THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER!!
PLEASE DON'T LEAVE
i am a bit emotional these days. also can't think of anything positive!! updates are not coming because i don't feel like writing or doing anything productive.
there is also a part of me which hold A LOT of gratitude towards you all and i completely understand your frustration and disappointment as the updates are not regular!
my main focus is on my first novel book on wattpad i mean even there updates are not coming.
there are alot of things going in my mind, it suddenly feels suffocated, the air starts to get thick and my lungs don't work properly, family issues, some crises, overuse of resources, grades, admission, collage,responsibility, expectations, etc. are the only thoughts running in my mind.
my heart aches (literally), the breathing gets unstable and hands shakes, face become red, legs weaken up, eyes holds tears but can't make them fall and the frustration is that i have no one to share, i don't usually express myself.
i always keep things in my heart, no one knows and now those things became big stones tied up on my ankles drowning me into the ocean of guilts. diluted-regret-oxygen gets into my lungs making them almost burst breaking my ribs.
i am sorry everyone i don't why i am writing this but the place i am calling home is not feeling like it should be maybe its my overthinking but i really have no one to share these things! except you all, i don't want your sympathy or pity. i just want someone to listen to me.
i love you all a lot! it feels save when i read your remarks!
sarangae!