[tw: harassment]
"You look breathless," Nila said, as soon as she took her spot next to Vijay. "Your face is pink, like it's bruised up. Is it because of practice?"
"Yeah. Do you have water? I forgot to bring mine," he said and Nila gave him her water bottle. He took huge gulps of water, dripping all over his pink shirt when the bus wobbled on the broken road. Nila handed him a tissue in exchange for her bottle and noticed that he had finished almost all of the water. She held back a laugh. "Thanks."
"Do you want to sit?" she asked, pointing to the empty seat that just cleared up.
"No, you go sit. I'll be fine," he said, pushing her towards the seat already. Nila knew arguing with him would lead nowhere. She didn't want a repeat of what happened and end up giving up the seat to a random stranger. Taking the seat, she gathered her bag into her lap and asked for his.
"Either you take this seat or give me your bag. No other option, Vijay," she clarified firmly. He knew when to not push it. He gave her his bag. It seemed like he had sprayed perfume over his gym bag but it didn't work. The stench of sweat seeped through it. "This bag has the capacity to rival a deadly bomb. Do you never wash your socks?"
He scratched his neck sheepishly. "It's not socks. It's my running shoes. I forgot it was in my bag and grabbed it for college. Is it heavy?"
Vijay reached for the bag to take it back but she swatted his hand away. "No, it's not."
"By the way, I have something for you in my bag. I forgot to give it to you yesterday. It's in the front zip," he said. Nila opened it and pulled out a silver and ruby pink card. "It's Farah's wedding invitation. She addressed it to you. She wants you there, no excuses."
Nila popped an eyebrow at his words.
"Her words, not mine!" he immediately added and scratched the back of his neck. "Though, it's what I want to say as well. You can't leave me with Krish alone."
Nila opened it and saw Farah's and Aadil's names in elegant cursive print, with only the necessary details on it. It was minimalistic and simple. She liked her taste. "I'll be there for sure. But I don't understand why Krish's company would be so bad. He seems fun. I like hanging out with him. That day at the mall for example, I realised that green tea made no sense being green because tea leaves turn brown when they are dried. And Krish explained why it was so. I was mind blown. I feel like he is a walking encyclopedia. You can learn so much for free."
"I love Krish, okay? He is like my brother. But when it comes to picking a conversation with you or him, the answer is rather obvious here, isn't it?" Vijay said casually, like he was only stating an universal fact. Nila's cheeks heated. He found her more interesting than Krish? Nila would have called him out on the blatant lie if she hadn't had any idea how much effort Vijay made to talk to her. She knew he was telling the truth. And it warmed her heart.
"When is the wedding?" she asked, forgetting to note the date before bagging the invitation.
"End of next month. The venue is close to my friend's apartment. I was wondering if you'd be able to stay the night before her wedding so that we could make it a two-day event. We could all hang out the day before, even manage to snag Farah along if we can, go for a drive late at night and explore food spots or whatever you want. Then we can crash at his place and then go to the wedding the next day —"
"Vijay—"
"My friend has a twin sister. We all did our undergrad together. She'll be there if you think you'd be alone among us boys. It won't be awkward, I swear."
"Vijay—"
"And, you don't need to pay anything. They won't even mind. I'll be there, Krish will also be there, so we'll take care of you. I think it'll be fun—"
She clutched his shirt. "Vijay, let me talk, you idiot!" she said and that's when he shut his mouth. "It sounds wonderful. I would love to join you all. I know you'll keep me safe and I trust you. But my parents won't let me."
He thought about it for a while and then with a little tilt of his head, he asked, "How would they know if you don't tell them?"
Her neck ached from looking up at him to talk. As soon as the lady next to her bent down to pick up her shopper bag, she alerted Vijay so that he could take her seat. Only when he did, her neck found relief. "You're asking me to lie to my parents?" she asked him.
"Haven't you ever done that before?"
Nila chuckled. "Fair point. But it doesn't mean I like doing it and that it's easy."
"You don't have to lie. You can just not mention that you are outside and staying with a bunch of boys."
She touched his arm gently before she stood up to get down at her stop. "I'll think about it, okay?"
"I really want you to come," he said softly. His brown eyes resembled a warm cup of chai on a rainy day. She wanted to hide in there.
"I know."
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Nila's bus was late.
It only meant one thing: when the bus showed up, it was going to be packed — a suffocating, sweaty crowd of cranky people returning from their disappointing and heavy day at work. Nila hated that her college ended at the same time most jobs did. Maya complained every day that the local trains were overflowing with people. Sanjay wore a permanent look of distaste on his face when he imagined the traffic. Lilly's shoulders slumped at the thought of taking the crowded metro but she didn't complain much because at least it was air-conditioned. If only the college considered all these things and tweaked the timings a bit. It would help if they let them go at least thirty minutes earlier.
Only when the bus came and she saw the crowd did she realise she forgot to ask Vijay which side he was at. It was too late and she couldn't spot him anywhere so she quickly got in through the tail end. Whenever she travelled in an over-populated bus, she liked to stand in the corners of the bus – just next to the last seat or next to the driver's seat. Never in the middle. It was her one rule. But today, the conductor didn't give her a chance to move to the last seat. He ushered her inside, to the middle. There were three rows of people packing the space between the seats.
