Fear is something that easily consumes us. It serves as an emotion to get our heartbeat racing and reaches into the back of our mind and scream at us that we are not safe. And of course, us humans must always be safe. We must always make sure everything is in control. Phobias are created to make us feel safe. They are there put thoughts into our head that everything is okay.
That everything is normal.
Sometimes those reassuring thoughts don't work. And so what comes from fear is another emotion, panic and finally leading up to paranoia. We find ourselves becoming twitchy, making sure what is around the corner won't come out to bite us. Unfortunately, there was no phobia that related to me.
So here I was, feeling emotions that made me go into a crazed spiral. I sat on the park bench, cowering as people walked by. Afraid if they saw through me, scared they were going to see a maniac. Terrified I was someone else. Something else.
My knees were tucked to my chest as I quivered. I didn't even remember what happened, it all happened so slow. I accidentally put things in slow motion in the lab. I somehow ended up in Central Park. Not the best place when you were afraid. When you were insecure. Children's laughter surrounded me as they held their parent hand.
My parents did that once.
I guess it's time I tell my tale of my parents. Before I was born, my mother was a young and a beautiful agent. She was high ranked and respected by everyone who knew her. But she, just like her stubborn daughter is, wanted to have a cookie cutter life. Unbothered by the horrible things in this amazing yet awful world.
So she let herself trip over a amazing and yet awful thing called love. Her love was my father, a man of much dignity and a soft heart. He had also worked for S.H.I.E.L.D but was not a field agents. He worked on the computers because of his knowledge. My mother said she fell in love with that part of him, his wisdom when he was still so young. Their relationship advanced rapidly and soon my father found himself on one knee. They were married, a young couple with what seemed like plenty of life ahead of them.
Then I was born and my mother realized she had achieved the cookie cutter life. As I grew up, I saw how my mother and father kissed and only dreamed of finding my soulmate. But dreams change quickly.
My mother had began to think the average American life wasn't so wonderful as she thought it would be and started to get bored. She decided to go back to work. I remember walking downstairs one night to my mother and father fighting. He thought that if she didn't come back then he wouldn't be able to do it. Raise me and live without my mother. But she was persistent.
Eventually, she was back where she worked and as soon as I could spell my name I was put into training.
But as time passed, their love for each other slowly dissolved. My dad was fed up with my mother being stubborn and always leaving. He hated the fact I would be put into danger because my mother was bored. My mother thought of it as helping people. She had felt good about herself for a very long time. But my father did not listen and gave her an ultimatum, either him or her job.
You can guess which one she choose.
They both earned custody in the papers but I wanted out. I had still been trained and I started to go on missions, climbing the latter. My last name I am ashamed to say gave me a boost here and then. For my fathers side, he quit his life at S.H.I.E.L.D. And traded it in as an accountant. His was dull, every second of every moments was the same as the last. So as the child I was, I mostly leaned toward my moms side, finding my self going on missions as often as a child would go to the candy store.
Now, I wanted to see my dad. I wanted to see his life. When I realized I wanted to see my father, I uncoiled from the park bench and started to head to an ATM. I got money and headed to the bus stop. When he sent me letters while I was in D.C., he lived in a Pittsburg in an apartment on 4th street. So I headed to New York Penn station. And started my spontaneous journey.
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Finally, after trains, buses and walking the streets of Pittsburg, I found 4th street and found his complex. I got to the front doors and looked for his name on the board. There on a yellowing piece of paper in black lettering read Kronfitz.
I brought my finger up to the buzzer but I had a moment of hesitation. I hadn't seen this man in years. He never called, only sent letters. Did I even remember the sound of his voice? What if he was mad at me for leaving him for a better life? But I shook it off and hit the buzzer. Not to long after, the door was unlocked. I was expecting him to ask who it was but I was let it. I went up the elevator and on the ride, my mind races with doubts. 'I should just turn around, he'll never know' but the elevator doors opened. I made myself move my legs to room 306.
302, 303, 305
I finally reached his door, my heart somehow beating harder. I forced my hand to knock on the door. Why did I come here? There might be a new owner. He's not even going to recognize me-
My thoughts were interrupted as a man opened the door. He had dark brown hair with many grey strands and beard with the same colors. He was dressed in comfortable clothes and his glasses that were at the tip of his nose as always. Underneath the glasses he had same blue eyes that I had. When he saw me, those eyes widened and his mouth slightly opened. "Cricket?"
"Hey dad," I managed to squeak out. I held my hands behind my back. Without warning, I was wrapped in my fathers embrace. I hugged him back and I realized that I missed his goodnight hugs that he used to give me.
After a long hug, he let go and looked at me from head to toe.
"Come in, come in," my dad said. I walked through the door and he closed the door behind me. I looked around at his pristine apartment. Everything was clean and organized unlike my place in D.C. "How are you, Amelia? What have you been doing? Why are you here?" My dad sputtered out. I sat down on his brown couch. He went to the kitchen.
"I'm not doing so good," I honestly say. "I've kind of got myself into some trouble."
"Oh, Cricket, you're not into those drugs are you?" My dad asked as he emerged from the kitchen with a glass of lemonade in his hand. He knew me too well.
"No, dad," I say, slightly smiling.
"Then what is it?" He asked me as he sat down on his worn out leather chair.
"It's kind of a long story," I warn.
