Don’t look in his eyes; don’t look in his eyes I kept on telling myself. I was sitting on the couch watching television and Stellar was sitting in a chair from across the room next to the air conditioner. In his hand was a drink with what I thought might be blood until it realized it could actually be mine from when he drank from me the first time we’d met. That sent a chill running through me but I ignored that with pretty little liars which was having a marathon on abc. I tried to focus on the TV but was having a hard time. My thoughts about his kidnapper personality kept creeping back to me even when I told myself it was stupid to even think about it. He was not hot and he was surely not hesitant. Well, actually he was hesitant. He’d been hesitant when he was drinking my blood and saw the tears that had been running down my face. He’d seen the pain he was putting me through for his own life.
“So are we just going to sit here all day and play the quiet game?” I asked.
“If we were playing the quiet game, you should have told me” He said.
“You know what I mean” I said.
“I already told you that it’s basic today. Nothing is going on except anything you might have in mind”
“Anything I have in mind? What do you mean?”
“Well” He said as if he were going to regret his words. “I know you’ve wanted to get outside and out of this apartment…”
“Yeah? And?” If I could maybe go someplace with him, then maybe could I find a way to escape.
“Never mind. It’s a bad idea” He said.
“No, it’s not” I argued. Then I stopped trying to make my voice sound desperate because I knew he’d suspect something. “I really would like some open air”
“You’d have to promise me not to run away while in public. And elsewhere I would have to tie you to the car”
“Where would we go?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Wherever you want to. But not today”
“Then what are we supposed to do today?”
“I’ve got a few things in mind”
Of course. Why am I not surprised?
“So then what?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yes, tell me”
Ten minutes later, I was standing in his attic going through boxes of his grandparents stuff.
“This isn’t what I had in mind” I said.
“Then what did you?” He asked. He was sitting in the corner of the room still holding his drink in hand but now he watched me intently. As if I’ll escape any better up here.
I shrugged. “Maybe something more fun. I don’t know”
“Antiques aren’t fun?”
“No. They’re stupid” I pulled out a photograph of who I guessed was his grandparents.
“Are these them?” I asked holding out the picture. In a flash he’d gotten up and walked over and held the picture out before himself.
“Yes” He said. “This is them”
“And what happened? They’re not alive anymore?”
“No” He said, sounding a bit sad. “They died when my brother and I were one. They were on a cruise I think”
“Why do you have all of their stuff?” I asked.
“Because my parents died too. But not until after we graduated. My brother and I” He said.
“So then you both lived here?”
He nodded. I could understand why he would seem so different. It was because he’d lost everyone. Except me.
“I’m sorry” I said. I didn’t realize my hand was holding his arm. He seemed to notice that too. I moved back and let my arm drop to its side.
“So why are you making me do this? Are you going to ship this stuff off somewhere?”
He nodded. “My grandparents on my father’s side. They don’t know about vampires but none of this is going to give that away”
We moved the boxes downstairs and I realized he’d made me look through the stuff just to make sure that there wasn’t anything vampire. As it turns out his grandfather was vampire. I wondered then if he’d made me look through it myself only to ask about his family history. Did he want us to get to know each other? Did he like me that way?
But it didn’t really matter because there wasn’t that much stuff. There were five boxes and we shoved them into a closet near the door. Hopefully he’d remember to bring those with him when he went off to work on Monday.
“So now what?” I asked.
“Now I make lunch” He said. “Any requests?”
I shook my head.
Lunch turned out to be chicken like last night’s dinner. Did he think I had an obsession to chicken or something? Or did he just not have that much human food?
We ate in silence and he ended up eating some chicken too. He said that he liked it after breaking the silence.
“It’s raining” I said looking over at the window. It beat down against the roof and in some way it was sort of calming to me. Was that weird?
After finishing he washed the dishes and we went into his room for another hopefully not devastating surprise.
He pulled over three boxes.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Your clothes” He said. “From the magazine”
I opened them to reveal fabrics of every color. He had taken the time to get these and in that thought I reached up and hugged him. He was right. He wasn’t like the vampires who put your blood into jars and killed you. He was so much more than that. He seemed surprised I had came at him like that and hugged me back anyway.
“Thanks” I said.
He nodded.
