Loki doesn't really want to do this. On any other day or for any other reason, he wouldn't bother apologizing. If he's being honest, he doesn't even care about apologizing to Steve. If it was just him, he wouldn't even do it. He's done worse to the guy and never apologized for any of that.
But Bucky made a good point, even if Loki was too upset to admit it at the time. He's been asking the guy to come here for years, and the first thing he did when Bucky showed up was hold his cat hostage and tell him to fuck off. (And, yes, it was Alpine's choice to be held hostage, but she's also Bucky's cat, and he was understandably anxious to see her again.)
So, rather reluctantly, he sets off to find them – or, at the very least, find Bucky – and apologize. He'd like them to start their in-person relationship on the right foot. He has plenty of time to mess it up later.
Unfortunately, the compound is huge, so it takes way too long to find them. He will die on the hill that there is no need for multiple common rooms. There's so much walking and everything is so spread out and it takes so much time to search the place.
It's times like these when he misses JARVIS. His mother has largely taken the role of his confidant that he'd once entrusted JARVIS with, but there's not a soul in this building who could direct him to his housemates the way his beloved AI could. (There's always FRIDAY, he supposes, but FRIDAY will never be JARVIS, and he would never disrespect his friend by using his replacement ceiling voice.)
It takes a bit of hunting, but he finally finds them. They're both seated on the couch – notably very pointedly on opposite sides of it, to the point where Loki feels genuinely uncomfortable entering the room. For two childhood best friends, the tension between them is almost suffocating thick. (Alpine, of course, is oblivious, curled up next to Bucky and seemingly asleep.)
They're watching something on the television. Loki doesn't pay it much mind. Maybe if it had been a more comfortable atmosphere, he would have considered checking it out and maybe staying to watch, but as it is, he'd like to get out of here as quickly as he can.
Bucky is expressionless when he looks at him, but Steve's face seems to light up at the sight. That makes him feel a little better. This is why he wasn't even going to bother apologizing to Steve. Steve already takes any non-hostile interaction between them as an apology anyway.
Unfortunately, he's fairly certain that Bucky does not, so he has to tough it out and apologize anyway.
"Hey," Steve greets him with a grin. "What's up?"
Loki takes a deep breath. Here he goes.
"I would like to apologize for my earlier actions," he begins. "I was rude and dismissive towards you both, and that was unnecessary."
Bucky just looks at him, unimpressed. He actually prefers that reaction to the twinkle of amusement in Steve's eyes.
Still, he soldiers on. "I was just frustrated with what you'd done earlier," he tells them. "I've been very clear, I would like to think, that I care for you, and that I value your lives – all of your lives; even the ones who annoy me more often than not."
Bucky huffs, the corners of his lips turning upward in a slight smile that Loki promptly ignores.
"And I would like to remind you once more – and perhaps this is the first time I've told you this, Bucky – that you are the only people, excluding my mother and Thor, that I will ever get to talk to for the entire rest of my life, and as such, it is very important to me that you not die, because once you die, I will essentially be alone for the better part of four thousand years. This is why it bothers me so much when you decide to do something reckless – including, obviously, fighting each other."
Loki clasps his hands together in front of him, forcing himself not to pick at his fingers. He doesn't expect them to recognize his nervous ticks, but he already feels so uncomfortable doing this. He doesn't want to do anything that could make it worse.
It is, rather unfortunately, Bucky who speaks first. "Did your mom tell you to apologize?"
Loki scoffs. "No, she did not!" he says incredulously. "I am apologizing because I am an adult who can recognize when they've treated their friends poorly. My mother had nothing to do with this." Yes, she may have suggested he remind them how much their recklessness scares him, but she didn't tell him to apologize! He's not fifty years old anymore! He can apologize without being told to do it, and honestly, he's offended by the implication!
Bucky just chuckles, far more amused by this than he should be, and Loki has half a mind to retract his apology then and there.
Fortunately, Steve steps in with a more sincere, "I know, and I'm sorry, too. I'm really not trying to get myself killed."
"But could you perhaps actively try not to get yourself killed?" Loki asks. "Because between the events in Lagos and your fight with Stark, your passive attitude does not seem to be working."
Steve just shrugs. "I'm still alive, aren't I?"
Loki rolls his eyes, but he has to admit, Steve is much more endearing in his annoyingness than Bucky is right now – and that's only partially because he likes Steve more by default.
"Is the child here?" Loki asks. "The Spider?" He doesn't really feel that he owes him an apology, but he'd at least like the kid to know that he can be a nice person.
