It's a longish chapter. I have finished writing the next one too. I am yet to edit it.
Is response ke saath regularly update dena tough hain. But I am trying! 35 votes on each chapter weren't much of an ask. Or was it?
Enjoy the read!
At Birla Constructions, Neil's Cabin:
"Dr.Birla is the victim here.He needs you. Please stay back."
Neil's eyes blazed at that statement. He didn't know what was angering him, but he was fuming. He was respectfully minding his business and walking away but she stopped him. Now, that she stopped him already, there was no more stopping him. He lashed out,
"Excuse me ma'am! Aap apni theories please apne tak rakhiye. Mujhe nahi jaan na hain kuch bhi. Mere Bhaiyya ke saath dhoka hua hain. He fell for the wrong girl aur woh regret hi karte aaye hain.
Woh victim hain per us hisab se nahi jaise aap bol rahi hain. Aisa ho hi nahi sakta. Woh koi apni abuser se pyaar vyaar nahi karte. Aisa hota toh woh Dad ko kabka apna lete.
This theory is bogus. Waise bhi I don't believe in all this." Neil rubbished everything.
"# A sense of dependency on abuser
# Difficulty leaving the relationship or coming back to normalcy after leaving
# Defending the abusers even after getting abused
# Loving the abuser inspite of abuse, having an emotional connect with the abuser
# Minimizing or denying the severity of the abuse.
Yeh kuch symptoms hain Stockholm Syndrome ke. Kya tumne kabhi apne Bhaiyya mein yeh sab notice kiya hain? Sab nahi toh kam se kam 2 - 3 symptoms notice kiya hain?
Kya woh aisa karte hain Neil? I need to know." Divyanka's tone was curt and sharp which forced Neil to listen to her and even nod in confirmation.
"Words would help me better Neil" She probed.
Neil looked up with tear filled eyes. It was all too much for him to take. Just knowing the extent of abuse his brother might have gone through and how he was still dealing with the repercussions was breaking him.
Rohan observed Neil and held him in a side hug. He wished he didn't get Neil along with him, but Divyanka requested for his presence, and he couldn't deny her. Especially when Neil will be the one travelling to Mumbai with Abhimanyu.
If Rohan had a tiny clue what she was planning to discuss, he wouldn't have got Neil there. Neil was not just the brother, he is Abhimanyu's first born, his son. It won't be easy for Neil to accept that he was oblivious to his sufferings for so long.
But Neil schooled his emotions and posed another question. He wanted to be sure before accepting the theory as truth.
"Aapne jawaab nahi diya. Agar aapki theory sahi hain toh unhone Dad ko kyun nahi apnaya?" Neil's tone was accusatory.
"Tumhare Dad kya waise hi hain abhi bhi jaise woh pehle the?" She counter questioned. Neil shook his head.
"Matlab woh abhi, filhaal abusive nahi hain. Am I correct?" She was being more precise with every passing question.
"Haan. Ab kya?" Neil questioned again.
"Simple. Woh badal gaye hain. He is no more the abuser Dr.Birla knew. Isliye unse woh attach nahi hue." She said plainly. Neil looked shocked.
"Zara socho Neil. Jo Akshara ne kiya aur jo aapke Dad ne kiya, agar donon ko compare karo toh, filhaal kiski galti zyada hain? Keep in mind the current equation. Haan!" She asked.
"Ofcourse Aksharaji ki zyada galti hain. Kyun ki Dad ne 14 saal se koi shikayat ka mauka i nahi diya. He truly repented and almost made up for all the hurt. Jab ki Aksharaji toh bad se battar hoti jaa rahi hain." Neil seethed by the mere mention of her name.
"Now just imagine. Agar Akshara, tumhare Dad ke mukable, agar unki efforts ka 1% bhi daalti.... toh kya tumhare Bhaiyya unhe maaf kardete? Just answer in a yes or no." She asked.
The realization hit Neil at once. He slumped in his chair. None of them needed words for answers. They all agreed that Abhimanyu would have forgiven Akshara even if she showed a hint of remorse while Harsh's relentless efforts still couldn't melt Abhimanyu's heart completely.
According to Neil and even the facts present in front of them, Akshara is still the abuser that she once was but Harsh wasn't even close to being abusive for the past 14 years. If Abhimanyu still chooses to forgive Akshara and not Harsh even after such contrasting graphs, it only leads to cementing her theory.
That points at Abhimanyu suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, or an offset of the behavioural pattern described as Stockholm Syndrome. It is not a diagnosis. It is rather a set of behaviors and coping mechanisms that can develop in response to trauma.
Trauma which Abhimanyu Birla had in abundance.
