[hello readers! to start reading, if you have "Pray" by Younah, this song was an OST of school 2015, kindly play it on your playlist! This was requested by a reader, @straw_berry1312 but if you dont have this on your playlist, play Hold Me Tight instead~but please give a hear on Pray if you have time, it's really good!! have a happy reading!!]
{Haneul's POV}
"Shut up, Jungkook. You too! I don't want to see you, forever" I shouted as he lift his head up, looking at me, begging to take back my words.
I stayed quiet, shut my mouth for a second, and tried my best not to hug him. It was so hard to control these feelings, I hate him so much but at the same time, I want to make all our promises to each other before come true.
I want to be his Ms. Right so bad, but seeing him again after so many years.. It just disappoints me. It was better when all I know was, he became a good man and father because he hid his illness to me because he will die very soon. It was better when all I know was he left us because he died. It was better when all I know was he's gone and it's very impossible for us to meet again.
I prayed every night to see him even only in my dreams. I prayed every night to see him and to be with him again; and God answered all my prayers, but why am I being like this? He's already in front of me, talking to me. Why do I hurt him instead of bringing him back to my warm embrace? Why am I making him cry when it doesn't really matter to me if he left me clueless before? Why am I getting angry to reason I have already forgotten seven years back? Why am I turning into a monster I didn't want to be?
Why is it so hard to bring everything back again?
"Haneul.." he said and looked at me sincerely.
Jungkook, I want to call his name; but all I can do is cry inside.
"I love you.." he said that made me cry more.
"And I will not let go of you," he added. I turned back and bit my lips.
"Get out," I said and I heard his footsteps going towards the door.
"If ever you'll change your mind, I will be forever waiting.." he said and went out of the cafe. I stayed on my position as my girls locked the doors and windows because it's time to close our cafe.
I did my part, which was cleaning up the kitchen and getting the money from the register. After doing it, I told them that I'll wait for them upstairs as they both nodded and busily checked everything before going up.
I walked slowly upstairs, taking every moment as I took a step on each block. My mind was experiencing real chaos; I don't know what is right from wrong, I can't figure the way out.
And the worse thing is, his words kept on repeating on my mind.
I will be forever waiting
Those words that I've longed for how many years, I didn't expectit to happen. I've geard of it only in my dreams and I got so overwhelmed when he have told it. I want to be honest, but my guts keot on telling me not to. I want to tell him 'I love you' but my mind kept on saying I shouldn't.
Jungkook, if I will forgive you, can we be together again? Is it possible for us to get back from the start? Can I be your Ms. Right? Will we live happily ever after? Will we have the same 'Happy Endings' just like in fairytales?
I am already inside my room, checking my little Jungha if he's okay.
"Omma, what's going on?" Jungha reached his hand and waved in front of me. It seemed like I was staring in only one direction because of over thinking about his father.
"Hmm? Ah, nothing. I'm sorry, honey~" I said and combed his hair with my fingers.
"Omma, can I ask you something?" he said and went closer to me.
"What is it?" I said as he lied on my lap.
"Are you going to marry uncle Hyungki?" he said with a very disappointing tone.
Jungha.. Is there something that you don't want mommy to do?
"Why did you ask? Is there something bothering you about it?"
He suddenly sat up, "It's not that I don't want him to be my father, but I dreamt of appa last night. He was crying, but when he saw me, he pretended to smile. He whispered to my ear, Take care of your mom, and in my dream, I finally saw his face. It was the hyung I'm telling you. Now that I realized, I don't call him hyung anymore, instead, I call him appa."
I suddenly felt very emotional, is this a sign that I need to forgive Jungkook already?
"It's getting late, you need to sleep now. Haven't you told me you're the smallest kod in class? Sleep early so that you'll grow up fast," I changed the topic and he barely noticed but he decided to obey me and went for bed.
He lied down as I spread the blanket on him. He was still looking at me with such a worried expression, I kissed him on the forehead, "Don't worry honey, everything is fine. No need to bother things about me and your uncle, okay?"
He nodded and closed his eyes. I watched him sleep, he looked so fragile. He was so delicate that I can't let anyone touch him.
Jungha, I know you want to have Jungkook as your father so bad, but leaving uncle Hyungki after how many years he have gave all his efforts to us, do you think it's fair?
