This is the Epilogue of COASTLINE FROM THE SKY, the fourth installment of Aviators Series. This is also ARSHED’S POV.
Thank you so much for reaching this far! 💋
Epilogue
Coastline
Never had crossed my mind that I’ll be in an aviation world. Knowing that my father is a notorious business tycoon in Sicily, with all the illegal businesses, I wasn't able to decide on my own. Me and my brother, Ivor, were never able to do what we really wanted.
Growing up, we were controlled by our father. After our mother died because of my father's enemy, Ivor managed to escape from our house. He leaves the house... and me. I was just 13 when he left me too.
My father's anger was blown up after he learned that my brother escaped. He punishes me for thinking that I'm helping Ivor. When in fact, I didn't. Ivor didn't tell me anything about his plans. Kaya nang nalaman kong tumakas siya, napuno ng sakit ang puso ko. Yes, I am thankful that he finally escaped from hell. He managed to escape from our house that serves as our hell on earth.
But I think it was enough. It's the right thing he should do. Tama naman ang ginawa niya, dahil kahit ako, ayaw ko sa lugar na ito. Not until my father focused his hate and anger towards me. He punishes me whenever he wants and he likes it.
When I was in my teen years, I was already dealing with drug lords, killers, kidnappers, prostitutes, and illegal shipments. I haven't even tried to enjoy my life. I haven't tried playing with other kids, because I was busy dealing with the punishments that my father had given to me if they have unsuccessful shipments and deals. Ako lahat ang sumasalo sa parusang hindi naman ako ang may kasalanan.
Kaya nang tumuntong ako sa edad na desi otso ay tuluyan na akong nakapagdesisyong mamuhay ng sarili ko. Ginawa ko na agad iyon. My father finally unchained me from his grip, and I took that as an opportunity to live my life the way I wanted it to be.
I didn't expect that I’d be in Canada. I never thought about it. I have never thought of where I should settle. But my feet brought me to Canada, to Queens International Airline.
I have never imagined that I’ll be in this glamorous yet very dangerous job. But it just added the fuel of eagerness that I have in myself from a long time ago.
Pero tuluyan talaga akong na-hook sa trabahong ito nang makilala ko sa training ang isang napakagandang babae na nakilala ko sa buong buhay ko. She's one of our trainers and she's not just cool, but also fuckingly intimidating and charming at the same time.
Kahit gaano pa kahirap ang training na pinapagawa niya, parang ramdam ko pa rin ang saya. Kahit pa siguro utusan niya akong tumalon mula sa eroplano ng walang parachute o harness ay gagawin ko nang nakangiti! Ganoon ako kabaliw sa kanya.
I’ve met plenty of women in my life. From work my father made me take, I tasted a lot of them. But nothing can compare to the beauty and amazement I have felt towards her.
Captain Carlisle Adria Rae Yara...
I always chanted her name in my mind. But knowing that she is in a relationship with a scout ranger, I lie-low. I don't want her to disgust me for liking her that much.
“Officer Salvaleon, you’ll be the permanent co-pilot of Captain Yara. Starting tomorrow, you'll be under her wing.”
Para akong dinuduyan habang naglalakad palabas ng opisina matapos ang pag-a-assign sa amin. Hindi naman kasi ako nag-e-expect na siya ang magiging piloto ko dahil sa dami namin at sa dami ng pilotong walang co-pilot, nataon talaga na sa kanya ako. And I’m glad that I'll be under her wing.
“Ready to be under my command, Officer Salvaleon?” Carae challenged me. I know that she just wants to scare me. Little did she not know that I am even ready to die for her.
I am even ready to be on top of her!
Fuck you, Arshed!
I wanted to tease her, but I am fucking scared like a kitten that she'll kick me out in this plane and hate me, and worst, she would want a new co-pilot. Scared that she'll replace me.
