Sᴋʏᴇ Aᴢᴀɴɪ Bʀᴏᴏᴋs
ᴀᴜɢᴜsᴛ 10 ₂₀₁₈ 📍ᴍᴇᴍᴘʜɪs
♤
"Zani." I heard a familiar voice knock on my door. Because of the news i got this morning i didn't go to school today even though it was friday. "Can I come in?" My mom asked.
"It's unlocked." I said and i heard the doorknob twist opening the door. Chaos got a call earlier saying the police found a body that fit the description of my sister. He and my mom went down to the morgue to identify the body this morning.
"It wasn't her." She said but that still didn't change my mood. We had no way of knowing if my sister was safe, being fed properly, taken care of, or just okay in general.
"Zani you gotta get up, it's no reason for you to be moping around laying in bed, you should've went to school." She fussed.
"I got up already and took a shower all that." I mumbled. "You the one that told me they found Yanna body when Chaos said it was just somebody that fit her description, now you coming back saying it's not her expecting me to be nonchalant?" I asked.
"I don't even know why Chaos chooses to put you in grown people business, ain't shit to fucking cry about Yanna is grown—But you know what she doing and and anything can happen." I lowly raised my voice cutting her off.
My sister and my mother never got along, but just because she acting like that don't mean i gotta act the same way.
"Yanna don't give a fuck about you for you to miss a day in school to mope and cry in bed like a bitch." She said and whatever i was about to say before she said that, i just kept it to myself and kept quiet. This how it always is.
"She been missing for months and now you wanna stay in bed and cry? You don't see me moping around and i'm a mother, i still have shit to do." She raised her voice.
I didn't understand that at all. Chaos took me in, she signed over her rights, so what "shit" is she doing for me for real.
I hated the fact that i couldn't put my hands on my mama, if anything that's what made me frustrated the most. I know my mama been through a lot of bad shit and went through hard times. And as fucked up as it sounds i learned that people can only give you what they got and the way my mama life set up she don't got nothing left in her to give, hurt people can hurt people.
That's why she signed her rights over in the first place.
"Get up Zani i'm not playing, i'm finna go." She yelled. I sighed as I raised up against my headboard.
"Man the fuck up Zani, you getting older." She left out and slammed my door.
I grabbed my phone wanting to text Reign but i remembered she was still at school. I thought about it before getting out of bed.
I knew chaos was gone so I snuck into his room. I was looking for something specific in the medicine cabinet he had in the bathroom behind the mirror.
I opened it and grabbed the bottle of cough syrup that had the word promethazine in bold letters on the front. I took the small little cup off the cap of the bottle cleaning it out before pouring the cough syrup in the cup up to 15ml.
After i drunk what was in the cup i cleaned it again putting it back how i found it, going back to my room. I was left alone to feel like i was wrong for having emotions and despite what Reign assured me, my mama's words still wondered in my head. I couldn't help but to feel like i couldn't physically deal with my emotions. To feel like it's wrong for me to cry.... so i wanted to feel numb. Maybe even sleep so my mind can stop wondering.
Just as I laid down, Reign called me.
"Hello?"
"Hey, why you not at school? I thought you were just gone be late but it's lunch time now." She said.
"Family shit." I answered.
"Oh...Is everything good?" She asked.
"What you even doing on yo' phone calling me, ain't you around yo' boyfriend?"
"No i'm outside sitting on the bleachers with the gym class. You didn't answer my question so i'm assuming you don't wanna talk about it?" She asked.
"I don't." I said dryly.
"Do you wanna talk about it after school?" She hesitantly asked.
I was tired of venting honestly, just knowing she don't have a problem with being there for me and being good company was all i needed.
"No." I answered. "You good though? Like you straight and shit?" I asked.
"Um ye-yeah i'm okay." She said and by the way she sounded i started to feel bad for how nonchalant i was being even though it wasn't intentional.
"Reign you not bothering me." I sighed closing my eyes before opening them again. "I'm just not in the mood right now to have a conversation but I preciate' you calling me babygirl." I said.
"Can you spend the night?" I asked since it was silent for a few seconds.
