Its 3 am. I wake up to a sound of a glass breaking.
"Papa, are you there?", I shout, frightened.
There's no answer from the other side. Finally I decide to get up and check.
As I walk outside, I experience my biggest nightmare. My father is lying on the floor and a glass is broken beside him.
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT. I'M EXTREMELY SCARED. I QUICKLY RUN FOR MY PHONE AND CALL THE AMBULANCE. MEANWHILE I TRY TO POUR WATER ON HIM TO TRY TO WAKE HIM UP BUT THERE'S NO USE.
It could be a cardiac arrest. The doctor has said last time that the possibility of one is very high. I'm tensed. I don't know what to do in such a situation. My heart starts racing. Its so silent in the house that I can hear my own heartbeat.
I hear the ambulances arrive outside my house. The medical support team arrives with a stretcher and carries my father on it. We enter the ambulance and drive to the hospital. I hold his palm in my hand firmly . Its cold while mine is sweating. They take him to the ICU and I wait outside. I keep walking across the corridor as thoughts race in my mind. I just know if something happens to him now then I'll never be able to forgive myself. I pace down the corridor while checking my watch every second. After 1 hour, the doctor finally comes out.
"You are Miss Riya right?"
"Yes, Doc"
"You father is better now. But he did have a minor cardiac arrest and it could have been fatal. Its prolly due to some stress or trauma. Please make sure to not let him get stressed again. Otherwise maybe we won't be able to save him again"
"Ok...doctor. Can I meet him?"
"He is resting now. Please visit him tomorrow Also please go to the reception for the required payments because we need to perform an open heart surgery as soon as possible as he needs a pacemaker or else the probability for another heart failure will increase greatly . We need to keep him under surveillance for a few more days"
I immediately head for the reception. On seeing the payment sheet, I realize that we don't have the amount of money that needs to be paid. I go home and check the statement of our savings account. After joining the money in all the savings account I realise that we have the exact amount of money required for the surgery. Spending on the surgery would mean we would be left with nothing except our property. But I can't think about all that now. I know I'll manage something in the future even if it means working 2 small jobs. I spend the entire night calculating the money in our bank accounts and finally writing a cheque.
At 8 am, I quickly head to the hospital. On reaching the reception, the receptionist checks the payment status and informs me that it has been already paid.
"Wait what? But I didn't pay anything yet"
"Ma'am, it was an online transaction from... someone named Anika Mehra"
What?!! Why did she make this payment ? Is she just trying to be kind? Cause I know that she definitely doesn't care about me. I don't wanna accept this payment from her. I don't wanna feel like I owe her something. I guess I'll have to talk to her today and return her money for now she isn't my main concern. I run to the room my father was in. He slowly opens his eyes as I enter the room. I sit beside his bed crying and hug him tightly. He caresses my hair and tries to comfort me.
"I'm sorry papa. I'll do whatever you want. All this happened because of me. I was so scared", I break down crying .
"It's ok Riya, its not your fault. I'm happy you were honest with me. Please don't hesitate while telling me anything. I'm sorry about how I reacted yesterday. I stayed up till 3 am and was researching about this. I found a lot of other people like you. It was shocking to me as everything was new. I even saw many celebrities who are a part of the community. I used to think this is a mental disorder. Now my views have changed. I want the best for you. I want to see you happy. I was scared about the society. But I realised that if you are happy then everything else doesnt matter. If your mom was here today , maybe she would have understood earlier and she would never ask you to marry someone who forced himself upon you. I'm so sorry for being such a coward and not being able to fulfill my duty as a father. I should be the one saying sorry".
For the first time, I saw tears in his eyes. It made me cry more. But my lips curled up in a smile.
"You are the best papa. Please don't be sorry about anything"
"I'm sorry I couldnt be a person who you could trust. I'm sorry you couldnt tell me all this earlier."
"Papa, please don't cry anymore. Its not good for your health. I love you so much. Thank you for understanding".
"Anyways, Riya, you said you love Anika?"
"Yes..."
"I want to meet her once then"
I lower my gaze. I don't know whether she will ever come back.
"Papa, first I want you to get better then I'll talk to Anika about meeting you, ok?"
"Ok"
I walk out of the room. I don't know how to break the news to him yet because I still have hopes of her coming back. But first, I need to return her money because I won't take any favours from her after everything. I won't let her exploit my self respect too. Maybe after that, I'll sign the resignation letter and look for other jobs.