(please read author's note)
There is a storm going on outside and it hasn't seemed to calm down no matter how many hours have passed. It had been raining nearly all night, and as the hours of morning were closer, the rain only seemed to have gotten worse. The same could be said for the state of Hyunjin and everything around him, a stormy raging mess. All the events that have gone down in the past few hours and everything they have made him feel were all too hard to describe
and as he stands here, in front of his childhood familiarity, his best man, his right hand yelling and screaming words he knows he'll regret later, Hyunjin can't find it in him to be rational. "I don't fucking know! It's your responsibility to keep my enemies off of my back, I thought I was protecting him, I didn't know this would happen! No one has ever been able to harm me, I didn't doubt for a second you'd fail to do your goddamn job" He yells as loud as he can without losing his voice, eyes spliced with burning fury
Minho and he had been going off at each other for long enough now, fighting and arguing about how this could have gone down. Minho tried hard to keep his professionalism but as soon as everything settled down, or at least seemed to have, he went off. He could not have cared enough about losing his job because what was going on angered him to a degree he had never been angry. The minute Hyunjin entered his study, Minho was going off like a siren
asking Hyunjin how this could have come to be, how he could have been so reckless, and how tonight could have been the night Felix possibly lost his life. How they don't know just how much they've hurt Felix, how much he has had to bear all because he ill-fatedly got twisted with Hyunjin in bedsheets. Hyunjin had already been furious, and Minho was just stating all the things that were eating him alive so of course, he fought back, but it wasn't nearly as harshly as he normally would, because deep within he knew he was the one to blame
"Of course, this would have happened! You're constantly out with him, everyone and their mother knows you've got eyes for him! Do you know what happens when the lord of this fucking realm falls for someone out in the goddamn open and reveals his biggest weakness? Wars, fucking wars happen Hyunjin. And now all of this is going to ruin his life!"
Minho was right, this could potentially ruin Felix's life in more ways than he'd like to think about and it's all just crashing upon Hyunjin. He couldn't even keep up the argument, Minho rarely acted like the person he was behaving with Hyunjin and it has Hyunjin going back to the years he would hide in the shadow of this brother-like figure to conceal himself from his mistakes, has Hyunjin wishing he had been more careful.
but he doesn't back down, can't because he has always had the last words no matter how terribly wrong he was or how utterly worried he was. But as he opens his mouth, words ready to tear through Minho, the door swings open. Both the men go silent and into attack mode, ready to fight off any danger but what they find beyond their sights is worse than what they had expected. Stands there Felix with his pale face, sick eyes, and slouched stance, staring back at the men with confusion
Hyunjin's anger slips away like a moment in time as he whispers "Felix?" in sheer worry, overtaken by sudden surprise that he is rooted in his place for a second. Minho, on the other hand, is equally surprised and partially worried to see Felix present here. His gritted teeth unlatch and his flared nostrils relax alongside the crease in his brows, all that is left on his face and inside of his pretty brown eyes is worry and slight confusion
Hyunjin who was struck a little by Felix's sight, finds his consciousness falling in place just in time as he involuntarily exhales the breath that was tied in his lungs due to confusion and without any other thought, raises his rooted feet in Felix's direction, rushing to him like he knew he just needed to be there, by Felix's side. Hyunjin's quick and hasty steps echo in the room while Minho stands in his place, watching Hyunjin reach the man whose life he nearly destroyed and grab him by his arm
"What are you doing here?" Hyunjin's words are muttered softly and underneath a plank of breath but the dazed boy barely registers them. Hyunjin's chest tightens at the sight and at the lack of reaction that came from Felix. His anxious eyes flicker everywhere on Felix's face, feeling panic as he understands just how warm the latter's arm feels underneath his grip and how loose he appears with his stance
"What's...going on?" Felix's voice sounds deeper than it has ever, groggy and sick as he turns to look at Hyunjin, unable to bear the throbbing pain of his head. His eyebrows are furrowed and his fading blue hair is tousled, his clothes wrinkled and dirty with splatters of blood that seemed mere. He was in the same outfit he had been the night he opened that damned door. "Felix, kid why are you out of bed?" Minho's sweet voice sounds closer as he begins walking closer to the two, unable to hold himself back from being near Felix and confirming his safety.