"Skye i don't think—I'll ask yo' mama myself." I cut her off.
"I'm saying that i don't think that's right i have a boyfriend."
"I know that. Can you spend the night wit' me, i'm finna text yo' mama." I asked again.
"Yeah."
"Ight, I'll see you later." I said and she hung up the phone. I then called her mom.
"Spades you supposed to be in school, what you doing calling?" She joked.
"Uh i had some family stuff going on, how you doing Ms. Angie?" I asked.
"I'm fine, and how are you?" She asked.
"I'm good. I was calling to ask you if Reign could spend the night, i asked her on the spot by mistake, I wasn't thinking." I said.
"It's fine with me...You know what Skye you're so respectable and honest. It's just crazy to me how her male friends have more manners than her boyfriend." She said slickly.
"Really?" I asked to be nosey.
"Mhm, he don't even speak or open the door for her. He be tryna get her to sneak out but you actually come to me for permission, she won't listen to me so maybe she'll listen to her friends chile, but it was nice of you call." She said.
"Okay, thank you Ms.Angie."
"Anytime." She said and the phone hung up and i just stared into space.
"Sneak out?" I questioned out loud.
If he really respected Reign he wouldn't even want her to risk getting in trouble for shit, not even him. At least that's the way I think about it.
Shortly i already felt myself getting tired.
Rᴇɪɢɴ Sᴀɴɪʏᴀ Tᴀʏʟᴏʀ
ᴀᴜɢᴜsᴛ 10 ₂₀₁₈ 📍ᴍᴇᴍᴘʜɪs
ꨄ
"I wanna take you out tonight." Elijah put his arm around me as we walked out the school building. School had ended five minutes ago so everyone was outside.
"Sorry I can't." I said.
"Why not?" He asked.
"I already made plans with a friend earlier—So cancel em." He cut me off.
"Elijah no." I huffed.
"Ight then what about tomorrow?" He asked.
"I'm spending the night so not tomorrow either and Sunday i'm going to church so maybe next friday." I explained.
"Fuck you mean i gotta wait a whole week to hang out wit you?"
"School nights." I lied. He had been pissing me off all week so i didn't want to do anything with him. It's like ever since he's been getting attention from people he been acting arrogant and cocky.
"You ready?" Jaimeer walked up to me.
"You know she spending the night somewhere?" Elijah asked my brother making me snap my head towards him.
"Yeah nigga wit her friends, get out of girl business." Jaimeer lied and put his arm around me basically taking me from Elijah making Elijah arm slowly drop from around my shoulder.
"Imma call you later then." He said before slickly mugging my brother.
"Who house you going over? Cloud emoji?" Jaimeer asked.
"Yeah." I mumbled.
"I'm glad you cheating on that nigga, i'll beat his ass ion know who the fuck he think he be talking to i heard him cuss at you." He said with his arm still around me. "Talking to my sister crazy." he continued.
"I'm not cheating." I assured. "Dang i can't have friends?"
"Girl shut up...Look at TayTay his ass under house arrest i mean Ashantirest." He joked and i looked to see TayTay with Ashanti looking bored.
"Poor bestie." I poked my lip out taking my phone out my back pocket but i didn't see a message from Skye. It's been three hours since i called him. I had texted him but he hasn't responded, I wonder why.
...
"MAMA WE HOME." Jaimeer yelled.
"Why are you yelling Jai?" My mom said.
"I was making our presence known." He kissed her on the cheek and went to his room.
"Hey mama." I said about to go upstairs in my room.
"Why you in a rush Reign?" My mom asked as i stopped in my tracks.
"He called me." She said. "Go ahead and pack a bag i'll
be up there to talk to you in a minute." She sipped from her mug.
"Okay." I said.
Once i got to my room, I grabbed my bag and started to put clothes inside.I checked my phone again and still didn't see a recent message from him.
"Reign." My mom came in my room.
"Ma'am?" I asked.
"Is Skye Okay?" She sat on my bed.
"He just needs a friend right now." I said.
"Why not Jai, or TayTay, or Cj, Von—Mama." I cut her off.