Can you help me decide who to choose between the two of them? Can you help me choose the path of having a Happy Ending?
After a while, Jaemin and Ae sook went inside the room and saw me looking at Jungha.
"Aww, such a beautiful scene~" Jaemin whispered and went closer to me. Ae sook then followed.
"Are you okay?" Ae sook said as she wrapped her arms around me.
"What if I answer 'no'? Will I able to smile?" I answered as the two of them held my hand.
"You know that we're always here beside you, ready to listen and comfort you in any way we can do?" Ae sook said as Jaemin wore a smile.
I paused and started crying silently. They hugged me tighter and let me cry first.
"I don't know what to do.. It was so hard to choose," I said as the two of them wiped off the tears.
"Jungha told me he dreamt of Jungkook last night, and it was like a sign that I should choose him. But dumping Hyungki, is makes me feel very guilty since he helped me for a million times," I said as the two of them think of a solution.
"Why don't you try letting go one of them?" Jaemin answered.
"Sometimes, you need to give up on someone in be able to live happily. But if you gave up on that person, be sure that the two of you won't get hurt and regret in in the future," Ae sook explained.
Give up on someone without getting hurt? How am I going to do that?
If I will give up on Hyungki, both of us will get hurt, but in the end, the two of us will still be good friends.
But if I give up on Jungkook..
I got interrupted by the sudden rainfall. It was raining hard, and a loud thunder was heard. Aigoo, I almost died, I thought I'm going to have a heart attack.
"Aah!!" Jaemin screamed as Ae sook quickly covered her mouth.
"Damn it, Jaemin!! You're 22 years old but you're still afraid of thunder? Shame on you," Ae sook teased as Jaemin hit her arm.
I laughed, "Gaah, I guess the weather heard my story, it made him so dramatic," I joked as the two of them smiled.
"You look prettier when smiling," Jaemin said as Ae sook nodded.
"Shh, let's stay quiet, we might woke Jungha" I said as we stayed on the living area; outside our room.
As soon as we went out of the room, we positioned ourselves in the most comfortable way in each sofa.
"I'm going to change the topic for a while," I said as they stretched their bodies reluctantly.
"Go ahead, Haneul~" Jaemin yawned.
"Haven't you asked yourself, even once, if there's a possibility where you will see Namjoon and Seokjin now that Jungkook's back?" I suddenly asked out of the box as the two of them coughed.
"Ahem," Ae sook said as she avoided my looks.
"Uh, about that.. Yes, I have some thoughts about it and Ae sook and I had a short talk," Jaemin answered.
"We're both scared," Ae sook replied that made me confused.
"Scared?" I asked as the two of them breathe heavily.
"You know, we're like Jungkook on your situation. We're the one who left them clueless," Ae sook said as Jaemin nodded.
"W-wait, I thought you told them we're going on a trip by that time?" I asked.
"Well, no. We broke up with them." Jaemin said.
I felt bad about it. They sacrificed their lovelife just to live with me ㅠㅠ Gaah, girls.. Why?
"Maybe because we've realized that a friend in trouble needs us more than our boyfriends. Woops, friendship goals!" Ae sook answered cheerfully as we group hugged.
But, I feel very guilty.
I know that behind those smiles, there's still a part where they wanted to frown. There's a little part inside where they were hurt because of me. And I'm such a fool to not notice it.
Sigh. I'm horrible.
It rained harder; raindrops were easily heard. We had a hard time talking to each other because of too much noise caused by it. So, we decided to take a bath and sleep already. Besides, it's already 10 in the evening and we still need to wake up early for tomorrow.
The three of us went inside the room and Jaemin was the first one to use the bathroom. Ae sook lied down on her bed and schemed her phone. I went towards Jungha and fixed his blanket.
The room was absolutely quiet, only the raindrops running down from the rooftop was heard. So, I decided to visit mom's room.
I knocked but no one answered, I bet she's already sleeping. But still, I entered the room quietly. I saw her sitting on her bed, "Omma," I called out.
"Oh, Haneul. Why aren't you still sleeping?" she asked with a very caring tone.
Aigoo, I should be the one asking her that.
"I will sleep later, just waiting the girls to finish taking a bath." I answered and went towards her.
