Thunder rumbled as Maya, Riley, and I entered the subway station. I noticed a lady which we see like every day on the bench. "There she is again." Riley said, also noticing. "Crazy hat's always here." Maya pointed out. "What do you think her deal is? Former movie star? Olympic figure skater?" Riley asked. "Bum on a bench." I said, looking at her.
"But look at how she looks at everyone. What goes on in a head like hers?" Riley said, "I guess we'll never know." "Hey, crazy hat!" I shouted, getting her attention. "What goes on in your head?" Maya asked her. "And a new adventure begins." Riley said. "You, you and you, c'mere! I'll teach you about life." Crazy hat said. The three of us walked up to her. Maya and I sat down on either side of her.
"Can't. Stranger. You want me to sit on the bench, I'm gonna need three forms of identification." Riley said. A police officer walked up to us. "Trust me. I know who she is. She's all right." The officer told Riley. "Okay, copper." Riley said, saluting the officer. "Hey! That's officer copper to you." The officer told her. I held in my giggle.
"Mornin', Evelyn. Never gonna stop rainin', is it?" The officer asked Crazy Hat. "That's okay, Eugene. These three little dollies are about to give me one of their designer ponchos." Crazy Hat said. "They're garbage bags, Eugene." I told the officer, as Riley held up another garbage bag. If you didn't know, Riley was wearing one. "But you have to put a hole for your head." Riley told him. "Ah, so you can breathe." The officer guessed. "So the garbageman doesn't throw you out." I told him. "Yep, that happened." Riley said, "I was yelling, but he didn't care." "Dylan and I rescued her from the truck." Maya said. I nodded. "They chased me all the way to 33rd street." Riley added.
"Wow, now that are friends. Me? I don't chase nobody for nothin'." The officer told us. I raised my eyebrow. "Really?" I asked. "What if I stole a banana?" Maya asked. "I'd be very disappointed in you." The officer told her. "Okay." Maya said in a depressing tone.
"I have observed you three are good friends." Crazy Hat told us. "Don't miss a thing, do you, Crazy Hat?" I asked. "No, I don't. Now you're about to be late for school, and I'm about to be late for addressing the united nations." Crazy Hat told us, "Have a good day, dollies. Be good people, learn all you can." Crazy Hat stood up from the bench with a garbage bag in her hands. She walked out of the subway station.
"How does that happen to someone, Maya, Dylan? Do you think that could ever happen to us?" Riley asked us. Some dude walked up to Riley and put his apple core in her hand. "Well, at least nothing worse than that could ever happen." Maya said. I nodded. Some garbage dude picked Riley up and put her in his garbage bin. "Maya! Dylan!" Riley shouted as the garbageman took her away. I picked up Riley's backpack and Maya and I followed her. "Spoke too soon," I said. "Okay." Maya said.
~~~~~~~~
"Belgium, 1831-" Cory started. "No!" Riley shouted, cutting him off. "In 1831, Belgium-" Cory started again. "No!" Riley shouted again, and cut him off. Again. "Riley?" Cory asked. "What's my thing?" Riley asked. "What's your thing?" Cory asked. "What am I going to be, dad? Am I gonna be okay?" Riley questioned. "Riley, listen to me very carefully." Cory said. "Okay." Riley said, nodding her head. "In 1831, Belgium declared its independence from the Netherlands." Cory said. "No!" I shouted.
"What will people be thinking of me if I end up living in a subway?" Riley asked. "What if nothing happens for her, sir? Riley can't end up like that." Maya said. I nodded. "She's our meal ticket!" I shouted. "What the? I just saw you girls at breakfast!" Cory said. Farkle then began to say something in dutch.
"Calm down, Farkle. You're speaking in Dutch again." Cory told him. I nodded. Farkle slapped himself. This time he spoke in Spanish. "No no no. You slapped yourself way too hard. You went all the way to Spanish." Cory told him. Farkle slapped himself again. "My education should not be based on your daughter's moods." Farkle told Cory. "Neither should mine, but it is!" Cory said. He turned to the rest of us.
"Guys, a daughter asks her father, "what's my thing?" This question will resonate in the hearts of all parents from the moment it's asked until the day their child feels comfortable in the world. Pretty soon you're all going to join the work force." Cory told us, "What's your thing? What do you aspire to? How will you affect people? That's the only history that matters." "Thank you, daddy." Riley said. "Thank you, daddy." Farkle repeated. I shook my head.
