I expected him to take me home; maybe that was my problem, expecting him to do something as obvious as wanting to go home. However, instead of taking the familiar direction, he decided he'd completely turn the opposite direction and take us to a place he's obviously familiar with, contrasting my knowledge.
Instead of dwelling on my own feelings, contemplating about the events that occurred not even three hours ago, I'm seated in a rather uncomfortable chair surrounded my alcoholics who know not what decency, respect is.
The moment we came in — mind me, by force, but nonetheless I guess one might say I had a choice; it was either sir in the car until he is ready to leave, or go inside and kill time until he's ready to leave — I can only name about two males who, despite their obvious mannerism and considering the stench of alcohol and weed in the air, went out of their way to greet me. Not by name, but still, they acknowledged my presence.
For certain, I was and still am a sore thumb sticking out in this room filled with ratchet (and I use this word loosely) humans acting like they've never been outdoors before. The music is beyond loud, I think I feel an oncoming headache, not one cup is clean so I have been refusing any drink that has been passed my way, and despite my hunger, I don't trust the pizza places not too far from where I'm sat.
I can't bring myself to get up and eat it.
I know Tsiamo is a popular person. Don't get me wrong, he cleans up well and evidently, so do his friends when it comes to personal hygiene. You wouldn't say this room is filled with dirty men and babes, though, based on their behaviour and the constant passing around of alcohol and drugs, it's very much obvious that this, all this, is done behind closed doors.
They clean up well enough for people to think and only think that they are neat, respectable and respectful, don't drink unless elegantly so.
In the midst of it is Tsiamo. Laughing about, pulling in huffs and puffs of what sparks his boldness beyond what I'm used to, what sparks is loudness. I guess I could smile and find glee at the fact that he doesn't necessarily entertain the girl sitting besides him, perhaps out of respect for me and our relationship. This is his environment, this is what he's comfortable with, yet me on the other hand, I'd do much rather sit at home and drown in silence or something.
This isn't my way of unwinding. Binge watching and overeating is.
The moment they light up another joint, I find the courage to get up and excuse myself, walking out the entire house and into the small parking lot, greedily sucking in clean air until I feel somewhat sane. My arms wrap around my lower torso, eyes gazed up at the night sky and twinkling stars here and there.
Within moments, I turn my attention to the sound of two males coming out, drink in their hands as they laugh about at whatever entertains them. The one, taller and with neat dreads hanging over his forehead and eyes, closes the door before the two walk down the drive way, closer towards me, though the other — buzz cut and wearing all-black — notices my stagnant being against Tsiamo's vehicle.
Their chattering stops the closer they get, both at some point ensuring their attention is on me. Dreads takes a swig of his alcohol, chuckling at the mutter of buzz cut.
"Sorry," he, the guy with the buzz cut, smiles at me the very second they stand more or less close to me. "It's a bit chilly to be standing outside, don't you think? Why not wait inside for your Uber?"
"Eh, but you are more than welcome to come with us? We can take you home." Dreads throws in, his occupied hand points to one of the cars parked. "We're just about heading out."
"I'm fine, thanks."
"You sure? The party inside isn't going to end for at least another two hours."
I shake my head, forging a smile in hopes to humbly encourage them. "Really, I'm good."
Buzz cut nods. Dreads takes another swig of us drink, though neither of them remotely makes any move suggesting they would part ways with me and go on about their night.
No; instead, dreads moves his strands from his face and then points the top of his drink towards me. "Tsiamo's girl, right?"
"Nah, not Tsiamo." The friend chirps in with chuckles in his words. His eyes — despite it being fairly dark, I notice them as clear as day — takes my entire being, head to toe and then some, in a way that makes me tighten my arms. "Too sweet and innocent for him."
Maybe it's humerus. Maybe there's some sort of inside joke only they share, considering they have a round of light laughter at those words.
I don't know, it irritates me. Being preserved as something sweet and innocent, like a glass vase that needs to be catered to and taken care off in every possible way.
I simply scoff and shrug. "Yah, I'm his girl. Though, I'm not sweet or innocent, and I think it's... rude, to categorise me when you don't know me."
Like twins with some sort of telepathic enhancing, they both raise their hands up as though to surrender, chuckling yet again.
"Our bad, our bad. You're right." Buzz cut grins. "I'm Ayanda, by the way. This is Thabang. Friends of Tsiamo, some might say, though we know him through other means. You are?"
Of course I hesitate, though I can't say why. I know Tsiamo is the popular type, knowing by many though friends with a few, or at least that's what he's told me. Perhaps these two could be considered part of the few, I wouldn't know since Tsiamo doesn't speak much about his friends. Not by name, anyway.
I shrug a bit, shifting from one foot to the other. "Gertrude."
"Lovely name for a lovely woman." Ayanda smiles, perhaps politely, as he articulates this in his mother tongue, to which I understand rather fluently.
"Thanks... I guess."
"You always go to these sort of things?" Thabang points to the house behind him. "Or is this more or less of a special occasion?"
"I wasn't planning to come here but... yah, here I am."
"That's reckless of the boy."
