"Are you sure you're going to be okay alone tonight?"
I look up from my book to see my Dad standing in the entry of the library slash home office. I offer him a smile and a nod. "I'll be fine Dad. I need to catch up on this book anyways for English."
"You can come with you know. There will be dinner there and-"
"And a bunch of old snobs," I finish for him, "no offence but the limo's and the caterers aren't really my scene."
"I know they aren't darling," he sighs. He walks over to kiss me on the forehead. "I'll lock the door behind us okay? And use your new cell to call me if anything happens. You know my number don't you?"
"Dad," I groan, "You made me put your number into my phone the day I got it as you were hovering over my shoulder. But yes I know your number by heart."
"Good," he says with a satisfied. "Go to bed early will you? You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow, meaning surprises and presents and presents that are surprises and I want you up and awake by the time the rooster crows."
"Dad it's my eighteenth birthday, not my wedding day. Please let me sleep in," I beg.
"Don't have any parties while we're gone," he says instead as he turns around and walks out of the room.
"I'll be sure to burn down the house!"
I hear the door close shut so I got back to my reading. It's a wonder how my parents can stomach those horrible dinner parties.
I guess my Dad knew how depressed I am recently since my birthday is tomorrow and I have no one to celebrate it with. My parents know about Mary Jane and Ella obviously, as well as Lucas's and I's break up but they're just as clueless to Bash's disappearance as I am. They obviously know he's gone but they don't know why.
Would it be too weird to tell my Dad that Bash left because he thought I was getting back together with Lucas because he's in love with me and I'm upset about his absence because I'm in love with him too?
Yeah no, that's a conversation for my sister.
Speaking of, my phone blares beside me, startling me out of my thoughts. When I read the time I realize that it's already been twenty minutes since my parents left and the sun has been replaced by a sky full of stars and a bright moon.
"Hello," I ask into the phone.
"Little S," she yells, "Happy Birthday Beotch!"
"It's not my birthday yet Sarah. Are you drunk?"
"No I'm not drunk," she yells, "But I am at a bar and I know that I will be getting wasted soon enough so I won't be able to say happy birthday to you when it's twelve."
"Well thank you anyways," I laugh, "why are you at a bar by the way?"
"Oh well," she begins.
Suddenly something crashes upstairs and I know well enough that it's coming from my parent's room. My parents left a while ago and I would've been able to tell if they came back home early. No one else should be here.
"Sadie? Are you there," Sarah asks in the phone.
"Um," I begin, than I notice how quiet her side of the call is. If she were at a bar it would be much louder in the back ground. Besides, she said she would be coming for my birthday, just not when.
I smile into the phone, happy that my sister thought she was good enough to surprise me. "I'm sorry I just dropped my phone. What were you saying?"
I walk out of the office, careful to be quiet as I walk through my house and to my parents room. When we were younger, me and my sister discovered how easy it would be to slip in and out of our parent's bedroom because of the large tree beside the balcony. Of course neither of us have been rebellious enough to use that escape. Well I guess until now.
"So Martino is going after this guy alright? But he hates gay bars, he feels uncomfortable in them but this guy is the bartender so Martino that ass dragged me here only to leave me an hour in to make the bartender jealous! So now I've secluded myself in the girls bathroom."
"Is that why it's so quiet," I whisper, creeping closer to the door.
"Can you seriously not hear what's happening a stall over right now," she asks surprised.
"What do you mean," I laugh. I wrap my hand around the door knob, ready to push it open and catch my sister in the act.
"Um this," she says before pulling the phone away from me and towards the distinct sound of a woman moaning and hitting the side of the stall.
"Wait a second," I say, connecting the dots. "Are you honestly in New York right now?"
"Where else would I be," she asks confused.
I push open the bed room door, forgetting about the number one rule I've made for myself while watching scary movies: never go towards the killer.
Just as the door slams against the wall I see a figure jump off the ledge of the balcony past the open French doors. I can't hold back the scream that escapes my throat. Fear creeps into my bones and my nerves are sent hay wire.
