Chapter Twenty-Two:
Crowds, Crowns, and Coming Home
Leaving the next day was like saying goodbye to a piece of me. I begged Pud to come with me; to come and work in the kitchens in the palace so I’d always have him near, but he refused. “I’m needed here," he said. “I want to give to other’s what you gave me, Rory. I want to help make other street children feel like someone loves them, and that they’ll always have a place to go. I’ve lived through that, and I can help.” I smiled while my heart broke with his words.
I hugged him. “You’re the best brother anyone could have, Pud.” Tears welled in my eyes. “If this is goodbye for us, if Phillip’s fairy is a failure too, I hope you know I’ve always loved you.” He hugged me tearfully back, and he seemed so small again. I knew that despite his maturity Pud was still young and leaving him terrified me. As we left he waved until he was just a tiny speck in the distance and the tears had dried from my eyes.
Once again I found myself sharing a saddle with Phillip. This time, however, it was awkward. We both held ourselves stiffly, trying our best not to touch. We didn’t know what to say to one another, what would be safe. Phillip’s men filled the silence instead. Going home meant a reprieve for them. They were going to see their families, while I was filled with fear.
I ran away from home. I didn’t know what my welcome would be like. Did they know I was coming? I found myself too shy to ask Phillip. I hid my anxiousness, burying it deep within me along with a list of all the things I couldn’t say to him, things he wouldn’t be able to understand.
The awkwardness began to turn into tension the closer we got to the palace. Even Ryler seemed to fall into a melancholy state. His frown lines got deeper and deeper with each passing day. I wondered about it until one night I overheard him and Phillip speaking. “I could leave now and continue the search without you, Phillip. I know you have to take care of Rory, so I understand."
“No, Ryler. I’m keeping my promise to you. I’ll help you find Jo once we’ve gotten Rory’s curse lifted. She still has to learn what it will take for her to be a Queen. We won’t be able to marry for awhile.”
“Phillip, what about….”
“I’ll take care of that. When everyone hears she’s alive they’ll forget everything else. They’ll finally understand what I’ve been doing these past three years. They’ll have no choice but to say I was right all along.”
I heard Ryler grunt. “You say that, but how will she handle this? It’s not fair to just expect her to accept all of this. Marriage is a heavy thing with most women…”
I backed away, my mind reeling. Marriage: Phillip was already talking about marriage? Ryler was right. I could barely take care of myself, let alone Phillip, and being Queen? I couldn’t do it. All those people staring at me all the time, all the courtiers who would whisper about me in the corridors, I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t know how I felt about Phillip, more and more it seemed like I’d been in love with an idea of him, an idea that had been replaced by someone else.
The next morning things were worse between us. Knowing Phillip wanted to get married weighed heavily on me. I couldn’t be the woman he wanted, the woman he needed to sit by his side and call him dear. Not only did the silence between us grow, but even Ryler became quieter. I must have missed the worst part of their argument because Ryler seemed to be in a foul mood, and Phillip’s wasn’t much better.
I felt for Ryler. I didn’t want him to feel like he was stuck with me just because I was a princess. I didn’t want him to hate me because I was the reason he couldn’t go searching for Jo. When Phillip wasn’t paying attention I would knee the horse into a swifter speed. I hoped that the sooner we got to the palace, the sooner Ryler could go back to his mission.
The days passed slowly, but the nights were worse. I began to have nightmares. Most of them revolved around my fears of my upcoming reunion with my family, but there were other, darker ones that had no reason being there. A few nights I had dreams involving spinning wheels, their sweet, luring song weaving into my thoughts and pulling me towards wakefulness. It was these dreams that terrified me the most. I would wake and know that smugglers must have passed near our camp, their carts laden with contraband headed for Elmeira.
I said nothing to Phillip, nothing of the fears rattling my core. I knew that if I did he would say we must spend every night in an inn, a thing that would slow our progress drastically. The dreams became more constant as we neared the border, the sweet songs getting louder and stronger the closer we got to the palace.
I never saw the smugglers. By morning they were always gone. I began tying my leg to one of the horses or to a tree, in case my curse overpowered me in my sleep. I was careful to do it when everyone was asleep but sometimes it was impossible to wake before them and untie it.