She clenched her jaws as someone accidentally elbowed her head. "Sorry," she heard but that didn't help. All that ran in her mind was that there was a difference in the ratio — more men than women. Men all around her, pressing against her, sneezing and coughing into the open air without a care for passing around germs.
When the conductor came around, she thought about Vijay. He was the one who bought her tickets everyday. She had forgotten to take out change. Quickly, she gave the conductor the money and got her ticket, trying to spot Vijay in the crowd. She had an inkling he was somewhere in the front, next to the driver.
Since she had met Vijay, she'd begun to wish the bus would go a little slower. But now she had de-escalated to square one – the square of lonely bus rides and dreary days. She wished the bus would go faster so that she didn't have to stand next to the man who smelled like a week-old bread.
Then something brushed her lower back. Not brushed— pressed. Because whatever it was didn't leave nor did it have any intention of leaving. She knew there was a man standing behind her but he had been facing the other side... until now. And he was pressing himself against her, pushing into her. She bit her teeth, her skin growing cold.
She knew what was happening.
She knew what to do when this was happening.
She remembered what Anamika had told her to do if it ever happened.
But Nila couldn't reflect anything in action.
All she could do was squirm and try moving to the side but there was only an inch of space available to her. When she took that step, the man moved along with her and pressed harder against her. She could feel his... his... Disgust crept over her like an army of spiders.
Anamika told her to carry a safety pin with her so she could prick these perverts where they deserve it. Nila didn't think to carry one today.
She could find a local and tell them about it but what would she tell? That he was pressing his dick against her, trying to get off by rubbing himself against her? What if the man denied it? Who would believe her then?
Who would believe her?
Vijay's face flashed in her mind.
But she knew how he would react if he knew. He'd be livid. She didn't want to make a scene. It was probably stupid of her to worry about attracting unnecessary attention when she was being violated in a public transport but she didn't think she could handle the pitiful and invasive stares after such a day. That would break her into pieces.
An idea that might work came to her. She pulled out her phone and called Vijay.
"Hey, silver. Where are you? I can't see you in the crowd," he said and a tear slipped out of her eye when she listened to his voice.
Nila steeled herself. "I'm in the middle. Will you be able to come to my side?" she said. If he stood next to her, maybe the man would back off.
"The next stop is close. The crowd will shift then. I'll try squeezing in and coming to you," he said. "Is everything okay, silver?"
"Yeah, everything is okay. Um, I'm just bored. I miss you, I guess," she added, a sob almost blotting out her voice.
"Something is wrong, isn't it?" he said, slowly this time. "I'm coming right now."
"Vijay—"
The call ended.
Nila turned around to see the disgusting man behind her. He was a middle-aged man, tall and burly, wearing a leather messenger bag across his chest, his clothes rumpled and untidy. He didn't meet her eyes when she looked at him. He looked ahead, out of the window, as if he wasn't doing anything wrong. As if he was only a tired man responding to the push of the crowd and invading her space. For a second, Nila wondered if she was overthinking it. Maybe it was because of the crowd. Maybe he had no choice—
"What the fuck are you doing?"
Vijay grabbed her hand and pulled her to his side, putting himself between the man and her. "I saw what you were doing. Don't even try to deny it."
Eyes on her. Eyes on them. Eyes everywhere.
The conductor travelled through the crowd to come to them. "What's happening here?"
Vijay didn't even try to lessen the blow. He announced it in front of everyone. "This man... this asshole was rubbing himself on her. What the fuck, man?"
"Show some respect. He is still older than you," someone called out from the crowd.
"That doesn't mean you should respect him, especially after what he's done!" someone else responded.
She had become the object of discussion. So many eyes looking at her, watching her, thinking why she had let him do it. Thinking she needed a hero to come and save her every time. Thinking she was a helpless naive girl, a damsel in distress. Nila wanted to hide. She wanted to jump out of the bus and vanish into thin air. She didn't want to deal with it.
"I never did anything. It was the crowd. What do you expect me to do? There's literally no space," he said, not even intimidated by Vijay's accusation. That sent a tingle of anger through her. He was confident he could get away with it. He must have always gotten away with it before.
"Even if there's no space, no one asked you to rub yourself on a woman. There's still a certain amount of distance everyone can maintain."
"Who is she to you? Who are you to come and accuse me of such a thing?" the man asked and eyes turned back to her. Nila knew she had to say something. She had to defend Vijay like he had done for her. But the shock of the situation was too much. All she wanted to do was escape it. Not tangle the knot more. She wanted to forget it ever happened and get on with her life.
That's what she wanted until she heard the man say, "If she had no problem with what I was doing then what is your—"
"You think I didn't have a problem?" Nila asked, her voice scratchy and wounded. "You didn't see me trying to move the fuck away from you?" Her voice cracked at the end but she faced him eye-to-eye. She glared at him despite the veil of tears flooding her eyes, willing them not to slip down her cheek.
Vijay squeezed her hand. He didn't let go. Never did, not even once.
The man gave a sharp scoff, almost a mocking laugh. "What? I thought you were silently asking for more and enjoying it too—"
Smack.
Vijay slapped him. The sound was deafening and the crowd was silenced for a moment, just a moment, registering the shock of seeing a young boy hitting the shameless perverted older man.
Then the bus screeched into a sharp halt as a brawl broke out.
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