Nila frowned when her phone buzzed repeatedly. She could feel the vibrations through her bag as she tried to ignore it and focus on what her professor was talking about. But the buzzing was relentless. Who was this desperate to reach her in the middle of the day? For a second, she wondered if it could be Vijay. But he knew she would be in class and usually kept from texting her during the hours.
The professor's words did not register in her mind. She wished she was in the back row so she could at least sneak in a peek at her phone to find out who it was. She sat restlessly, her hand on her phone, trying to bide her time patiently.
As soon as the professor stepped out, she pulled out her phone.
It was Vijay.
Nila
Nila
N
I
L
A
you there?
text me ASAP or call me
wanna talk to you
important
Worry washed over Nila like an icy tide. Did something happen to him? He had looked completely fine when she'd talked to him this morning. Her heart thumped. She walked out of the classroom and called him immediately. Maya, Sanjay and Lilly glanced up at her with concerned faces but she didn't stop to answer them.
"Vijay?"
"Nila! I'm so glad you called. I thought you might not since I know you were in class but still I—"
"Are you hurt? Is everything okay? Did something happen?" She shot question after question.
A scary pause followed from Vijay's side. "Fuck. I didn't think you'd be worried. But I should have thought about it. I'm so sorry, Nila. I didn't think how the texts would seem to you. I just texted you to ask you if you'd come with us to the mall."
A mix of relief and annoyance replaced her worry. She sagged against the cool wall. "I thought something happened to you!" she scolded him. "I can't believe I got so worried. You idiot!"
Vijay didn't laugh like she expected him to. And thank god because if he had, Nila would have never forgiven him. "Are you mad?"
"Yes, what do you expect?"
"I'm sorry, Nila. Farah decided that she wanted to bunk class and go shopping for her fiance. I don't know how but she even convinced Krish to cancel his private tuition sessions and join her. She was also saying that she wanted to meet you since Krish likes to talk about you all the time and piss her off because she is the only one who is out of the loop. I made a harmless comment about how it would be nice if you'd join as well. And Farah latched onto it and pestered me to text you. I told her you don't like to miss classes but she still insisted I ask you. It's completely okay if you don't —"
"Okay."
"What?"
Usually, Nila wouldn't have done it. Sanjay had failed numerous times when he tried to get her to bunk classes. She only bunked classes if she wanted to, not on others' behalf. But nothing about Nila was the same since Vijay walked into her life. She might as well go with what her heart wanted. "I'll join you all."
"Are you serious?" She could feel his sudden enthusiasm seep through the phone, making her lower her head and smile.
"Yeah, when are you guys leaving?"
"We can pick you up. Farah has a car," he said. "Just come to the main gate of your college in ten minutes. We'll be there."
"Okay."
"Nila?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you really want to do this?" Vijay asked. But his voice was laced with desperate hopes that she'd say yes and nothing else.
Nila tucked in a smile. "I have a double hour class on the most boring subject. I hate the professor too. So trust me, you are doing me a favour."
"I'll see you, then." With that, he hung up. Only later, she realised they had called each other over the phone for the first time. It had been restricted to texts all this while. It seemed like a step ahead on the ladder.
"Ew, look at your face," Sanjay cooed, leaning against the doorway. "So in love."
She smacked him.
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Farah was the most beautiful woman Nila had ever seen. She was blown away when she saw her — fair skin shimmered golden under the sunlight and the faint blush on her cheeks darkened, adding a pop of colour. She wore a pale pink scarf around her head that rested around her shoulders, matching her printed cotton kurta paired with jeans. Farah looked at her from the driver's seat when she got in the backseat next to Vijay. "Hi, I'm Farah. You are so—"
"Beautiful," Nila said.
Farah's eyes crinkled. "I was about to say the same thing. I'm glad you could join us. I've heard so much about you but Vijay wasn't making any attempts to introduce us. So, I took it upon myself."
"Thanks for inviting me," she said. Even though she only received warm smiles, the attention made her unconsciously inch towards Vijay. "Hey, Krish."
Krish grinned. "Hey. Nila called me fun, guys," he bragged, making Farah roll her eyes as she spun the wheel effortlessly to take a left turn.
Nila didn't realise she was sitting at the edge of the seat until Vijay grabbed her arm. She didn't even look at him properly until he demanded attention. She had gotten so carried away. "Plans to launch yourself through the window when Farah presses the brakes?" he whispered.
