You didn't say
goodbye,
and a part of me
believes that
you're come back.
"HOW is she doing?" Price barged in the room of the infirmary, he just came back from a mission and as soon as he heard the news he rushed to the UK's base in Austria, to check on Meridia. "Bad, she won't speak or get up." Soap responded, his expression showing concern for the current situation.
A medical curtain was pulled over the corner were the bed was, her trembling figure hidden by the sheets. John let out a sigh and took off his hat, slowly approaching her position. Soap decided to give them some privacy and left the room with an understanding nod.
"Scylla."
Only her heavy panting could be heard, tears were flowing down her bruised cheeks, transforming in an hue of a violet and red. He pulled the curtain back, only her raven locks appeared as she was completely buried under the sheets.
He had no idea of what happened, he never expected such a behavior from her after a fight, the only thing he came to know. "Scylla, hey." He sat at the edge of the bed and placed a hand over her back, rubbing it gently in a soothing way. She immediately froze, "What happened? It wasn't just a fight.. right?"
She was always a mysterious woman, even years back when they were serving in the same team, she had secrets buried deep down her soul – secrets that he wanted to discover just to understand her in the right way. Over the years he had grown a soft spot for her and he made sure to never let it show too much, scared to ruin their 'friendship.'
She meant a lot to him.
"Talk to me." He whispered softly. She slowly sat up and covered her face with her hands, she was still stained with blood and dirt as she didn't let anyone get close to her. "John, I'm quitting." Her voice came out trembling, she wasn't willing to show her unrecognizable face, to show her weak self to her captain.
"There's no need to quit." He retorted, shaking his head in disapproval. "Look at me, John. I'm a fucking mess." She whispered and lowered her hands, now her ruined face exposed. She was a mess, not only physically but mentally too.
Knowing that her father was still alive, haunting her down to finish what he started, made her inner child pained.
Meridia knew she couldn't go on with such a ruined mentality, she was too frail and wouldn't focus on her duties properly. The missions were tough and required a lot of concentration and self collect, she didn't have any of these.
"I have no idea of what Arseni told you, the servers were hacked and cut off so we couldn't reach out to you and the others," He spoke and placed a finger under her chin, to make her raise her head and look at him. "But it doesn't mean that you have to quit, we still need you, Scylla. Urzikstan needs you, the whole world needs you."
She looked at him, her lips were quivering, she was about to break down again yet she didn't want to do it in front of him. She was always collected, reserved, strong, she never dared to show her true self to anyone else but her own mother.
"I'll give you some time alone, yeah? If you need anything, you can ask me or the others." He showed her a small reassuring smile before getting up to leave.
Once she was all alone, she broke down into loud and broken sobs, her hand gripping tightly the fabric of her shirt as a tight knot formed in her stomach.
*
Task Force 141 was gathered in the meeting room, around the table, silence stood over them as no one dared to speak out a word. Ghost was replaying the scene in his head, Arseni's words, Scylla's beaten up face. Meridia Wilson.
How did Arseni know her? What connections did she have with the enemy?
Price entered the room with a heavy sigh and Ghost immediately rose to his feet, storming his way to the captain. "What in the fuckin' bloody hell is going on?" He growled, getting dangerously close to him. Gaz and Soap stood up too, alarmed, and walked to Ghost, trying to calm him down.
"She's a fucking mole, isn't she? How is she related to Arseni and Makarov? Why does he know her fucking name?!"
"Lieutenant, get your shit back together." Price growled back.
"She's a complete stranger in our team, we don't know her real name, her birthday, her age, nothing about her. Guess what, turns out her real name is Meridia, how do you want to explain it? What the fuck are you hiding from us?" Ghost raised his voice, his blood boiling. He felt as if this whole situation was taken as a joke – all of this was driving him crazy.
"Meridia.. What?" John's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and Ghost scoffed. "Yeah, exactly. Meridia Wilson. Her fucking name isn't Scylla."
"LT, let's calm down first yeah? We'll
sort this out." Soap placed a hand over his shoulder, slightly pulling him away from the captain. John rubbed his forehead in frustration and walked to the desk, opening all the drawers frantically to find Meridia's records.
He asked the higher ups to send her classified records to Laswell while they were on the mission, he always knew that there was something hidden behind her and even though it wasn't fair to her, he decided to dig deeper.
He opened the file and on the first page she was there, looking completely different. Her hair was dyed in a platinum blonde, her face with a soft expression, her eyes of a beautiful blue.
Name: Meridia Wilson.
Callsign: Scylla.
Age: twenty-six (16th January, 1998, Chicago US)
Height: 5'3.