“Why choose to enter the aviation world? I heard that you came from a filthy wealthy family, and owned a lot of businesses. Why choose to put your life in daily danger when you can work under an air-conditioned room all day? You can even choose your own schedule for work. Unlike here, you don't have a say about your schedule and whom your partner would be?”
The curiosity was dripping on Captain Carae’s voice.
I shrugged my shoulder.
“Believe me, Captain, I don't even know why I ended up here.” She stared at me intently. “All I know was... I am grateful that I’m here and I’ll be under your wing. I won’t regret that I ended up here,” I added.
I’ll take it as a destiny. Being together in the same aircraft is a meant to be for me.
I was enjoying my life living freely. No father who keeps on contacting me. No punishments that I needed to take. No illegal jobs that I needed to get. I am living freely as bird.
Kaya nang pinuntahan ako ni Hexy para sabihing bumalik si Ivor ay hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip na bumalik sa Sicily. I went back to the place I loathed the most for the sake of my brother.
Hexy is my ex-girlfriend. She is a secret agent, but she is known as a model for her cover up. Naghiwalay kami for both reasons: we are busy and we can't accommodate each other anymore. But we're still friends. And we're casual to each other.
I don't know why he came back. I wanted to see him again, yes, but not in the place where we both hated. Kaya ang malamang bumalik siya ay hindi ko lubos maintindihan.
For seventeen years had passed, I finally saw him, standing tall and bulky, just like me. But his body looks more fine and trained with tattoos on it too.
I don't know what he is doing to those past years, but I'm glad he's doing well.
“Long time no see, brother.”
My jaw clenched as I stared at him, leaning in front of our father's table in his office in our house. He's holding a scotch on the other hand.
I jolted my hands in my pocket and stood in front of him.
“Why did you come back?” I asked him straight to the point. Because what's the point of coming back now if he already has a better life outside this hellish mansion? I would never want to come back here, because I chose to live better.
Ivor scoffed and shrugged.
“Don’t tell me you didn't get the news?”
Nagsalubong ang mga kilay ko dahil sa tanong niya.
“Where is Ivan? And his men?” tukoy ko sa ama namin. Kasi simula nang pumasok ako ay wala akong nakitang tauhan ng ama namin dito. Kahit nasa lakad si Ivan ay marami pa ring mga tauhan na naiiwan dito sa mansion. Unlike now, the silence is deafening and eerie.
“Ivan is dead,” Ivor declared and shrugged his shoulders again, like what he just said is nothing important.
“I killed him and some of his men died with him, the remaining were captured by the CIA,” dagdag niya. I haven't processed yet what he just said, then he added another news again.
“What? How?” litong tanong ko. Kasi impossible na mahuli lang ng ganoon-ganoon ang mga tauhan nito at mawala si Ivan. He has lots of connections, kaya napaka-imposible, unless it's an inside job.
Ivor sighed and he went to the near consoled table and got another glass, then poured alcohol on it, then gave it to me.
“I came back three years ago. I thought you're still here, but Ivan said that you have your own life now. That he already let you go because you deserve it. Because you're a good son.” Halos matikman ko na ang pait hindi dahil sa inuming hawak ko, kung hindi dahil sinabi ni Ivor.
Ivan didn't let me go, he was just untightened his grips to me because he thought I already accepted my faith in his hands! And I never became a good son for him.
“You are his favorite, huh? That's why he lets you live like how you want it to be,” puno ng sarkasmong saad ni Ivor.
Did he really believe that I wasn't treated like a robot by the person who was our own father? Did he really think I lived my life like how I want it to be?
He didn't realize that he was lucky that he escaped in hell. Because of that, he freely does whatever he likes outside. While I am not. My teenage years would never be the same as his. I would always envy him for having the courage to leave me. Kasi ako, hindi ko kayang umalis at iwan siyang kasama ang ama namin.
The moment he left, Ivan uptight his grips to me, because he was sure that I'll escape like Ivor did. He always reminds me that if ever I try to escape, he’ll hunt Ivor down until he's dead. And as usual, I won't let him do that to the only person I know of my family.
