Bryan looked at Emileigh. He could see the pain in her eyes. It was the same pain he felt. He didn't know who she was, but he felt like he had already known her before. He couldn't explain it, but the feeling was there. Crazy...but true. The way he looked at him, the way suspicion and fear just overcame her, broke his heart. Emileigh looked like a strong young woman, but there was something behind her pain.She didn't talk very much. Bryan had tried taking up a conversation with her, but all she ever answered was yes or no. When he thought she would elaborate, Emileigh would stop talking and look away from him.
I wonder what it was that hurt her, he thought. He was going to ask but it was better not to. He thought it through and if she hadn't told him or been able to open up herself to him, even with the simple questions, there was no way that she would ever confide in him for the more personal questions. Instead, he sat across from the table eating his fries and looking around, pretending that he wasn't even a bit interested in Emileigh. As far as Bryan could tell, it was as if Emileigh chose not to notice him. But the thing was that he wanted to have a conversation with Emileigh. So he started with a simple question.
"So...um... Emileigh. Uh.how do you spell your name?"
Emileigh looked at him, a little doubtful. But she answered the question. "E-m-i-l-e-i-g-h."
"That's interesting. Most Emily's I know spell it with a y at the end. Pretty unique spelling."
"Yeah. It was either between Emily and Leigha. So my parents decided to combine them."
"Well. I think it's pretty cool. I, personally, will never forget your name. It's special in it's own way."
At his words, Bryan saw Emileigh wince. He didn't know what happened. "I'm sorry, if I said something wrong...I...I didn't mean to."
Emileigh stayed quiet. She was still looking at him but she wasn't saying anything. She thought about it more and then decided that it was better to say something than to let him feel guilty. Guilt, Emileigh thought, something my ex-boyfriend certainly lacked of entirely. "No....don't worry, Bryan. It has nothing to do with you. I'm fine."
At Emileigh's words, Bryan relaxed and he wasn't so tense anymore. "Like I said, I'm sorry for whatever it is I said."
"It's okay, Bryan. Really. Thanks for caring though."
"You say that as if others wouldn't care." he pointed out.
"Well, maybe sometimes it seems like no one cares. Sometimes everything just doesn't seem to make sense, everything else seems to be against you."
"I understand you better than you know. Sometimes I wonder if life was ever supposed to be easy and happy for me. So far it just hasn't been."
Emileigh was taken aback by his words. She looked at Bryan with curiosity written in her features. She waited for him to answer but he didn't say anything else when he spoke next. Instead it involved the food that he was eating.
"Ummmm....do you want fries?" he asked avoiding her gaze. He felt that he had given too much about him too soon. He felt as if he was telling her his whole life. His life wasn't perfect. He had had amazing parents and an amazing sister, but that didn't mean everything else was perfect. At school, he had been bullied. He had always been the shy one, and he was always smaller than all the rest of the guys. Of course all the other guys took that as a weakness and they took advantage of that to bully him. He always expected someone else to help him, to stand up for him. But everyone else looked away, pretending as if nothing was happening. When he went home, he would act as if nothing would happen. He literally had no friends. But it all changed when Landon was born. Bryan now had someone to take care of, to keep safe. And in a few years, he would have a buddy. Something that he never though he could find in anybody else. That was when he began to fight back. Landon needed someone to take care of him in the first few days, or at least that was what Bryan had thought. He was going to fight back, to show the bullies that he wasn't weak. And amazingly, that did the trick. He was six then and it was something that he didn't have to go through, but he had. Then in middle school and all of high school, the bullying came back again. By the time he was in high school, the bullying was to an all new high. This time, he started working out and he became strong. One day when he was walking home from school, one of the bullies followed him and he started to hit him. Bryan instinctively started punching him. At one point, Bryan's fist connected with the bully's jaw and the bully went down. Bryan took this moment as his moment for escape and that is exactly what he did. He ran, not directly to his house, but he ran as fast as he could. He ended up in a park, where he hung out until he was sure that the bully wasn't looking for him. Then he walked home. After that incident, the bullies never touched or made fun of Bryan again.
"Hey...uh...Bryan are you okay?" Emileigh's voice brought him out of his thoughts.
"What?" he asked, unsure of whether he had heard her right.
"Are you okay?"
"Oh. Ummmm, yeah. I was just thinking, remembering some things."
"Well, you were really deep in thought."
"Sorry. I was just remembering some things. It was nothing important."
"Well, I don't think it was nothing important if you were that deep in thought."
"Yeah...we'll. It was just about my life. Nothing else really."
"Oh. I..I'm sorry if---"
"No it's fine. There's no need for you to say sorry. It wasn't your fault. Ummmm...how do you like this place?"
Emileigh looked around. "I really like it," she answered. "It feels very homey, if that's even a word."
Bryan laughed slightly. "I don't know if it's a word but I know what you mean."
