"Are you going to be all right here?"
I held onto her hand, she had her arms wrapped around my neck, her body pressed against me from behind.
Hearing her soft laugh, I turned around where she gave me a soft, tender smile.
Y/N - I'll be okay.
Suzy - I'm sorry I'm working late again. Do you hate me for it?
Holding her waist with my hands, I softly laughed with her responding back with a confused laugh of her own
Y/N - of course not Suze, I would never hate you for anything
Suzy - you sure?
Y/N - I'm sure.
Suzy - what if I leave?
Y/N - what do you mean?
By now, she had moved onto my lap, where she sat.
Suzy - what if one day, you wake up and I'm gone? Maybe I leave behind a note, maybe I don't.
I think to myself for a second, shortly coming up with an answer.
Y/N - I'd be hurt either way, note or not. But if you left, you must've had a good reason to do so.
She looks at me, her expression a bit hurt from my answer but she understands it nonetheless.
Suzy - I wouldn't leave you
Y/N - I know.
Giving her a big smile, she leans in. Giving me one of her favourite things to do to me. A nice kiss.
She pulls away from me, getting off and then standing on the bed while I laid my hands behind my head, watching her from the headrest of our bed
I watched her put on the rest of her clothes for today, eagerly watching with both curiosity and maybe a little bit of, well.
I'll answer that next time.
She smiles at me, but I then focus my eyes outside the windows, hearing the birds chirp good morning to us.
Suzy - don't you have work today?
Y/N - I'm not coming in, too lazy to do anything.
Suzy - come on, it ain't gonna be just me working my ass off to pay for this place
Y/N - I'm paying for this place excuse you
She walks up to me, playfully jumping onto the bed before giving me another kiss.
Suzy - and guess who's been helping out too?
I roll my eyes while laughing before I lean in myself and gave her another smooch
Y/N - you......
Suzy - you what?
Y/N - you, Mami
Giving me a peck on the cheek, she gets off and grabs her bag off the chair that sat on the corner of the room where my desk was
Suzy - god, maybe you should really call me that instead, really gets me on
She slaps her own ass, making me softly laugh.
Y/N - nope
Suzy - don't miss me too much okay?
She pokes her head out of the doorway of the bedroom where I put my hands behind my neck.
YN - I never do anyways
We share a glance to each other, the both of us sharing smiles as she suddenly blows me a kiss
Suzy - I love you, my sweet man.
Y/N - I love you too Suze.
She waves me goodbye, I give one back to her as she closes the bedroom door.
Y/N - anddddd she's gone
I sigh, a little more annoyed that she was gone now. Which made me put my hands to my face.
Not because I needed her to cook breakfast, or that I could've used her for something. But it was because I miss her.
And it's no secret that, well. I've come to terms with it all.
I sigh once more, looking around the room
Y/N - pfffft, I'm bored.
It was weird, I felt bored for once. I didn't want to get up, go make breakfast and shit, or even read one of my books.
I turn around in my bed, draping the blanket over me
Y/N - yeah fuck this
Closing my eyes, I made myself comfy and dozed off.
—--------
Unknownst to the time, I had felt my lips turn dry.
My eyes are sandy, and my hands dry. Getting up from where I slept in my bed, hearing the sounds of cracking bones like a car misfiring. I walked out of my room where I caught a glance of my clock
"Hm. it's only 12pm in the afternoon"
A bit naked though my underwear had covered me and a loose t-shirt, I sat on my bar stool that rested behind the island where I rubbed my eyes to wake myself up a bit more.
Looking at the island, through the plates and such that had food on them. I had brought one closer to me to look at it
Y/N - she left a note, huh.
"Made this for you, noticed you fell asleep after I came back to the place after forgetting my mascara, eat well okay? I'll be home late again, and don't worry. You're the only man I'd let me touch me all around"
I scoffed with a soft smile, a bit happy over how eccentric she's become. It was quite the shift in personality wise to still get used to but again, I asked for this and so did she and in doing so, it made her become the person she would rather be around me. I will not take that for granted.
Picking up the plate and getting off the stool, I heated it up in the microwave and had my breakfast on the couch where I silently ate.
Many things ran through my mind, unsure on what to do today and also if I had anything due that was important for work reasons.
Grabbing my satchel from my bedroom, pushing my plate away for a second to look through papers that hopefully I had graded last night.
I wish I remembered that I probably did, but I blame my tiredness that crept up on me the entire day till I fell into Suze's arms last night.
"Graded"
I repeated that in my head while skimming through them, taking a sigh every time a piece of paper would slither in between my hands.
Eventually, I had reached the end and everything was done. Guess, I did finish everything last night.
Instead of putting my papers away, I had opted to continue eating.
Putting my feet up and laying back on the couch while the heels of my feet sat on the table top, not on the papers of course, but beside it while I ate.
Y/N - man. There it is again.
Being plagued with thoughts of what it would be like if Suze was my wife became a frequent occurrence in my head. I mean, it ain't bad to do so. But again, what am I hoping for at the end of the road for the both of us?