My sister yells for me from my phone on the ground that I hadn't noticed I dropped. I pick it up quickly and press it to my ear as I run towards the doors and slam them shut, locking them too.
"Sadie are you okay? What's going on?"
"I'm fine," I assure her, "there was-"
A hand reaches out to grab my shoulder and on instinct I whip around and slam my phone into his face, making him stumble onto the bed, groaning in pain.
"Sadie," my sister yells again louder and more frantic.
"It's just Bash," I say angrily when I take notice of his face, "I'll call you tomorrow okay?"
I hang up the phone, not waiting for her response.
"What the hell do you think you're doing here Bash? Why would you scare me like that," I yell.
He stands up from the bed, holding his cheek in his hand. "I heard you scream."
I analyze his body suspiciously which looks the same as before of course. "How did you hear me scream? Were you in my house?"
"I just came through the front door and why the hell did you have to hit me with your phone? That hurt like a bitch."
"Well don't creep up on my like that! And you have no right to use that key anymore!" I yank the extra house key I gave him weeks ago before he left, out of his grasp.
"Why did you scream Sadie? Are you hurt?"
"No," I turn back around to look out to the back yard. Whoever was here is long gone by now. "I was just spooked, that's all."
"Do you want some water or something?" He rests a hand on my shoulder, spinning me back around. "We need to talk."
I subconsciously bite my lip. "Yeah we do." I walk past him, back out into the hallway and towards the stairs. "Sorry for hitting you by the way. It doesn't hurt that bad does it?"
"It hurt like a bitch," he mutters, "but it won't bruise if that's what you're asking."
When I get half way down the stairs I look back up wards to him. He doesn't look any different than he did a few weeks ago. I don't know why I expected to see a drastic change in him. "Good." I turn back around, feeling the tension ensue around us like a tight hug.
I need to tell him how I feel; I won't push it back any farther, he doesn't deserve that. But I've seen countless movies and shows where this same situation happens. I refuse to spill my guts only to hear what news he has to share which completely defies everything I said and thought. It's better if he tells me what he has to say first.
Oh god what if he met someone else while he was away? What if he's decided on moving? What if he got a girl pregnant? What if he's gay?
My stomach turns with nerves as I walk through the dark house. I turn on every light switch I pass, happy to be surrounded by light now. I don't think I'll be able to sleep after seeing an intruder in my parent's bedroom, despite how this talk with Bash might go.
"Are you hungry," I ask Bash once I turn on the kitchen switch.
"I don't think I'll be able to stomach anything," he says quietly, sitting down at the breakfast table in the corner.
"Oreo's and milk it is than," I say far too loudly. Of course as soon as I'm alone with Bash I begin to act like a little school girl with her first crush. "Lucas is worried about you just so you know," I tell him as I hunt down for the cookies. As soon as the words leave my mouth I want to slap myself silly and I even cringe, knowing what I said was wrong.
Bash laughs dryly. "Of course he is."
An awkward silence falls over the kitchen as I gather all the things and pour the milk into two glasses. I walk over to the table and only when I sit down do I notice the sad look on Bash's face.
"Bash," I say softly, reaching for his hand past the plate of cookies.
He lets me take his hand in mine. He looks down at our entwined fingers as if it's a new born baby.
"Where did you go?" It's been haunting me for the past two and half weeks, since he's been gone. The only place I could think of him going if not his house would be with Quinn. The thought caused me to see red as well as Quinn's murder. I hated how jealous I get now but I hate Quinn more. "Was it to see Quinn," I ask when he doesn't answer.
"She's across an entire ocean now Sadie. I couldn't have seen her if I even wanted to."
"So you don't want to see her again than?"
"I'm not here to talk about Quinn," Bash exclaims in an outburst, causing me to snatch my hand back to my chest. "I'm sorry," he says softly, "My life has seemed to turn upside down these past couple weeks."