"Mujhe pata hain yeh sab bahut sudden hain, tum donon keliye and I totally understand. But mujhe isse better aur closer reason nahi mila Dr.Birla ki behaviour ka.
He is too smart and mature to randomly choose to behave like that. Unhe bhi is baat se bahut pareshani ho rahi thi aur woh chah rahe the ki hum is baat ko figure out karein."
Divyanka tried to start the conversation while both the boys looked too taken aback to speak.
"In short, yeh unki choice nahi hain. He is no fool to take such bad decisions. He didn't go wrong anywhere else except for this. That alone is proof enough that he didn't choose to react that way or behave that way. It just happened." Divyanka elaborated.
"Dr.Divyanka! Can you please brief me a little more about this. I want to know more." Rohan requested Divyanka as soon as he managed to compose himself. He needed to know everything he could.
"Sure Dr.Rohan. I am glad that you asked. Main waise bhi batati but like I said, I am glad....you asked." She obliged and Rohan looked on.
He knew he had to be the strong one here because Neil was in no state to infer and comprehend anything right now. Divyanka started explaining,
"Rohan! It is important for us to note that Stockholm Syndrome is not a conscious choice made by the victim, in this case, Dr.Birla. Rather it is a coping mechanism that develops as a result of the trauma they have experienced.
Like we all established before, he had a lot of traumas, dished at him to cope with, right from his childhood. It can be little difficult for you to see him in that light. Because the ones who watch from outside often fail to understand why a victim would develop positive feelings towards their abuser.
Just like Neil found it tough to accept that Dr.Birla still hasn't moved on and there is a possibility of him still having feelings for Akshara, his abuser. But trust me....that's not the way. It is very, very important to approach the situation at hand with empathy and understanding.
Unhe samajhna hoga aur unhe samjhana hoga. Pyaar se, aaram se, bina sataye aur bina shock kiye. Yeh bahut zaruri hain. Isliye mujhe pehle tum donon se baat karna tha.
I have to make him find out about all this, all by himself. Kyunki agar hum kahenge, toh ho sakta hain ki unka subconscious unhe maan ne hi na dein. Jaise ab tak hota aaya hain." Divyanka spoke and her voice was laced with concern.
"Refraining from victim shaming is the first step towards helping someone who is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome." She stressed on that statement and Neil just looked on with guilt in his eyes. Rohan saw Neil's drained out face and pulled him closer.
"Sab theek hojayega Neil. Itna mat pareshan ho tu. Hum sab hain na. Hum sab unka saath denge. Ab toh humein reason bhi pata chal gaya hain. We are in a better position from before. You realise that. Don't you?"
Rohan cajoled Neil and he nodded but couldn't help himself from asking,
"Bhai! Why Bhai?....... Bhai ke saath hi aisa kyun hua? Unhone kiya hi kya hain? Kyun unke saath aisa hua hain?" Neil was sobbing and Rohan shielded Neil from Divyanka.
He didn't want anyone to see Neil when he was so vulnerable. The gesture wasn't lost on Divyanka who was putting up an act of not observing the boys. She chose to give them time and as much privacy as possible. Neil pulled back, wiped his tears and questioned Divyanka,
"Yeh Bhai ko yeh Syndrome kyun hua? Koi specific reason hain kya? Anything you know of?" Divyanka nodded. She researched a lot on this before she even considered approaching them. She had to be prepared.
"Neil! Iske reasons bahut alag alag ho sakte hain. For instance,
# A history of trauma or abuse,
# Lack of control on the happenings of his life, unpredictability,
# Loneliness and lack of support which forced him to emotionally depend on the abuser unknowingly,
# Not knowing how much damage the abuse is doing to him. Being totally oblivious about it."
Rohan and Neil shared a look when Divyanka listed them out. With each passing second, it only became worse as the theory was proving to be the most likely truth.
"Iska ek aur reason ho sakta hain. Woh hain abuser ka abuse karne ka tareeka." She mentioned a fact like earlier.
"What do you mean?" Rohan enquired.
"There is something called INTERMITTENT REINFORCEMENT where the abuser at times blows hot and at times blows cold.
Matlab, kabhi bahut acha rahenge aur kabhi bahut wahiyad. Woh victim ko confuse kardenge apni behaviour se. Iss had tak kardenge ki unki unpredictability ke chalte, victim ki sochne ki, samajhne ki shakti kam hoti jayegi.
Aur ek point ke baad woh sochna samjhna chod hi denge. The victim eventually gives up trying to make sense out of the predicament, out of mental exhaustion.
Woh completely apne abuser pe dependent hojayenge, unki attention aur pyaar keliye tarsenge. Yeh wala bahut hi extreme condition hain jo maine sirf information keliye bataya." She elaborated.
