine. Rolling away I yanked the covers up as protection as I blinked at the person.
“I vant to suck your blood.” it hissed.
I screamed and covered my face with the blanket, when the intruder began cackling I slowly lowered the blanket and glared at my aunt who thought it was funny to wake me up with a Dracula mask and cape.
Grabbing my pillow, I chucked it at her; it hit her square in the face almost knocking the stupid mask off. “You idiot, you scared the hell out of me!” placing a hand over my beating heart I sat up and peeked at the woman who was now rolling on the floor in hysterics.
Ignoring her, I flopped back down and muttered an angry, “Very funny. Ha-ha.”
Aunt June’s pale hand appeared on my bed making me shrink away as she pulled herself up. I could feel the smile through the mask as she poked me in the ribs making me squirm away. “You pooped your pants.” She snickered.
I rolled my eyes at her and motioned with a flick of my head to the costume, “What are you wearing? Wait, isn’t that a superman outfit?” I questioned my eyes drawn to the huge ‘S’ in the middle of the costume. I snickered when I caught sight of the foamy muscles on her arm and a defined six pack; she even had a bulge near her private parts. A black cape (she obviously lost the red one) was thrown casually over her shoulders. To finish off she has a Dracula mask which was secured firmly to her head, the fangs hanging out and fake blood dripped down the pale chin.
Remind me when she is busy to give him a mono-brow; maybe he won’t look as scary.
My aunt spread her arms wide and placed her leg on the bed in a hero pose, “What do you think? I call myself Dracuwoman!” she declared her voice was deep and she sung ‘dun, dun, dun’ under her breath to finish off as she flipped her cape behind her. I snickered when it hit her in the face before falling gracefully behind her.
Looking up to the ceiling with a sigh, I asked God almighty, “Are you kidding me?” Before flopping back down on my bed, not before I caught sight of the time. “Aunt June have you seen the time? It’s 6 o’clock in the morning!”
Aunt June tutted and grabbed onto my arm and gave it a quick tug. “I want to go for a coffee before your first day of school.” she sang and I internally groaned. She just had to remind me. My last free day was spent touring around with my aunt and sharing fond memories and before I knew it the day was gone and it was time to go to school.
I stayed laying down and let out a loud snore, silently telling her that I couldn’t be bothered to get up.
An Aunt June cackled evilly and the rubbing of skin could be heard, I cracked an eye open and frowned when I see her hands rubbing together. When she spoke her tone was creepy, “Fine, but if you don't get up…I will dress you myself.” She giggled and I instantly sat up, my eyes suddenly open and my mind ready to take on the day. My eyes flew open and I pulled a face.
“Uh, no thanks.”
Aunt June nodded but her voice showed her disappointment, “Okay, but I really wanted to dress you. That doesn’t matter now, guess what? I made you a costume too!” she clapped her hands together in glee and I got out of bed so fast that I almost fell face first on the floor.
“That’s okay!” I laughed the sound strangled as I snatched my uniform of the dresser and walked backwards towards the bathroom. I was too scared to give my back to her in fear she decided to jump me. “Look, I'm wide awake now. How about that coffee, hmm? I’m just going to get dressed.” I motioned to the bathroom with my thumb and practically fell into the room and locking the door behind me. Wiping invisible sweat of my forehead, I let out a ‘phew’. That had been close, to close.
I had shown my uniform to my aunt last night and she had insisted that the uniform was a perfect fit and refused to order me a bigger size. She had said…what’s that word she used? Ah, that’s it…banging. Yep, that is exactly what she said.
After drying my hair and applying a little bit of mascara to bring a little pop to my eyes I made a strangling noise as I shook the tie around, getting fed up I tried it around my straightened hair and across my forehead. Looking in the mirror, I raised my chin and nodded to myself.
“You can do this. You are Gweneviere Matthews, just make friends and try not to lose your temper. Maybe you could join a band because I must say this loose tie is working for you. Wink.” After nodding to myself and glancing at the door I had unlocked (I had forgotten my underwear) satisfied that aunt June wasn’t about to walk in I began strumming on my air guitar.
Yeah, I should totally join a band, too bad I can’t sing, or dance or play an instrument. Yeah, I have no chance whatsoever. Ohh, maybe I could blow bubbles or do the worm across the stage. No, that wouldn’t work; I would most probably end up doing a painful belly flop. At least the audience would clap out of pity.
I looked into the mirror to admire my air strumming skills when I caught sight of a creepy smiling face, smiling at me. My aunt pulled open the door and threw her hands wide, almost hitting me in the face as she decided to invite herself to my party. “So you wanna be a big rock star! La la la…” her hands lowered and a frown took over her face as she tried to remember the words, when she did her hand flew back up clipping my cheek. “…driving fifty cars, the drugs come easy and we just won’t sleep!” she sang while doing huge circles as if she was imitating Elvis Presley. Let me tell you something, she would have been a rubbish stunt double.
When Aunt June realised I was no longer joining in she smiled widely before pulling the skin of my cheek. Ow!
“Don’t forget these.” She singsong as she placed my shoes and socks in my waiting hands. As she decided to adventure through my bathroom essentials I pulled on the knee length socks using the wall for support. When I slipped on the horrible platform shoes I pulled a face at my reflection.
