Suicidal/self harming Reader x Levi

Love?

Y/N POV
"Sorry..." You lifted your head up and looked into Levi's eyes, you swore you could have looked into his eyes forever, they were just so dreamy and perfect, and then hearing his deep monotone voice snapped you out of your thoughts "(F/N)?", "Yeah, what is it Levi?" you replied, he sighed, "you have to stop." you looked down at your shoes, "stop huh", "yes," "Levi I don't know if I can do it..." Levi took your hand into his and said, "I know you can, trust me, I believe in you." and in that moment you saw Levi leaning in closer towards you as if he were going to kiss you, you stood their in shock and pushed him back, he was looking at you confused and you just looked at him wide eyed, "Levi I think you should go now," "wait (F/N) I'm sorry I tried to kiss you I mean-" "out" you said pointing towards the front door, and he was just about to close the door behind him he said almost in a whisper, "I love you", but no you regretted him, as you said before, You didn't want to get close to him or anyone, just in case...... In cased you actually succeeded in suicide, unlike failing in all your other prior attempts, 'but why, why did he lie, saying he loved me, no one has ever said that to me before', you though, you decided that, that was enough, you walked to your bathroom like you do every night and decided to cut... letting your warm crimson blood drip off your body, making you feel relief and somewhat calm, cutting gets things off of your mind, and makes you feel like you are finally worth something... And that something isn't good.
You go to your room and lay down on your bed, crying for no particular reason, it was a way that you could get your emotions out, nice and easy.
You knew that Levi is a nice guy, and your mind just keeps on remaining itself of what he had said earlier on. 'I Love You'. 'Love, it's such a horrible word, it make people swoon over each other and make them feel 'special' when really they are eventually going to stab you in the back and tell you that they are just using you...' You thought due to your memories of your parents and what had happened to their relationship years ago....