I know that Ivan will surely do what he said. Alam kong hahanapin niya kahit saang lupalop ng mundo nagtatago ang kapatid ko. Kaya niya lang naman hindi hinanap si Ivor ay dahil hawak niya ako. He used my brother to threaten me.
“You shouldn't come back, Ivor,” saad ko.
Ivor just scoffed and sipped on his Scotch.
“Do you really think I came back wholeheartedly? He kidnapped the only woman I loved while we were in training in the air force, Arshed! He threatened me that if I won't come back to him, he’ll kill her.”
Kitang-kita ko ang sakit na dumaan sa mga mata ng kapatid ko nang sabihin niya iyon.
“Pumasok ka sa air force?” mahinang tanong ko dahil hindi ko iyon inaasahan. Agad siyang nag-iwas ng tingin sa akin.
“Yes. And I wasn't even able to fully join dahil iniwan ko iyon. I left her without saying anything... I just... disappeared in her life.”
Bumuntonghininga ako.
“I came back with him not just to protect someone, but because I thought he could at least, love me like he did to you. Kasi sabi niya, malaya ka nang ginagawa kung ano ang gusto mo. Sumama ako kahit na ayaw ko, dahil iniisip ko na baka balang araw magiging malaya rin ako katulad mo. Na hindi ko na kailangang mangamba na baka mahanap niya ako. Sumama ako dahil ayaw kong maging dahilan ng pagkawala ng taong minahal ko ng higit pa sa buhay ko.”
I held my breath and slowly blew it.
“Pero kahit na anong gawin ko, hindi niya ma-appreciate iyon. He always compares me to you. You are always the best for him.”
Gusto kong tawanan ang mga sinasabi ni Ivor. But I couldn't, dahil alam kung hindi nakakatuwa ang mga nangyari. Aminin ko man o hindi, I also crave for love and attention from our father.
It's normal. We lost our mother and at that moment, if feels like I'm all alone after Ivor left me.
He's younger than me, of course he crave for love and attention too. Sino ba ang hindi?
“I did a lot of things that were against my will, Arshed. Para lang makita niya ako. Para lang ma-appreciate niya ako katulad mo. But he can't. It's always you, who was the best for him.”
But he didn't! Ivan never did appreciate me! It's just his words for him to envy me. But the fact is, I am the one who envied him.
“It really doesn't matter to me, though. But what triggers me was, again, he targeted the woman I love.”
Pumikit si Ivor bago nag-iwas ng tingin sa akin. Nang binuksan niya ulit ang mga mata ay kitang-kita ko na kung paano bumalatay ang sakit doon.
Is the woman she's talking about still alive?
“I almost blew up the DIA, where, she and her team were assigned to make sure that that airline would be safe.”
She's alive. I know she is.
Who is she by the way? I hope I am able to met and know her so I can thank her for whatever she did for my brother.
“The moment I saw her, it was like my wake up call. She's living to protect those people whom we both protect before, and I almost destroyed her. Kaya nang mag-offer ang CIA na tutulungan nila akong mag bagong buhay, kapalit ni Ivan, I grabbed that opportunity.”
Bumuntonghininga hininga ako kasabay ni Ivor.
I know what he's thinking. Matagal kaming hindi nagkita pero alam konh siya pa rin ang Ivor na kilala ko. Siya pa rin ang kapatid ko.
“Ngayon, kung kamumuhian mo ako dahil sa ginawa ko—”
“No. You did a great job, Ivor. You did the right thing.” Agad kong pinutol ang kung ano pa man ang sasabihin niya. Nag-iwas ng tingin si Ivor sa akin.
Alam kung ama namin ang pinag-uusapan namin. Pero hindi namin deserve ang ginagawa niya sa amin. We deserve more than that. He doesn't treat us like a human, he treats us like a robot. He always make sure that everyone will follow him. Everyone wouldn't dare to go against him. He always finds a way to blackmail us.