“You know” I said. “With all of these clothes I’m not sure how I’m supposed to change into them sleeping in the living room”
“That reminds me” He said. I followed him out into the hall and into what used to be the music room. But now It had been transformed into a bedroom. For me.
“Did you do this all last night?” I asked. He nodded.
“How? Weren’t you tired?”
“I don’t sleep” He explained.
“Then why do you have a bed? Oh. Never mind”
“That’s not why I have a bed” He said blushing. Omg. He was blushing. That was almost legendary.
We pulled the boxes into my room and I asked him where he put the instruments if it wasn’t the music room anymore. As it turns out they were going to be put in the attic.
“Thanks” I said.
“Again?”
“Thanks because, I know that you’re trying to do this the best you can” As in referring to making my life as compfterble as possible in a kidnapping sort of way. But he understood that.
“Your welcome” He said. “And if there were ever another way, then, I would do that”
“Can you play me a song?” I blurted.
“What?”
I had to agree with him that had come out of the blue. But because of the music room, I had been wondering what it would be like to hear him play.
“A song. On your guitar?”
“Sure” He said. I followed him to the living room where he grabbed the guitar and sat on the couch. I sat next to him. He started to play I will follow you into the dark by Death cab for cutie. It was a strange choice considering not many people would have chosen that. Nowadays everyone was listening to something with rap in it which annoyed me immensely. But as I listened to the flow of his words I couldn’t help but drift off into a daydreaming daze.
Catholic schools
As vicious as roman rules
I got my knuckles bruised
By a lady in black
And I held my tounge
As she told me son
Fear is the heart of love
So I never went back
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs
If there’s no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I’ll follow you into the dark
After he’d finished I was taken away.
“Did you like it?” He asked.
“Yes” I said. “It was, it was amazing” I hugged him once more but hadn’t realized what a mistake it had been. Or was it?
He let go of the guitar and wrapped his arms around me. We hugged for several seconds and then departed but were still close. Too close but in some crazy wonderful way. His face was inches from my own as I kept trying to pull myself back to reality and realize that this was all far too soon especially considering the type of situation we were in. But no, neither of us wanted to let of this moment. And neither of us would.
He pressed his lips down to mine as I took in his scent and let go of everything that was holding me back in any sort of way. We kissed for only a few seconds and then ripped ourselves away. I looked in another direction while he looked elsewhere. We both seemed to be caught of guard at the moment and had to pull ourselves back into reality.
“I’m… sorry” I said. “I didn’t mean to-“
“I know” He interrupted. “Let’s just see to it it doesn’t happen again”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Are you mad that we?-“
But he got up and left the room. Was it something to do with June? Did I remind him of her? A few minutes later he returned while I’d been watching more pretty little liar’s episodes. He’d taken a shower and I could smell him from across the room.
“Hey” I said. “What happened?”
“It was too soon” He said. “It was all too… much”
“Yeah” I agreed. “It was”
And then I realized something else. What happened to wanting to escape? What happened to hating him? What happened to not giving him the satisfaction of drinking me?
“Jasmine” He said softly. “I need-“
“My blood?” I asked. “Fine. Drink from me. What is more pain going to accomplish for me anyway?”
He seemed surprised at my sudden outburst but nodded and I followed him back to the other room. I sat at the hospital looking bed and he did it quick. But this time the feeling inside me changed. Instead of pain there was an outburst of pleasure. Like the sun exploding or something. I gasped and nearly grabbed a hold of him. He let go before I could start shaking him. He seemed almost surprised that I did that and then caught a hold of me with his eyes.
“It shouldn’t have” He said. “It shouldn’t have done that”
“Well it did!” I said. “It wasn’t the same pain. It was… pleasurable”
“I realize that” He said. “But it’s supposed to only be pain for you…”
“Is that all it is for you?” I asked. “My pain is such an honor for you isn’t it?”
“It doesn’t reward me in any way” He said. “I don’t want to see you in that pain, believe me”
I got up and left the drinking room but he followed. “Don’t you believe me?” He asked.
I turned to face him. “I don’t know what I believe anymore. But you seem to have liked that”
“It’s because it’s your blood and I’m a vampire. It’s bound to happen” He said.
“As as you get stronger, I get weaker” I said.
“I’m sorry” He said. “I wish, I wish there was another way”