Emileigh blushed slightly, hoping that he hadn't seen it. Why am I blushing, Emileigh thought. I just met him. He shouldn't make me blush.
"It's okay. It happens to me a lot. I can never find the right word for things, so I make up whatever sounds right regardless of whether or not it's a real word." Bryan explained, definitely not noticing her blush earlier.
"Yeah. I guess you're right."
"Want some more fries?" he asked, not knowing what else to say.
"Sure." Emileigh answered as she took one of the fries. After this, they both ate silently until it was time for them to leave.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Landon waited until Lauren would say something else, but she stayed quiet. He wanted to see what she looked like. He wanted to see if her hair was curly, wavy, or straight. He wanted to see what color her eyes were, if she had dimples or not, if she was taller or shorter than him. He wanted to see her smile. It didn't matter what he saw, Landon just wanted to see. But no matter how many times he blinked, the outcome was always the same: darkness.
He wasn't very hungry, so he just ordered a milkshake. He was sipping the milkshake as the quietness of the restaurant met them. He knew there was no one there except for his Uncle Bryan and Lauren's aunt Emileigh. There were moments in which he thought that Lauren was gone, but every once in a while, the smell of paint would hit his nose.
Lauren was different, he had decided. Lauren didn't talk much about the time before she and her family had moved to Sacramento. But whenever he asked her, Lauren would change the topic to something else. It made him think about why she decided not to tell him. Maybe, she's just not ready, he thought. I mean, I told her most of my story but if she doesn't want to tell me, it's fine. I'll give her time. I mean, I can't force her to tell me if she doesn't want to.
"So, Lauren," he started, "how are you liking it here so far?"
There was a pause and then he heard her voice. "It's okay, I guess. I haven't really been outside of this neighborhood, so I can't really tell you if I like the rest of the city."
"Oh, I see. Maybe someday I can take you and we can go downtown and all that stuff. I'm sure you'll love downtown and Old Sac. They're pretty amazing. Trust me."
Lauren laughed slightly. "I'd absolutely love that. I think I'm actually excited for that. Do you have an exact date in mind?"
"No, but whenever you think is appropriate is fine with me."
"You're really sweet, you know, Landon. Thanks."
Landon blushed a little, but he said, "Don't say that. I'm just doing what anybody else would be doing."
"Maybe not. I haven't met any nice people. Even in the park, and sometimes the park is full of people."
"Well, some people are just shy at first. They're usually there with their kids and some of those kids are really young, so they get distracted with that."
"You're right, Landon. You think about everything. I don't understand why people are so cruel to you. I'm amazed at how good of a person you are."
"Well, I can't really blame anyone else. I can't be angry all my life. I guess people will want to give me a chance when they themselves are ready to accept me. I can't really force them to do what they don't want to do. It's not right. It's not easy though. Sometimes, I just want to be mean to everybody because in the end, that's what they do to me, but I can't. It's not what my dad taught me. And I want to make him proud." He fell silent then.
Lauren was going to ask about his father then, but then she saw that he had fallen silent and decided it was best not to bring it up. Whatever it was that happened with Landon's dad still hurt him very much. "You really love him don't you?"
Landon looked up and looked into her eyes. "Of course I love him. He was and still is my hero."
Lauren thought about his words and realized that there was much love on Landon's part for his father. She understood him more than anything. Kyle was everything for Lauren. It was Kyle who had taught her how to ride a bike, how to roller skate and now to ice skate. He had taught Lauren so much and it was the reason that she saw him as her hero. She understood it and that made her feel closer to Landon than she had ever felt to anybody.
Landon noted the silence and he spoke up, "How has everything been going? Working on any new paintings?"
Lauren smiled at the fact that he thought about her painting. "No, nothing new but it will come eventually."
"You know, everybody loved your painting for me."
"Oh. Did they?" Lauren blushed a little bit.
"Yes. Said that you got my eyes just right."
"Well, I'm glad that they liked it and that hopefully you liked it as well."
"I would have loved to give you some feedback on the painting, but I...I'm not exactly the type that can give much feedback on anything." Landon looked down, feeling a bit of pain.
Landon's hand rested on top of the table, near the smoothie he was drinking. Lauren instinctively reached for it, surprising herself. Landon looked up. Although Lauren knew that Landon couldn't see her, she blushed anyway. "I wasn't looking for any feedback. I knew you were going to love it anyway, because it was a gift, a genuine gift . You didn't ask for it and I gave it to you anyway. I know that you can't see it but at least you have the knowledge that it's there, and that you have a friend in me."
Landon smiled, knowing in his heart that he could trust the girl that was in front of him, the girl who showed him that there were still good people, that there was still hope. He knew he could trust the girl who he had met to know more about. He wanted to know more about her and what her life had been like.
Lauren saw Landon's smile and smiled back. At this point, she felt like she could trust the young man that was sitting across from her. She felt that she could trust the young man who had suffered through so much pain and isolation and disappointment. She knew in her heart that he would always be there for her.