“Akala ko tuluyan niya na akong pinalaya kasi hindi na niya ako inabala sa mga nagdaang taon. Pero hindi pala. Ang kapalit pala ng pagluwag ng paghawak niya sa akin ay ang kapatid ko.”
Bumuntonghininga ako. Nakahilig sa akin si Carae habang nasa duyan kami sa garden ng bahay na nabili namin dito sa Istanbul.
“Akala ko naprotektahan ko siya mula sa ama namin. I’ve never thought that he had a grip on him already while I'm living my life freely.”
Parang pinipiga pa rin ang puso ko kapag naaalala ko ang pinag-usapan namin ni Ivor. Hindi ko alam na ang dami rin pala niyang sakripisyo dahil kay Ivan. Kung alam ko lang na nakabalik siya, babalik din ako. Dahil sisiguraduhin kong hindi siya mahahawakan ni Ivan sa leeg, katulad ng ginawa niya sa akin. Pero hindi. I failed my mother. I failed protecting my brother.
“I failed him. I failed my mother... I am a failure.”
Humarap si Carae sa akin at hinaplos ang pisngi ko.
“Of course, you're not. You protected him, sa paraang alam mo. It's not your fault that your father was so cruel to both of you. You are not a failure, Arshed. May mga bagay lang talaga na hindi natin kayang kontrolin. May mga bagay na hindi natin inaasahang mangyari. So, don't even think that you're a failure, because you are not. You helped me to raise again when I was at my lowest. You gave me hope, even if I thought I don't have anything at all. You are my strength, Arshed.”
And here she is, the woman who always makes every negative thing sees it in a positive way. She always makes me value everything. She always makes me feel worth it even if I thought I was nothing.
“You don't need to do that, she doesn't like me,” saad ko nang tuluyan nang nawala sa paningin namin si Carae.
“She likes you, but she just doesn't want to admit it to herself.”
Magkasabay kaming naglakad ni Hexy sa hallway palabas ng building nang sabihin niya iyon.
Kung ganoon nga lang sana ay sigurado akong masaya ako. Kaso hindi. I am not the one who her heart beats for.
“She has a boyfriend, a scout ranger.”
Hexy stopped from walking and gazed at me. Tamad ko siyang tiningnan. Playfulness was evident in her eyes, kaya bumuntonghininga ako.
“Are you threatened?” She smirked. “Sad to know that she's not available, huh,” she added just to irritate me.
And it works. It really works.
I twisted my lips in an annoyance.
“I am not threatened. I just want to let you know that she isn't single and I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me.”
Tumawa si Hexy dahil sa sinabi ko, kaya inis ko na naman siyang pinaikotan ng mga mata bago naglakad ulit.
There are lots of men whom I know likes her. Kahit saan siya magpunta ay nakikita ko ang paghanga sa mga mata ng mga kalalakihang nakakasalamuha namin.
Turkish men were devastatingly handsome, at sa mga iyon pa lang ay wala na akong panama kung sakaling may magugustuhan si Carae sa kanila.
She is very beautiful that even younger men will fazed by looking at her.
Sa tuwing nagla-landing kami sa Istanbul, ang daming mga kalalakihang halos mabali ang leeg kalilingon sa gawi namin, because she's with us.
Gusto ko siyang ipagdamot. But I don't have the right. I am just her co-pilot. I am under her command. And I don't have any right to demand.
Alam ko namang wala akong pag-asa kay Carae. She's in love with her boyfriend, kaya hanggang paghanga na lang ako sa kanya.
“Nami-miss mo na, ‘no?” Siniringan ko si Devon dahil sa sinabi nito.
I saw a picture posted on someone's social media and she was tagged in it. They're taking a picture together with some aviator in Denmark.
Every time I saw her smiling to someone, it feels like my heart was tug out from my chest. She looks like a sun, shining every dark corner. Pero sa likod ng mga nakakasilaw na ngiting iyon ay ang pusong durog at nangungulila.
