Now what was he talking about? What way?
The next message beeped and was something unexpected. Atleast, at the moment.
12:31:22 am:
Theodore Bentley: Would you marry me ?
12:31:53 am:
Theodore Bentley: If things were like something not in our favour, would you run away?
12:31:24 am:
©Alice©: Run away where?
I literally wasn't able to understand what was he talking and where was he going?
12:32:25 am:
Theodore Bentley: Away from your family?
12:32:31 am:
Theodore Bentley: Home? Leaving everything behind? Into a complete new life?
12:31:53 am:
©Alice©: There will be no need of it.
12:32:48 am:
Theodore Bentley: How can you say that?
12:32:13 am:
©Alice©: Cause, I know.
12:32:25 am:
©Alice©: I have seen things. And I have nothing left to leave behind. Everything is already gone.
12:33:41 am:
Theodore Bentley: Cause, you know, great!
12:33:41 am:
Theodore Bentley: Seen things.
12:33:41 am:
Theodore Bentley: What have you seen?
12:33:12 am:
©Alice©: When my parents were around, I did see things. I know what and how they thought.
12:33:28 am:
©Alice©: I knew that if once I would talk to them about you and me, they would understand everything. Your parents too. And, everything would get fine then.
12:34:35 am:
Theodore Bentley: What would get fine?
12:34:19 am:
©Alice©: I mean, we won't have to leave anything and go, anywhere, like you are saying
There will be no need of it, then.
12:35:17 am:
Theodore Bentley: Would you marry me?
12:34:41 am:
©Alice©: If you want to, then ofcourse, YES!
12:35:55 am:
Theodore Bentley: Ok if I wanted.
12:36:22 am:
Theodore Bentley: So for that you'll need to leave your family and home.
12:36:35 am:
Theodore Bentley: Would you leave ?
12:37:29 am:
©Alice©: Leave my family and home.
12:37:43 am:
©Alice©: But isn't it supposed to happen that way only?
12:38:45 am:
Theodore Bentley: No I mean run away.
12:38:49 am:
©Alice©: Why would we run away? Once, we talk to our families, everything will be fine. And, I knew my parents. Haven't I told you that? If they would've been here, they would have agreed, at the end.
12:39:06 am:
Theodore Bentley: You know your family, like you are saying and I know mine. My family would never agree.
12:39:31 am:
Theodore Bentley: So, if I want to marry you, then I'll have to take this step. I will have to leave everything behind.
12:39:55 am:
Theodore Bentley: And if I have to do so, then I can even imagine what would happen.
12:39:35 am:
©Alice©: Okay. Fine. I get your point. But I don't understand why is this thing coming now? We never hopped 100%, to get married. Didn't we decided that we'll be together till the day it is possible, irrespective of the thing about marriage.
12:40:37 am:
Theodore Bentley: I know but better is we stay away from each other.
12:41:04 am:
Theodore Bentley: Cause, right now, we can. Later on, we can not. It would be more difficult.
12:40:28 am:
©Alice©: So, you are saying this now. You knew about your family from the very beginning.
Why didn't you thought about it before?
12:41:40 am:
Theodore Bentley: I wasn't mature then. I didn't realised the intensity of the consequences that we'd have to face, that my family or your family would've to face.
I didn't had that much brains.
12:41:21 am:
©Alice©: Wow, this is amazing. The person before you is a fool, right?
12:41:36 am:
©Alice©: I wasn't mature then but now I am, so bye bye, take care.
12:42:30 am:
Theodore Bentley: I never gave a thought before that whatever am doing or have been doing, what affect that would have on my dad and his work.
12:42:04 am:
©Alice©: Ok.
I couldn't keep the tears coming out because of the anger in me. But this wasn't the time to be angry or carry any kind of emotion. The time was to look and understand the situation our relation was in.
12:43:20 am:
Theodore Bentley: See, please. This doesn't mean the end of life. Life is there, still there. You just need to live it for others.
12:42:47 am:
©Alice©: Ty.
12:43:05 am:
©Alice©: For being an eye-opener.
12:43:59 am:
Theodore Bentley: Come on
Its not easy.. I know.
12:44:50 am:
Theodore Bentley: But we have to go through it.