"All right, guys, tell you what. Let's split the class into two separate businesses and see how you do for yourselves. We'll see if anyone's got anything to worry about, okay?" Cory told us. "Excellent. What will our companies be?" Farkle said. "Doesn't matter." Cory told us. "Uh. How about muffins?" I asked. "Sure. You two are going to be 'Riley and Farkle's muffins'. That'll be your thing for the week." Cory told Riley and Farkle. "I already got my thing. Riley's gonna be a success, Dylan is going to end up marrying some hot, rich, dude, and I'm gonna sponge off them until they get sick of me." Maya said. "We could never get sick of you." Riley and I said in unison. "I am set for life!" Maya said. I rolled my eyes, playfully.
"All right, let's get out there and make some money cash, cabbage, cheddah-cheeeze!" Farkle shouted. "Those are your values, Farkle?" Cory asked. "What else should a company value but profits?" Farkle asked. "If I had a company, I'd treat my employees well and make sure we did right by our customers." Lucas said. "You are everything that's wrong with this country." I told Lucas. He smiled and shrugged. "Ooh-ooh-ooh," I said, and turned back around.
"Then you do have a company, Lucas. "Harts and Friar muffins." Cory told him. "Wait. So Maya and I are going to be working with Huckleberry on this one?" I asked. Cory nodded. "So these two competing companies will hire the rest of you guys as employees. Everyone else in school will be your customers. Let's see what happens." Cory explained. "Here's what happens, we crush you." Maya said to Farkle. "We will be bajillionaires, and you will eat your words using plastic cutlery." Farkle said. I turned to face Farkle. "You're cute when you're menacing." I told him. Farkle's face dropped. "I don't know what to do now." Farkle admitted. "We know." Maya and I said in unison. The bell rung. I stood up and exited the room.
~~~~~~~
"Yay!" Riley shouted as one of her customers handed her some money for a muffin. She dinged a bell. "Yay!" She shouted and did the same process again. "Last muffin from this batch." Farkle said. The crowd groaned. Maya, Lucas, and I were sitting at our own table a few steps away from Riley's and Farkle's. An entire muffin batch were on our table. I noticed that the muffins that Farkle and Riley were selling were really whie. "Why are their muffins so white?" Maya asked, also noticing. I shrugged.
"One dollar." Riley said, handing one of the customers the last muffin. "Hold on. I don't think so." Farkle said, snatching the muffin back. "What are you doing, Farkle?" Riley asked. "It's the law of supply and demand, Riley. We supply, they demand. Let's find out what our last muffin is worth to them." Farkle said. "Dollar and a quarter!" One of the students shouted. "$1. 50!" Another one shouted.
"Hey!" Maya shouted, getting everyone's attention. "What's so great about their muffins?" I asked. "Yeah. We've got plenty of muffins right here." Lucas added. The crowd turned back to Riley and Farkle. "$2.00!" One student shouted. "$2.50!" Another one shouted. "I'll give you my brother!" One shouted. I turned to the crowd in confusion.
~~~~~
"All right, progress reports. What's up in make-believe corporate America?" Cory asked us in class later that day. Maya, Lucas, and I stood in front of the class, to present our status report. "Harts and Friar muffins report," Maya started. "We started with 100 muffins, made each with all-natural and organic ingredients." I said. "And you selected these ingredients because?" Cory asked. "Because that's the right and responsible thing to do." I replied. "You really believe that?" Cory asked. "I dunno! You spend a day with this guy." Maya answered. I nodded.
"So far we've sold 14 muffins at a dollar each." Lucas said. "Okay, how much do they cost you?" Cory asked. "They didn't cost us anything to make." I answered. "How's that possible?" Cory asked. "My mother bought them for us. She wanted us to sell healthy food." Lucas replied. "How's that workin' out for us so far, huckleberry?" Maya asked. I nodded. "As soon as we sell them all, I'll pay her back." Lucas told us, "I stand by our product, sir." "So do I." Maya said, "They're everywhere." Maya walked up to a stack of boxes that were full of our muffins.