"Very." Ayanda twists his drink in his hand, though hardly pays attention to it. No; his eyes have been on me the entire time, and despite the fact that, considering we're having somewhat of a conversation, his eyes would be on me, I feel a different vibe behind them. A different kind of energy. Uncomfortable, I'd say, though not exactly skin-crawling.
"Don't let him bring you to these. This one is cool and calm, the people are chilled in there. But, it's never always like this. Very much loud and people are drunk and high left and right. Feels kind of claustrophobic if you're not used to it."
"It's not my scenery, anyway. You could say I was accompanying him, but he knows this isn't my style."
"Makes sense." My eyes shift to Thabang who finishes his drink now. There's a slight sway in his steps, I notice as he steps towards me. "You seem like the art gallery, museum kind of girl. He's an idiot for not taking you there. Instead he brings you here."
Well, this is getting boring now.
"Weren't you guys going somewhere? Please, don't let me standing here interrupt that. You're more than welcome to continue."
"It's never good to leave a lady all by herself, outside." So, Ayanda also takes his unwanted steps towards me.
Of course, now I'm on alert. I try not to show it, how obvious they seem to be and how tense I'm starting to become, though my partial nonchalant stance seems to somehow entice them. Almost like a game, like I'm playing some sort of hard to get figure and they're simply intrigued.
It's not for long, thanks be to Tsiamo who calls my name from the front door of the house behind these boys. He notices the three of us and instantly heads towards us. Not that my heart was racing quite fast, but I'm beyond thankful he's here to save me. I can exhale in relief, even despite being upset that he even brought me here to begin with, stated by those two as well.
"Heita." (What's up) He stuffs his hands in his pockets as he marches down the driveway, casually but with leaning meaning and purpose. "What's going on?"
"We're just talking to the Cherry." Ayanda , all whilst he speaks his mother tongue, nudges his head towards me. "She's been waiting here for you and we thought we'd keep her company."
"Company..." Tsiamo bitterly chuckles. He finds himself besides me, wrapping his arm over my shoulder before pulling me against him, lips lingering against my temple. I'm not sure if it's some sort of possessive gesture towards them, or a genuine action to comfort me.
"You know how it gets around this time, especially with that gang back there." Thabang points his thumb towards the building. "It's risky."
"I don't need you two telling me how to treat my girlfriend or where I can and can't take her. I'll protect her, that's all that matters."
I should speak up, correct him, though I'd rather not say something contradictory. Me being upset with him does nothing to stop me from stabbing that body heat from him, even if all he reeks of is alcohol and smoke.
"Alright." Ayanda raises his hands up in surrender, eyes shifting to me for a moment's allowance. "Just be careful, ndoda. The streets aren't nice." (Dude)
Without another word, almost as though leaving the conversation high and dry, the two start off moving away from us. We can hear them chatter to themselves on the distance before a car's headlights light up and then switch off, followed by the sound of car doors opening and closing at different time.
"Baby—"
"No, don't baby me." I pull away from him, glaring my dark eyes towards his face. Even though he sighs and rolls his eyes, his hands ensure my arms are still receiving some warmth as he rubs them up and down simultaneously. "Don't even. Like, fine, I get it, spend time with your friends. You know I have no issues with that. But bring me here? Outside my comfort zone like this? And for so long?"
"Look, I know—"
"No, clearly you don't. I was confiding in you. My own best friend and I had a fall out, an argument, and the first thing you think of is, oh, let me take her to some party with lots of booze and drugs and smoke and the such. Hai, come on."
"I'm sorry." He sighs softer now, bending his head towards me and pouts. "It was selfish of me—"
"And it was dangerous! Those two guys—"
"I know, I know." He starts off again. "I was being irresponsible and selfish. This is not your vibe at all but instead I thought a change of scenery would help. I should have just asked and listened to you, asking what you wanted to do. I could have come here another time without you, so to not put you at risk of anything and I selfishly brought you here. I'm sorry, hmm?"
I mean... I like that he's not putting up a fight. And that he being honest, buttering my buns with his words like he knows exactly what to say to irritate me because, what the hell do I do, now, with this anger? I didn't plan to be heard and understood. I wanted a tussle of sort!
"Yeah... yeah and what you did was wrong." I throw in with hesitation.
The boy grins, chuckling as he pulls me against him. "Very. I'll make it up to you, whatever you want. I just want you to know that I listen, and I listen to you. I care about your needs and desires and your feelings too. Don't think I don't."
So, the independent woman in me settles to being a soft girl who just needs soft love; I whine and tuck my face in his chest as he chuckles once more, rubbing my back to provide comfort.
He dare ask me if Tsiamo is good for me? Of course he is! He's so understanding, how could I ever think he isn't. And how dare she think so poorly of him? She doesn't see the side that I do, and that's good if she doesn't!
This is what I need. This, right here. Somebody who hears me for me. I don't know why I was trying to confide in her. The void and longing is being filled by Tsiamo, and that's all I should be concerned and grateful for. He does it for me, always has and I know he always will.
He's mine. He's exactly what I need, and that's good.
"What's on your mind, baby?"
I pull away just a bit, enough to lift my eyes up to his. "I'm thinking maybe we should go back to my apartment."
The corner of his lips lift. "Oh, I like that idea."