To say Felix feels out of it would be an understatement, he was lost and utterly perplexed. Puzzlement was written all over his face and the way his broken thoughts were swallowing all of his senses made every cell in him bewildered with the situation. And in this storm, in this surging tide of a potentially hazardous and contemporarily cataclysmic situation, Felix finds an anchor in something--someone
Felix can't recall his face but he knows this scent, knows this touch so he leans into it subconsciously, feeling at comfort by this stranger in this bizarre scenario. He doesn't answer either of them and only stumbles in his steps as he tries to walk forward but Hyunjin has a safe grip over his arm, wrapping his other hand around his shoulders and keeping him in place "Baby, let's get you in bed again" He whispers to the barely conscious boy and tries to pick him up but the next words stop him
"Hyunjin"
Felix whispers like he's slipping away, like he's not truly here, and is attempting to latch onto something--someone. His glazed eyes look over at Hyunjin, pained and worried and the second Hyunjin sees the look in them, his knees grow weak in despair "Yes?" he can't add any appellation to that word because he feels far too sorrowed to even think straight, regret darkening his soul until all there is left is a big void. Felix at last has seemed to recognize one thing in this wide world of strangeness; Hyunjin
he doesn't know where he is, or why he's this pained, but he knows Hyunjin is with him. Everything seems to be slipping from his reach, the ground he's standing on feels like a rug being pulled by a greater force and the walls around them feel like they're caving in on him, he doesn't know how to breathe or how to calm his hammering heart and the sheer fear and helplessness it brings in the boy is unexplainable. Tears threaten to fall because that's his last resort; to cry because he doesn't know what else to do, cry so perhaps the heavens will take mercy on him
His entire body goes limp and he has no control over it, all he can think is that he needs Hyunjin to take him somewhere safe, needs Hyunjin to stay by his side so if he loses his mind he can hold him. As Felix's face contorts into something Hyunjin can't decipher, a mixture of pain and terror, he stumbles in his steps and whispers the last words; "I'm scared" before he loses all of himself in Hyunjin's arms.
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Watching Felix come undone like that was likely a recipe for nightmares that would last for at least years, but now that Hyunjin had Felix safe and sound in his own bed a little wave of relief washed over him, but that was then, then when he had carried Felix in his arms in a moment of pure panic and rush, when he didn't feel anything apart from terror, when he just felt the mere weight of a stranger in his arms and felt the numbness of his feet as he ran off to a room he knew Felix would be safe in
but now that Felix is under covers in that very room's bed, and Kim Jisoo, Hyunjin's very private but entirely too skilled doctor is with him, he feels over the edge. And it feels harmful for a man like him to be feeling so much when he rarely ever felt things, to be feeling terror of all the emotions he could be feeling yet here he was; nearly shivering out of his skin because some boy got hurt on his account and now he can't seem to cope for the life of him
It's not just unlike Hyunjin to be prancing around the vast halls of his mansion but incredibly unaccountable of him to do so. Hyunjin wasn't a fidgety guy, wasn't the type of person who felt things anything above than 'slightly' but now that he awaits Jisoo's exit through the room she was checking up on Felix in, he finds his insides shriveling
The last he remembers feeling so much is when his father passed away, when he had dropped that last rose before his father was feet below the ground. After that, Hyunjin has either been mostly numb or just completely angry. There was rarely ever an in-between these two things but tonight things seemed to have changed drastically so. Hyunjin can feel his heartbeat in his fingertips when he presses his hips against the railing of the magnificent corridors of his mansion and stares ahead at the closed door
With hindsight, Hyunjin would definitely regret these minutes, and everything leading up to this moment but for now, all he can think of is the fact that Felix is at risk and it's all his fault. Minho is standing right next to him, a slick cigarette between his perfect lips as he too awaits any news Jisoo would bring with her but she's taking too long and it's making the anxiety in his stomach swirl up to his chest, confining the air within