"How are your profits, Friar?" Farkle asked. "Let me teach my class, Farkle, okay? I decide what to say and when I'm gonna say it, and I decide who to call on and what I'm gonna ask them!" Cory told him. Cory turned to us. "How were my profits, Friar?" Lucas asked. "Yes!" Cory shouted. "Well, I have those right here, sir." Lucas said. "No. I have them," I said, holding up a folder. I opened it. "None." I said, and closed it. "I'm sorry, what?" Farkle asked. "None." I repeated.
"And it's not right, sir. Our muffins are good for you." Lucas defended. "I'm sorry, what?" Farkle repeated. "None! No money cash, cabbage, cheddah-cheeeze!" I shouted. I thought about what I said for a moment. "You know what? That is fun to say," I stated, with a big smile on my face. "Can't even give them away," Maya said. She picked up a muffin and threw it at someone. They threw it back at Maya. "All right, let's talk about a real make-believe company." Farkle said, standing up and walking to the front of the room, with Riley behind him.
"Farkle's muffins!" Farkle shouted. "Riley and Farkle's muffins." Riley corrected. "Yeah, keep tellin' yourself that." Farkle said, "Unlike our competitors, our profits are through the roof, and so are our employees." I looked at the class. And they were all so jumpy. "Why are they like that?" Cory asked. "They ate the product, sir." Farkle replied. "Riley?" Cory asked. "Everybody seems to like our muffins, dad." Riley said. "Oh, my sweet innocent child. Can't you see why?" Cory asked. "Because they're filled with love." Riley said. "I don't think that's what they're filled with, Riley." Cory told her. "Yeah. Why do they come out so white, Farkle?" I asked. "Because they're 100% carbon, hydrogen and oxygen." Farkle replied. "Uh, explain that to the non-scientists, Farkle." Cory said.
"Sugar! They're all sugar! Just one big sugar cube!" Farkle shouted. "What?!" I shouted. "Ours are oatmeal, honey and locally-harvested berries." Lucas said. "Farkle, you said all-natural." Riley said. "Sugar!" Farkle shouted. "You said organic." Riley told him. "Sugar!" Farkle shouted. "You said delicious." Riley told him. "Sugar!" The class shouted.
"Farkle, we're a business. Businesses do not just mislead their customers to make a little bit of money!" Riley told him. "Ha-aaaa!" Farkle shouted. "We're done for, Farkle. These muffins are pure evil." Riley said. She held up one of Farkle's muffins. "Are you gonna eat that because if you're not gonna eat that I would eat that right now is what I would do is I would eat that right now is what I would do." A student said. "You know how you succeed, Riley? You give the people what they want. That's why we're a success. And they're not." Farkle told her.
"This isn't fair, Mr. Matthews!"I shouted. "Yeah. We had to listen to Lucas and his mother talk about," Maya started. "Good eatin' and wholesome livin' and the natural cornucopia of the earth's bounty" I said in a bad country accent. Lucas turned to me. "Have you ever even heard me talk?" Lucas asked. "Huh-hur-rrrr!" I shouted in his face. "Wow." He said, turning away.
"While these two just poured sugar into a muffin cup. It isn't fair!" Maya told Cory. "What isn't fair?" Cory asked. "That Dylan and I are not on their team!" Maya shouted. I nodded. "Maya, Dylan, what we did isn't okay. But I didn't know and I'm not going down for this. I'll talk." Riley said. "To who? To everyone who loves our muffins? Enjoy the taste of success, Riley. It's sweet." Farkle told her. "Not to me. I have a very bitter taste in my mouth." Riley said. "You must've eaten one of ours." I told her.
"Maya, you played fair. We didn't. We have no integrity. You do." Riley told us. "And what does that get them? We can buy and sell their business. In fact, I like the sound of that. Yeah!" Farkle said, "I propose a merger between Riley and Farkle's muffins and Harts and Friar muffins." "Why the merger, Farkle?" Cory asked. "We both have what we each need, Mr. Matthews. We have profits. They have integrity. I'm buyin' it!" Farkle said. "My integrity is not for sale." Lucas informed Farkle. "Ours is." Maya and I said in unison. "Dylan! Maya!" Lucas shouted. "We owe your mother a hundred bucks." I told him. "Put 'er there, partner!" Lucas cheered and shaked hands with Farkle.
"Our new company will be called "Farkle." Farkle said, before turning to Riley, "Your names are no longer part of the company." "Why not?" Riley asked. "What's the first thing that happens after a merger, daddy?" Farkle asked Cory. "What's the first thing that happens after a merger, daddy?" Riley asked. "Downsizing. When two companies come together, employees become vulnerable." Cory explained. "Don't tell him!" Riley shouted. "Uh, Riley, I think he already knows." Cory said.