Nila scowled and leaned back so her back hit the warm leather of the seat. She had sat with Vijay in a crampier space than this, even accidentally dozed off on his shoulders (the worst part being not remembering the feeling) but this was different. Krish and Farah were making her conscious and hyper-aware of the distance between Vijay and her. She didn't know what Vijay had told them about her but she didn't want to convey something false. "Is something wrong, silver?"
"Silver?" Nila narrowed her eyes.
"You woke up from your nap only when I called you silver. Figured you like it," he shrugged.
"I don't even remember it!"
"What don't you remember?" Krish asked.
"Nothing," Vijay quickly dismissed him.
When they were in the mall, Krish and Vijay kept bullying Farah into making promises that they'd be there for no more than two hours. "I can't believe I'm shopping for Aadil. I would have been excited if it was Ahmed," Krish said. "It's not too late, you know."
"I don't trust your opinion. I'll ask Nila. Aadil is a nice name, isn't it?" she asked.
"Um, yes, it's very nice," she said.
"End of conversation." Farah entered a store, asking for directions to the men's section. All of them followed. It was funny to watch how Krish and Vijay kept poking fun at her and trying to get a reaction out of her but Farah seemed like she had better things to do than entertain these men. The only time she listened to them was when she asked for their opinions when she picked out shirts.
Krish halted at a book shop on the way to the next store. Nila had flashbacks to when Maya had done the same. He had a similar hungry look as he stayed transfixed. Vijay grabbed his arm before he could step into it. "Don't even think about it, nerd. If you step into it, we'll leave you there. We won't spend half an hour trying to find you like last time."
"It won't take a minute. I'll just see the new releases—"
"Not a chance. You said the same thing last time," Farah said.
Nila chuckled. Krish looked up. "Don't laugh. It's not funny, Nila."
"You remind me of my friend, that's all. She is obsessed with books. Both of you will get along amazingly except she isn't a topper like you. But she holds the best conversations," she said. Krish's attention sparked up. Farah smiled because she knew the game Nila was playing at. "Maybe I'll introduce both of you and you can get lost in bookstores for however long you'd like."
Krish liked the idea. He didn't explicitly say it but it showed in the way he stepped back from the bookstore and walked forward with tight lips, as if he would accidentally betray a smile.
Vijay fell back into step with her. Nila couldn't help but feel awkward around him. She didn't know what exactly to do with her hands. Before then, she'd only seen him in the bus so they had their hands full with their bag and the handle. Now their hands were empty and sometimes when she walked too close, their hands brushed. Neither of them pulled away when it did. It seemed like both of them were hoping their fingers would take a mind of their own and twine together. But they were afraid to make a move. Nila wanted to, so badly, but she didn't have the guts. Not yet.
"How was practice?" she asked.
"Don't ask. I scraped my knees and palms," he said, opening his palm to her to show her the angry red lines on them.
She brushed a light finger on it. "Does it hurt?"
"Nah, I'm used to it. Been falling and getting back up since I was a child." He pocketed his hands quickly. "Did you have something to eat? Are you hungry?"
She looked at him sheepishly. Nila had meant to grab something from the canteen during the break but her plans had changed.
"Okay, we'll get food after Farah is done. Alright?" he asked, and the question was so tender, so considerate. She wanted to wrap her arms around him.
"Sounds good."
Farah made sure Nila felt included in their little gang. She kept tugging her to the side and shooing away the boys and preferring her opinion to theirs. Nila could notice the effort she was making and she appreciated it a lot. After an hour later, she was finally done. She had picked out a solid white shirt from an expensive brand. "His birthday is coming up. I'm putting together a party of sorts. I want to get him a lot of things, you know. Give him a hamper of personally curated gifts. What do you think?" Farah asked her.
"I think that's very thoughtful. He better feel damn lucky to have you or I swear I'll make sure he feels that way personally," Nila said in almost seriousness. "Do you love him?"
"I'm not there yet. But I can see myself falling in love with him," Farah said, her eyes suddenly softening into a pool of warm espresso.
"How did you agree to marry so early?" Nila asked, and then quickly added, "Sorry I'm asking so many questions. Since Vijay told me about you, I've been thinking about it. You don't have to answer them if you don't want to."