Ryler caught me one morning. His solemn eyes met mine. I gulped. “Please don’t tell Phillip," I pleaded, not knowing if I could trust him with my secret. He nodded and went to attend his horse, ignoring me while I released myself from my bonds. Ryler didn’t ask me what it meant, the rope. He kept my secret and sometimes when I slept later than everyone else I would find myself already untied.
The secret became a bond between Ryler and I, a thing I could cling to as we traveled. A thing I now clutch to me as we look at the palace shining in the distance; my palace: the place where my family awaits. Our month long journey is over and it’s time to face my fate. My birthday is only two weeks away. I can feel time slipping, almost as if it’s a piece of fine silk, sliding through my fingers so fast I can’t catch the end before it topples to the ground.
My heart is beating so hard in my chest it hurts. My palms are sticky with sweat and it’s difficult to breathe. I don’t know if I should be panicked or relieved. I don’t know if I should be pressing my knees into the horse’s side to get to the palace faster or if I should be hopping down and running away again. My fear must be obvious because for the first time in days Phillip’s arms squeeze around me. My jaw is chattering and I find myself feeling cold all over. Phillip’s warmth feels good on my skin.
“Don’t worry, Rory. I’m right here. We’ll face this together, and it will work.” Although he’s speaking to me I can’t help but feel like the last sentence is more for him than me. For the first time I see a reflection of the doubt I hold inside myself within Phillip. Does he secretly fear this fairy's power won’t be enough? For some reason this thought soothes me. I don’t feel as horrid for dreading putting my confidence in another fairy. I feel a piece of the boundary that’s settled between Phillip and I shift. I lean against him, accepting his embrace. I don’t feel so alone.
Phillip sends one of the men ahead of us. He takes off at a gallop so my family will know I’m coming, I’m coming home. My body begins to shake with nerves. I fiddle with the edge of my shirt, staring down at my pale hands. Phillip holds the reins in one hand. With the other he takes mine. To my surprise it’s almost as cold as mine, and it’s clammy. “I’m scared, Phillip," I whisper, my voice rising no higher than a breath.
“Me too,” he whispers back. “Let’s pretend it’s a game, like we used to.”
I laugh, but there is no joy in it. “A game? How can we turn this into a game?”
“Let’s see,” he pauses for a moment, “we could see how many things are different from the last time you were here.” The thought makes me queasy.
“I don’t think I could handle that, Phillip. It already feels so strange.” I can feel him shrug.
“Alright…we could…” He trails off as he tries to think of something new. By now we’ve reached the first scattering of houses surrounding the palace: the beginnings of my home. Despite my denial to Phillip’s suggestion my eyes automatically begin counting the ways things have changed. The houses along the edges of the city have been repainted and the street seems to have been recently cleaned. They are building a mill by a stream a little ways off. Life has gone on without me. Life will continue to go on while I’m…No. I can’t think like that.
I force away the thought and make my mind go blank. I ignore everything around me, or at least I try. People along the streets have stopped what they’re doing. They stare up at us on our horses. Children race behind our party, pointing. “Phillip,” I see one woman watching me as if she’s seen a ghost, “what are they staring at?”
“Them? At you, they all thought you were dead.”
“What? I thought my parents were keeping my curse a secret?” I asked.
“After you left they made it public to the people of the city. They were outraged when they heard Rosamund was to going be the next Queen. Your parents had to tell them the reason they defied tradition and picked the second sister. It’s become a legend around here. You’re famous to them.” My eyes went wide with surprise.
“What will happen now, if my curse is lifted? What will happen to Rosa?” Phillip stiffens a little and his arms loosen from around my middle.
“She’ll have to step down as the next heir. When people hear your curse has been broken they’ll demand for you to be returned to your rightful place. They’ll want you to be Queen.” His words make butterflies fly through my belly. Would I want that? Would I want to be Queen? It’s a thought I’ve toyed with ever since overhearing Phillip and Ryler’s conversation, but until now it hasn’t felt quite this close. It was something to think about, not something to live with and face. I shiver a little and Phillip’s arms pull me closer in the saddle. “Wave to them, they’re your people.” He reaches up his own arm and waves. A few of the women staring at us begin to smile and a few cheer. More people gather and pour from shops and houses to see what the commotion is about.
