"I would like to quit writing. For many years, I have dedicated myself to giving life to people without realizing I have already forgotten mine. The very thing that kept me alive before had died, and I just want to live again. I want to live again. For now, goodbye."
REREADING her novel had been her hobby every time she wanted to pass some time. Nasa loob sila ng teatro habang naghihintay na mag-umpisa ang performance ng kaniyang pinsan, si Jasia.
"Grabe, punong-puno pa rin ang theater," ani niya.
"Of course, Mommy. It's her retirement performance, after all," sagot naman ng kaniyang katabing may suot-suot na pink ribbon sa buhok. Pinagmasdan niya ito habang nilalakbay nito ang tingin sa bawat sulok ng teatro—ang iba ay abala pang hanapin ang mga seat at ang iba naman ay nagse-settle pa lang.
Napunta ang tingin nito sa kanan kaya napasilip din siya. Isang bata ang naglalakad sa hagdan habang may hawak na inumin ang kamay. Bigla itong natisod dahilan para mabitiwan nito ang dala. Subalit bago pa man ito matapon sa sahig, hindi nagdalawang-isip ang kaniyang katabi na gamitin ang kakayahan.
She snapped her fingers to release some black dusts and let it rescue the milk drink. Like a servant, the dusts delivered the milk on her palm quick without allowing anyone nor the kid to notice.
"Are you okay?" tawag nito sa bata.
Inangat ng bata ang tingin at saka tumayo.
Inabot naman ng bata ang milk drink. Mahina ang boses nitong nagpasalamat bago kumaripas ng takbo paalis.
Ngiting-ngiti ibinalik ng katabi ang tingin sa entablado, proud na proud sa sariling ginawa. Subalit siya ay napasimangot at kaagad na kinurot ang tagiliran nito.
Napaigtad si Imris sa kaniyang ginawa. "Ouch naman, Mommy!"
"I told you not to flaunt your power," bulong niya habang nanlilisik ang mga mata.
"I'm not flaunting it. I just helped the kid," saad nito habang hinihimas ang tagiliran na kinurot. "Nobody saw it, anyway. They're all busy."
"Kahit na. Be careful, okay?"
"Fine," nakasimangot nitong sagot.
Imris had inherited Xibel's ability when she turned five. Even she was surprised. Based from her writing, the coriar can only be inherited by ingesting them. However, its form is highly toxic to the human body, unless the power was turned into something different before ingesting them.
She once asked Imris about it and found out that he had feed her fruits made out of his coriar. That led Imris to have her own.
She couldn't understand why the system had let her have the power and didn't erase them. Some of the logic from her story had remained in Imris, as well as, the memories.
It had been fifteen years since Xibel left. And she could remember vividly how Imris cried the next day because she couldn't find her father anymore.
Imris didn't forget about Xibel.
The connection they had might have led Imris to have the system's privileged too.
"Mommy, hindi ka na ba talaga magsusulat ulit?" Pinatong nito ang siko sa kamay ng upuan at nakapangalumbabang tiningnan siya. "Why don't you give Papa his own story? You turned him back to a saint again, right? Give him and Celestialiana another chance."
Napataas naman ang kaniyang kilay. "Do you really want that to happen?"
She pouted. "Well, I still prefer Mama over her, but if that makes Papa happy then it's fine for me." She then sighed. "I miss Papa so much. He could have leave Elia to me. Why did he bring it back too?"
Bigla nitong pinagsaklop ang dalawang kamay at pumikit kaya nagtaka siya.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm praying. I hope the system will be in trouble again and send Papa back here."
Natawa naman siya. "Oh, tapos kapag sinunod ko gusto mo, magrereklamo na naman iyon sa akin kung bakit may panibago na naman siyang hihintaying update kaya huwag na lang."
"So, you're not really going to write again?"
"No, Imris. Ang tagal na rin no'ng tumigil ako." Matapos niyang tapusin ang The Reincarnated Actress, nagpaalam siya sa kaniyang mga mambabasa. Nais niya munang unahin ang sarili at ang kaniyang anak.
She wanted to get better for her. She wanted to get over her overbearing and unheard past. She wanted to be like before—someone who likes to wear dresses.
It had been years already, however, she couldn't fully say she had forgotten about it. It was still there; the disgusting wound of her past was still sufficing from time to time, making her feel worse. Nevertheless, she had improved through those years. She could now smile a genuine one and look at people without any anxiety.
She had become better.
She was now living.
"Mama is here na!" Imris shrieked, making her look at the stage.
The performance had started.
Isang ngiti ang sumilay sa kaniyang mga labi habang pinapanood ang pinsan niyang wala pa ring kupas ang kagalingan pagdating sa ballet. The grace as she glided through the stage never aged, but only her time. She was still as smooth as her prime, and as beautiful as she met Xibel.
Nilingon niya ang kaniyang katabi na ginagaya ang galaw ng mga kamay ni Jasia. Imris took ballet too. And she would be performing a rehearsal tomorrow.
Her teacher? Of course, it was none other than the one performing on stage.
The performance ended, and they waited for another hour before Jasia could escape the crowd. Nanatili lang sila sa kanilang seat hanggang si Jasia na mismo ang lumapit.
"Pasensya na, ngayon lang," ani nito. Nakapagbihis na rin ito.