"What happened," I ask concerned.
"Many things," he exhales a breath of exhaustion. "The first was that I got my mom's album back from Mason so I won't be going back there any time soon. Then I found an address on the back of one of my Mom's photo's with her family."
"You went there didn't you?"
Bash doesn't answer, instead his focuses his attention on the window that show cases the back yard.
"Bash," I say, catching his attention.
"They're really nice people Sadie," he says, his voice cracking, "all of them. Especially my grandparents. My Grandpa insists on me calling him Captain and my Grandma is in the hospital with dementia but she still loves her husband and guess what Sadie," he asks with a large smile.
"What," I ask with a smile just as large as his. Seeing him smile makes me smile.
"She remembers me," he says with a joyous laugh. "She remembers me being born and my mom being pregnant. Nobody even told her who I was when I walked into her room; she just knew."
"Oh Bash that's amazing," I say, feeling so happy for him.
"And I have cousins Sadie! One of them is in a band too and their singer was kicked out recently so I filled in for him for a couple gigs they had set up and it was amazing! We played music together for hours and I played cards with my grandma and I drove around with the Captain," he says laughing with wet eyes.
"Bash I'm so happy for you." I reach for his hand again, gripping it tightly.
His smile drops slowly and the happy feeling seems to fade. "I was fired Sadie."
"What," I ask confused. "Fired? From your job as the sound check guy at the venue in town?"
He nods his head slowly as if he's ashamed. "I'm sorry Bash," I say sincerely, "but it sounds like you had the greatest time these past two weeks."
"I did," he says with a smile, "so much that I forgot to ever call in to work and they fired me."
"I think you're qualified for something much better than checking the mikes and instruments. You're supposed to be playing them."
"You think so," he asks hopeful.
"I've heard you play and you are really good Bash, like girls hanging your posters above their bed good. You'll be the next Justin Bieber, just more masculine and more tattoos. If only there were five of you though. You could take the world by storm."
Bash's laugh fills the air. "You know if you said that to me a month ago I would have no idea who the hell you were talking about. But now thankfully I have a little girl cousin who has talked my ear off about those British guys."
"Which one is your favorite," I ask excitedly.
He rolls his eyes but smiles brighter none the less. "Lucky for you I'm trained for this answer. It's Larry."
I stare at his shocked for a few seconds before I lose all control and fall off my chair laughing. "Oh god," I cry, "I think I'm going to piss myself."
"Please don't." Bash's strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me back up until I'm sitting on his lap, my legs crossed over his.
"Did your little cousin tell you to say that," I ask once I calm down.
"I have a feeling that she fucked me over in some way."
I only nod my head.
Minutes pass in comfortable silence, with my head against Bash's shoulder, his finger tracing circles on my leg and back.
"Is there more," I ask him, ready to hear all about his happy adventures these past two weeks that have not shown me a second of happiness.
Bash tenses under me which I notice automatically. I pull away to look at him but he won't meet my gaze. "There is something else that happened to me. Actually today, right before I came here."
"Which is," I ask curious.
Bash finally looks up to me, his eyes boring into mine which I love so much. "Promise me that you will be honest with me."
I hesitate before I nod. Something inside of me is screaming for me to run but Bash's eyes hold me captive.
"Do you know that I'm in love with you?"
I stare at Bash in shocked silence for only a few second before I jump up faster than lightning and corner myself by the toaster on the counter; the opposite side of the kitchen.
Bash follows me, questions coming out faster than he can count and faster than I can think.
"When I spent the night here a few months ago, wasted off my ass, did I tell you I loved you? Did you lie to my face when I asked if I did something that morning? Did you watch me suffer, knowing every thought I had about you while you were wrapped up in my brother's arms? Did I kiss you and you kiss me back," he screams.
"Stop," I yell louder. "Please just stop!"
"Why," he asks, his face barely an inch from me. "Because you still love my brother? Because you got back together with him and you can't bother to make up your mind! I know you feel something for me Sadie! I see it in your eyes all the time but I was nice enough to not try to fuck up my brothers love life! How fucking stupid can I be!"