"Lucas, fire half of the company." Farkle said. "Start with Riley, Dylan, and Maya." My eyes widened. "Why do I have to do that?" Lucas asked. "Because you're all full of that Texas "gee willikers" hooey. You charm people." Farkle explained, "So you'll be the face of the company and I'll be the behind-the-scenes hermit genius." "Mr. Matthews?" Lucas asked. "How do you argue with that?" Cory asked. "Always liked you, Matthews." Farkle commented, "You got moxie." "Thanks, chief! " Cory said, saluting Farkle.
Lucas turned to Riley. "Riley?" Lucas asked. "Yeah?" Riley asked. "You're fired." Lucas told her. "Fine." Riley said. She walked out of the classroom. I could hear her footsteps in the distance. "Hey!" Maya shouted. "If she goes, we go." I said. Maya and I walked out of the room and followed Riley.
~~~~~~~
"I gave my whole life to that company." Riley said, as we walked into the subway station. She was carrying a box of... office supplies? She was also wearing a garbage bag. "What happened? I can't even keep a fake job. Oh no, all of my fears are realized," Riley panicked, "I'm going to end up here!" "Don't go crazy." Maya told her. Some person walked up to Riley and a garbage wrapper in her box. "Now go crazy." I told her. Riley spoke gibberish as we walked to the bench. And Crazy Hat was there.
"Ah, the box of shame. What happened?" Crazy Hat said. "Class project." Maya started. "Fake business." I continued. "Got fired." Riley finished. "Not so terrible. I've been fired myself once or twice." Crazy Hat told us. "Yeah, but not from fake businesses." Riley told her. "I think you could call 'em that. Now I come down here and watch people coming and going, giving their lives to fake businesses." Crazy Hat told us.
"Welp, gotta go! Big meeting!" Crazy Hat shouted, and got up off of the bench. "With squirrels." Maya and I said, doing squirrel faces. Riley walked up to Crazy Hat and handed her a dollar. "Yeah. Thanks." Crazy Hat told her, before walking out of the station. Riley came back and sat on the bench. Maya stood up and walked off somewhere.
"It's just us. It's just us on the bench. No jobs, no future, no dollar, because I gave it to her." Riley said, "What am I gonna do about my mid-afternoon snack?" "I got pizza crust and a shoe." Maya said, from behind us. "What size?" I asked. "10!" Maya shouted. "What a terrible day." I said, looking away from Maya.
~~~~~~~
"Well, look who's still here. My dollies." Crazy Hat said, walking into the station and sitting down on the bench with us, "Been looking at the people, huh?" "Hey, hat, you're a sight for sore eyes." Maya commented. "How'd your meeting go?" I asked. "Oh, the usual. Yelled at everybody. Y'know, rahr rahr rah! Rahr rahr rah! Had 'em all running around scared of me." Hat told us. "Sounds like fun." I said, with no emotion.
"It's more fun when I come down here from my big, tall building." Crazy Hat told us. "Oh, your building?" Riley asked. "It was named after me." Hat told us. "The Crazy Hat building?" Maya guessed. "I sit here lookin' at all the people because it turns out, other people are the key to your own happiness." Crazy Hat told us, "I watch 'em enough and I start thinkin' about what I can do for them." "What you can do for them?" Riley asked. "Mm-hmm." Hat hummed.
"Now you've been lookin' at all these people, now what do you see?" Crazy Hat asked. I looked around and saw two girls walk in with broken umbrellas. "I see a bunch of wet people," I said. "Who could probably use some real umbrellas." Riley added. "Yeah, not the no-good kind some Farkle sells on the street just to make some cash, cabbage, cheddah-cheese." Maya said, "You know that is really fun to say." "I know right!" I said.
"Huh. You saw all that just by lookin' a little." Crazy Hat said, moving on from our little conversation, "What's a Farkle?" "Don't get me started." I told her. "Did you know that people won't protect themselves from the storm, but they'll make sure their morning doughnut stays dry?" Maya asked as she saw some dude with his jacket covering his muffin. "Interesting observation. Now what are you gonna tell your class about it?" Hat asked. "Nothing." I said, shrugging. "Not going back. Tired of being humiliated." Maya said.