sure, Minho might not have been the best of friends with Felix but he indefinitely cared for the younger, the moments they have spent together were enough for Minho to pick up on how incredibly kind the younger was, how he was practically an angel. His bright smile reflected the purity he wielded and he hated just how much it all would be tainted now. Felix would never hurt someone, he wasn't the kind of person who could be okay with violence, Jisung had told Minho often times in passing conversations that Felix wasn't a fan of horror movies or anything gore
and it was obvious that everything that surrounded Hyunjin, and the man himself, was a stark contrast. Felix should have never gotten involved with any of this, should have never gotten involved with Hyunjin, because the outcome that has come is likely a tamer version of what could have been--would have been. Minho exhales a deep sigh, the smoke clouding his face before it diffuses into the air around them. The man turned to look at his boss, who stood there with his arms curled over his chest and gaze glaring at the brown door
Minho can't help but wonder what had Felix done to affect Hyunjin this much, to have him basically kneeling and begging, to have him sign off something that was a little too precious to their heritage and do it so without thinking twice. Hyunjin has become an entirely different person these past two months, slowly but very surely he is converting into a different version of himself, one Minho had never seen in all the years he had known Hyunjin, one that was softer, kinder, more gentle.
And though Minho does see the similarity between himself and Jisung and Hyunjin and Felix, he also understands that the situation between him and Jisung is different, vastly even. Jisung lives out of the country for one thing, his parents are powerful people, barely anyone knows of Jisung and his relationship and Minho himself doesn't have that many enemies that would go to the extent of hurting Jisung, any foe he has is through Hyunjin, and if they willed to hurt him they would only come for him and not the people he loves
however, Hyunjin isn't as safe as him, he has millions of eyes on him, so many bullets have been made to carve a path through his chest but none has ever dared to cross him all because he is omnipotent. When a weakness of someone as powerful as Hyunjin is discovered, attacks like this and worse happen. Him loving Jisung won't affect his safety but Hyunjin being involved with Felix will affect both of them. Minho sighs heavily, finds his thoughts becoming too much as he looks down at his hand, discovers the cigarette has run its course so he throws it on the ground and swats it with the heel of his shiny shoe
Hyunjin doesn't budge at his actions whatsoever, as if he is frozen, whereas normally he would be glaring at Minho for dirtying the space around him. The air around them is thick with anticipation and apprehension, hard to breath it in and even difficult to not. Fortunately, the door opens and walks out of it a brown-haired goddess-looking lady, her eyes on the floor as she closes the door behind her and looks up at the men awaiting her arrival
as soon as Hyunjin sees the door open, he stands straight, rushing to Jisoo's side to bombard her with questions as the glare from his eyes melts into worry. Minho follows his actions, drags his feet across the glossy floor and stands behind Hyunjin, hands in his pockets. He appears more relaxed than Hyunjin's off-putting demeanor suggests. "How is he?" When Hyunjin speaks, it feels and sounds as though he hasn't spoken in over a year and his vocal cords have turned dusty and adorned with cobwebs
"Not well"
Jisoo turns her brown eyes from Hyunjin to Minho briefly, blinking before she looks back at the man who seems furious "What do you mean not well?!" Hyunjin has to prevent himself from shouting and losing all of his cool as his worried eyes turn into daggers "I mean that he is heavily intoxicated, likely beaten, especially around his ribs" Jisoo's voice is calm as if she has dealt with worse than this and she probably has considering who she worked for. Hyunjin's world shakes a little at Jisoo's statement, the ground beneath him cracking open
the rage and regret that fills him is undeniably too strong of a force but he swallows it, only because he knows he can't act on his wrath. His eyes a blazing blasphemy pierce through Jisoo's soul as he stares down at her and states his next question through his teeth "There was no bleeding, no bruising" He tries to argue with a certified doctor about her job but Jisoo knows he's not being a typical man right now, instead, it looks like he's far too deep in denial and it piques curiosity in Jisoo
she has worked for him for over 5 years now, and she has never seen him act this way for anyone ever before, who was this freckled guy and why did he have so much power over Hyunjin? she knows better than to speak her thoughts into existence so she clears her throat instead and turns her body towards Hyunjin's to face him directly.
