Minji's POV
"I see you finished the song." I muttered into my phone as Suga was excitedly talking about how he was quite proud of this song.
It had been a month since I first started helping them write the song and now they were finally finished.
Jungkook and I were distant as ever while Yeri was now always hanging out with her new group of friends or Jungkook.
School days were long and painful. We recently changed seats which excited me as I thought I would be able to sit next to Jungkook so we could at least bond again or catch up on each other's lives.
But of course life was always cruel to me.
Yeri and Jungkook were sitting directly in front of me, meaning I had to watch them flirting all day long.
"Yah Bae Minji are you listening to me?" Suga asked, his voice sounding quite irritable and had the slight tone of sass hinted in it.
"Ah yes." I lied.
"Then what was I saying then?" I sighed, giving up. I could tell he was probably smirking triumphantly, "wipe that smirk off your face oppa. I'm sorry, could you repeat that again?" I asked, wiping off my eyeliner on my face.
Suga chuckled, "it's funny how you can usually tell my facial expressions when you can't even see me physically right now." I laughed a little and pulled on my comfy winter sleeping robe. " Well I was saying that I made an extra CD of the song for you; Manager hyung said he would drop it off at you house tomorrow before we send off to PD-nim." Suga continued.
I smiled, "Oh so I'm the first listener ever?" Suga laughed as I heard the sound of laughter in the room, "Is all the boys there?"
He hummed as a response, "you know since we're having a comeback you won't be talking to Jungkook as much anymore right?"
The smile on my lips disappeared and I pursued my lips, "we don't talk much as we are right now."
Suga went quiet and there was absolute silence between us.
Not knowing what to do I also stayed silent. "Ah that's right, did you call me on a private number the day I came over to help you and Hoseok?" I asked, changing the subject swiftly.
"No, I called you on my normal phone. My work phone was dead already."
"Then it must've been my aunt, okay bye Oppa. I need to go study." I hung up the phone before he could say anything else.
My house was empty as usual.
After Jungkook slowly stopped visiting me when he became a trainee I became friends with Yeri and she came over. But now they both stopped visitng and this house has never felt as lonesome.
I laid on my bed with my robe still on.
The sound of passing cars and crickets kept my room from being more depressing than it already was. I use to like the way the flashing lights of cars illuminated my room but now it wasn't as exciting.
But then again I was only 6 or 7 years old.
"Jungkook did you ever love me? I would love to know if I still had any chances with you, if I had one chance once would you consider giving me another? Do you even see me as a girl or am I just another friend you've known since you were young?"
I shut my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
___________________________
I sat in my seat and watched in envy as Jungkook and Yeri shared muffled giggles in class.
The two of them sat directly in front of me and not once had any of them even bothered to look my way once. I shuffled quietly in my chair and sighed as the two were enjoying each other's company.
My seat mate, another rookie idol who had just debuted, Bambam looked at me worriedly. He threw a post-it-note onto my desk and frowned. The note read 'are you okay Minji?'
Without another thought I stood up abruptly to save me from anymore heart break.
The class stared at me weirdly, even Jungkook and Yeri had finally turned around. Mr Kim raised his eyebrow, "is there something wrong Ms Bae? "
I opened my mouth to talk but nothing except a few stutters came out.
"I-I, " I looked at Jungkook who now had a frown plastered on his face. My shoulders dropped and I just ran outside if the class.
"Ms Bae wait-" the teacher called out, but I ignored him and slammed the door shut.
Without knowing what to do anymore, I walked in the garden; kicking every rock in my way to vent out my anger.
After talking about my feelings with Suga some more I thought I wouldn't be as jealous as I usually was but it didn't change a thing.
I was still crazy jealous.
The thought of being in the same room as those two as they flirted in front of face made be feel both sick and betrayed.
How was she not feeling guilty when she knew about my feelings?
Sighing, I sat down and leaned in the tree where I had planned in confessing to Jungkook. The moment was perfect yet some how I still failed to even inform him of my feelings for him.
The petals fell from the tree, landing delicately on my head.
"There petals falling on our heads that day too weren't there Jungkook? Our foreheads were connecting and I was so close to giving you my first kiss." I muttered softly.
Each petal reminded me of that day.
I thought long and hard.
What would of have happened Yeri never interrupted me that day?
Would I be happily dating Jungkook? Would I be the one next to him giggling at dumb jokes together? Would I ever feel this jealous about Yeri and Jungkook?
"I'm over thinking about this," I muttered as I loosened my tie and closed my eyes to fall into sleep.
___________________________
They shook me lightly, running their fingers though my hair. Their quite hums was a sweet melody to my ears.