"Amelia Max, long is the amount I time I haven't seen you. We have some time to catch up, I believe," my dad says, using my middle name and his first name.
"I can't argue with that," I shyly say and take a sip of lemonade. "We'll start with me resigning from S.H.I.E.L.D. Mom wasn't to happy with that."
"When is that women happy?" My dad asked and we both chuckled a bit.
"That's what I've been wondering. Anyway I lived in D.C. for awhile. Oh dad! You won't believe it! I met the Captain America! He is so nice and sweet. We would run every morning together. I'm pretty sure he would let me win but-"
"So Captain America is your boyfriend?" My dad asked.
"What? No! Dad!" I say as if I'm a little girl again, disregarding boys.
"Amelia, I know you very well. And the way you take about him is how you used to talk about that one agent, Grant, I think his name was," my dad recalled.
"God, don't bring up that name again. And anyway we are just friends," I said, thinking about Steve and I zone out. I wake back up to my fathers chuckling.
"Oh, Cricket, you're still very naive," my dad says as he takes the mug that sat on the coffee table. "Continue your story of troubles."
"Okay well, after awhile Steve and I were ambushed at a coffee place," my dads lips curled when I mention I was with Steve getting coffee. I ignored him. "And mom put me in one of those testes. The scenario was a creepy agency and Tony Stark and Bruce Banner was there."
"You are meeting all the big guys, aren't you?" My dad asked.
"You wouldn't believe. I figured out it was a test and when I got back to headquarters, they told me I was apart of the Avengers! I mean the nerve!" I explained. My dad chuckled. "That same day, headquarters was attacked by this organization called Cyclops."
My dads jaw tightened. "What?" I asked.
"We encountered them in the past. They weren't that big of a threat back then," my dad explained.
"Well now they are Fury's most wanted. During the attack, they tried to kill me with a high tech shot. I was dead for awhile until mom ordered Dr. Banner to put Celetitanium in me. It made me go insane. Later I found out that I can do this," I say. I then take my lemonade and jerk the glass up and down and the lemonade comes out of the glass in droplets. I make it all go in slow motion, the lemonade droplets stay there as they slowly fall.
"Well Cricket, you sure have aquirred some new tricks," my dad says and stares and the lemonade. I gather the lemonade in the glass again and let it fall regularly in the glass.
"And I can't sleep," I admit. "I haven't slept since I died and I'm wide awake."
"That one I'm not surprised about," my dad said.
"What do you mean?"
"Well Celetitanium is a fast moving element, your heartbeat is probably moving faster than any other human. I hate to break it to, cricket, but you may not sleep again," I dad tells me. I just sigh.
"Why am I not surprised?" I ask. "I mean, crazier things have happened to me sadly."
Yes, well, crazier things will happen," my dad told me. "Keep going, I sense there is more to this story."
"Alright well, now I'm staying at the Avengers Tower. They wanted to run some tests and it turns out my blood is white," I explain.
"That is odd," my dad says. I sigh.
"That's exactly why I ran away. Because I'm a freak. I'm the opposite of normal," I explain as my head hung low.
"Oh Amelia, don't be so dramatic," he says. My head shoots up.
"What?" I ask.
"You are not a freak. Quite opposite actually. Your blood is white because of the Celetitanium. It's an easy explanation. And you're abilities, that's makes you extraordinary," my dad tells me.
"But-"
"Remember what I used to say when you scraped your knee? Or got a paper cut? I said suck it up. And I'll say it again. Suck it up," my dad tells me.
"Wow, thanks dad," I reply, sarcasm was emphasized. My dad got up from his chair and sat down next to me.
"Cricket, you want to be normal but let me tell you something, normal is starting to be abnormal. You aren't normal, no, far from it. You are an amazing and wonderful girl who can easily do amazing and wonderful things," my dad reassured. My hung head once again, doubting his words. "Your scared aren't you?" My father asked.
I didn't say anything.
"You are afraid that you can't have those nice coffee dates with Steve. That's why you ran to me, because you wanted me to comfort you. You wanted me to tell you there are no monsters under your bed. Listen to me Amelia when I say this, you are beyond this world in so many ways that I can't help you out completely. I want you to go back to New York, go back to your friends. They are the ones that can help you understand. But me? I'm just here to be called your dad. Because there are monsters, apparently Greek mythology ones and I can't fight them off. You can. The only way you can do that is be the amazing self you are right now. The sooner you suck that up, the sooner you can have a coffee date," my dad tells me smiling. I smile as well.
"I think that's exactly what I wanted to hear," I tell him. He smirks.
"Now, off you go, you have an evil force to defeat," my dad says pushing me out of the door. "You can tell me everything else once you are back here. Alive I might add."
Once I'm at the door, I stop and turn around and hug him one more time. "I love you dad," I tell him.
"I love you more," he replies. "Now go, quickly before you friends crush a whole city looking for you."
Oh shoot. They probably looking for me right now. Uh oh.
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HELLO! ITS BEEN AWHILE HASNT IT. SORRY BOUT THAT. IM SORRY IF THIS CHAPTER IS KIND OF WEIRD? I WAS LISTENING TO SHOW TUNES WHILE WRITING THIS AND IT WAS HARD TO CONCENTRATE. ESPECIALLY WHEN I SANG ALONG.
THANK YOU!!