"Bruises can take up to three days to appear, besides if you look through the lens of a professional it's obvious around his ribs that he had bared blunt attacks" She tries to reason with him calmly without calling him stupid with her tone because firstly, she knows he's just sentimental right now and secondly, because she'd like to continue to live
"What happened to him? How can this be fixed? Why didn't you fix it?" He spits through his clenched teeth, towering over Jisoo as if she is the one to blame, his gritted teeth shining like swords in the night and in his eyes swam demons as if invited to partake in some sick and twisted ritual. Jisoo gulped dryly, finding her valour slipping the longer she stood beneath Hyunjin's fire-like gaze
"In this case of hematoma, I don't need to do anything, It'll go away on its own. About the substance abuse, we'll have to wait that out as well. Considering the symptoms, there's nothing to worry about. When he wakes up, he'll be foggy and will possibly have trouble remembering exactly what happened hours prior to the drug intake and hours later the drug wears off, but that's just about it, he's safe from anything severe but to answer your previous question; he is not well. He is in pain and in distress, and the only thing either of us can do is wait"
Jisoo's long speech comes to an end with a soft clear of throat from her, she doesn't know how she made it through without her voice cracking or her tongue stumbling over words when Hyunjin was staring at her like that but gladly, years of working with Hyunjin have made her tougher than she assumed. Hyunjin looked like a little life had been breathed back into him, like he could finally let go of that knot of air in his lungs as he took a brief step back
"So he's fine? nothing serious?" despite the mere relief, he still finds the need to search for assurance, which comes in the face of Jisoo's nod, making him lick his lips shortly and crane his neck to look back at the door beyond where Felix lay. His heartstrings tangled in on themselves "When will he wake?" His voice sounds rougher and he doesn't turn to look at Jisoo. "In a few hours" Jisoo answers softly, licking her pink lips to avoid paying attention to the shiver running down her spine
Hyunjin seems still for a second like he's assessing this situation before he sighs softly through his nose and turns to look at Jisoo, eyes as cold as the worst of nights in the Eastern Atlantic Plateau, and Jisoo nearly freezes at the spot "Stay by his side, Kim. Inform me the second he is awake" Hyunjin's voice is just as cold as his eyes as he pins a look at Jisoo, making sure she will abide as she nods her head in obedience, bowing slightly before Hyunjin turned to walk away with heavy steps, leaving behind a slightly confused Minho
"To the dungeon, Min. Bring the sharpest of blades"
horror-filled goosebumps rise on both Minho and Jisoo's skins, a void opens in their stomachs. Perhaps Seonghwa shouldn't have poked around lairs where lay Hyunjin's precious things, because god help the fools who dared bring harm to Hyunjin's treasure
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Seeing Hyunjin spattered with blood was not something Felix would have ever wanted to wake up to, but now that he sits in this partially familiar bed, he thinks just how many things he hasn't seen in life yet. The confusion mixed with slight worry prances over his skin as his wide eyes drink in the sight of Hyunjin. But when he tries to reason in his mind, remind himself why Hyunjin would be uninjured and soaked in blood, he understands it might just be something else, the black of Hyunjin's shirt makes him give it the benefit of the doubt
The blond man in question couldn't even feel the sticky and foul liquid soaking his clothes because the second he was informed of Felix waking up, he had left all his tasks and ran to him, had walked into the room panting as though he came running, which he did. Which is why he hadn't bothered cleaning up, the worry of Felix and the desperation to see him well and awake had clouded Hyunjin's mind and he had wholly forgotten that he should at least look the part of the lie he had weaved.
