「 thirty-three ✧ etched in my heart 」
tw: panic attack
We all followed Lacey's skipping frame to the line where many were waiting to speak or grab a signature from Rowen and Alaska. Even the security guard reluctantly followed. Curious, I fell into step with him.
"You work for the FBI, correct?" I asked him, glancing at Emilia before turning my attention to him. He was slightly taller than me, or possibly it was just his impeccable posture. His hair was dark, a mirror of his eyes and constant expression.
He cleared his throat. "Yes. I am currently assigned under Alaska and Rowen. The reason I am following you all for the evening is due to..." He grimaced. "New orders and protocol. Apparently, too many of us were watching Rowen and Alaska and not enough were observing the guests."
"Ah," I replied. We arrived at the back of the line, so I turned to him, sticking out my hand. "I don't think I got your name, but I'm Augustus Casen."
He took my hand, giving it a firm shake. "Archer Castillon."
"Castillon? Is that French?"
He nodded tightly. I could tell he was extremely reserved, but his lack of conversation didn't bother me. It surprised me when he asked, "And where are you from?"
"Germany," I replied, then glancing forward to where the others were inching ahead in line. At the sight of Emilia laughing at something Lacey said, I couldn't help the smile that tugged at my lips.
Archer didn't fail to notice the interaction from beside me. "Are you with any of them?" he asked slowly, a bit reluctantly. As if he wanted to know but didn't want to ask.
"Sort of," I answered, grinning now. "Her and I are... trial-dating, per se."
"The girl in the red?" he asked. "And what does 'trial-dating' entail?"
"Yes, Emilia is wearing red. And essentially, she has given me one week to prove myself worthy of being her boyfriend. Today is day two."
At that exact moment, Lia turned around to look for me. Once our eyes locked, she broke out into a beautiful smile that sent my heart racing.
"Congratulations," Archer said from next to me. "It looks like you've already won her over."
My grin only grew at that.
Then he cleared his throat beside me. "And the girl in the gold?"
I shifted my gaze to Lacey, who was conspicuously attempting not to look over at Archer. "Lacey? What about her?"
"Lacey," the FBI agent said, as if testing the name on his tongue. I watched as he stared at her, and despite his fists clenching at his sides, his eyes revealed nothing.
Trained boredom. Blank.
He didn't ask anything more. Instead, he tore his eyes off her and scanned the room, as if busying himself with something to forget about her existence.
We stood in silence until it was our turn, and Alaska and Rowen were standing in front of us. Archer took a forward stance, stepping in front of the group. "Mrs. Cassidy and Mr. Hendrix, these are six college students from some of the most prestigious colleges within America. They had won a competition at a school program they are attending here in California, and were invited here as a prize."
Alaska nodded her thanks to the guard. "It's so nice to meet all of you!" she exclaimed, smiling wildly. Rowen gave a small smile next to her.
"Trust me, it is our pleasure," Lia replied, her grin infectious. "My name is Emilia, this is Lacey, Aurora, Callum, Rohan, and Augustus. The six of us are either from Princeton, Harvard, or Stanford."
"Impressive," Rowen said. "How's the workload?"
Emilia began talking with Rowen about Harvard while Lacey made a move to speak with Alaska about her movie and her ideas for it. I stayed back and Archer eventually joined me.
The minutes passed quickly, and our time was limited. Archer not-so-subtly reminded us that there were people waiting behind us and that we should be curteous.
I stepped up to join the ending of Lia and Rowen's conversation. She said her thank you's and they shared their goodbye's, and I watched as Emilia made over to do her same to Alaska.
I felt Rowen's gaze on me, and I turned to face him.
"Do you love her?" he asked.
The question was out of nowhere. I hadn't even thought about Emilia in that way. What does love truly entail?
I must have said part of that out loud, because he shook his head. "Love is something you know, deep in your soul. When you love someone, they take up every fiber of your being, every atom of your existence. They consume your waking thoughts and your sleepless dreams." He glanced at me. "They are engraved inside of you."
I thought about that. Growing up the way that I did, my family rarely taught me what love was, showed me the depths of it. Instead, the only emotion I evoked from my parents was resentment, and in rare cases, pride. But I was never loved. Never loved in a way that I knew what it would be like to reciprocate it, to love someone else.
"She... her initials are etched in my heart," I finally said. "Every time I look at her, I feel as if I'm drowning and afloat all at once."
He smiled at me. "Are you two dating?"
"Sort of." I winced. "It's complicated."
"Take this from someone who learned the hard way." He looked me dead in the eyes. "Love her the way she deserves, starting right now."
✦✧✦✧
Later that evening, I was grabbing another glass of champagne for Emilia when the panic started.
It began with her eyes widening as she stared at something in front of her. I followed her gaze, but there was nothing unusual there.
"Lia? Are you alright?" I set down the fluke and grabbed both of her shoulders, turning her to face me. "What's wrong?"
She began shaking violently, her breaths coming lighter, faster. "Emilia!"
She suddenly ripped away from me and ran toward the bathroom. Without hesitation, I followed, earning concerned glasses from other attendees. However, I paid them no mind: my sole focus was on her.
"Emilia. Emilia!"
But she didn't answer as she went into the small, dimly-lit corridor that led to the bathroom. However, she didn't even continue into the doors that led to the restroom. Instead, she leaned against the wall, clutching her head in her hands.
"Lia. Hey, what's wrong?" I walked over to her, placing my hands on hers.
"The- he-" she hiccupped through panting breaths. "Cigarette-"
I pulled her into a hug, knowing she needed it. Despite not knowing why, I realized that seeing someone smoking may have triggered this. "Hey, it's alright," I soothed, caressing her hair. "It's okay now."
I held her to my chest until her breathing turned normal.
I wished, in that moment, that I could have held her forever.
After some time, she pulled away, looking up to meet my eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Never apologize. Not for that."
She chewed on her bottom lip. "I owe you an explanation."
"You don't owe me anything," I countered with a raised brow.
She sighed. "I want to explain-"
"Tonight," I interrupted. "Tonight, tell me everything."
"Tonight?" She lifted a skeptical brow. "What happening tonight?"
"You'll see," I replied with a wink.
hi everyone!!
sorry this chapter is short, but it is honestly the best I can do with my finals these past few and upcoming weeks. i hope you enjoyed the extra bits of information (archer's name!!) and the cameo <3
have an amazing rest of your night/day and i can wait to see you at the end of chapter 34!