“Dapat kasi umamin ka na, malay mo naman. Kaysa naman sa you're just settling on admiring and loving her silently.”
I don't have the guts to do it.
“She had a boyfriend, Devon, unless you forget.”
Devon's lips stretch for a grin, kaya umirap na lang ako.
“You’re talking like a broken hearted man,” natatawang saad niya na mas lalong ikinasama ng mukha ko.
Sometimes, when Carae teases me, I feel like I'm drowning in quicksand, but I am not worried at all. Looking at her smiling while teasing me is like a sweet punishment. And I am so down to give it to her. Wala akong ihihindi sa kanya. I’ll sink in a quicksand happily.
But seeing how broken she is after she learned that her bought cheated on her is like a punishment to me, a bitter and painful punishment.
I don't want her to see his boyfriend cheating on her, but I won't tolerate the situation either. I don't like the thought of seeing her in pain and suffering.
She's already suffering from her family. I don't want her to suffer even more. Sapat na iyong naranasan niya sa pamilya niya.
Carae is too good to be treated like she's nothing at all.
I shouldn't feel happy. She's in pain because her boyfriend cheated on her. But knowing that they broke up, it just made me happy. I can't deny that to myself. I can't help it.
Masaya ako, not because she's hurt, but because she'll be single.
I am not saying that I can finally have a chance to her... pero umaasa ako.
Umaasa akong mapansin niya na ako. Umaasa akong mabigyan niya ako ng pansin.
I just didn't realized that the pain her boyfriend caused will be also the reason why she is suffering again.
May narinig kaming lumagabog kaya lumingon ako sa isang binatilyo na pababa sa slide. Mag-isa lang ito.
“I-I’m disabled. I-I can't w-walk,” utal na saad nito. Agad ko siyang tinulungang maayos ng upo at tiningnan ulit ang eroplano nang lumagabog ulit ito.
“Where is Carae?”
“Captain!”
Sabay na sigaw namin ni Devon bago nakita ang dahan-dahang paglubog ng eroplano.
Nilibot ko ang paningin sa lahat ng mga nakalabas ng eroplano to check if Carae was there. But she wasn't. I didn't saw her followed me.
My heart beat’s races. I need to go back. Carae was still inside.
“Delikado na, Arshed. The plane sunk already!”
“I need to go back inside! Captain Yara was still inside!” sigaw ko kay Devon nang pigilan ako nitong bumalik sa loob.
Gumuho na ang eroplano at unti-unti na itong nawala sa paningin ko, kasama si Carae. And it fucking scare me looking at that damn thing.
She's still inside, habang ang niligtas niyang binatilyo ay nakalabas na.
I am sick worried dahil hindi ito nakasunod agad.
“Delikado, Officer Salvaleon!” pigil ni Devon sa akin.
“Officer, we need you to get in the safe place already,” saad ng isa sa mga rescuers.
Umiling ako. If Carae wouldn't be here right now, I don't have a reason to go to that fucking safe place!
“Officer Salvaleon!”
“Arshed!”
Sabay na sigaw ni Devon at ng rescuers bago ako tumalon mula sa rescue boat at tuluyang lumangoy pailalim sa eroplano para hanapin si Carae.
If I lost her, it would be better if I lost with her. I don't want to live knowing that she'll not be in my life anymore. I don't want a life without her.
I saw her. She's falling deeper and deeper, and she's unconscious already. Kaya wala na akong sinayang na segundo para mailigtas siya.
Knowing that she wouldn't be able to walk for the meantime scares me. What if’s were running on my mind. Hindi ko alam kung paano niya iyon matatanggap. But one thing is for sure: I’ll stay with her at her lowest. I won't leave her no matter what.
I am ready to sacrifice for her. I am ready to die for her. Kaya ang pag-aalaga sa kanya ay wala lang para sa akin. It's just a tiny piece, kapalit sa mga panahong makakasama ko siya.