By the time we make it to the heart of the city there is a large crowd following in our wake. I feel like my heart is going to explode with fear. I didn’t expect my return to be such a fanfare. I imagined myself disguised in my peasant clothes. “How do they know it’s me?” I whisper so quietly I don’t think Phillip hears.
He tugs on my loose braid. “Your hair, your face, it's all part of the story now, Rory. It’s all part of the enchantment to them.” I blink at the massive crowds and lift one tentative hand. The cheering gets louder. I immediately blush, but don’t lower it. I have never seen so many happy people. I smile despite myself, and I feel the iron hand of fear unclench a little from around my heart. We round a corner, and the shouting of the masses fades into the distance because we’re here: at the palace.
I can see its towers gleaming just above the wall surrounding it. Windows stare down at me. My family could be watching from those windows. My hand begins to shake so I lower it into my lap and Phillip, too, stops waving. We are sober when we reach the grand gate, the one my family waits behind. Phillip salutes to a guard on the wall. The man returns the gesture and shouts to someone below. Slowly, the doors swing open.
Gardens sprawl before us. The trees lining the carriage path are just beginning to blush with color. Flowers have begun to lift their heavy heads toward the sun. Soon these gardens will be in full bloom, winter will have passed completely, and with it, another segment of my life. The path turns slowly and the main steps come into view. A crowd of people have gathered there and amid them, standing in clothing of great, royal splendor, is my family.
“Rory,” Winston’s cry fills the courtyard. It’s the only sound the crowd makes as we approach. He runs towards me and I notice his lanky arms are now more proportionate to his body. He’s grown. He’s a full man now, but it doesn’t stop him from flying across the courtyard and stealing me from my saddle. He swings me around in a circle, saying my name over and over in a chant of happiness. He sets me lightly on the ground only to grab me back up in a bone crunching embrace. “I’ve missed you.” He murmurs into my hair.
I clutch him and my body relaxes. All the nerves that have been standing on end loosen. “Winston,” my voice comes out in a cracked whisper. He releases me and strokes away a lock of hair that’s managed to free itself from my braid.
“Welcome home.” His voice is so tender I want to hug him again, but refrain. Ryler and Phillip have dismounted and Phillip steps behind me. His hand presses into the small of my back, directing me away from Winston and forward, towards the stairs.
My parents stand stiff and formal at the top of the great steps leading to the main entrance of the palace. When my toes are an inch away Phillip removes his hand and steps back. I stand awkwardly for a moment. The stares of the crowd are almost tangible. They weigh me down and I can’t seem to make myself look up to meet them.
Finally my father frees himself from the statues of my family and descends to my level. He holds his hand before him as if he expects me to kiss it, or shake it. At the last second he switches it’s positioning, deciding to embrace me. The hug is awkward and emotionless. It has nothing of the friendliness from Winston’s hug. His arms are stiff and my body rejects the warmth from his, making me feel numb inside.
My mother comes down and follows his example, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing. “Welcome home, Princess Aurora,” she exclaims loudly enough for the entire court to hear. Her words seem forced to me and I wonder what she really wishes to say. She releases me but keeps her hands on my arms as she looks me up and down.
Her scrutiny makes me feel dirty again, as if I’ve just stepped from my cell. When her eyes fall upon my hair and the soft curls she’s always loved, they soften. Her hair gleams in the sunlight, almost a reflection of the light itself. We stare at each other for a moment, as if trying to silently transverse all the time between us.
My father is the one who breaks the silence. “Rosamund, Henry, William, Claudette, come greet your sister.” I don’t miss that he calls them informally, further emphasizing the gap between us. I look beyond my parents to my siblings. Rosamund descends first, as is her right as the named heir. Henry and William flank her with Claudette following demurely behind. The sight of them makes me want to cry.
In my head I quickly calculate their ages. Claudette is almost eleven now, Henry and William are both fourteen, and Rosamund is fifteen. There are so many things I’ve missed, and they are all evident as my siblings walk towards me. They’ve all grown, so much so that they are almost unrecognizable.