Steve shakes his head. "Banner took him home last night," he says.
"Is Banner back?" He also doesn't feel he owes Bruce an apology, but he'd still like to see him, just because he's him and Loki likes him.
"Yeah, he's actually the only other person here, I think," Steve tells him. "He's probably in the lab."
Loki cocks his head to the side. "Where did everybody else go?"
"Clint, Nat, and the twins went to the Bartons'," Steve says. "They want to lie low until the whole thing with the Accords is over. And Stark is probably back in Malibu with Pepper – he didn't really say."
That isn't really everybody else, but he'll assume, then, that Sam, Rhodey, and Scott all went home. It's really just the four of them now? That's... weird. Is that weird? It feels weird. Still, it's probably for the best. They've pissed him off too much in the last 48 hours for Loki to actually want to see them all again today.
Stebe gestures with his head to the TV. "We're watching the Lord of the Rings movies if you want to join us."
"Not at all," Loki replies. "I am going to search for Banner. I hope you enjoy your movies." He gives them an awkward smile, and then he's off.
That was a painful conversation. He was trying to be so good. He was trying to take responsibility and apologize. He was trying to verbalize his frustration and his fears in a way that explained but didn't excuse his actions, in hopes that his friends would be more cautious in the future. And he feels like all he got from that was some brief semi-public humiliation. Did your mom tell you to apologize? his ass. That was uncalled for.
But that's why he's looking for Bruce instead. Bruce is never condescending like that. He's a brilliant man who makes a point to always treat him – and everyone – with kindness. That's what Loki needs right now.
Unfortunately, Bruce is not in the lab. He's also not in any of the common rooms – Loki rechecks every one that Steve and Bucky aren't in, and they're all as empty as the last time. He's not in the kitchen, either. Loki's almost starting to think he's been lied to.
He decides to try one last place: Bruce's room. Unfortunately, he's never actually been to Bruce's room in the compound, so it takes him a minute to figure out which one is his. He knows which room is Thor's; he knows which one is Steve's; he knows which one they set up for him if he ever decides he wants to sleep there near them. And that, he supposes, would leave this room to be Bruce's (unless it's someone else's, but this is the closest one to his own room that's not obviously someone else's, so it's probably Bruce's? They really should put signs on the doors).
He knocks on the door. He'll find out whose room this is soon enough, he's sure.
There's a quiet, somewhat groggy groan from the other side of the door, and then Bruce's voice. "Yeah?"
"I was just coming to talk to you," Loki says. "If this is a bad time..."
"Oh, yeah, no, it's fine," Bruce assures him. "You can come in."
Loki opens the door just as Bruce is sitting up in bed. He runs his hand through his hair, a failed attempt at straightening out his bedhead. It's oddly endearing. Humans can be so cute sometimes – like cats, he thinks. Humans are a lot like cats, in a way he can't really articulate and that probably doesn't make much sense to literally anyone else.
"Everything okay?" Bruce asks. "What's going on?"
"Everything is fine," Loki tells him. Does he just assume that Loki wouldn't seek him out unless he had a problem? He hopes that's not the case. He likes his little human friend, for more than just problem-solving reasons. "Am I interrupting your sleep? I can go–"
"No, no, you're good," Brice assures him. He runs a hand down his face as though to wipe away his exhaustion. "I've been telling myself I have to get up for hours. You're actually doing me a favor."
Loki cocks his head to the side. "Have you not gotten out of bed all day?" He's hardly one to talk, but at least he's gotten up to eat some fruit from his fridge every now and then.
Bruce shakes his head. "I had to go all the way to Queens last night to drop Peter off and then to the airport to drop Scott off – and after these last few days, I am exhausted."
"Yes, why did you involve a child in your fight?" Loki asks. Tony did the same, he supposes, when they were trying to stop Killian, but it's not like they wanted to get Harley involved. They sent him home when the actual fighting started. It looks like they did the opposite where the Spider was involved.
"We needed some extra hands," Bruce explains. "I don't know if you've seen what he can do, but he's incredible – and he's smart, too. Have you seen his webs? He made them himself in chemistry class."
Loki just stares at him.
He's not sure any of that justifies bringing a human child into a war zone.
"I mean it; look at this." Bruce grabs his phone off his bedside table, which seems to be an invitation into his room.