It was obvious that there was a space between us; a space where I have no courage to ask her advices on what should I do about Jungkook. I was scared and embarrassed to open up that topic. My pride would always conquer me, and in the end, I feel bad about it.
She smiled, "Will you still be stone-hearted towards Jungkook?"
I was surprised. I was just thinking of asking her about it.
"Hmm?" I raised a brow and gulped.
"Dear, it's obvious that after how many years of being left, he's still the one that kept on knocking your heart," she added.
"Omma.." I said as my eyes looked only at her. She was right. I never had the guts to get angry towards him when he left me. Maybe I was just pushed out when he came back, because I just knew what exactly happened after seven years of being clueless. Maybe I was angry not to him, but all the years I was fooled?
But if that's the case, why am I having a hard time on forgiving him?
"I think I better go downstairs," I pretended to be jolly as if I don't really care about the topoc we were talking about.
She smiled and lied down, "Go ahead, I think I also need to rest. Good night sweetie~" she gave me a kiss on the cheeks and went to sleep.
I went outside her room and started walking downstairs. Every step I make, loud thunders was heard as if it was made because of my feet. I shrieked and carefully went towards the counter.
The cafe was a bit dark; you can actually see the figure of the stuffs inside the area but you're kind of getting a hard time recognizing which is which. So, I started to flap my hands (which made me look stupid, dont try to imagine) on every thing I went on. Until I heard someone sneezing from outside.
I took a look on the entrance door that became moist because of the uneven temperature from the outside and inside of cafe. I wiped a portion of the steam and saw a guy, standing back. He looked like he was trapped because of the sudden rainfall so I quickly unlocked the door and let him in.
"Excuse me? You can go inside if you want, you might catch a cold." I said with a smile and was ready to welcome him in our small cafe.
"It's okay, you'll regret if you let me in," he said as I got confused. "Go inside Haneul, I'm okay." in surprise, I just realized that it was Jungkook.
I froze. How can he be so thoughtful to me despite of how much I push him away? Why does he keep on convincing me to choose him instead of Hyungki?
I made a decision. And I'm going to be honest, I think I made it right.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the entrance. I let him in and quickly removed his coat. His eyes kept on blinking as if he can't imagine I will be doing these after telling him to stay awat from me forever. He was so excited, he felt like he has convinced me, which was actually true.
"Take a seat for a while, I'll get a towel before I let you go upstairs, so that you can dry yourself first. It was pretty much colder there," I said as he bowed a little.
"Thank you." he said and smiled.
I went upstairs and quickly ran towards our room. I saw the girls chatting but I interrupted them because I was so excited to tell them I let Jungkook in. I looked like a fangirl spazzing over my idol, it was so embarrassing.
"He's downstairs, I need a towel!!!" I said as the two of them went confused.
"Huh? What the actual fuck are you talking about?" Ae sook said as Jaemin laughed horribly.
"Yeah, what's the matter, Haneul?" Jaemin asked.
"I let Jungkook in!! I'm so proud of myself," I said as I jumped higher.
"W-wait.. What?! Why did-- what the fuck??" Ae sook said, still confused on what's happening.
"Wait, I thought you don't want to see him for.e.ver?" Jaemin asked, emphasizing each syllable of the word forever.
I shook my head, "Isn't it obvious that I am fucking taking it back? Now give me the fucking towel!" I said as the two of them screamed loudly.
"Oh fuck yeah!!!" they jumped and went towards the cabinet and handed me the towel.
"Oh my god, I think the Haneul from high school is back, she's getting the feels because of Jungkook again," Jaemin said as Ae sook kicked the pillows out from her bed because her hormones were raging about what I did.
"I'm getting so excited--" they continued chatting but it turned into mumbles since I closed the door and was about to go downstairs.
But I stopped for a while and breathe heavily, I brushed my hair out of my face and checked myself if I look fine. Oh my god.. Why am I suddenly doing this?
"Here," I said and tried to hold back my smile. I shouldn't look happy after letting him in, I still need to control myself so that he won't feel I'm going that easy on him.
[okay, I want you to play Converse High on your playlist right now!!]
He was smiling as soon as I let him enter the cafe. He looked like a puppy that was noticed by his owner after a long day of being scolded. I don't know why but I suddenly want to tell him what I felt seven years back. In a way that i won't let him feel guilty. I want to thank him but my pride still knocks me out. So, I stayed silent and shut my mouth.