"What i'm just saying." She put her hands up in defense. "They've all been friends since middle school, y'all only started getting close during the summer. But he only needs you." She said.
"He's a boy, sometimes boys either don't talk about their feelings at all or feel comfortable talking to a girl
because—His mother doesn't validate his feelings like she's supposed to." She cut me off.
"Sit down baby." She said softly as she sat down.
"Momma i think you getting too serious." I said. I didn't know where this conversation was going.
"Skye is troubled but he's a sweet boy, before you get in too deep with him just know what you want before somebody's feelings get hurt or someone gets hurt physically." She said and I just sat there puzzled.
"I don't know what—You're my child but you act like your auntie Grace. I'm not dumb, I love you." She said cut me off and walked out my room.
...
Skye still never returned my texts or calls so I drove to his house myself. I grabbed my bag and went to the front door.
I rung the doorbell but nobody came, i rung it two more times and still i heard no movement. I looked around and started knocking on the door.
"I know he wouldn't tell me to come if he wasn't here." I said out loud with my arms crossed. I then called him and all it did was just ring.
"What the fuck?" I sighed and i just stood there before trying to find a spare key. When i didn't find one i just got frustrated and twisted the knob and it opened.
"I'm so slow." I huffed opening the door and walking into the house. I locked the door behind me and realized the light was on in the living room.
I went upstairs to Skye's room and opened the door, it was dark in the room seeing that he had blackout curtains. The only light in his room was from the humidifier that was changing multiple colors. It smelled good in his room.
"Skye." I pouted cutting on the light. He was just sleeping, silently sleeping. I wondered was he sleep this whole time and if so how could he not have heard his phone, the door, and me ringing the doorbell multiple times. I know he's not this deep
of a sleeper.
"Skye." I sat my bag down and shook him but he didn't move at all. "Skye." I raised my voice and shook him again but this time he opened his eyes calmly.
"Cut the light back off." He mumbled.
"Skye? What is wrong with you?" I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What time is it?" He asked.
"Almost four, what time did you go to sleep?" I asked.
"Like ten minutes after i called you, eleven some." He mumbled covering his eyes with his arm.
"Why you sleeping so hard." I looked at him, his eyes were red like he had been sleeping for a whole day.
He ignored me as he got up and went to his bathroom with the door open. I heard the water running so i followed him in there seeing he was brushing his teeth. It was kind of scaring me because i couldn't read his facial expression so I just walked out and sat on his bed waiting on him to be finished.
When he came out he just sat down beside and laid his head on my lap unexpectedly wrapping his arms around my waist and stomach.
"Did you eat?" I asked.
"No." He said and I started to rub his back.
"You have to eat something, what did you take to make you so sleepy?" I asked.
"Nothing." He raised up.
"You can barely keep your eyes open Skye." I said.
"I just wanna go back to sleep." He walked to other side of the bed and laid down.
"Skye you been sleeping all day you need to get up." I said.
"You sound like my mama." He chuckled.
"I-You talked to her today didn't you?" I asked.
"Mhm." He hummed. "I know you got better shit to do you can go if you want to." He said.
"I wanna stay." I looked at him. "We can do whatever you wanna do." I assured.
"You can lay down...We can watch a movie." He finally said.
"I took a shower before i got here so don't judge my fit." I took my crocs off and laid down next to him and he gave me the remote.
"How was yo' day?" He mumbled laying his hand out signaling me to hold and shortly i did.
"It was okay, it's been the same thing mostly in every class, i don't think i'll be struggling in those subjects though. Next week it'll be like regular school though actually doing work and stuff." I said.
"Oh and my friend told me that in your art class y'all supposed to be making a painting or something like that. The 5 students whose painting is the best is gone be apart of the arts fest coming up, multiple schools gone be participating in it, so it'll be 5 students from each school."
"She said once everyone is picked, overall it's gone be a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winner and the 1st place winner gone get a scholarship and the painting gone be placed in a museum or something like that." I rambled and i could see from my peripheral that he started smiling.
"What?" I looked at him and chuckled.
"Nothing just keep talking." He said.