Weirdly enough, despite having spent an extraordinarily large amount of time with Bruce, Loki's not sure he's ever been in his room, in the compound or the tower. It's not exactly uncomfortable, being here – not the way he felt uncomfortable the few times he's been in Natasha's room – but it doesn't feel right, either. He'd like to think he'll get used to this eventually, but so far, it hasn't happened.
Apparently, Loki hasn't invited himself in well enough – awkwardly standing by the door will do that, he supposes – because Bruce swings his legs over the side of the bed and pats the mattress next to himself. "You can sit, you know."
Bruce had sat on Loki's bed many times over the years. In no way has that prepared him for being invited to sit on his.
Snowflake brushes past him and jumps up on the bed, much to Bruce's apparent amusement. Loki expects her to curl up and try to take a nap; instead, she just stands there, staring at him. He's fairly certain he knows what he's supposed to do now.
Loki carefully and uncomfortably sits down beside Bruce, which seems to be exactly what Snowflake wanted. She curls up behind him, her body pressed against his back, and he smiles to himself. She's so cute – and so warm, too. He loves that about her.
Bruce rotates his phone horizontally and holds it between them. "Look at this. The kid's incredible."
Loki watches the screen wordlessly. He really cannot imagine a single video that could explain why they decided to get a child involved in their sight. Fortunately, he doesn't have to imagine, because that is exactly what he gets: an incredible video of this kid swinging down on a web, plopping himself in the middle of the street, and stopping a car from hitting a bus with his bare hands.
"How did he do that?" Loki asks, looking at Bruce inquisitively. "I would expect this kind of strength from somebody like Rogers or Bucky – somebody who's been genetically engineered, in a way, to do it. But he's just a child. How did he...?"
"It's a crazy story," Bruce tells him. "He says he got bitten by a spider, and suddenly he was ridiculously strong; he didn't need his glasses anymore; he was like a whole new person."
"That would explain the spider persona," Loki remarks. He was vaguely curious about that, though his concern for the child's well being far outweighed his curiosity about the name. "I assume this isn't a normal reaction to having been bitten by a spider? I feel I would have heard about this far earlier if there was some sort of precedent to it."
Bruce huffs a laugh. "Yeah, no, it's definitely not normal," Bruce tells him. "I might see if he wants me to run some tests; see if we can figure out what happened."
"That's probably wise," Loki agrees. "Especially if this was a recent development. You don't think it could be harming him, do you?" Not that he cares very much about the kid. He doesn't really know him. But he reminds him of Harley, in a weird way, and he'd be a little disappointed if the guy died.
"I don't know," Bruce admits. "But it's something I'd like to check out – and, like I said, he's a smart kid. I think it'd be good for him to get him in the lab someday. I think he'd learn a lot."
"You intend to bring him here?" Loki asks.
Bruce shrugs. "I'd like to," he says. "Maybe once the whole thing with the Accords is sorted out."
"Probably wise," Loki agrees.
"You'll love him, though," Bruce tells him. "He's great – probably the only good thing to come out of this mess."
Loki huffs. He definitely wouldn't say the good outweighs the bad by any stretch, but with how things have been going, he'll take whatever good things he can get.
"Speaking of that whole mess," Bruce adds, "I'm sorry for ditching you and not telling you we were leaving. It was... not cool."
Loki waves a dismissive hand. "I am just relieved to see that everybody is unharmed." And he wishes they would remember how important it is to him – and to the world as they know it – that they stay alive, because he's getting really fed up with having to remind them.
But he didn't come talk to Bruce just to complain, so he takes a deep breath and forces himself to remain calm and not let this piss him off again. In fact, if Bruce is willing to be the bigger person right now, and because Loki is already in the midst of an apology tour, he might as well do the same.
"I suppose I should apologize as well," Loki says. "I was certainly not very polite when I learned what was happening."
"Hey, the way I see it, you did what you had to do," Bruce tells him. "You got everyone to stop fighting, and you caught the bad guy. You're kinda the hero of the day."
Loki's not sure he believes that. For all his fears of the Avengers hurting – or worse, killing – each other, he doesn't truly believe he saved any lives. He's certainly no hero; he knows that much for certain. But he has to admit, it's nice to hear. You're kinda the hero of the day. He could get used to that.
He won't, obviously, because he's not a hero; he's just him. He lives amongst heroes, but he himself will never be one of them. He's not going to delude himself into believing any different. But, between Bruce's words and his conversation with his mother earlier...
He has changed over the few years he's been on Earth.
He has become a better person since he began living amongst the humans.
He may never be a hero, but he'd like to think he's not quite a villain anymore, either.