"Hey, why did you suddenly change your mind on not wanting to see me? You even told me I should stay away from you, forever" he chuckled as I hit him.
Even though I know it was a joke, I can't lie that I haven't felt nervous. My heart was pounding as if it want to get out from my body. I was sweating so much I prayed for him to not notice it. Okay, Lee Haneul. You. Calm. Fucking. Down.
"Stop joking. You know I did that because I'm pretty much concerned about the people in this village. And the fact that I haven't noticed it was you from the first place," I reasoned out.
He gave a doubting look, "Tss, fine. I'll agree because I'm in your territory. But that doesn't mean I will stop myself from thinking of the real reason behind it."
"But that's the real reason!!" I said and hit him again on the head.
"I can't disagree since I know you'll keep on hitting me," he giggled as I rolled away my eyes. I turned back and that was the only time where I can smile without him seeing it.
As soon as he dried his hair, I told him to follow me upstairs so that I can tell him where he can sleep. But then he asked me to cook for him because he was straving as hell, I laughed. He looked so open to me even though we all know I became kinda rude towards him.
We went straight the kitchen and I decided to make him soybean paste stew; which we usually call deonjjangjiggae. I looked for the ingredients, which he volunteered to help and went to get the utensils. I never expected to make these kind of stuffs with him before, but it looked like we've been married for seven years. Why am I feeling very light about it?
"I'll cut it for you," he said, keeping an eye on the spring onions.
I handed him the knife as we swtiched positions, he was doing well. (and he looked so hot when he folded his sleeves up,) I'm so done, I look obvious. I should stay as what I used to, you can do it Haneul. I was observing him and it surprised me a lot because it looks like I wasn't a distraction to him. Back then, he used to get annoyed because I would always ruin his schedule in terms of him doing his homeworks and projects. Whenever I pass by the hallway, he would always stop the thing he was doing and gets pissed off after. Aigoo, I wish I knew you more if you haven't left me for the past years.
"Aww!!" he quickly put down the knife and sip the blood coming out from his finger. He accidentally cut his self, so lame.
"Let me see," I said as I pulled his hand and wash it with a warm water, "I told you, you should be more careful," I whispered as I caught him smiling at me.
"Muo? (What?)" I asked as he smiled wider, "Nothing. I'm just happy to see your motherly side,"
My blood rushed up to my cheeks and it made my whole face look so red, I'm having a hard time to breathe. I know if other girls heard this, they might feel offended but I'm seriously getting too much feels on what he said. Please help me not to faint.
"You shut up," I said, trying to act cool. He quickly covered his mouth with his other hand as I looked for a band aid to put on his finger.
"Please, be more careful. You might die because of too much clumsiness," I said as he sighed.
"It's okay. You're worth dying for,"
*the parenthesis expresses what haneul feels*
((OKAY DAMN JUNGKOOK HAVENT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP??))
"Do you want to stay here for the rest of the night?" I asked with such a bitch face.
"Well, I want to stay here for the rest of my life," he answered.
((FUCK MY LIFE))
I hit him one more time and shouted, "You shut up!!"
He laughed, "Okay, okay.."
A moment of silence between the two of us and only the sound of the drops of water from the sink was heard.
Then I heard him whisper, "Thank you,"
I asked him what was he thanking of and he just shrugged, letting me figure out the answer. Is it because I let him stay here for a night, or is it because he knew already that I'm forgiving him? Whatever it is, I should be the one thanking you.
Thank you for still being there whether I hate you or still loves you. I wish after this night, everything's still going to be fine. I wish that after what happened today, everything that will happen tomorrow will still be wonderful . I wish after forgiving you, I would be able to stick the lost pieces of me back without hurting someone. I wish after choosing you, the one that I left will accept it whole-heartedly and everyone will be happy. I wish I can now call myself your, Ms. Right.
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Hi readers!
Okay, I know most of you were waiting for this part and I've been praying for the past days that you will love this chapter. WAAAAAAHHH~
Anyway, thank you for all your unwavering support!! Been loving all the messages, mentions, and comments through wattpad, twitter, and instagram~ Thank you so so so so much!!
See you next update~
xoxo,
Starish10