"Well it's mandatory for every honors art class so you HAVE to do it, you can't try to get out of this I told you stuff was gone work out for you." I smiled.
"What's the requirements?" He asked.
"She said it must have the five elements of art, and it must depict struggle and light. Something like that i forgot, you got 5 months to finish."
"Cool." He mumbled and his phone vibrated. "Can I ask you something?" He asked still holding onto my hand.
"Mhm."
"I'm stuck between cutting off my mama or keep excusing her behavior. Would i be a bad son if i cut her off knowing she just acting like that because of her upbringing?" He asked.
"Skye only you can answer that question." I said. "What made you think about that?" I asked.
"You only get one mama, and our relationship ain't the best right now so i was just wondering. If i leave her i'll be like everybody else she had in her life. Ion think my mama ever been loved for real." He vented. "You wanna watch Inside out?" He said.
"Yeah...we can watch it." I said.
"I'm so tired." He said.
"Are you high?" I asked.
"No." He said.
"Wellllll i went to the store before i got here and i know drawing and painting makes you happy so i bought some canvases and paint." I said.
"For real?" His eyes lit up. "Where it's at?" He said and I let go of his hand grabbing the store bag and dumping everything on his bed.
"I'll order us pizza and wings while we draw and paint." He sat all the way up grabbing his phone. I was happy that he had a genuine smile on his face.
"Okay i'll paint something that reminds me of you and you paint something that reminds you of me." I said.
"Bet." He grabbed a canvas as inside out played on his Tv.
"Don't make nothing ugly." I joked.
"Need to be telling yourself that, i remember yo' ass was in art class in freshman year and switched electives mid semester." He said.
"Cause the art teacher creeped me out." i laughed.
"Mhm."
"Boy please i draw better than the man on blue's clues play with somebody else thank you very much." I said.
"Ight then lil gangsta my fault, my fault." He cracked a smile.
"Do you go to church?" I asked.
"I ain't been since i was little." He answered.
"My mama invited you to come to church with us on this sunday, TayTay gone come too. Would you like to come?" I asked.
"Yeah, as long as i get to sit next to your granny, talking bout them folks already going to hell." He chuckled making me laugh.
"Yayyyy, i'll let my mama know." I smiled as i sketched out what i wanted to paint.
"You wearing orange again." He looked up at me and continued drawing.
"Huh?"
"You got on orange again. I told you that color compliments your skin." He said.
"I didn't even notice." I said and he shook his head hiding a smile. "ORANGE you glad i wore it?" I asked and instantly started dying laughing.
"You so fucking corny, don't let shit else come out yo' mouth Reign." He said.
"WHEW." I wiped my tears from laughing. "I'm so funny." My laughing died down.
"Funny lookin'." He laughed.
"Ahehe hell." I mocked his laugh. "What you gone draw?" I asked.
"I don't know probably a picture." He said sarcastically.
"Can you do me a favor?" I asked.
"What?" He asked.
"Shut up." I said and he mugged me. "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I asked.
"Realistically?" He asked and i nodded my head.
"I'll be 23 so i think i'll be in jail." He said and i looked at him.
"Skye."
"You said realistically—You gotta start holding yourself at a higher expectation, you keep thinking like that, ain't good." I cut him off. "Give a different answer."
"I'll be graduated from college by then." He thought about it. "Working my way into having my work being featured in art museums. I wanna do photography too so maybe i'll major in that too and have a career and settle." He explained.
"What about you?"
"Traveling." I smiled.
"I fuck wit it." He nodded.
We continued to just talk about random topics until we were finished with our painting.
"You first." He said.
"Okay." I laughed turning the canvas around showing him the painting.
"It's the Skye cause that's your name." I said. "Why you laughing my stuff cute." I said.
"I'm laughing cause i did the same shit. I did rainbow colors cause i call you Reignbow." He laughed showing me the painting.
"Omg." I laughed as we switched paintings. "Imma keep this in my room period." I looked at it.
"And you gotta do the same."
"Ight Reign." He chuckled. "Food here, i'll be back." He walked away and I had an incoming call from Elijah. I just stared at it and decided not to answer the phone.
____________________________________