When it reaches a point where we have to decide what's better, or what's good for us?
I'm still a bit anxious about that part, though. I shouldn't worry about that right now.
I shook my head, got rid of those thoughts and continued my way through silently eating my meal.
After a short while, I finished up and cleaned my plate and put it away while also simultaneously putting away my satchels with the student's already graded papers inside of it. When suddenly, I get a knock on my door.
I turned my head around to it, setting my satchel on the coffee table.
Y/N - who could that be right now?
I scratch my head, knowing that it's a weekday. I don't think it's one of the girls since they should be working, last I know. They were working on something brand new or something like that.
Walking into my bedroom, I dressed myself up quickly in a flash before walking to the front door.
Taking a deep breath and opening it, I was confused at first.
Looking left and right for the culprit until I heard someone clear their throat.
I look down to see Nat crossing her arms.
Y/N - oh, hey Nat. Good afternoon.
She uncrosses her arms before rolling her eyes and then giving me a hug which I did not quite expect.
I wrap my arms around her, giving it back to her with a confused face.
Nat - morning Y/N, didn't know you would be home. I thought I would take a chance.
We pulled each other off eventually as I put my hand on her shoulder
Y/N - why are you home too? Don't you have something busy going on right?
Nat - We do. But, today's not my day for recording. Though I have to come in later for a shooting with a sponsor.
Y/N - oh, right.
Standing to the side, I let her in as I closed the door behind her where I cleared my throat in case, watching her walk to the couch and sitting on it.
Nat - what are you standing there for?
I wasn't so sure on why I was feeling so awkward, but I just nodded and sat beside her without any question
Y/N - sorry, I'm just a bit out of it.
Nat - it's alright.
She eventually shifted herself a bit closer to me, putting her head on my shoulder.
Y/N - hm? What's up Nat?
I put my arm around her like I always do whenever she needed me, you know. In kind gesture.
She sighs softly, not saying anything for a bit until she eventually speaks up eventually.
Nat - nothing, just tired.
Y/N - is it the dancing? Or?
Nat - that and all the busy stuff in our lives. I wish I could be you sometimes
Ouch, sounds indirectly harsh, considering I live a boring life.
Y/N - touch, that seems a bit far of a want don't you think?
Her head turns to me, looking at me with her eyes of tired hopelessness.
Nat - yeah, but you're so laid back, not always stressing about keeping up appearances.
I nod in agreement, somewhat believing it.
Y/N - I worry about appearances though.
Sighing, with her head now on my chest
Nat - you're a teacher though, you can come in anything and they won't care
Y/N - I think you're mixing something up here
Nat - am I?
Y/N - we do have to address for the occasion, It's not like I'm gonna come in jammies or whatnot
Nat - you're right, I'm sorry- just- being busy takes me out of it
Y/N - I understand, came home late last night. Changed and just fell onto the bed
Nat - beside Suzy-unnie?
I click my tongue, looking up at the ceiling with a small smile
Y/N - yeah but, again. It's just work after all
Nat - you and Suzy-unnie or?
Y/N - no like my actual work, me and Suzy are fine
Nat - I beg to differ.
Y/N - excuse me?
Nat - no, I'm just curious, are you sure you guys are not like downplaying this for like taxes or?
Y/N - no of course not! She doesn't even want people to know about us or the fact she knows you guys
Nat nods in agreement, before getting closer to me. Shifting herself with her butt, scooching closer.
Nat - it's still weird you know her, I keep forgetting that it's her when I take out the bin sometimes. She waves at me good morning when she leaves for work too, obviously I wave back but she always has a smile on her face every time.
Y/N - huh, really?
Nat - mmhm, you're acting like this is the first time you're hearing about it
Y/N - I'm not, just. Considering everything with what's been going on lately, all of the work, the schedules and shit. You know how busy she can be, right?
Nat - of course, she's way bigger than we are and in good ways. I do notice she comes home late sometimes, we do catch each other on the way inside.
Y/N - does she have a smile on her face as well too at night when you see her?
Nat - sometimes, but the other times, you could tell she's exhausted. She's always happy to see you.
Y/N - I guess? I don't know why and how but I guess it's with the fact that we mean something to each other now, if I had to put it simply.
She sighs after I had finished talking, the air in the room had gone quiet and I could tell why.
For about a short while of a few minutes, it was just quiet.
I didn't want to look at her since I just looked at the wall until she probably pulled me out of it.
Nat - Y/N?
Shaking my head awake, I finally turn to face her where she had a soft gaze
Y/N - hm?
Nat - so, you and Suzy-unnie.
Y/N - yeah?
Nat - are you guys a thing now? Are you guys dat- dating?
Y/N - no.
I said it instantly, sounds suspicious but maybe because I was ready to hear that question when she caught my attention again.
Nat - t- that was quick. Are you sure you're not lying to me?
I shook my head in agreement.