Weight: 54.5 kg.
His eyes trailed along the words inked on the papers, his heart sinking further.
Mental and physical abuse. PTSD. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. MIA in 2021. Rescued two months later from her MIA status.
A whole hell was written down on her records and he immediately understood the reason why she was always so closed to herself and the burden she was carrying on her shoulders this whole time.
Mother: Selene Smith Wilson. (deceased)
Father: Jonathan Wilson.
He shut the file close, inhaling deeply, before finally facing the team that was staring at him with confusion and curiosity. "I wouldn't recommend reading this. It's her private life, her decisions." He muttered and threw the file back in the drawer. He was going to give it back to the higher ups, he needed to respect her privacy.
"I don't want her in this team." Ghost blurted out so suddenly, all the eyes falling on him. "What if she's secretly working for Makarov? Andrei fucking knew her."
"You have a point, but I cannot send her away just like this." John protested and clenched his jaw, "Why?" Ghost folded his arms to his chest, "Do you pity her? Or is it because you like her? Don't bullshit me, Cap." Ghost scoffed and took a few steps closer to him.
"I saw it already, the way you treat her, the way you look at her." He added, fueling John's anger. No, this wasn't going to happen. Not here in front of the other team's members.
"Lieutenant Riley, stand back." John growled, inhaling deeply to calm his nerves down. "I'm not doing this." Ghost retorted, turning around and storming out of the meeting room.
There was no way he was going to stay back and keep silent, he needed to figure out this whole situation.
*
I sat in the room, staring at my bruised hands. A nurse came some minutes ago to check on me and helped me clean the mess on me, then she tended my wounds and bruises. I felt completely empty, broken, weak and alone. Arseni's word came crashing down on me heavily, reminding me of what I've been through, of my father's cruelty, of his violence and harsh words, of my mother's death. And the death I escaped that night.
I wasn't still over this, I thought I did, turns out I never went on with my life and was still stuck to my traumas. But what scared me the most was the fact that he was still alive and free, working for Arseni or even worse, Makarov.
I didn't want to face him, whenever I thought of him I felt weak and a little child, a little Meridia crying loudly in the basement while resisting to the crucial pain.
I tried so hard to erase my life and start again, to erase my true name as it always reminded me of him.
Meridia, the useless child. Meridia, the weak child. Meridia, the crybaby. Meridia, the child that needed to suffer for being weak. Meridia, the daughter he never wanted in his life.
Some knocks on the door made me turn back to reality, and I responded with a humm to grant permission. I didn't dare to look up, my eyes were fixed on my fingers picking nervously on the red nail polish.
An husky cologne filled the room and I immediately recognized him.
"Meridia." His husk sent a shiver down my spine, raising my gaze, I met his.
I nibbled my lower lip and gave Ghost a slight nod, earning nothing but just a bitter laugh. "A woman full of secrets." He added, his steps approaching my bed slowly.
I felt ashamed for always hiding in my shell, with a fake name, a fake mask to cover up my broken self. "I feel like a fool." He stated roughly, stopping at the edge of my bed, his tall figure towering over me. Yet, no word came from me.
"I'm not even going to ask how Andrei knows you." He kept on going, his intimidating voice now taking a toll on me, "Even I don't know." I murmured quietly, lowering my gaze again.
"Bullshit."
"It's the truth!"
He shot me a cold glare, his chest rose and fell slowly, "You expect me to believe you?" He retorted with another bitter laugh. He was starting to irritate me, how could he barge in here and pretend answers that I couldn't give?
"I'm your teammate, we worked togeth–"
"You're not part of us, and I wonder if you ever were. As long as you keep on acting like a stranger around us don't claim to be in the 141." His words hit me deeply like a thousand daggers. He wouldn't understand me, I knew already. There was no way I could change his mind and why did I even bother?
"You were the one getting that close to me!" I snapped at him, my tone slightly increasing. My frustration was building up and I was about to burst, "Did you expect me to open up by invading my personal space and touching me?" My hands balled into tight fists.
He scoffed and finally looked away, his eyes spoke a lot of things that he didn't dare to confess. "As far as I know I'm not the only one keeping secrets." I added, hoping to press a button in him.
"You don't know me."
"Nor do you." I retorted bitterly before standing up from the bed. I walked to him, standing so close that I could smell his strong and husky cologne.
He looked down on me, taking a step forward, "Meridia," He breathed out, slowly exhaling. "Simon." I whispered back.
His eyes were analyzing my features, falling then on my lips. He was about to say something but stopped, he only shook his head and turned away, leaving me all alone in the room.