"You know what? We're gonna go back. Crazy Hat goes into buildings and screams at people and you're not humiliated, right?" Riley asked Hat. "Rahr!" Hat shouted. "Rrow!" Riley shouted. The two looked at Maya and I. "Okay, rahr." We both said. "That was terrible!" Hat shouted at us.
~~~~~~
I sat in my room with my diary in my hands. I tapped my pencil against my chin. I haven't written for a while, so. I shrugged and just started to write.
Dear Diary,
It's hard to know what is real and fake in life. Its hard to tell if a video-game is fake. Or if businesses are real. Or if feelings for someone are real. It's all hard to know. But. The right thing seems to glisten and shine bright. That little spark of light shines on what is real. That helps.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maya, Riley, and I stood in class the next day. "It's been raining for six days." I started, "Here's what's real: People are wet and cold out there." "They need something to keep them safe from the storm, and we know how to give it to them." Riley said. "What if every single subway stop in New York City was stocked with donated umbrellas?" Maya said. "The Matthews and Harts umbrella foundation." I said, "It's non-profit." "What?!" Farkle shouted.
"When you come into the subway station you leave an umbrella in the stand and when you leave the next station, there'll be one waiting for you." Riley explained. "The Matthews and Harts umbrella foundation." Maya and I said in unison. "We got you covered." Riley said. The three of us held up signs for our foundation.
"There's no money in umbrellas." Farkle told us. "No, only people." Riley said. "My company makes a profit." Farkle said. "Yeah, but at what cost?" I asked, "Look at your customers." "How could something that tastes so good make me feel so bad?" One of our classmates asked. "What goes up must come down, Farkle." Maya told him. She tossed that girl one of our muffins. Maya flinched as if the girl was going to throw the muffin at her. But she didn't. "At least I was up. What do you have besides an idea?" Farkle asked. "They've got an investor!" Crazy Hat shouted, walking into the room. "Oh no. She followed us." Maya and I said in unison.
"Evelyn Rand." Cory said, as Crazy Hat approached him. "You know Crazy Hat?" Maya asked. "I know she's the chairman of the board of Rand industries. You guys walk by her building on the way to school." Cory told us. "She really has a building?" Riley asked. "With her name on it." Cory said. Crazy Hat chuckled. "You'll usually find me on the top floor of my building going, "rahr rahr rah!" Hat said.
"You three dollies want to know how I got my name on the building?" Hat asked. "I do," I said, raising my hand. "By knowing a good idea when I hear one." Hat replied, "So I've made out a check to 'the three dollies.'" " You can do that?" I asked. "I can do whatever I want. Now what I want you to do is go get some umbrellas, go get 'em in some subway stations. You start. The people will do the rest. I believe in them. I've watched them." Hat told us, "Now which one is the Farkle?"
I looked ta Farkle and he looked down at his desk. "Mm-hmm." Hat said, as she walked up to Farkle's desk. Crazy Hat put one a dollar on Farkle's desk. "Now this is $1.00, Farkle. Somebody came by it by doing hard work. Not by pumping people up with something you knew would let them down. Don't keep the dollar." Hat told him, "It won't fix you if you keep it. Pass it on. That's what changes you, Farkle. Take it from me." Farkle spoke something in Dutch and then Hat replied in Dutch.
"And, you three, don't worry so much about your future." Hat told us. "Really?" Riley asked. "Really, yes. You three dollies, you're going to be just fine." Hat told us. She handed me an umbrella. "Mm-hmm, now here, here's your first umbrella." She said. She took off her hat and put it on Maya. Crazy Hat walked to the back door, but stopped and turned to Mr. Matthews.
"Nice, nice work, dad. You really think that you can make a difference in these kids' lives?" Crazy asked. "Yeah, I do." Mr. Matthews said, looking at us, "I'm their teacher." "Good for you." Crazy said. She walked out of our classroom after she said that. Lucas stood up and walked up to us.
"Riley, if it's at all possible, I'd like to help out with your company." Lucas told her. "Aww. You're as sweet as sugar." Riley told him. She came up to Maya and whispered something in her ear. Maya nodded and walked up to me. She whispered something in my ear. I nodded, and handed my umbrella to Riley. I walked up to Lucas.
"Ms. Matthews says you're fired." I told him, "Huh-hur-rrrr!" I gave him a small smile before walking out of the classroom with Maya and Riley.