"How do you know about that night," I ask meekly.
"I went by my house today, before I came here so I could tell my father that my mom's family says 'burn in hell' but I also ran into Lucas who told me why he did what he did in the first place. Do you know how idiotic I felt when my brother told me that I kissed you while you were dating him and I couldn't even remember when? Then I realized the only time I could have kissed you and I wouldn't have remembered would be the night I spent here. And of course he told me that you kissed me back and you didn't fucking tell me!"
"What was I supposed to do," I ask, yelling at him back. "I couldn't tell you because I was afraid you would use it against me and Lucas! And don't tell me you wouldn't either! It would have complicated things more than they already were and I didn't want that! Gosh Bash we were supposed to be friends! What ever happened to that?"
When I said that to Quinn I meant it that Bash and I were more than friends, despite what we always said. I don't know how many times we called each other friends when we really weren't. If he said the same thing I did, what would he make it mean?
Bash doesn't answer for a long time, so long I begin to think that it was a horrible idea to open my mouth.
"I've called you my friend many times before," he speaks finally. "And at some point whenever I said it, it made me hurt more and more inside. I'm sorry Sadie but I can't be your friend anymore."
"What," I ask, tears pooling my vision and a damn the size of a truck in the back of my throat.
Bash situates us so I'm pressed against the counter and both of his hands are encasing me in. He leans in close to whisper in my ear.
"I want to be your special friend," he says softly. "I want to be the friend that you fall madly in love with. I want to know every shape, every line, every freckle, every shiver down your spine." I feel his chest rising up and down against me and I feel his harsh breaths against my face. "I'd rather have none of you than half of you. I don't want to share you Sadie," he pulls away to look down at me with sadness in his eyes.
"I want you to be mine, in every way possible. I want to be able to walk down the street holding your hand, pick you up from school, kiss you anytime I want no matter who's around us. I want to see you every day, I want to hold you in bed, and talk with you on the phone for hours. I don't want you to be afraid of someone seeing us together. I want to make love to you and not feel guilty about it when it makes someone else feels so bad because it makes me feel better than I have in my entire life. I'm sorry Sadie, but I'm making you choose."
I don't waste a second in pulling his lips to mine. At first Bash's response to my sudden action was nonexistent than slow than just as hungry as mine. Our lips clashed together and when that wasn't enough I took his bottom lip between my teeth and pulled. Bash moaned loudly, his eyes rolling back in his head.
"You," I say before thrusting my tongue in his mouth and discovering him all over again.
Bash placed a hand on my neck and one on my hip, both with a strong grip. His lower hand traveled under my sweat shirt, the only layer I was wearing, until he was gripping one of my breasts in his hand.
"I've missed these so much," he groaned before lifting my sweat shirt over my head and leaning down so his lips were all over my chest.
As much as I love Bash's skillful tongue and fingers, I don't have any more patience to waste. I want him, I need him.
I grab Bash's head, pulling him back up to my lips. "Just do it already," I tell him.
"Should I carry you to the bedroom," he asks, his arms already in position.
"Not enough time." I unzip Bash's pants in one fluent motion.
"Wait Sadie," he says, gripping my hips and pushing me gently away from him. "I want to make love to you," he says softly, "will you let me?"
I lean into kiss his lips softly. "We have all the time in the world to do that. For now we should fuck like animals." I bite his lip again, pulling it until he groans in pleasure.
"I love you so damn much," he says, gripping my own waist band and pulling it down until my pants and underwear on the floor.
I don't have time to say anything before Bash is pulling me down on the ground with him, our clothes acting as a comforter for my spine. He rips out a condom quickly from his pocket but I don't waste time worrying about why he has one with him anyways.
"Are you sure," Bash's asks as he hovers above me.
"Completely."
...
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
What do you guys think now???
Happy farts! Happy farts!!!