She clicked her tongue, letting go of me and crossing her arms
Nat - huh.
Y/N - Don't expect anything, we're a thing whereas we just live together, get it through your head
Nat - don't get all mean and shit on me, I was just wondering
Y/N - sorry.
Nat - nah, I'm just messing with ya
She nudges me, making me sigh too as she suddenly got up
Nat - can we go out?
Y/N - what why?
Acting a bit annoyed since I didn't really want to go out at all, she put her hands behind her back, smiling at me with such intent to persuade me
Nat - please?
Y/N - Nat, I don't want to go out
Nat - come on Y/N, they're all busy and Suzy–unnie isn't home. What would we do here? Fuck or something?
I look at her, her face immediately turning red after she said that
Nat - s- shit- sorry.
Looking away with another sigh escaping, I stood up while she zoned out onto the coffee table
Y/N - fine, we'll go out. You girls are really getting into your heads
I patted her shoulder, causing her to get out of it.
Turning around and walking into my room, I had closed the door so I could change into my outdoor clothes.
After a short while, I came out to her waiting on my couch.
Nat - can I change into one of your t-shirts?
Y/N - hm? How come?
I analysed her outfit, it's casual to say the least in her own way but I was still unsure on why she would need to change
Nat - I feel sweaty.
Y/N - really? Because you feel sweaty?
Nat - hey come on and help a girl out, it's not like we already don't share shit
Y/N - we don't though?
Nat - I guess, comfort?
Y/N - nice try. You look fine as it is, why need to change?
Nat - because I FEEL sweaty Y/N, is that too much?
Y/N - ah fine, just go in my room and pick out something
She gets up to the couch, skipping past me where she goes into my room, looking through my dresser and closet
Y/N - close the door would you?
Nat - nope, I'm pretty sure my tits have been against your back at one point, it's not like you haven't seen them before
Y/N - you girls are really getting weirdly touchy, I didn't want to have to say it but what's going on with you?
Nat - nothing.
She takes off her t-shirt, I look away from the doorway, covering my eyes with my hand with a disappointed pat down.
Nat - can't we not get more closer to you?
Y/N - I don't think changing in front of me is getting closer.
Nat - but you let Julie-unnie and Belle kiss you, is that not close enough?
What?
How does she know?
I let go of my hands, immediately opening my eyes, already in my t-shirt in front of me.
Looking down at her with now, a assertive gaze
Y/N - say that again Nat?
She sighs, shrugging while she said it
Nat - you kissed Julie-unnie and Belle before, why can't I not get closer with you?
Y/N - how, do you know.
Nat - easy, I saw you kiss Belle, both times. You think I sleep early?
Y/N - yeah?
Nat - And Julie-unnie too. You really think you're slick huh?
Y/N - seems so.
Nat - I can tell you're a little bit pissed, why would you be?
Looking away, unsure of what to say to her right now
Nat - look at me Y/N, why would you be pissed at me huh? Am I not like Belle? Julie-unnie? Suzy-unnie?
Y/N - I don't wanna argue about this Nat-
Nat - we're not arguing Y/N. Do you not look at me the same way as them? What about me? Do I not get a chance either?
Y/N - you will, I just-
Nat - I will? Y/N come on, I didn't take you to be a liar
Y/N - I'm not lying!
Nat - I know what they did to you. They told me.
I look at her, finally looking at her where she slowly brings her hand up to my face
Nat - I knew all along Y/N, I'm sort of. Tired. Of waiting for you to accept me.
Her soft palm, caressing my cheek with a feel of comfort from it
Y/N - I- I-
Nat - I know. You're too busy juggling your life right now to do anything, I know that too. Look, I'll save us the special moments next time, if there will be one.
Ouch.
I mean, I always knew Nat was one hell of a girl but I didn't know she was just as honest as Suzy to herself and to other people including me
Y/N - Nat- I-
Nat - save it. Atleast I got the easy part out of the way. Don't stress about it too hard alright?
Y/N - I- I won't.
She leans in, kissing me on the cheek before letting go of me
Nat - thanks for the t-shirt. Come on, let's go out.
I nod, letting her let go of me where she walks over towards the front door.
Watching her walk away from me, seemed like something I would've expected.
Not in the context right now, but, seeing how it was right there and then.
I envisioned all of them just taking a step back, or even further from me.
Makes me, quite scared.
Nat - you coming?
Looking at her, she still had a smile on her face that still made her, her.
Y/N - yeah. I'm just gonna grab my wallet, but Nat?
Nat - yeah?
Y/N - I'm sorry, I had considered you too, but I don't want you guys considering that I'm leading you all on. I'm not.
Nat - I know, we're not either towards you. Well, the three of us. Haneul still doesn't know.
Y/N - hm.
Nat - Y/N, don't think too hard about it, really. You needed to hear it from me at one point and now you have.
Y/N - I know. I just didn't know it would have to be now.
Nat - well, I got a bit jealous.
Huh.
(continued next chapter)