I'll help her get back to her old life. I'll be with her if she wants to build a new life. I'll always be with her, supporting, whatever happens.
“Why are you still here, Officer Salvaleon!?” she asked angrily. Natigil ako sa paghaplos sa likod niya at naguguluhang tumitig.
“I’m here because I’m taking care of you, Captain,” sa malumanay ko pa ring boses.
She remained her expression blank while looking at me. She's stressed out, I know it. And I understand her. I really do.
“It’s not your obligation to take care of me. I am not your captain anymore. You should go back to Canada now.”
No. I am not just taking care of her out of pity. I know she's not my obligations. But I did it because I like it. I like taking care of her. And hearing her telling me to go back to Canada hurts me.
I don't want to. I will never go anywhere without her.
“I am here, taking care of you, not because I am obligated to be, Captain. I am here, taking care of you because I want to. Gusto kong alagaan kita. I want to be the one taking care of you—”
“I don’t need you to pity me, Officer Salvaleon! I can take care of myself. You can go back now to Canada,” putol niya sa akin.
“Baldado na ako. Pabigat lang ako. Kaya ano pa ang ginagawa mo rito!?”
She's furious. And I really understand her. She's in pain. What she feels is valid.
“And it won't make you less of a woman, Captain.”
What happened to her doesn't make her less of a woman. She's still the woman I fell in love the first time my eyes landed on her. She's still the very first woman who made me wanted to live more, but is ready to die for her too. She that woman, who made me believe in love.
Beautiful inside and out.
“I don't like the idea of you meeting him,” saad ko, naiinis pa rin dahil sa nakita kong excitement sa mga mata niya na makilala ang kapatid ko.
I know that she was once joined the military, and that also made her more excited to meet Ivor.
Kasalanan ko rin naman kung bakit ko sinabi. But I am fucking jealous. She was never excited to see me like how she feels excited meeting my brother. It hurts. And it annoys me.
“I am more handsome than him!” I hissed at my self painfully. Selos na selos ako, pero wala akong magagawa.
Seeing her trying her best to be able to walk again, hurts me. I know it's painful for her. To be like that. Not able to walk after the accident that happened. I know it breaks her... but it also breaks me. But on the other hand, I know that she is strong too. I know she can do it.
“I already found Carae’s biological mother.”
I shifted on my position when I heard what Hexy said on the other line.
“Are you sure about it?” paninigurado ko. Though, kahit kailan ay hindi naman ito pumapalpak sa mga assignment o misyon na ginawa, kaya nga sa kanya ako lumapit para hanapin ang tunay na ina ni Carae, because I know, Hexy will find it.
“Of course I'm sure. I can arrange a dinner meeting with you and her mother.”
“Okay, sure. I'll talk to her first just to make sure.”
I sighed. I don't know if it will be okay to Carae. But I just want to try my lack.
“I can also arrange a dinner with you, her mother, and her.”
Malaki na ang abala ko kay Hexy. At maliit na bagay na lang ang pag-a-arrange ng dinner meeting, kaya ako na ang gumawa.
After what happened between us last night, I really thought that it was just a dream. But waking up while Carae snuggled up in my arms proves that it isn't just a dream. It happened, and I feel like floating in the air.
This feeling... I always crave for this. Only for her.
“I’ve been yours since I first laid my eyes on you.”
I caress her face while watching her with her still sleepy eyes. She looks so cute and beautiful while trying to open her eyes but couldn't stay open for a long time. I know that she's tired after what happened last night. We’ve done love making ‘til dawn, and if she wasn't sleepy, we're probably still doing it until this morning.
But I am not that ruthless to deprived her from sleeping.
“I would hold you ‘til the end of the world.”
I’ll make sure of that. She is my coastline. Without her, I won't be able to see a picturesque life ahead of me. She'll always be my coastline from the sky; beautiful, smashed by challenges in life, but still standing beautifully and strong.
—
GorgeousYooo 🛫