“I look like a nerd.” I complained, using the mirror to watch her as she sniffed a bottle of perfume, after pulling a face and screwing the top on she turned to look at me.
“Oh honey, no you don't, you look hot.” She assured making me snort.
“Are you sure you’re straight?” I asked.
My aunt waved a hand in the air as if rushing me off. “Of course! I’m as straight as a roundabout.” she laughed and enlightened me with a slow wink.
After deciding that I had taken too long to get ready my aunt insisted that we leave. After she had gone down stairs I had kicked off the ugly shoes and replaced them with a pair of black converse. I was in a better mood since the street was silent allowing me to fall into a blissful sleep which I very much appreciated. We were now sitting in my car and my aunt had replaced tom with herself making the journey less enjoyable as I had had enough of her shouting, “No turn right, here. I said here!” Leaving me to repeatedly smack the wheel and tell her, “Nobody likes a back seat driver.” My aunt being the woman with a comeback for everything had just said, “I'm not in the back seat, duh.”
Somebody please kill me now. I thought it was bad with her driving but having her as a passenger is even worse. We had pulled in to a café that was approximately a 4 minute drive from the school. It was still early and the car park was beginning to fill up with expensive cars with business men and woman coming to get their morning coffee. I climbed out and expected to hear the other car door shut, when I didn’t I leaned down to look at my aunt.
Her door was open, one leg hanging out and her arms folded across her chest.
“Aunt June, what are you doing? Come on.” I hissed while motioning with a quick flick of my head to the café doors.
Aunt June raised her chin in the air and stubbornly began, “My name is Dracuwoman.” she informed and I let out a huge groan.
Did I forget to mention she still hadn’t taken her ridiculous costume of yet?
Looking at the clock on my dashboard I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, reopening them I stared at my aunt willing her to ditch the costume and have a nice breakfast to help calm my nerves for the first day of school. “Aunt June. We don’t have enough time for this.” I told her calmly.
She looked away from me. “I'm not leaving until you call me by my superhero name,” she declared, making my mouth drop.
I blinked a couple of times and replayed her sentence in my head making sure I had heard it right. When she didn’t move from her position I realised she was being dead serious. After waiting for the man who had walked past up to be out of earshot I whispered, “Come on, Dracuwoman.” I whispered, lowly my head ducked down.
“Sorry, what was that? I didn’t hear you. You have to announce to the world that I am here.” She gestured with her arm to the ‘world’.
I rubbed the spot of my temple.
A headache, a big headache is something my aunt seems to be good at.
“For the love of god.” I looked up at the sky and decided to get the embarrassment over and done with. “DRACUWOMAN IS HERE PEOPLE!” I shouted, my chest slightly heaving and falling as I leaned down to look at her. I ignored the lady who had jumped and almost dropped her coffee from my outburst and asked my aunt in a snappy tone, “Happy now?”
I swear this woman was on this earth to make a fool out of me.
Aunt June smiled slyly before climbing out and in a deep voice said, “Dun, Dun, Dun.” She then proceeded to place one foot on the curb and pose, her cape flapping in the little wind. “Have no fear, Dracuwoman is here.” She announced loudly, she even saluted at passer-by’s. When she looked at me and motioned with her finger for me to come forward I slightly crouched behind the car, away from curious eyes. “I’m here and I’m queer, with my minion, Gwenpee.” She shouted to the crowd of onlookers.
Peeking over I hissed at her, “Gwenpee, seriously?”
Deciding enough was enough I walked around the car and took hold of her still raised arm. When I met the eyes of a man in a black suit, a newspaper tucked under one arm I patted my arms head. “Haha.” I laughed nervously. “Aunt June, did you forgotten to take your medicine this morning?” I asked loudly and it was as if I silent understanding passed through the people as they continued on, understanding in their eyes.
Wow, if anyone does anything stupid I guess it’s okay to presume their mentally ill, maybe I should walk around like a gorilla and blame it on not taking my medication. People these days.
My aunt just grabbed onto my arm and allowed me to lead her into the café where I order us both some breakfast, after pulling her away from people where she was telling stories of how she would save the world. Breakfast surprisingly went smoothly and apart from clearing out the tables around us I enjoyed it. We entered the café after she had told random people that she would save and rule the world. We spoke about everything and she picked up on the conversation from yesterday- I was telling her about my day and she fell asleep, drool and snoring included. Before I knew I had to leave.
Grabbing my purse I stood up and planted a quick kiss on my aunt cheek, “I have to go to school now, see you later Aunt June!” Aunt June waved her knife, her eyes on my foot that I hadn’t eaten because of stupid nerves. Once at the door I glanced over at her, she was scoffing my pancakes down, I snickered when she dropped one on the table and looked around to see if anyone noticed before shoving it in her mouth.
Yep, she will be fine until her boss gets here. Her boss will be picking her up in 10 minutes and if I see my PA in a mixture of super hero costumes and chocolate sauce down their chin, I wouldn’t hesitate in firing their ass.
As I drove, my eyes kept glancing towards the time as if watching it would make it go slower and the more time I would have to compose myself before I had to enter the gates of hell or otherwise known as high school.
Thank you for reading please comment, vote and fan.
Chloex xXx
Dracuwoman will be very happy : )