Farah chuckled and waved her off. "It's not a problem. I love discussing my marriage. I can't believe I'm saying it but recently, it's all I talk about. I always knew I'd be married early. That's how all the ladies in my family were raised. My only fear was not ending up with a nice person. That's why I kept rejecting so many men that my parents showed me. But with Aadil, it just felt right. I don't know how to describe it. It's just a strong feeling, like my heart leading me to him."
Nila had never heard someone talk about arranged marriage so passionately. A deep sense of admiration and respect blossomed for Farah. She felt like she could connect with her better than before. "I hope Aadil is a nice man and treats you well. I'm very serious about what I said about teaching him a lesson or two."
"Thanks. Did Vijay discuss anything about this with you?" Farah asked.
"No," she said, recalling their texts. "He mentioned that you were engaged and he was happy and sad at the same time. He feels like things will not be the same with you anymore. I assured him it will be. Friends are friends, no matter what, right?"
She agreed. "Thanks. I knew this would upset him. But I think you came into the picture at the right time."
"What do you mean?"
A teasing glint took over Farah's eyes. "Don't act dumb. I know there's something going on between you two. I can feel it. He's been a completely different person lately and it makes me so happy. So spill. At least what do you think about him?"
Nila blushed. And Farah caught it. Dammit.
"I think I got my answer but I want you to say it," she prodded, resting her face on her palms and watching her eagerly. "I promise I won't say a word to Vijay."
"Vijay... um, Vijay is a good friend. I'm so grateful for him. He makes me laugh a lot and he is very caring. It is the first time I'm experiencing something like this and I don't want this to end. I just want to hold onto him as whatever he wants me to be. I don't care if it's a friend or something more." Nila could tell she was burning red.
"Don't lie. Would you really be okay if both of you remained as friends forever?" she asked. The grin on Farah's face was getting creepy, as if she knew all the answers to the questions.
"I mean, uh, of course it would be nice to, you know, be something more," she said, almost swallowing the words. Nila couldn't believe she was saying these things aloud, especially to his best friend. "But I'll take whatever as long as I have him."
Farah threw her arm around Nila's shoulders. "I'm not marketing that idiot or anything but I've known him for four years now. And I've never seen a man so giving. He gives his maximum to everything that is important to him. He'd fight for you till the end if you mean something to him. I honestly don't know how he does it. You said you'll hold onto him. I feel like he's going to be holding onto you stronger."
Nila smiled.
"But you should also know this: Vijay talks a lot but he doesn't say the important things. He doesn't know how to communicate when it matters the most. He'll run away from difficult conversations. Don't trust his words. Trust his actions. He expresses himself better through actions," Farah said. Nila nodded and she didn't make a big deal out of it. Everyone had flaws. She had so many herself — her people-pleasing habit, her tendency to bottle up emotions until it incapacitated her emotionally and physically, her habit of lying.
She was lucky she was warned beforehand. Not everyone did.
"Do you know how expensive water bottles are? One store charged 90 bucks. Can you believe it?" Vijay said, handing Nila a bottle. "Why is Nila looking red in the face?"
She almost spat out the water.
"It's because of the heat," Farah quickly swooped in.
"But the mall is air-conditioned," Krish noted suspiciously. "What were you talking about?"
"It's because she was dehydrated."
"But when people are dehydrated, their face gets dull and loses colour. Not turn a bright pink—" Krish continued but Farah jumped in and clasped a palm over his mouth.
"You talk too much," she said, turning to flash a smile at Vijay before dragging Krish away with him in a headlock. It kinda looked funny because she was shorter than Krish and he had to bend his legs and walk.
Vijay joined her. "What happened?"
"Nothing," she said. "We were just talking about marriage and stuff. Girl things."
He fished out a bar of snickers from his pocket and gave it to her. "Don't tell Farah," he said. "She'll make a big scene."
She was touched that he remembered from their conversations that she liked Snickers. "Thanks," she said, unwrapping it. She took a bite and gave the other half to him. She expected him to act like a gentleman and refuse but to her welcomed surprise, he bit into it.
"I thought you didn't like Snickers."
He gave her a lopsided smile that wrapped around her heart like a delicious chokehold. "I like it when I share it with you."
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a/n: we are almost 25K words in. how are we feeling?