12:44:35 am:
©Alice©: Yeah. Thankyou.
12:45:41 am:
Theodore Bentley: See I made a mistake that I came so far with you. Ok, fine. It's my fault.
12:45:56 am:
Theodore Bentley: But for this I should be punished and not my dad.
Does he have any idea what impact that statement just had on me. He loved me and for all the time we had together, he is considering that as a mistake. A punishment!
12:45:30 am:
©Alice©: Theodore!
12:45:38 am:
©Alice©: How could you?
12:45:46 am:
©Alice©: Nothing!
12:45:49 am:
©Alice©: Tc!
12:46:38 am:
Theodore Bentley: Hey!
12:46:55 am:
Theodore Bentley: What do you think, is it easy for me?
12:46:19 am:
©Alice©: My love for you is a punishment, so ofcourse how could it be easy for you!
12:47:06 am:
Theodore Bentley: Just cause I don't show, it doesn't mean that I am not being affected by all this.
12:46:24 am:
©Alice©: You are free!
12:46:32 am:
©Alice©: No one has to pay for it. For my love.
12:46:39 am:
©Alice©: No one will.
12:48:07 am:
Theodore Bentley: I didn't tell you from the beginning.
12:48:57 am:
Theodore Bentley: That Alice our families won't accept us together. So, we shouldn't be together.
12:49:08 am:
Theodore Bentley: It's my fault.
12:49:24 am:
Theodore Bentley: It's my fault that I didn't stop myself or you. For that I should be punished not my dad.
12:48:53 am:
©Alice©: You are saying that it's your fault. But for whom did you do this? Who is the reason behind this fault?
12:48:59 am:
©Alice©: That's me.So it isn't your fault but mine.
12:50:53 am:
Theodore Bentley: If later something happens..
12:51:07 am:
Theodore Bentley: Nothing. Just leave it.
12:50:34 am:
©Alice©: It's last now, the ending. So, atleast speak up evrything now.
The only good thing was that all this conversation was happening on texts and not call because if it would have happened on a call, I would have broke down into tears by now, which I would have not wanted in front of him.
12:51:22 am:
Theodore Bentley: In the starting when you stopped talking to me..
12:51:38 am:
Theodore Bentley: I felt the same way, then.
12:51:47 am:
Theodore Bentley: And, now also I feel the same way.
12:52:03 am:
Theodore Bentley: I just don't show, that's it.
12:52:36 am:
Theodore Bentley: There is no difference in my feelings, what I felt the 1st time and what I am feeling now.
12:52:57 am:
Theodore Bentley: Its not about last time, Alice. It's about taking it up, in a matured way.
12:52:51 am:
©Alice©: For me it is the last time.
Cause I don't have that much strength now. You are matured but I am not. There's nothing left in me.
12:53:39 am:
Theodore Bentley: It's not like it's the last time. It's just that we've to maintain distance.
12:53:31 am:
©Alice©: Forget it!
12:54:19 am:
Theodore Bentley: Come on, Alice.
12:53:48 am:
©Alice©: No come 'ON'. It's Off.
12:54:00 am:
©Alice©: Mind.
Heart.
Everything.
12:54:19 am:
©Alice©: You are doing it right.
There is nothing wrong in this.
12:55:12 am:
Theodore Bentley: Come on!
12:55:30 am:
Theodore Bentley: You are makeing it difficult for both of us now.
12:55:00 am:
©Alice©: You have done a great job till now and will carry it on, I know.
12:55:50 am:
Theodore Bentley: Take it up strongly.
12:55:07 am:
©Alice©: 👍
12:55:14 am:
©Alice©: All the best.
12:56:07 am:
Theodore Bentley: Come on
12:56:11 am:
Theodore Bentley: Hey!
12:56:16 am:
Theodore Bentley: This is not you. You are not like this.
12:55:37 am:
©Alice©: Take care.
12:55:42 am:
©Alice©: Of yourself.
12:55:47 am:
©Alice©: And your family.
12:56:33 am:
Theodore Bentley: You were like strong.
12:56:39 am:
Theodore Bentley: Brave.
12:56:15 am:
©Alice©: That's the difference here. I was strong and brave. Not anymore.
12:57:19 am:
Theodore Bentley: No. You are still.