His throat goes dry at the sight of Felix sitting there in his bed, where he would never allow a soul though he barely ever visits his mansion. Unable to be calm any longer, he rushes over to Felix's side and lets out a breathy; "You're awake" tone sounding just as worried as he had been as he watched Felix look up at him to get a better view before nodding
"Feel okay?" Hyunjin's soft pants disappear when he licks his lips and raises his hand to pat Felix's head, ineffectual in holding back. His bloodied fingers disappear in Felix's fading blue hair but he doesn't notice the grim on them, eyes only focused on Felix. "Yes, for the most part," Felix's voice is scratchy and groggy and he sounds as though he had been asleep for a long time "Why...why am I here?" Hyunjin knew the question would come, knew that he would eventually have to come clean but now that Felix has stated that statement and it's all feeling real, he doesn't know how to handle it
the dark lord of an even darker world is having a hard time coming up with words, and it should have been a sign, a very obvious one. But Hyunjin fails to notice the hammering of his heart and labels it as 'after effects' as he clears his throat and looks over to the door, not answering Felix's question. "Nam, bring me a glass of juice" His voice is cold and stern, words commandingly stated. He turns to look back at Felix, expressions softening as he doesn't remove his hand from Felix's hair and the shades of red illustrated on the black of Hyunjin's shirt become more apparent the closer he stands
Felix eyes the long stripes of a dark liquid on Hyunjin's abdomen and chest, some of the said liquid paints Hyunjin's forearm scarlet in messy scatters and the sight has Felix's stomach twisting. He looks up from Hyunjin's body, the curiosity and worry in him doubling in size as his eyes grow scrutinizing "What's going on, Hyunjin?" He questions again, reforming his words but the apprehension behind them remains the same. His eyes glimmer a glint of something unreadable but it's not the usual glitter, not the one Hyunjin is so in lov--
The blond licks his lips, feeling his insides crawl up through his throat. He wanted to beat around the bush, wanted to distract Felix but then again, how long could he hide it? how long could he keep himself and his truth hidden? it was bound to come out today or tomorrow, and when it does, all will be over. What they had was delicate from the beginning and now it was going to be fragmented and Hyunjin wasn't ready
"You've just woken up, why don't you let yourself conquer some energy first?" Hyunjin tries to force his lips up into a smile but he fails because the look on Felix's face isn't changing, not even quivering and it makes Hyunjin feel like the weakest man alive. "No, just tell me what is happening" Felix's voice is starting to clear up and Hyunjin licks his lips, trying to run and hide but there's no refugee to seek any longer, it's all out now and he can't hide it anymore
so Hyunjin looks down at Felix, staring into his eyes with his eyebrows furrowed and knitted while the black of his eyes turns into a misty night sky. Clarity is what Felix needs and if clarity's in death then Hyunjin has to bury what they have.
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hi babies, sorry if the writing has been a bit bad lately, I've just been really struggling to get these updates out because my computer broke down and I have burrowed my sister's laptop to write, my exams are in less than a week and studies have been strangling me, with constant preliminary tests and everything else happening in my life it is very difficult to write remotely decent. I apologize sincerely. I cannot just take a break because I am very dedicated to writing and besides, with all of this hectic stuff writing really makes me feel calm. I have scheduled the updates that I have already written but they won't be proofread so incredibly sorry about that, I will be logging off for a month because my exams will last long. Won't be able to respond to you but of course the updates will keep coming. Love you so much mwah <3
p.s: I know I just came back from a break a month ago but this one's not really in my control, sorry lovies :( but at least the updates won't stop ;)