"Minji wake up..." I winced as cupped my face and squeezed weakly my cheeks before giving out a small gentle chuckle.
I opened one eye before opening the other. I squinted trying to adjust to the sunlight.
Finally after a while I could clearly see the figure in front of me smiling warmly at me. I stood up abruptly, hitting my head on one of the branches.
He laughed and rubbed my head, soothing the pain a little before kissing the part I hit.
I wiped my mouth and blushed as I noticed some drool around my mouth. "Jungkook what are you doing here?" I asked as I touched the place he kissed earlier. "I was worried after you ran out, I tried going after you but Mr Kim got angry and forced me to sit back down. He even threatened to call Jimin hyung to come." He said as he shivered at the memory.
I laughed heartedly.
He tried going after me.
Jungkook looked into my eyes, smiling. "I forgot about this but won't we standing here a year ago?"
Blushing, I nodded. "What did you want to tell me." I shot my head up and my facial expressions mellowed as I remembered all the good memories we had together. But my face tensed up as I remembered all the painful and lonesome memories.
"If," I started as he moved his hand away from my face, "Yeri confessed would you accept her and fully block me out of your life?" I continued.
"I've never blocked you out of my life -" I covered his mouth with my hands before he could finish his sentence. "Don't lie, you know you've been pushing me out of your life."
His eyes mellowed down into sadness. I moved my hand away from his mouth, the warmth of his skin tingling on my fingers was now replaced with the familiar coldness I've been feeling for the last year.
"I'm sorry." He muttered as he gave a small pitiful smile that was definitely a smile I've seen from all sorts of people after my parents passed away when I was younger. "I know I should have been there for you but Yeri just makes me forget everything around me, it's a feeling I can't understand. You've had these feelings before right?"
Of course you made me feel that way.
As I sighed, I knew I needed to ask him the question which answer's was pretty obvious. But I needed to know anyway.
"Jungkook, is there something going on between you and Yeri?" I asked as I stared into his eyes.
I was scared of his answer but I needed to know; I need to move on.
His cheeks flushed and he averted his eyes away from mine.
"I kissed her."
___________________________
I thought nothing could make me feel worse after hearing Jungkook kissed Yeri.
It's really over this time. I never had a chance, this was always destined to be a unrequited love no matter what happens.
The tears in my eyes were trickling down my face again.
Nothing could be done.
While looking on my desk I noticed the CD on my table with the words 'I NEED U' written on top of i.
That's right Suga made me an extra copy for their new song.
I popped the song into my CD player and laid on my side on my bed. Closing my eyes as the tears continued falling down my face.
Fall Fall Fall, scattering apart
Fall Fall Fall, falling
"Jungkook-ah you made so many promises with me."
Because of you, I'm becoming ruined
I wanna stop, I don't want you anymore
I can't do it, this sucks
Please don't give me any excuses
"Why do you keep making me believe there is something between us."
You can't do this to me
All of the things you said are like a mask
It hides the truth and rips me apart
It pierces me, I'm going crazy, I hate this
Take it all away, I hate you
"I want to stop loving you so much."
You can't do this to me
All of the things you said are like a mask
It hides the truth and rips me apart
It pierces me, I'm going crazy, I hate this
Take it all away, I hate you
"But if I go away, I'm afraid I would lose you. What do I do? Should I hold onto you?"
But you're my everything You're my
Everything You're my
Everything You're my
Please go away huh
"I don't want to admit but I have no choice but to admit, but you're like a tangled line, you make me dizzy"
I'm sorry I hate u
I love you I hate u
Forgive me
"Why do you keep leaving me? You come to me like you have me, you wrap around me, then you disappear like a dream. With no time to touch, I'm captivated by you"
I need you girl
Why am I in love alone, why am I hurting alone
I need you girl
Why do I keep needing you when I know I'll get hurt?
"I'm afraid that I'm being ruined by you, though you'll shake me up and turn around"
I need you girl, you're beautiful
I need you girl, you're so cold
I need you girl I need you girl
I need you girl I need you girl
As I sat up I stared at the two pictures on my desk.
One was of Jungkook and me while the other was of Yeri and me.
I picked up the picture of Jungkook and me. The picture held dear memories of me and Jungkook, usually when I held the picture it gave me hope.
But this time it was different.
I could only think darkly of everything.
"I will never leave you."
Lies.
I ripped the photo on my desk of him and me, smiling happily at that carnival that I begged him to go with me.
As I sobbed loudly into my pillow and buried my face in the scent of sadness, the music in the background continued playing as the music began to slow down and die down.
He loves her not me.
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Author's Note
I'm really not happy with this chapter :(
UNEDITED