Claudette’s hair has lost the fairness of youth. It’s now a mousy brown that curls loosely around her shoulders. Henry and William are both tall and thin. They remain identical and I find that I’ve lost my ability to separate and identify them. Their faces are solemn, something I don’t remember ever happening in my childhood. All have changed, but it is Rosamund who surprises me the most.
She hasn’t grown very much in my absence—the twins tower over her—but her presence draws the eye. She commands those around her just in the way she holds herself. She is the real princess here. She is poised and the smile on her face is breathtaking. Her hair is coiled upon her head in an elaborate up-do, one I would never have been able to sit still for. She seems to float down to me and her tiny, delicate arms twine around me. The embrace lacks warmth, just as my parents’ had, but with Rosa, it feels as if it’s planned. She remains on the step above me, which makes her an inch taller than me.
“Aurora,” she says as she dips in a slight curtsy, “Welcome home.” Up close her smile is more obviously forced.
“Rosamund,” I drop into my own curtsy, which is made awkward by the fact that I’m not wearing a grand dress like she is, “it’s been too long.”
Her eyes gleam sharply with an emotion that passes too quickly for me to recognize. “It has, hasn’t it?” Her eyes gravitate towards my hair. “You’re looking well. I heard you were in prison?” Her eyes dart quickly to Phillip and back to me. “I’m happy to hear that’s changed.”
I nod, keeping my eyes neutral. I’m not sure what game Rosa is playing, but I’m sure I’m lacking pieces. “Yes, Phillip has been very kind.” Her eyes narrow at my lack of formality with his name.
“Rosa, don’t keep Aurora all for yourself. Your siblings would like a turn.” Our mother steps closer to us, and her hand gently caresses Rosa’s arm. She turns to Claudette, “Wouldn’t you like to greet your sister?” Claudette peeks shyly at me, but does as my mother wants and steps down to face me.
“Princess Aurora,” she curtsies as well, her skirts billowing around her. When she rises her gaze drifts to Rosa, as if asking permission. Rosa looks away, her nose going into the air. Claudette seems uncertain for a moment but she finally manages to throw her arms around me in a quick hug that satisfies our mother.
“William, Henry, hug your sister.” My mother’s voice is more than a little commanding. Claudette steps back, allowing them space. They step forward and look at me; neither lift their arms to embrace me.
“Hello,” says one.
“Aurora,” the other finishes.
“Hello Henry, William.” I bow to each of them in turn and hope I’ve guessed correctly.
“Rory,” the one I’ve named as Henry exclaims, “you do remember!” He hugs me tightly and aside from Winston’s it is the first genuine one I’ve received. The twin I now know to be William follows his example. They squish me between them, pushing the pieces of my breaking heart back together.
“You haven’t grown at all,” William says, stepping back to look at me.
I smile, “Perhaps it seems that way because you’ve grown so much.” They laugh in unison and the tension that’s been building since my arrival diminishes. Phillip steps forward again but he’s careful not to touch me.
“Would any of you mind if we took this reunion inside? There is someone I’m anxious for Rory to meet.”
“Oh, of course, Phillip,” my father says, slapping him on the back, “but I’m afraid this fairy of yours hasn’t arrived yet. He sends word that he’s been detained by business and he’ll be here in a few days, a week tops.” His eyes slide to me and he tries to smile.
I finally realize the look in my father’s eyes is guilt. In all the time before I ran away my father never once invited a fairy into our home. It probably never occurred to him that another fairy might have lifted my curse. This knowledge soothes me as I understand the reason behind his uneasy greeting. He wonders if I despise him. I feel a nudge of my own guilt so I reach out my hand and take his with a smile. “I’m so glad to be home.” I squeeze his fingers as I speak, hoping it’ll banish some of his doubts.
He returns my smile and I can see the bloom of hope lighten his features. Maybe I was wrong, maybe there is still a chance to revive the girl I once was. Maybe she isn’t dead; maybe she’s just been sleeping and only needs to awaken. Maybe I can salvage a piece of the hope I used to cling to. My brothers sling their arms around my shoulders, enforcing my sudden belief. “Come on, Rory, there's so much to see before your fairy gets here,” Henry says. “Let us show you."