"You mean to say...ki in mein se ek reason bhi ho sakta hain ya it can be a combination of the reasons you mentioned." Rohan summarised and Divyanka nodded.
"Hum sirf guess kar sakte hain Rohan aur try kar sakte hain ki usko basis banake hum client ki kaise madad kar sakte hain. This is my educated guess." She spoke honestly.
"I get that Divyanka. Thanks for the heads up. Anyways, ab itna bol hi diya hain tumne toh yeh bhi boldo ki aagey humein kya karna hain. How do we approach this situation? I am sure you have something up your sleeve." Rohan spoke confidently.
He didn't want to sit and lament over the issue. He would rather dwell on the solution. Divyanka smiled at Rohan's question. That was the Rohan she knew. He had a spark which was tough to ignore. He had his priorities set in his life and as a counsellor who handles confusion all day, for a living, she appreciates clarity of thought the most.
"There are prescribed ways of dealing with Stockholm Syndrome. Uska first step awareness hain. It includes awareness of the family and friends about the condition and also the victim's acceptance about his state.
Tum donon ko maine batadiya hain and now that I am sure, main next few sessions mein Dr.Birla ko bhi realize karwane ki koshish karungi. Once he accepts, things will start looking better." She explained her next move.
"Uske baad?" Rohan was quick to follow up.
"Tareeke bahut hain Rohan. Humein choose karna padega. For instance, he can join a support group and interact with other victims taaki unhe cheezein better samajh mein aaye.
He is empathetic. Toh shayad similar problems se suffer karte hue kisiko dekhenge toh better samajh payenge. But that will be too public to your liking." She commented and Rohan agreed.
"You are right about that. That won't work. Kuch aur sochna hoga." He responded.
"Yep. Sabse pehle toh Akshara ke saath unhe apni boundaries define karna hoga. In this case, it is mostly psychological boundaries that need to be defined. Aur use har haal mein maintain karna hoga."She suggested.
"Per ab toh Bhai Aksharaji milenge bhi. I mean we can't rubbish the possibility. Phir kya karenge?" Neil suddenly chipped in.
"Phir physical boundaries bhi define karne honge." She stated.
"Itna sab tha mindful rehne keliye, consider karne keliye, toh aapne all clear kyun diya Doctor? May I know?" Neil's tone was sharp.
He was angry because none of this was conveyed earlier and unintentionally, by choosing to allow Roohi to participate, he complicated things further. At least Neil was believing that.
"All this wasn't so clear back then. But even if it was, I would have given the all-clear. First and foremost, Dr.Birla has to work on marking and maintaining boundaries right away. That's the first step. Are we on the same page here?" She asked and both the men nodded.
Perfect. Now just think about it. Isn't it better to start with the boundaries that are visible? Physical boundaries are easier to define and maintain when compared to psychological ones.
Both for Dr.Birla and you guys. They are too evident and can't be breached easily under your watch. Unlike psychological boundaries jo Dr.Birla ke alawa kisiko samajh mein nahi ayenge. There is no way you can keep an eye on those." Divyanka opined.
Neil nodded in agreement and Rohan was no different. That relieved Divyanka. "I hope you both understand and believe that I am here to help. Without that, this won't work." She firmly stated.
Divyanka knew her job and was really honest with her efforts. She will not have anybody constantly questioning her credibility. That statement made it clear. Neil looked down for a second and then away.
Divyanka could read the guilt and apology in his body language and that was more than enough for her. She wasn't fishing for acknowledgement or apology. All she demanded was trust and the guilt she observed told her that trust wouldn't be an issue anymore.
She turned to Rohan, in her best professional tone, spoke up, "Personally, Dr.Birla ko apni self-care pe focus karna padega and family ki support lena padega. Unse confide karna hoga bina hich kichaye. That is the fundamental requirement."
Neil was quick to answer, "That...he is doing thankfully." Divyanka nodded and continued,
"Make sure he keeps up with that. Therapy toh woh waise bhi le rahe hain. I will try to find someone who specializes in such cases. We will need as much experience as possible to smoothen things." She traced the entire plan of action.
Rohan and Neil nodded in affirmation. Rohan felt that Divyanka looked like she had things under control. So, he didn't pester her more with any further questions. Neil had no more doubts left but he was in too much pain. The revelations weighed heavy on his heart.
As soon as Rohan noticed Neil's state and the visible hurt that was etched on his face, he just grabbed Neil's forearm and pulled him up from the chair.
It was finally time to WRAP UP the meeting.
What do you have to say about Neil and Rohan's reactions?
Did Divyanka do a good job as Abhimanyu's counsellor?
Was she successful in conveying the point and convincing them of the same?
To Be Continued........