"Mama!" Kaagad na lumapit si Imris at binigyan ito ng isang mahigpit na yakap.
"Sure ka na ba talaga sa desisyon mo?" Tumayo na siya sa pagkakaupo. "Baka kinabukasan bigla kang ngumawa sa akin dahil nami-miss mo na ang ballet."
Bahagya naman itong natawa. "I think I have already spent my time well in the industry. For sure, mami-miss ko pero hindi ako ngangawa sa 'yo!"
"For sure nga 'yan . . ." she mumbled as she watched Jasia open her purse to find a mirror. She fixed her already fixed hair to make sure that everything is perfect before she leave for a date.
Pinagkrus niya ang mga braso at mapanuksong tiningnan ito. "Tama na 'yan, Jas. Sa sobra mong perfect baka takbuhan ka na ng fiance mo."
Napatawa si Imris habang si Jasia naman ay pinukol siya ng masasamang tingin.
Sa kanilang tatlo, si Jasia lamang ang hindi nakakaalala kay Xibel.
Kahit ilang beses nilang sabihin ang tungkol dito, palaging hindi nito naririnig. At kung hindi naman, iba ang nasa memorya nito. Kahit ipakita pa ni Imris ang kapangyarihan, iba ang nakasulat sa isipan ng babae.
Jasia only knew Xibel in a story.
Hanggang sa makakita na nga si Jasia ng lalaking iibigin, hindi pa rin nito maalala si Xibel kaya napagpasiyahan na lang nilang tumigil.
"I just fixed my hair!" reklamo nito. "Baka biglang malaglag sa pagkain habang nagfo-food testing kami kaya dapat fixed talaga 'to!"
"You just want to look extra, extra pretty for him, Mama," tukso rin ni Imris at bahagya pang sinundot ang tagiliran nito.
Ikakasal na si Jasia sa susunod na buwan kaya abala ito sa lahat ng dapat asikasuhin. Ito rin ang isa sa rason kung bakit pinili na nitong magretero. Nais nitong mamuhay nang tahimik kasama ang asawa.
"Xibel will be happy for you, Jas."
"That again?" Jasia chuckled.
Sabay na napunta ang tingin nilang tatlo sa lalaking dumating na may hawak na bouquet. Itim na itim ang buhok nito kagaya ng mga mata. Ang suot nitong tuxedo ang lalong nakapagpalakas sa aura ng lalaki.
Kaagad na sumilay ang ngiti ni Jasia at nilapitan ito.
"Nako, Imris, time na yata nating mag-exit. Nandito na si lover boy," bulong niya kay Imris pero hindi naman naging bulong dahil pinasadya niya talagang marinig ito ng lalaki.
Tumawa naman ito. Tinaas nito ang isang kamay upang sumalado bilang pagbati. He was a playful man and easy to get along with, so it was not hard for them to be close to him.
"Ingatan mo 'yang pinsan ko, ha? Or else isu-summon ko talaga greatest entity ko sa libro," pabiro niyang sabi.
"Hindi ba kayo sasabay sa amin?" tanong ni Jasia.
"Nope, Mama. Mommy brought her car. Saka baka makasira pa kami sa moment niyo." Imris grinned before encircling her arms around her.
"The best ka talaga, Imris. Apir nga!" ani ng lalaki at nakipag-high five pa sa anak niya.
Jasia just chuckled. "Okay then."
Nagpaalam na ang dalawa kaya sila na lang dalawa ni Imris ang natira. Lumabas na rin sila at nagtungo sa kanilang sasakyan para umuwi.
Nang makarating, lalabas na sana siya pero napansin niyang nakatitig lang si Imris sa bintana, ang atensyon nito ay nasa kanilang bahay—ang mansiyon na ginawa ni Xibel.
"Mommy."
"Bakit?"
"I wish I could remember Papa's face," malungkot ang tono ng boses nito. "Uncle Arator and Uncle Stone too."
Imris was too young back then. In her memory, they were now but blurry important figures in her life.
She patted her head. "It's okay. At least you can still remember them."
Tuluyan na silang lumabas. Naunang maglakad papasok si Imris. Handa na rin siyang humakbang papasok nang bigla siyang mapatigil.
Napunta ang tingin niya sa kaniyang kamay.
It was only a second when a purple thread appeared, then disappeared once again.
Namamalikta lang ba siya?
Lumingon siya sa kaniyang likuran upang pagmasdan ang tahimik na daan. Sinulyapan niya ang kaniyang kamay subalit hindi na niya muling nasilayan pa ang nakita kanina.
"Mommy? Is there a problem?" tawag ni Imris sa kaniya.
"W-wala naman."
Baka namamalikta nga lang siya.
Tuluyan na siyang pumasok sa loob. Naabutan niya si Imris na nakahiga sa sofa na palaging inuupuan ni Xibel. Ang sofa na gawa sa mga buto.
She thought she wouldn't be able to raise Imris well. Buti na lang ay kasama niya si Jasia kaya kahit papaano, dahan-dahan niyang natutunan kung paano mag-alaga ng isang bata.
Now, Imris is no longer a child.
And if there was any way to reach Xibel and talk to him again, she would like to say that Imris is doing well.
She hoped that, at least, she could reach that message to him.
The end.