12:57:57 am:
Theodore Bentley: Believe in yourself.
12:58:26 am:
Theodore Bentley: You are free and not stuck to one thing.
12:59:08 am:
Theodore Bentley: You can fly high.
12:59:32 am:
Theodore Bentley: Its not that someone is not with you anymore.
1:00:00 am:
Theodore Bentley: Its about living life in a different way.
1:00:18 am:
Theodore Bentley: More energeticly.
1:00:25 am:
Theodore Bentley: More confidently.
I went offline and read all the last messages from the notification centre. I didn't had the strength left anymore, so I activated the flight mode and went to sleep, only to cry till my eyes gave up.
•••
Next morning, I woke up with puffy and red eyes. It looked like someone punched me, right on my eyes because of the dark circles. As soon as my eyes met the sunday morning, all the last night flashes of Theo's messages came back, making me only more miserable. Earlier, there was a hope that he'd wake up and come back to me. But now I don't think it would be sensible to talk about Theo's comeback. Because, it was clear enought that there weren't any chances left.
I switched off the flight mode and a last night message appeared which was ofcourse from Theo.
1:00:43 am:
Theodore Bentley: Bye tc.
I kept on looking at it and then re-read few of the last messages. The reason behind all this was me and me only. I started typing replies to his last unreplied messages.
7:47:28 am:
©Alice©: Stuck to one thing..
You have no idea what it meant to me.
So you better keep you suggestions for and to yourself.
Just go!
You enjoy your life and just never do this to anyone else.
7:48:21 am:
©Alice©: I never intended to come between you n your family
Neither will I now.
I made my headstrong so that it don't stop working and let heart overtake it. He cares and loves his parents which is quite obvious and right. Parents should come first.
I wasn't expecting any replied from him now. Therefore, I switched off my cellular data, so that I don't get tempted to check my whats all again and again, hurting oy myself with no replies from him.
•••
I don't know when I slept again. It was Serene's call that woke me up. It was 1 in the afternoon. I spoke to her around 10 minutes. She needed some pictures of my notes and that's why she asked me to come online on whats app. Also, for the next Saturday, they wanted to make some plan beforehand, so I was also required in the group chat.
The more I was trying to stay away from whats app, the more things were taking me to it. I wasn't even using any other social networking site, so there was no option, other than sticking to whats app only.
As I went online, there were replies from Theo which wa unusual. I was expecting some rude and I-don't-care type replies. But they turned out something very unexpected.
9:56:20 am:
Theodore Bentley: I never said that you came between me and my family.
9:57:14 am:
Theodore Bentley: But it was me who came between my dad and his work.
9:57:28 am:
Theodore Bentley: Don't take me in that way.
9:59:25 am:
Theodore Bentley: Even I want to be with you.
9:59:46 am:
Theodore Bentley: Even I want to stay with you.
10:00:02 am:
Theodore Bentley: Even I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you.
10:03:28 am:
Theodore Bentley: When ever I said that I love you, I meant it.
10:03:41 am:
Theodore Bentley: And I still, I still love you.
10:04:15 am:
Theodore Bentley: Even it hurt me when I see you like this.
10:05:48 am:
Theodore Bentley: I just don't say anything cause that will make things more difficult.
10:06:58 am:
Theodore Bentley: Baby you need to forget me.
10:08:21 am:
Theodore Bentley: Ok, fine. You wanna hear!
10:08:30 am:
Theodore Bentley: I LOVE YOU. Yes, I love you.
10:08:42 am:
Theodore Bentley: 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
10:09:40 am:
Theodore Bentley: It's the truth.
10:10:01 am:
Theodore Bentley: Even I miss those times.
I just wanted to hug him and say that you don't have to do this. Just be with me and together we'll find a way out. Some other alternate. But I stopped myself, thinking it would be selfish of me. But he asked me to forget him!
1:20:38 pm:
©Alice©: How can you ask me to forget you?
Leave it!
You'll get what you want.
Thankyou for everything.
1:21:14 pm:
©Alice©: And I mean it. Keep missing all those times cause that's only you can do now.
1:22:00 pm:
©Alice©: And, I LOVE YOU TOO..
12:05:20 am: Theodore Bentley: 👍